Knight of the Highlander (13 page)

"If ye were proud of your necessary deception, then I'd be concerned," she responded, surprising him with her insight.

"Well spoken. But I what if I'm not who you want me to be? What if you are hoping I am another?" He felt his heart pounding wildly.

"I chose ye. If I had my heart set on another, why would I do what I've done?"

"You are wise love. Forgive my heart for doubting." He exhaled a nervous breath.

"Tis forgiven."

"This may sound strange, but will you close your eyes while I turn? I want to see you in the daylight, see you as myself rather than who I was to be."

An impatient sigh reached his ears as she called out that she would indeed close her eyes.

He couldn't help but smile to himself at her impatient nature. The moment at hand, he found himself turning slowly. She stood a few lengths from him, hands folded in front of her, with a small smile playing across her lips. Her eyes twitched as if wanting to open, but she held them closed. The need to touch her overwhelmed him, and he walked closer to her.

"Keep them closed love," he whispered while reaching up and tracing her soft skin with his fingers, and then tracing her lips. She let out a soft sigh, and her body relaxed it's ridged posture as he brushed his hands through her hair, and once again traced her face. Fear of rejection nearly paralyzed him before he could utter the words, but he spoke them. The air left his lungs as he waited, hopelessly breathless.

****

Arywnn held her breath as Knight's fingers traced her face with loving care, sending shivers and tingles throughout her body. The temptation to open her eyes was almost beyond her control. Here he was in the light caressing her face, and she was honor bound to wait. Each moment was both full of pleasure as he administered loving attention to her skin, but at the same time akin to torture as she waited for him to be ready to reveal his identity. She felt his tension in the way he breathed, the way he didn't shift from foot to foot, but held perfectly still as he stood only an arm's length away. His fear was genuine and, not for the first time, Arywnn wondered why.

"Open your eyes love, and see the truth."

Now that the moment was here she almost wanted to prolong it, live in the sweet anticipation for a blessed second longer, but her impatient side overruled her more fanciful notions. She opened her eyes quickly, and met a familiar blue-black gaze.

At first she wondered if she were dreaming. It couldn't be. She searched his eyes before allowing herself to gaze at his face, his nose, and his lips. The need to step back to see the rest of his body caused her to back away slightly, but she saw panic and fear echo in his eyes. She froze her movements.

He truly was afraid she would reject him!

The thought flitted through her mind for only a moment before she began piecing parts of the puzzle together. How had she not seen it before? He arrived around four years ago, but his Scottish brogue was perfect. No one had questioned him. As a blacksmith, he heard all the news from both clansmen and those passing through. It's how he knew to get Garten. It's how he was able to save her that one fateful night that began the whole misadventure. The constant questions and answers her mind kept twisting made her feel dizzy. A moment of closing her eyes proved to help alleviate the confusion, but she still had one question.

"Ye were the one that…" words failed her. "I mean, how did ye expect…!" she tried again. "Ye couldn't very well turn yerself in, now could ye Colin? What were ye thinkin' agreein' tae help me!" She shook her head and closed her eyes for a moment before opening them to spear him with a withering glare. "Ye really are daft!" She shook her head trying to collect her jumbled thoughts.

"Ye aren't upset with me then lass?" he lapsed into his brogue.

"Don't."

Confusion and pain flickered in his eyes.

"Tis not who ye are," Arywnn added as she reached up to trace the bearded shadow of his jaw with her fingers. He closed his eyes at her slight touch and leaned into her hand.

"No more deception. Speak true," she whispered as she pulled the hood off his head and revealed his raven hair.

"Are you angry with me?" he whispered in his native crisp accent.

"No," she whispered, gazing into his eyes.

"Surprised?"

At this she laughed.

"Aye, but truth be told, each time I tried tae imagine what my Knight looked like, I'd picture ye."

"Truly?" His face broke into a shocked smile that lit up his face.

"Aye, truly."

The grin on her face was beginning to hurt her cheeks, but the question of why still burned in her mind.

"Ye never answered me Colin. Why? Ye knew ye couldn't very well help me when I asked! Why did ye agree? 'Twas foolish."

"Ah love, that question is one I'm afraid you'll perhaps not understand, or forgive easily." His eyes lost the merry twinkle shining only a moment earlier. They looked like solid stones as he took a fortifying breath, and raised his hand to rub his jaw. Arywnn noticed just how large his hands were. The calluses were dark from soot gleaned from the forge. His hands were always so gentle in contrast to the strength they implied; the strength she knew they possessed.

"You know I watched you," he spoke in a low whisper as he studied the toe of his boot.

"Aye. I still dinnae' ken why."

A chuckled escaped his lips before he regarded her gaze.

"Because I was powerless not to. From the first week I arrived to Clan Chattan, I saw you skipping merrily along and lost my heart to you."

"But I didn't speak with ye till a good two years back! Ye arrived more than four ago."

"True, but that doesn't mean I didn't wish it were otherwise."

His admission brought a rush of blood to her face in pleasure.

"I knew it would not be wise to get attached to anyone, not with my… profession." He paused and his eyes watched hers, as if searching for a reaction before he continued. "I kept myself from speaking with you for two years, but those two years were spent watching your movements from the forge and among other places." He chuckled softly.

"My heart pounded when you first came up to me and asked about shoeing Garten. You didn't know me, yet I knew what flower you liked, your relationship with your mother, your love of horseback riding, your fear of your father." He paused and clenched his jaw. "Yet you knew nothing about me, save I was the one who could shoe your horse. As easily as that could have frustrated or caused me despair, I rather found it comforting. You would never have to know about me, about the truth. By remaining silent I was, in truth, protecting you. I'd by far have rather done that," he mumbled slightly causing Arywnn to wonder if he regretted his decision to reveal himself, to take her away.

"Ye regret me?" she whispered with regret evident in her tone.

"No, not at all love!" He reached out and grasped her arms and pulled her tightly into his chest. He smelled of smoke and mint. She inhaled deeply letting the familiar scent calm her heart. After he kissed the top of her head, he continued.

"Love, do you remember the night that Rian was deep in his cups and almost set the gate on fire?"

His grip on her had tightened as he wove his arms around her back and held her close.

Aye, t'was the same night my mither passed. Though I dinnae' ken about the fire till later. Me Da' about killed him. We were all shocked afterward when he was still champion."

"True, but what you didn't know was that I was there that night. I had watched him leave and gallivant across the road to the gate while grasping a torch and swinging it wildly. He was calling out loudly about a pact he had made with the Chattan but was making no sense. I almost ignored him, but then I heard your name, so I followed him."

"My name? Why would he be speakin' of me?"

"You remember what your father said, about being promised to Rian?"

"Aye."

"Well, he wasn't fulfilling his duty and giving your father want he wanted. Your father threatened to give the position and prize to another. Rian sought out your father, fought him, and threatened to kill him if he went back on his word. Your father relented and promised him the position of Tanist, but he had to bring the traitor forth, or frame one. A few days later Rian approached me to fashion a dagger. He said he knew about my, affection, for you and warned me against it. Not long after, he approached you just outside the forge."

"So, my father might not have known it was ye? Then why… I don't understand."

"Aye, he indeed intercepted one of my missives, but he didn't recognize the name or handwriting, so my identity was safe. When I notified my superiors that my identity had been compromised, they suggested I leave. But I couldn't, not when I wasn't sure of your fate."

"They wanted ye tae leave?" Arywnn asked breathless, as her heart pinched at the thought.

"Yes, but I chose to stay. I knew your father wouldn't act on his promise till later so I had time."

Confusion settled in her chest as she thought of her father's prize to the one who rooted out the spy in the clan.

"It was all an elaborate plan for Rian to earn the clan's respect."

"So Rian didn't know it was ye? He just suspected that Colin the smithy was interested in the Laird's daughter?" Her eyes searched his, desperate for affirmation. The last thing she wanted to do was fear that Rian was hot on their trail.

"No, he wasn't aware it was I. He had another man in mind. When he found out he was incorrect, he planned to frame another to salvage his pride. That's why he wanted a dagger made. He didn't want anyone connected to the weapon so that when it was found, it could be used as evidence."

"But ye knew…"

"And I'm sure Rian planned to silence me, and possibly frame me as the co-conspirator. As soon as he asked me about the dagger, I knew time had run out." Colin spoke the last words with acute disgust. He took a deep breath, and regarded her with a gentle gaze. "To get to the question you asked, I agreed to help you because it was one of the only ways I could think of to determine if you would be willing to escape with me without betraying my mission."

"So ye posed tae be two men, when in fact ye were one and the same," she whispered.

"So…'Twas you that rescued me that night from Rian." She shuddered as she thought of what could have happened, what would have happed to her had Colin not rescued her. "Twas you who kissed me and then, 'twas also you that stood there while I made a fool of myself and, asked ye to help me find ye."

"Well when you put that way…" He chuckled.

Arywnn pulled away from his embrace, embarrassed.

"Why didn't ye think ye could trust me? I kissed ye! I never once betrayed ye tae Colin, even though it was ye the whole time. How did I not know?" The full understanding of the situation weighed upon her shoulders. She had been a fool!

"Love, do not be angry with me. Please." His tone was so sincere that Arywnn's frustration melted slightly. He trailed his callused fingers down her arm, and she shivered in response. "I had to be sure love. I had to be sure that you would choose me, but more than that, there was nothing more that I wanted than for you to pick me over the lie."

His hands reached down to grasp her fingers, and he held them tightly.

"At night I would dream of what it would be like for you to know the truth and not care. So many times I wanted to tell you. It was torture having you walk by me, knowing the sweetness of your kiss, the strength of your heart and loyalty, and not pull you into the forge and kiss you senseless, but I knew it wasn't time yet to reveal myself. As time went on and I continued my charade, I knew that if I told you, you wouldn't be able to hide the truth from shining in your eyes. That was a risk I couldn't take, either for your or my sake."

As much as she wanted to hold onto her pride and lick her wounds, she saw the truth of his words. Indeed she wouldn't have been able to keep herself from giving away her heart. She had a hard enough time keeping the truth of her feelings for Colin under concealment around others. Had she known that both Colin and Knight were the same… both her fear and love for him would not have easily been hidden.

"Aye, I understand."

The trees whispering in the wind was the only sound as Colin held her gaze.

"Do you forgive me then, for deceiving you?" He spoke the words as a plea.

"Aye, I do."

He closed the distance between them with a look that was both tender and fierce. Her belly filled with delightful anticipation. His eyes gentled and sparkled as they roved over her face. The wind teased her hair, and she traced her fingers down her face to clear it away. Colin reached up and stopped her hand, and proceeded to caress her face with his fingers before he deliberately lowered his head till he brushed his lips across her own. This kiss was sweet, unhurried, and exquisite in its application. The warmth of his lips seeped into her body, and she hungered for more. With a smile she thought of how she was kissing both Colin and Knight, indeed she had always been kissing them. It seemed odd to be given exactly what she desired. A small smile teased her lips. He broke the seal of their kiss, and regarded her with a questioning gaze.