Knowing You (The Jade Series #2) (25 page)

“We should do this double date thing again,” I say to Harper during dinner as Garret and Sean talk sports.
 

“Totally. I didn’t know those two would get along so well.”

“It was nice of Sean to make us dinner, but next time we should go out so he doesn’t have to do all that work.”

“He doesn’t consider it work. He loves cooking.” She smiles across the table at him. She’s so in love. And he seems to love her, too.
 

After dinner, we play a trivia game and I wow everyone with my knowledge of random trivia. I never mentioned this oddball talent of mine to Garret. He seems both impressed and intrigued. He keeps asking me questions, trying to stump me, but he can’t do it. I know way too much trivia. Even sports trivia.

I don’t admit to Garret that I won the knowledge bowl tournament twice back in high school. I’ll save that fact for another day.
 

When we get back to the dorms, I go up and stay in Garret’s room. We kiss a little in bed, but then he turns and goes to sleep. He’s acted this way all week. It’s like he’s afraid to touch me after what happened. It makes me hate Blake even more. He’s not even around and yet he’s still interfering with my relationship with Garret.

Saturday, Garret and I both study for finals all day. That night, he orders a pizza and we watch movies in his room. I know it seems boring, but it’s one of my favorite date night activities. We sit in his giant bean bag chair and I usually fall asleep in his arms before the last movie ends.

It happens again tonight. I wake up when I hear him putting the movie away.
 

“It’s midnight,” he says, shutting the TV off. “You want to go to sleep?”

“I guess.” Actually I
don’t
want to go to sleep. I want us to be together like we were before. “Can I wear one of your t-shirts? I don’t want to go downstairs and get pajamas.”

“Jade, you don’t have to ask. Just take one.”

I go through his drawer and pick one. Out of the side of my eye I see him watching me undress. He changes, too, then we get into bed.
 

“Goodnight.” He gives me a quick kiss.
 

“Goodnight.” I kiss him back, but linger at his lips hoping he’ll get the hint I want more. He hesitates, then kisses me again, longer this time. But then he pulls away.
 

“Garret, don’t do this to me.”
 

“Do what?” He looks panicked. “What did I do?”

“Nothing. That’s the point. Since this happened you’ll barely kiss me. I feel like you’re punishing me for what happened.”

He sits up. “You know that’s not true. Why would you even say shit like that?”

“Because I feel like you don’t want me now that Blake’s been all over me.”
 

“No! That’s not it at all. I just thought it was too soon. You don’t talk to me about it. I don’t know what’s going on with you.”

“There’s nothing to talk about. It’s over. I need to move on but I can’t when you’re acting like this. When you won’t even touch me.” I take his hand and place it under my shirt, moving it over my skin. “I need you. I need us to be like we were before.”

“Okay,” he says, almost in a whisper. He lies down again and gently kisses me. He’s taking this slow, which is exactly what I need. I don’t admit it to him, but I
am
a little afraid I might freak out when he’s on top of me.

I lift his shirt up until he lets me take it off. Then I take off mine and inch closer until we’re touching. I need to feel his skin against me. We kiss some more but I can tell he’s still unsure if he should go farther.

“Garret, I’m not afraid of this.”

He takes his pajama pants off and tosses them on the floor. I guide his hand to my panties and he slips them off. Then he finally kisses me like he used to. Like he wants this. Like he wants me.
 

We’re lying facing each other. I flip on my back, encouraging him to move to the next stage. My heart is beating really fast because now I’m not sure I want him over me. I can still feel Blake’s heavy body holding me down and I don’t know if I’m ready to feel trapped like that again.
 

“Get on top,” Garret says, as though he could sense my fear.

I sit up straight. “What? No. I can’t. I don’t know what I’m doing.”

He lets out a short laugh as he lies on his back. “You can do it. It’s easy.”

“No. Really. I don’t know what to do.”

He lifts me up and I position myself on top of him. He places his hands securely on my hips, guiding them for me. Soon I’m moving on my own, although I still feel like I’m not doing it right. I know Garret’s been with a lot of girls and I’m sure they all had way more experience than me. It’s not the time to think about that, but my mind goes there anyway until I hear Garret’s voice.
 

“Why did you stop?” he asks.

“Oh. I didn’t mean to.” I was so worried about my lack of experience that I’d stopped moving. I get my hips going again. “I don’t think I’m doing this right.”

He pulls me down for a kiss. “There’s no right way to do it, Jade. Just do what feels good.”

“But I don’t know what that means for you.”

“Don’t worry about me. I’m a guy. It all feels good. And I liked what you were doing so keep doing it.”

I try again, feeling more confident now that he said that.
 

I’m sure it’s not the greatest sex he’s ever had and it’s not the best I’ve had either. But even if it wasn’t the best sex, at least I was with Garret again.
 

As I lie in his arms afterward, an image of Blake flashes in my mind and I pull Garret’s arms even tighter around me.
 

“Are you okay?” he asks.

“Yeah, I’m just sleepy.”

He covers us with the blanket and kisses my forehead. I feel like we’re even closer than before. And part of me even feels safe again.
 

 
Sunday we have our usual pancake breakfast and then study in Garret’s room all day. Thursday is the last official day of class before winter break, but all of our finals are Monday through Wednesday. Most people are gone by Thursday so the professors hold class but nothing’s really planned other than to turn in any remaining assignments, which you can do online. So basically everyone skips Thursday classes, which is what Garret and I plan to do.

“I’m sick of calculus. I need to switch to a different topic.” Garret shuts his book and sets it aside. “Did you finish writing in your English notebook?”
 

I reach into my backpack and pull out the blue notebook, tossing it to him. “You might as well give me yours.”

Garret and I are supposed to read each other’s notebooks and make comments after each entry. We’re supposed to write in them at least a couple times a week, but neither one of us has been doing that. I tend to write a month’s worth of entries at a time but I never know what to write about so it takes me forever. The notebooks have to be turned in this Tuesday, the day of the final, and there has to be a comment on each entry.

I flip through Garret’s notebook. “How am I supposed to write comments about your description of a football game? I don’t even understand what you wrote here.” Garret tends to only write about sports or current events.

He laughs. “Yeah, and yours is so much better.” He holds it up and reads dramatically. “I have a new appreciation for donuts. This morning I had—”

“What’s wrong with that? I was talking about those donuts Charles made. That’s interesting.”

He shakes his head. “It’s not that interesting.” He turns the page. “This one is about your meal at that Mexican place we went to. It’s all food, Jade. That’s all you talk about in here.”

“Well, I didn’t know what else to write about. It’s a stupid assignment. I’m sure it hasn’t helped my writing at all.” I search my backpack for a pen. “Do you ever write in your other notebook?”
 

Months ago, Garret and I decided to get notebooks that would only be seen by the two of us. We got them so we could write down stuff we weren’t comfortable saying out loud.
 

“Maybe,” he says, as he writes comments after my donut entry.
 

“What are you writing in there?” I snatch the notebook from him.

His comments read,
Very descriptive prose. Truly expresses her love of pastries. Makes me want a donut.

I roll my eyes and toss it back at him. “That’s the best you can do?”

He throws my notebook down, pretending to be offended. “You gave me nothing to work with here.”
 

“A good writer can work with anything.”
 

He smiles. “Who says I’m a good writer?”

I keep my eyes on his latest entry, which is about last Monday night’s football game. “You’re good at everything. It’s annoying.”

He comes over and takes the notebook from me, then feels my forehead with the back of his hand. “Are you coming down with something? Because I’m almost positive that was a compliment. And you never give me compliments. You must have a fever. You need to lie down.” He positions some pillows on the floor.
 

“Are you playing doctor now?” I ask, lying back on the pillows.

“I am. So I need you to undress.” He slowly unbuttons my shirt, leaving kisses down my chest and stomach as he works his way down.

“Garret, we have to study.” I smile as he flicks open the button on my jeans and tugs the zipper down.

“We’ve been studying all day. It’s 5 o’clock. We need a break.” He brings his lips back to mine as he reaches around to unhook my bra.

Finally, the old Garret is back. I’m relieved. Part of me wondered if he’d go back to being cautious around me, even after last night.

“I guess I could use a break,” I say as I undo his belt.

He takes it slow again, but this time I make him be on top. And despite a brief moment of panic when I first feel the weight of him, I’m okay. Because I know it’s him and not Blake.
 

Afterward, I get dressed and go to the mirror to tame my crazy sex hair. “We might as well eat dinner now that you’ve broken my concentration.”

“I don’t think you minded.” He comes up behind me and turns me around. “You said I was good at everything, right?”

“I really need to start insulting you again. Your ego is getting way out of control.” He’s still smiling at me, as if waiting for an answer about his performance. But I won’t give him one. He knows he’s good at that.

We go out for dinner to get a break from being cooped up in the dorms all day. Then it’s back to studying. I can’t wait for finals to be over.
 

Monday I get up early and cram one last time before heading to class. Once I get past the nerves, the first final isn’t so bad. I think I might’ve even gotten an A on it.

The rest of the finals that day also go well. I have easier classes on Tuesday, so those exams are no problem. Tuesday afternoon, Garret and I turn in our English journals, which I’m a little worried about because I have no idea what the professor expects. He was so vague about them at the beginning of the semester.
 

On Wednesday morning, I have my biology final, which is my last one. I go to my afternoon class, turn in a paper, and then the professor excuses us early. I can tell she’s anxious for the semester to be over, too.
 

Garret’s last final is at 4 so we meet up afterward to celebrate.
 

“Let’s get out of here,” he says as he collapses on my bed.

“You don’t exactly look ready to go anywhere.” I straddle him and lean down to kiss him.

“I just need a minute to de-stress. That last one sucked. I hate finals.”

“But they’re over! We’re done. Now we have almost four weeks of no studying. No homework. No tests.”

“No Jade.” He holds both my hands and gives me his sad face.
 

“I know, but we’ll talk on the phone all the time.”
 

“Why won’t you let me come to Iowa and see you over break?”

“Because it’s too weird with Frank and Ryan there. And there’s no room at Frank’s house for you to stay.”

“I’ll stay at a hotel.”

“Yeah, great. And then they’ll think we’re doing it whenever I’m there to see you.”

“I think they know we’re doing it. We’ve been going out for months.”

“Then it would be even more weird for you to be there. I try to keep the two of them out of my love life.”

“Four weeks is too long to go without seeing you. And what am I going to do on New Year’s Eve? Can’t you come back after Christmas?”

“I have to work around Ryan’s schedule. You know that.”
 

“Jade, I can’t go four weeks without kissing you. It’s not possible.”

“Oh really?” I lean down again, hovering over his face.

“Yes. In fact, I’m almost certain it’s bad for my health.” He gives me a serious look. “Aren’t you concerned about my health, Jade?”
 

“I am, but I think you’ll be okay.”