Knots (10 page)

“You know, some people would say that’s what a controlling asshole would say.”

He chuckled low in his gut. “Some might say that, but you know better.”

Her brow popped up. “I do?”

“Yes, you do.” He brushed her hair over her shoulder with his free hand again. Her shoulder tightened, then shivered directly after contact. He set his hand over hers to settle her. “A controlling asshole would take no thought for what’s best for you. I would never do that to you. Pono may have, but I won’t—
ever
.”

She choked on her exhale. “He cared about what I wanted.” Her voice escalated.

“Go ahead and shout it, little one. I’m fine explaining to his family we’re back here and that your husband held you back.”

“How do you figure?” Her hand yanked out of his, and she crossed her arms over her chest, making the most delicious cleavage imaginable from his vantage point.

Fuck, she was so curvy and sweet.

“He went to school and finished, and you did what? Remind me . . .”

“I worked to help pay for bills and get him through, but we decided that together,” she said, her right eye twitching like she was barely holding back the tears.

“You never decided that together. You didn’t have a choice, sweetheart,” he said, his tone going soft and his eyes full of empathy. “You couldn’t have. You want to serve—to please. You saw that he needed this, and even if he’d told you that you should both go to school simultaneously, there’s no way you would’ve ever done that.” He reached out and stroked her hair for a second, then dropped his hand.

He already missed touching her.

“Did he tell you that?”

“No, why?” His brows pushed together again, and his eyes searched hers.

“Because you
just
said exactly what happened, except . . .” She looked away.

“
Except
?” He leaned toward her and inhaled the scent of her hair. Lovely—so feminine and subtle with her mix of clean, sexy and sweet. Very alluring.

“Except when he told me he thought we should both go to school together, I almost shut down. I couldn’t even think about what he was saying, so I had to walk away. We talked about it later after we . . . Well, you know.”

“Made love?”

“Yeah.”

“And how was that? Was it emotional?”

“No.” She tightened her arms around herself and still kept her eyes off him. “And not that it’s any of your business,
Sir
,” she said this word like it was a curse, “but it was stable.”

He exhaled in a slow, steady stream. “That’s another way of saying it was predictable and polite.”

“It was quiet and nice. There’s nothing wrong with that.” Her head finally snapped back at him.

“There’s a reason it’s called vanilla. Not just because it’s safe, but because when a relationship first starts out, everything’s exciting, hot and heavy. Then things die down over time. He touches the woman
there
X many times, she comes. She puts her mouth on him
there
, he gets hard. He pumps inside her quietly. No one says a word, and no one really gets what they want but a meager orgasm they could’ve attained at their own hand. Vanilla gets old real quick, gets bland and it doesn’t even matter if it is still a basic, staple flavor. No one wants to have vanilla every day.”

“It’s boring,” she supplied.

He smiled and leaned into her, his lips at her ear, parting through her hair. “Exactly . . . And I don’t fuck a woman into being bored, nor do I do boring anywhere in my life at all.”

She turned to him, her lips mere inches from his. “You’re right. It was exactly like that.”

“And you don’t want that anymore. It’s not you—never was. I can see the real you, lurking under that calm surface of yours.”

“How do you know?” She blinked, and her soft breath pelted his lips.

He licked his lower one and paused. “Because I know you. When you breathe, it’s like you’re dying to break out of your mold. It’s intoxicating to watch, while simultaneously being my own personal torture, because I always knew you wanted more.”

Her chest expanded, her arms went lax and her hands went to her lap. “We should go in now. They’re probably wondering where we are.”

“Marly knows,” he said.

“Yeah, she does, but I don’t want them suspecting anything.” Her face suddenly paled. “You will behave, right, Sir?”

“I’m not a creepy bastard. I respect their family, but it doesn’t mean I won’t touch you in innocent ways. Now that you’ve told me you’ll give me three weeks, since you’ve added a week to our already agreed two, I have to touch you any chance I can get.”

She smiled, but there was worry in her eyes. “I think as long as you’re discreet, I’d love that.”

“I know you will, and I will, too. I’ll take care of you. I’ll make sure you get through this as painlessly as possible.”

She hugged him and then backed away. “Oh, sorry . . .” She offered a shy smile.

“It’s fine. I’m glad you did that. It’s gonna be hell staying away from you in there.” He kissed her nose, stood and helped her up.

They walked out of the garden, and he whispered, “Such a sweet little thing, you are. I’ll want to eat you instead of the food.”

Her shoulder rose up, and he smirked when she shivered.

He quickened his pace, she followed along and when they got to the house, Marly was right inside, speaking to her mother.

“—and he stands really close to her all the time. Don’t you think that’s wrong? Pono just died!”

Her mother was stirring something on the stove. “He’s friendly. Mark’s a good kid. Pono probably told him to watch out for her. Now stop fussing. Go feed the ducks.”

“But she’s Pono’s!”

“She knows who she is—and right
now
, she doesn’t belong to anyone,” her mother said, tone sharp. “She’s a grown woman, and you need to mind your own business.”

Marly stomped out of the kitchen and didn’t even see them as she headed down the hall. A few seconds later, they heard her door slam shut.

Mark took Jeanie’s hand and led her through the living room into the family room.

Pono’s father was shining something in his hand.

“I’ve brought your guest of honor,” Mark said.

“Oh, hi, Mark . . . Jeanie.” Kueili looked up from his task and smiled. “Lunch should be done soon.”

“Smells great,” she said.

“Yeah, my wife’s always cooking something that makes my pants shrink on me. I haven’t needed a belt in years.” Kueili laughed.

“Is it okay if we take a seat?” she asked.

“Sure, help yourself.” Kueili frowned. “You’re always welcome here—this is your home just as it is ours.” He looked at Mark. “You too.” His face pinched for a second. “You were always there for our son, and we’ll never forget that.”

“And he was there for me. We’ve always been very different from each other, but we respected and admired those unique traits that made us so opposite.” Mark smiled, and Jeanie scooted a little closer, making his belly warm.

“Mark’s good at protecting those he cares about,” she added.

“Yes, he is.” Kueili set down the polishing cloth, stood up and walked over to Jeanie. “And I’m always grateful for that.” He extended his hand out to her—his fist closed tightly over some object. “This is for you.”

She held her hand out, facing up, palm cupped, and he placed something in the center of her hand.

“I thought you should have this,” he said.

Her eyes welled up, and her face contorted. “Pono’s wedding ring? How did you . . . ?”

“I took it. I wasn’t supposed to, but when his mother wasn’t around and I was left alone with his body, I slipped it off his finger. I thought you’d need it.”

“I don’t know what to say.” She gaped at the object in her shaking hand.

“You don’t have to say anything.” Kueili beamed down at her. “All that matters is that you find happiness, and you take hold of it.”

He stared at her for a moment, his eyes misted and then Pono’s dad left the room.

Mark’s hand immediately went to hers.

She ripped it out of his. “You’re trying to take the ring?”

“No.” His brow slanted into a V. “I would never do that. You just went through”—he groaned—“and I wanted to help you feel better.”

“I’m fine, okay? I don’t need you to coddle me.” She stood up and looked like she was going to go after Kueili. “Are you coming?” she asked, craning her head over her shoulder, then looking disappointed. Had she expected him to automatically follow? Obviously, she failed to understand how a Dom operated. He was fine with her showing him the garden, taking his hand initially, but that was about the extent of what he’d allow.

“I’ll be there for you no matter what, but if you ever need space . . .” He gave her a firm look.

“I know,” she said softly. Her right shoulder rolled forward, and she rested her chin on it for a second. “I’m sorry I acted like that. I’m not sure what happened.”

He came to her side and kept his distance. “It’s completely understandable. You don’t need to worry about me.”

“But I will.” She took a shuddering breath. “You protect people you care about, and
I
worry about the people I care about. I can’t stop that part of me any more than you can yours.”

He brushed her hair over her shoulder, his new favorite innocent gesture around her in public, and inhaled her beautiful, spine-melting scent. God, he wanted her wrapped around him right now—to be able to embrace her and free her soul from years’ worth of guilt she never should’ve had.

She handed him the ring, and her eyes softened. “Will you keep this for me?”

He had pockets—she didn’t with her dress and no purse on her. A beat later, he hid it safely away. “Of course I will. I’d be honored to do that.”

“It’s not because I don’t have a place to keep it safe right now—it’s because I trust you, and I’m sorry I snapped a few moments ago.”

His stomach flipped so hard, he had to lean back into his heels to steady himself. God, she had his eyes welling now, too, because he was so touched by her statement and show of faith. He tried to swallow down the thick emotions swirling in his body.

“You’re forgiven, Jeanie,” he said, finally feeling like he’d earned the right to call her that.

She smiled, and her eyes glistened with water like Pono’s dad.

“
Jeanie
—I’m glad you called me that, Sir.”

“I am, too.”

She blinked, and her gaze went down to the floor. The moment was intensely intimate as they stood in the hallway.

“And, just so we’re straight—I’ll only let you worry about me and others unless it’s hurting you, then there’s no way I’m gonna allow it.”

She smiled and looked him in the eye once more. He put his hand on her lower back, and instantly, he felt at home again.

She sighed. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, my sweet little thing.”

She moved with him and whispered, “I don’t know why I like the sound of that, but I do.”

“It’s because you like the sound of us being together.” He led her into the kitchen.

She gave him a questioning look, almost like she was asking him how he knew she wanted to be taken to this exact spot.

“Can we help you with anything, Toloa?” he asked.

“Just set the table, would you?” She pointed at the plates, cups and silverware she had set out on the counter.

“Sure,” Jeanie answered. “Whatever you need.”

Mark maneuvered himself behind her as she went to grab the stack of plates. “
No
, that’s
your
line to
me
.” He ran his fingertip down her spine, then pulled the plates out of her hands.

She gave him a mock pissed off look, fighting off a smile, then grabbed the cups and utensils instead.

“It’s going to be a nice lunch,” Toloa said loudly as they were on their way out of the room.

“It always is when you’re cooking,” Kueili said as he walked into the room.

Jeanie smiled and followed Mark into the dining area.

As soon as the table was set, the family filtered in.

“Oh, Jay—I didn’t know you were here,” Jeanie said to Pono’s younger, eighteen-year-old brother.

He was only two years older than Marly, but he was a foot and a half taller than her. He’d probably be taller than Pono’s six-foot-five in a few months—the kid kept growing and never seemed to stop. Hell, that would mean he’d dwarf Mark as well.

Not many people managed that.

“Yeah, I was outside. I just put all Jeanie’s gifts from the funeral in a box by your car,” Jay told Mark. “Plus—it gets hot in this house—I keep telling Mom to turn the air conditioning on in the summer, but she never listens. At least Pono used to be able to talk her into it, but maybe it’s because he was the favorite.” He nudged his mother.