Kwik Krimes
Authors: Otto Penzler
Tags: #Mystery, #Detective, #Hard-Boiled, #anthology, #Crime
The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.
Text copyright © 2013 Otto Penzler
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced, or stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without express written permission of the publisher.
Published by Thomas & Mercer
PO Box 400818
Las Vegas, NV 89140
ISBN-13: 9781612183008
ISBN-10: 161218300X
Library of Congress Control Number: 2013900001
“Lambs of God” © 2013 by Patricia Abbott
“The Day After Tomorrow” © 2013 by Winterfall LLC
“Hansel, Gretel, and the Witch” © 2013 by Gary Alexander
“Preparations” © 2013 by Tasha Alexander
“Thunder at the Horizon” © 2013 by Winterfall LLC
“Fortune” © 2013 by Erik Arneson
“One Person’s Clutter” © 2013 by Albert Ashforth
“Fightin’ Man” © 2013 by N.J. Ayres
“Break-In” © 2013 by Eric Beetner
“Once Upon a Time in the Woods” © 2013 by Raymond Benson
“Job Opening” © 2013 by John Billheimer
“The Chair” © 2013 by Peter Blauner
“Sucker’s Bet” © 2013 by James O. Born
“Entitled” © 2013 by Rhys Bowen
“Get the Confession” © 2013 by Jay Brandon
“Piece of Cake” © 2013 by R. Thomas Brown
“Thug City” © 2013 by Ken Bruen
“What You Wish For” © 2013 by C.E. Lawrence
“Where’s Dad?” © 2013 by Peter Cannon
“They’ll Call Me Whistlin’ Pete” © 2013 by Chuck Caruso
“The Bunny” © 2013 by William E. Chambers
“The Banyan Tree” © 2013 by Joe Clifford
“Acknowledgments” © 2013 by Christopher Coake
“The Terminal” © 2013 by Reed Farrel Coleman
“The Ant Who Carried Stones” © 2013 by David Corbett
“Watch the Skies” © 2013 by Bill Crider
“A Foolproof Plan” © 2013 by Bruce DeSilva
“A Tree in Texas” © 2013 by Joe Dereske
“After” © 2013 by Tyler Dilts
“Next Right” © 2013 by Sean Doolittle
“The Professional” © 2013 by Brendan DuBois
“The Promise” © 2013 by Warren C. Easley
“A Student of History” © 2013 by Gerald Elias
“Wolfe on the Roof” © 2013 by Loren D. Estleman
“Hit Me” © 2013 by Christa Faust
“Beneath the Bridge” © 2013 by Lyndsay Faye
“The Girl Who Loved French Films” © 2013 by Christopher Fowler
“David to Goliath” © 2013 by Matthew C. Funk
“The One Who Got Away” by Jim Fusilli
“Halloween” © 2013 by Carolina Garcia-Aguilera
“The Old Gal” © 2013 by Gregory Gibson
“Necessity” © 2013 by Ed Gorman
“Lost Cat” © 2013 by Ron Goulart
“Sunday in the Park with Sarge” © 2013 by Chris Grabenstein
“Nails” © 2013 by James Grady
“Lye” © 2013 by Derek Haas
“The Pledge” © 2013 by Parnell Hall
“Games People Play” © 2013 by Bruce Harris
“Built with Love” © 2013 by Jamie Harrison
“The Gun with Two Triggers” © 2013 by Rob W. Hart
“Blindfolded” © 2013 by John Harvin
“Present Company” © 2013 by Michael Haynes
“The Einstein Divorce” © 2013 by Gar Anthony Haywood
“Fringe Benefit” © 2013 by Jeremiah Healy
“Wyolene” © 2013 by Sam Hill
“AKA” © 2013 by Steve Hockensmith
“Hijackers” © 2013 by Multimedia Threat, Inc.
“Full Bloom” © 2013 by Wendy Hornsby
“The Blackmailers Wanted More” © 2013 by David Housewright
“Nothing Left to Lose” © 2013 by Dana C. Kabel
“In the Hours Before Her Death” © 2013 by Michael Kardos
“Arson and Old Luce” © 2013 by Marvin Kaye
“Daddy’s Girl” © 2013 by Nicola Kennington
“Countdown” © 2013 by John Kenyon
“ATM: Get Cash Inside” © 2013 by Jonathon King
“Testimony” © 2013 by Amalgamated Metaphor
“Losing My Religion” © 2013 by K.A. Laity
“The Tenth Notch” © 2013 by Jon Land
“The Ear” © 2013 by Joe R. Lansdale
“The Imperfect Detective” © 2013 by Janice Law
“Michael Coalhouse” © 2013 by Adrian McKinty
“Dog” © 2013 by Charles McLeod
“Slow Roasted” © 2013 by M.B. Manteufel
“Saturday Night Live” © 2013 by Paul Newman
“Dealer Sets Price” © 2013 by Tom Pitts
“Death Buys a Burger” © 2013 by Stephen D. Rogers
“Hail, Tiger!” © 2013 by Cindy Rosmus
“Fall Guy” © 2013 by Jim Spry
“Death by Sobriety” © 2013 by J.M. Vogel
“A Russian Storm” © 2013 by Andrew Waters
“Hell’s Belle” © 2013 by Jim J. Wilsky
For Ian Kern
With thanks for making this book better.
And for the amazing job you do every day.
THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW Richard Aleas
HANSEL, GRETEL, AND THE WITCH Gary Alexander
THUNDER AT THE HORIZON Charles Ardai
ONE PERSON’S CLUTTER Albert Ashforth
ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE WOODS Raymond Benson
GET THE CONFESSION Jay Brandon
WHAT YOU WISH FOR C.E. Lawrence
THEY’LL CALL ME WHISTLIN’ PETE Chuck Caruso
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS Christopher Coake
THE TERMINAL Reed Farrel Coleman
THE ANT WHO CARRIED STONES David Corbett
A FOOLPROOF PLAN Bruce DeSilva
THE PROFESSIONAL Brendan DuBois
A STUDENT OF HISTORY Gerald Elias
WOLFE ON THE ROOF Loren D. Estleman
BENEATH THE BRIDGE Lyndsay Faye
THE GIRL WHO LOVED FRENCH FILMS Christopher Fowler
DAVID TO GOLIATH Matthew C. Funk
THE ONE WHO GOT AWAY Jim Fusilli
HALLOWEEN Carolina Garcia-Aguilera
SUNDAY IN THE PARK WITH SARGE Chris Grabenstein
GAMES PEOPLE PLAY Bruce Harris
BUILT WITH LOVE Jamie Harrison
THE GUN WITH TWO TRIGGERS Rob W. Hart
PRESENT COMPANY Michael Haynes
THE EINSTEIN DIVORCE Gar Anthony Haywood
THE BLACKMAILERS WANTED MORE David Housewright
NOTHING LEFT TO LOSE Dana C. Kabel
IN THE HOURS BEFORE HER DEATH Michael Kardos
ARSON AND OLD LUCE Marvin Kaye
DADDY’S GIRL Nicola Kennington
ATM: GET CASH INSIDE Jonathon King
THE IMPERFECT DETECTIVE Janice Law
MICHAEL COALHOUSE Adrian McKinty
SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE Paul Newman
DEATH BUYS A BURGER Stephen D. Rogers
I
t doesn’t take very long to commit a crime. A bullet will travel the distance between the shooter and the victim in a very small fraction of a second. The sudden stroke of a knife doesn’t take much longer. Bank robbers—those who aren’t complete imbeciles—know that there is a two-minute rule: from the time they start a robbery, the maximum time they have to take what they came for and get away before the police arrive is 120 seconds flat.
It takes longer to tell the story of a crime. Mystery novels generally run about three hundred pages, though many are much longer and quite a few are noticeably less than that.
The good ones are complex. Not only is the crime described, but there is often analysis of how it was done, why, where, and when. The perpetrators are usually described, briefly as to physical appearance, and in greater depth as to psychological makeup, particularly in recent years when detective stories became less a puzzle to determine
who
did it but more an examination of
why
the crime was done. Other major characters are also introduced to the reader: the victim, the detective (professional, private, or amateur), and the other players who serve the valuable function of throwing readers off the path to a final understanding of exactly what happened and why.
The great Golden Age writer of “impossible crime” stories, John Dickson Carr, maintained that the short story was the proper form of the mystery story—that the crime and its solution could easily be presented in twenty or thirty pages, and the rest was just padding.
So how long must a novel be to be called a novel? Too short and it’s called a novella. Too long and it’s called a bore and it doesn’t get published, the occasional exceptions aside.
And how long must a short story be to tell the story it wants to tell? I have commissioned many stories over the years for a variety of anthologies and other publishing projects. Authors customarily have three questions: How long do you want it, when do you want it, and how much are you paying? The answers to the latter two questions have various answers, but to the first I usually suggest a “normal” length of twenty to thirty pages. Actually, being a smart mouth, what I usually say is, “Start the story, tell the story, and when you’ve finished telling it, stop writing.”
As you already know, this collection is different from other anthologies. As the series editor of the annual
Best American Mystery Stories of the Year
, I have had brought to my attention over the past several years that a lot of interesting fiction is being published in various e-zines—electronic magazines with material available exclusively online.