Knock Me for a Loop (20 page)

“Only eight?” she challenged. “I thought you always claimed to be at least ten, fully erect.”

His lips twitched. “This is the one and only time eight sounds better than ten. Of course, if you’d like to measure me to make sure…”

She put a hand on her hip and hitched it to the right. “No, thanks, I’ll take your word for it. Besides, you know what they say: anything more than a mouthful…”

Even if he’d wanted to, Zack couldn’t hide the involuntary jerk of his penis at her suggestive remark. Grace bit the inside of her lip to keep from smiling.

“Why don’t you get your sweet ass over here and put that to the test,” he all but growled.

She took a step in his direction, then another, taking her time and making sure he looked his fill. When she reached the end of the bed, she climbed on, one knee and then the other.

“We can’t leave Bruiser in the bathroom for long,” she reminded him, crawling slowly toward him, “so you have to choose. I can either make you happy…” She licked her lips as she reached his thighs and lifted a leg to straddle him. Then she took the string of condoms from his hand and dangled them in front of him. “Or we can make each other happy. Your choice.”

His chest rose and fell with his rapid breathing, his stomach muscles going concave as she ran her fingers down the center of his torso and lower.

“Oh, I want us both to be happy,” he said, voice grating. “We’ll just have to save the other for later.”

The corner of her mouth curved, and she chuckled. “Okay, but we’ll have to be careful. We wouldn’t want Bruiser to mistake this for one of his bones or chew toys.”

Zack sucked in a sharp breath as her hand closed around his burgeoning cock. “Definitely not.”

Sticking the corner of one of the plastic packets in her mouth, she bit down and tore the rest away along the perforation, tossing them aside. Then she tore open the single packet and removed the circle of latex.

“Do you want me to put it on?” she asked him.

“You have no idea how much,” he replied, a huff of air bursting from his lungs.

As much as she would have liked to linger and play with him a while longer, she was also horny and eager and didn’t want Bruiser getting any destructive ideas before they’d gotten to the really good stuff. So she wasted no time in fitting the condom over the head of his penis and rolling it down his thick, significant length.

Once it was securely in place, she leaned forward and took his mouth in a long, slow, luxurious kiss. His hands slipped to her waist, those wide palms spanning nearly from breast to hip.

After several long minutes, he pulled back, and she expected him to say, “Let’s get to it,” or pull her forward so that she was flush with his erection. But instead, he drove his fingers through the hair at her temple, caressing her and looking deep into her eyes.

There was something there, something serious and meaningful that caused her stomach to flutter. It wasn’t just sex now. She didn’t know what he was thinking, but she knew the mood of the room had shifted—imperceptibly, but significantly.

“What?” she asked softly, holding his gaze.

“I need to know …” He stopped, licked his lips, and started again. “Is this just blowing off a little steam, or is this…Do you believe me when I say I didn’t cheat on you?”

Her heart seized inside her chest, a tight squeeze that stole her breath for a second. It was The Question. The Big One. A fork in the road. One of those superimportant, life-altering moments.

The problem was, she didn’t have an answer for him. Not a definite one, at any rate.

She swallowed hard and gave him the only response her conscience would allow. “I don’t know.”

His lashes fluttered and a curtain dropped on the other side of his lapis-blue eyes, making her heart twist even more.

“I’m sorry, Zack,” she apologized, and she meant it. “I
want
to believe you, really I do. I just…I know what I saw, and it’s hard for me not to think the worst, but…”

Shaking her head slightly, she put her hands on either side of his face and held his gaze, trying to let him know without words that she
did
want to be here. Her emotions might be in turmoil, her mind might be racked by confusion and doubt, but the one thing she
wasn’t
confused about was being with him at this very moment.

“Right now, this minute, though, I do believe you.” Leaning in, she brushed her lips across his. “Please let me believe,” she whispered against his mouth. “Just for tonight.”

Row 19

Zack exhaled on a sigh.

Just for tonight.

It wasn’t exactly an absolution of his supposed sins or even a declaration of undying love.

Just for tonight.

It didn’t actually change anything for either of them. They might be naked and in bed together, about to take part in the most intimate act possible between a man and a woman, but when they awoke in the morning, they would be right back where they’d started.

Did he care?

Hell, yes.

Was he going to push her away, tell her they had to stop because she still thought—or at least believed there was a possibility—he’d been unfaithful?

Sigh.
No.

A bigger man might say that pride was more important than getting laid—and it was. But being with Grace wasn’t about pride
or
sex. And if it meant lying to himself, pretending she trusted him and that everything was okay…Well, then, he could do that.

Just for tonight.

Knowing there were no words for what they were about to do or the million thoughts spinning through his head, he nodded.

Grace’s shoulders, which she’d been holding military straight, slumped with relief, and the breath she’d been holding released in a
whoosh.
Her lips lifted in the gentlest of smiles.

Amazing how a woman straddled buck naked on his lap and promising all manner of naughty, dirty deeds to come could still look so freaking angelic. She was so beautiful, it was almost painful. His teeth ached just looking at her.

But other parts of him ached more.

Digging his fingers more firmly into her hair and along her scalp, he pulled her close and covered her mouth with his own. He kissed her to let her know this was all right with him, that everything was going to be all right, even in the morning, in the bright light of day when she might be faced with regrets for what they were doing now. And maybe, if he was lucky, in hopes of helping her to realize that he was worthy of her trust.

She kissed him back, her lips pressing against his, her tongue sucking and twining, driving him half out of his mind. His free hand splayed at the small of her back, bringing her close so that her breasts flattened to his chest and the tip of his cock nudged between her legs.

“I thought you said you were going to ride me,” he murmured between nips of her lips, her chin, her throat. He wanted to kiss her everywhere at once, taste every inch of her skin, lick her from head to toe and back again.

“Mm-hm.” Her eyes were closed, her platinum-blond hair dusting her shoulders seductively.

“Grace?” He spoke her name softly, amused by the blank expression on her face.

“Hmm?”

She was so caught up in the passion, in his kisses, in her own arousal, that he probably could have recited the Periodic Table of Elements or asked her to walk barefoot across flaming coals and she would have reacted the same way.

“And are you going to, or would you rather we keep doing this?” He trailed his mouth down her chest, leaving patches of wetness along her skin from the tiny love bites.

“Licking.” He licked the swell of one breast.

“Nibbling.” He moved to her areola, taking the softer, darker, more tender flesh between his lips, and giving it the gentlest of nips with his teeth.

“Sucking.” He took the nipple into his mouth, doing just that.

“Yes,” she groaned, pressing herself more fully into his ministrations. “God, yes.”

He chuckled, more than happy to continue giving her pleasure. Something this delectable, he could do all night.

“Like that?” he asked, continuing to lave one breast for a few seconds longer before moving to the other and repeating the same slow, torturous treatment.

His gut clenched as she moaned in response, her fingers knotting through his hair. Lower, his dick twitched and his balls drew up.

God, he wanted to be inside her. More than his next breath. He’d missed her so much. Dreamed about having her in his arms again for so many months.

He stroked her back, her hips, reveled in the feel of her buttocks pillowed on top of his thighs. She smelled of her favorite spicy-sweet perfume; something one of the high-end fragrance companies had sent her years ago that she’d fallen in love with and decided to make her signature scent. It was a heady mix of ginger and cala lily, and had always made him unaccountably hungry—for her.

Her nails scraped his scalp, sending shivers along his skin. Abandoning her breasts, he began to kiss a line down the center of her torso, leaning her back over his stretched-out legs, bent slightly at the knees.

She went willingly, bending like a Barbie doll so that he could reach her navel. He wanted to go lower, and had every intention of flipping her over onto the mattress in just one…more…minute.

Arching even more sharply toward his ankles, Grace put her weight on his knees. A flash of pain stabbed through the left one—not as bad as that day in the kitchen, but enough to make him suck in a breath.

She straightened immediately, the haze of desire gone from her eyes, replaced now by the clear shine of reality.

“I told you this was a bad idea,” she said, her mouth tugging down in a concerned frown.

She started to pull away, to climb off his lap, but he was having none of that. Tightening his grip on her waist, he held her in place.

“Don’t even think about it,” he growled through gritted teeth.

“But I hurt you,” she complained, still holding herself away from him, though no longer struggling to leave completely.

“No, you didn’t. A puck, a net, twelve hockey players built like fucking steamrollers, and a shitload of bad luck hurt my knee.
You
make me feel better.
You
make me horny as hell.
You
aren’t going anywhere until we’re finished here.”

“You promised—”

“And I’ll keep that promise. I’m fine. My knee is fine. I just need you
closer
—” He yanked her forward, face to face, chest to chest, pelvis to pelvis. “And it won’t be a problem. Trust me.”

His words ended on a whisper as he held her gaze, his breath dusting her cheek.

“Do you trust me, Grace?”

Her tongue darted out to lick her lips and he saw the tendons of her throat contract and release as she swallowed. She gave a small nod, and the ball of tension in the pit of his stomach began to loosen.

It wasn’t complete and total forgiveness, it didn’t even apply to the big picture when it came to their relationship. But it was something, and he was desperate enough to take what he could get.

“Take me inside,” he murmured, his voice ragged, his lips a hairsbreadth from hers.

She rose up an inch or two and he moved his hand down to her hip, helping to guide her as she centered herself over his throbbing erection. One hand folded over his shoulder, the other wrapping around his cock and positioning him at her entrance. And then she was sliding down, enveloping him, sending his temperature soaring.

He locked his jaw and ground his molars nearly to dust in an effort not to groan, to scream, to beg. God, she was tight. And hot and wet and wonderful.

She felt like heaven. Paradise on plain white ten-thread-count cotton hotel sheets.

He wanted to pull her down, impale her fully on his aching rod, but he also wanted it to last. Slow was killing him …but what a way to go.

Her lips parted, and she started to take tiny panting breaths. He was right there with her, nostrils flaring as he fought to keep his heart from pounding out of his chest.

With a sigh, she sank down and covered him completely. The air huffed from his lungs, releasing some of the tension that had his muscles pulling cable-taut.

Grace grinned, just a tiny, contented lift of her lips. But it reached her eyes, glittering there with diamond-like satisfaction.

Her peaceful expression reached inside him, stroked him in places that hadn’t been touched in a very long time. It warmed him and gave him hope for the future.

Sitting up, he wrapped his arms around her, hugging her close to his body. As close as possible without crawling into her skin.

“I love you, Grace.” He hadn’t planned to say that, hadn’t planned to say anything. But the words were there, crowding his chest and burning a path up his throat. And when he opened his mouth, they spilled out like too many marbles crowded into ajar.

Her lashes fluttered, her pleasure fading slightly.

“I know that’s not what you want to hear,” he said.

“I know you’re not ready for that, or for anything more than right here and now. And that’s okay—I don’t expect more. I just need you to know how I feel.”

Squeezing her even tighter, he brushed a hand over her hair, refusing to break eye contact, regardless of how uncomfortable he might be making her.

“I love you, Grace. I always have, from the moment I met you. And I suspect I always will, whether you believe me or not, whether you return those feelings or not.”

He could see her bottom lip trembling, emotions swirling like a storm cloud across her face.

“And I will
never
do anything to hurt you. I never have, not intentionally.” Running the pad of his thumb over that lip, he gave a sad half-smile. “I hope one day you can find it within yourself to trust the truth in that.”

Her lips parted as though she were about to speak, but he didn’t want to hear her arguments or denials, not even another apology for not believing in her soul that he hadn’t—and would never—cheat on her. It was enough that he’d said his piece and made his feelings known.

“It’s all right. You can relax, I’m finished now,” he said, placing a single finger over her mouth to keep her from saying anything. He didn’t want the evening thrown off track any more than it already was.

Although it took some doing, he forced himself to offer her a weak smile. “We can get back to the good stuff now.”

For a minute, he thought she was going to bolt, thought he truly had ruined things for both of them. But then she took a shuddering breath and gave an even jerkier nod.

“Forgive me for getting all serious on you there for a second?” he asked, rubbing his palms up and down her back, doing his best to soothe and comfort her.

She nodded, though he could tell her whole heart wasn’t in it. And then she surprised him by saying, “This is more than just sex for me, too.” Her voice was low, uncertain, the dark blue pools of her eyes reflecting the same. “I’m not sure how much more, but it is.”

“Glad to hear it,” he quipped, trying to add some much-needed brevity to the situation. “Of course, if we don’t start wiggling around a little, I’m not sure we can really call this sex.”

As he’d hoped, she laughed, and just that quickly the mood in the room lifted, lightened. Her arms looped around his neck, and she leaned in for a soft, slow, lingering kiss. When she broke away, they were both panting and the heat between their linked bodies had cranked up at least a dozen degrees.

“So are you going to fuck me, or do you want to spend more time talking about your feelings like some pansy-ass girl?” She cocked her head to the side, mouth curved in a mocking grin, eyes glittering with amusement.

“Oh, I’d much rather fuck you than talk,” he said. No thought necessary. “Of course, since you’re on top and you don’t want me to strain my knee, maybe it would be better if you fucked me.”

“Mmm, good idea.”

Her inner muscles flexed around him—a deliberate (and debilitating) move on her part, no doubt—making him gasp. His head fell back against the headboard and his hands grasped her hips, holding her tight and close as she began to move on him.

She shifted back and forth, slowly at first, just enough to cause a slight friction. Although, as wound up as he was already, even those gentle motions were like touching the tip of a match to a pile of gas-soaked rags. And then she added a little up and down to the mix, and bursting into flames became a very distinct, very realistic possibility.

He groaned, biting the inside of his cheek to keep from cursing a blue streak. His cock ached. His balls throbbed. He wanted to come so badly, he was ready to beg.

But he wanted Grace with him. It was all or nothing tonight, no shortcuts and no one-sided finales.

He reached up, cupping her breasts, running his thumbs around and then over her nipples until she whimpered and pulled her lower lip between her teeth.

“Faster,” she breathed, and then matched her actions to the desire. Her hips canted, picking up speed. Her thighs clamped around his.

His blood heated, running through his veins like molten lava. Leaving one hand on her breast, he slid the other down her belly, over the triangle of springy blond curls between her legs, and into her silken folds.

She groaned, licking her lips and letting her eyes slide closed, and he wasn’t far behind. He felt himself moving within her…or rather, her moving around and atop him. It was sexy, erotic, irresistible. But it wasn’t what would get the job done.

The pads of his index and middle fingers found her clitoris. Found and rubbed, using her own moisture to ease the way and build that slick back-and-forth slide.

He increased the pressure, which increased her movements, making them both pant and huff and gasp for air. His chest squeezed like a vise, and every time she rippled around him, lifted off and drove back down, he could have sworn the top of his head shot off a good three inches. As close as he was to flying apart, he knew he wouldn’t be able to hold back much longer.

“Come with me,” he grated, giving the tiny nub between her legs a flick before circling, stroking, doing everything he could to push her over the edge. “Come with me.”

She bit her bottom lip, so hard he worried she might draw blood. She came down on him harder and harder, and he raised his hips, meeting her thrust for thrust until his vision turned gray and hazy.

Her nails clawed at his shoulders while his hands clutched her hips and buttocks. She cried his name, stiffening above him, arching with pleasure, gripping him in the tightest, most exquisite iron fist.