Kyle’s Bargain (17 page)

Their lovemaking was equally swift and fierce that night. No
joking or fooling around, little talk, few preliminaries. He stroked and licked
her into readiness then a little beyond until she squirmed and writhed with
tension while begging him to enter her.

Finally he got between her legs and stretched out over her.
When he pushed inside, it was rough and hard, but she was ready for him and
needing his ferocity. He ran his hands over her face and through her hair while
he rammed home repeatedly inside her. The wild tension screamed through her
with each jolt of him against the sensitive place within. They rode it together,
a wild roller coaster ride driving them to the top of the hill then crashing
down in a simultaneous orgasm that left them both drained, sucked dry and at
peace.

He rolled off to the side and pulled her against him,
wrapping his arms around her. He sighed and kissed her hair several times. “I
think we’ll leave the rest for…tomorrow,” he said around a yawn.

“Fine with me.” Meg could barely move her lips enough to
form the words of the reply. If he even heard it he gave no indication, but she
was asleep in the next instant anyway.

She roused the next morning with the feel of a masculine
chest rising and falling lightly beneath her cheek and hair tickling her nose.
His breath moved in and out in soft, regular rhythm. Meg lifted herself on one
elbow, moving slowly to avoid disturbing him. She watched him sleep for a few
moments, delighted with the opportunity to study his features in a way that
wouldn’t be comfortable were he awake.

Damn, but he was handsome. A sensual mouth and nicely shaped
nose softened the hard angle of his jaw, which looked even harsher with the
dark stubble of morning beard. It kept the classic cheekbones from making his
face too pretty, though the sweep of lashes just above them softened the lines
again. She wanted to trace those features with a finger to help her memorize
them.

While she watched, his lids rose. For a second his stare was
foggy and blank, but then he focused on her face. The smile that spread across
his features turned them from just handsome to devastating, showing the adorable
creases that bracketed his mouth and lighting his blue eyes with an inviting
sparkle.

“Roll over,” she said to him. “I owe you a massage.”

He murmured something she couldn’t understand and did as she
requested. Meg rested her hands on his shoulders. Since he’d just awoken, she
found little tension in the muscles to try to soothe and smooth out. But she
actually wanted to provoke the opposite effect anyway, so she slid her hands
slowly, caressingly down his spine to his buttocks and lingered there for a few
moments, exploring the fine, muscular planes.

A jerk and a sharp breath testified to the success of her
efforts. He let out a short groan when she ventured down farther, rubbing along
the tops of his thighs. The exciting contrast between the smooth skin of his
butt and the hairier flesh below tempted her to explore even more, to find out
what other interesting variations awaited.

His legs splayed out slightly, giving her access to the
insides of his thighs. He twitched and groaned again when the tip of one finger
brushed his balls.

“Most unusual massage I’ve ever—” He sucked in a sharp
breath as she cupped his sac and kneaded gently. When she worked a couple of
fingers upward along the smooth shaft of his cock, he huffed, and then said,
“Another minute of this and the sheets are going to get sticky.” He turned over
abruptly, sat up, grabbed a condom from the drawer and then pulled her down,
rolling again until she was stretched out beneath him.

“It would be a waste,” she agreed as he pushed into her, taking
it slow until he realized she was ready for him. He tried to keep it sedate and
easy, but she kept pace and soon he was pumping in and out in deep, hard
strokes that grew rapidly faster.

Meg lost herself in the feel and taste and aroma of Kyle, in
the rhythm of their pounding together and the sound of their panting breaths
joining in unison. The fabulous tension building inside was an extension of the
sublimity of their union, a reaching for the stars together.

The tension stretched so tight it was a slender thread
holding her down, away from them. A thread that couldn’t hold. Kyle plunged one
more time, breaking the tie and sending her roaring and jolting into an
explosion of pleasure she couldn’t contain. Afterward they lay together, half
dozing.

In the half-light of morning, sated and calm, with his skin
warm against hers, his chest hair tickling her cheek and his man scent
surrounding her, she admitted the thing she’d been fighting for days now, the
thing she didn’t want to happen, didn’t want to face.

She was in love with the man.

It was a bad idea, a terrible idea. She had so many doubts
about him and what he wanted from her, the kind of relationship he wanted, the
relationship with his friends. And there was Laurie. She’d always be a problem
in a relationship. Meg had no business falling in love. And especially not with
Kyle Harrison.

They finally had to get up and face the day. Meg didn’t
expect it to be a good one. She was going to be late getting back, which would
put Laurie in a bad mood all by itself.

On the drive to her apartment, she asked Kyle, “Your friends
brought up an interesting question last night about how to integrate the
interest in dominance and submission into their daily lives. You want it too.”

He didn’t say anything for a moment or two. Probably it
caught him by surprise. He sighed. “Yes, it’s a concern for me. It may not make
or break a relationship, but it’s important enough to me that it needs to be
factored in.” He glanced over at her while he stopped at a traffic light. “You
and I, we have that already, to some extent.”

“Our bargain?”

He nodded.

“It runs out in a few weeks.”

“I know. It’s been on my mind. Do you want it to end?” he
asked.

“Depends what you mean by ‘it’. My punishment for kidnapping
and coercing you? Yes, but only because I’d like to put that behind me, to feel
like it was atoned for and you didn’t hold it against me.”

“I don’t.”

“There is a part of me that likes being…obliged to you in
that way, though,” she admitted.

“It doesn’t have to be a situation where you’re being
punished for a particular crime or misdemeanor,” he said. “What Lindy said last
night goes for you too. You’re not the kind of person to be doing silly or
stupid things just so we have an excuse.”

“I’m capable of doing enough silly or stupid things on my
own to keep you busy.”

“No, you’re not. You make mistakes occasionally like the
rest of us. Maybe a few more because you’re a bit on the impulsive side. But
you’re not at all stupid and your sense of responsibility is almost too well
developed to let you do anything really foolish.”

“Might be,” she admitted. She’d never thought of herself as
having an overdeveloped sense of responsibility before, but she had to admit
there might be some truth to it. “So, do you have any ideas?”

“You don’t want our relationship to end?” he asked.

“No. Do you?”

“No. Not at all.” He took a deep breath. “Meg… You’ve become
important to me. To my life. And, yes, I have an idea. Maybe a solution for
Rick and Lindy too. This simple. We designate a certain time, maybe a day once
a week, or maybe less, to say that your body belongs to me. Completely,
totally. I can do anything I want or ask you to do anything I want and I’d
expect obedience. Of course there would have to be some boundaries and we’d
have to discuss those in advance. Outside of that, though, I would still expect
to propose penalties when you do something wrong.”

“That… It’s a bit frightening, but I think that’s part of
the point. Part of what makes it work.”

“Something else, though, and this might even be harder. I’ve
shared…a lot with Rick and to a lesser extent Lindy. They’ve been extremely
generous to me. I can’t—I don’t want to cut off the sharing we’ve had. It’s
been intimate and sometimes wonderful and it’s important to all of us, I think.”

“And you’d want me to tolerate it when you go off to
do…whatever with them? Or share in it as well?”

His eyes widened. “Share in it.” He stopped to draw a
breath. “Definitely share in it. If you weren’t comfortable with it, I wouldn’t
be going off to do anything with them while we’re together. That would be
cheating on you.”

“I have to think about that. I liked Rick and Lindy, but
they’re strangers to me and the kind of things I think you’re talking about…”
She sighed. “I don’t know.”

“If you did it, you’d be doing it solely for me, at least
initially, because I asked it of you.”

“It would be part of my submission to you?”

“Right.”

“You know…” She looked at him, studying the clean lines of
his profile as he pulled into the parking lot of her apartment complex and
searched for a parking spot. “It might just work that way. Knowing I was doing
it purely because you wanted it. Demanded it.”

“I wouldn’t demand it if you couldn’t deal with it.”

“While conversely, I could probably deal with it just
because you did demand it.”

He laughed, showing off the dimples and the sparkle in his
blue eyes as he parked and put the car in neutral. Meg collected her purse and
started to get out, but he leaned over, pulled her toward him and kissed her
thoroughly before releasing her. “I’ll give you a call later.”

As she got out, her heart twisted. She hated leaving his
company. She already missed him before he even drove away.

As anticipated, Laurie was already up and in bad temper. But
the smoke wasn’t all coming out her sister’s ears. Some of it floated out from
the kitchen.

Meg dropped her purse and ran to the counter where the smoke
originated. It gushed from the toaster, which currently held a charred black
lump of what had probably once been bread. She unplugged the appliance and
pushed it back from the wall to let it cool off.

She turned to face her sister. “What happened?”

Laurie pooched out her lower lip in a masterfully sulky
pout. “You were late and I was hungry. I did something to the toaster and the
bread all burned up. I did push the thing up to stop it when it started making
smoke.”

“Why did you mess around with it? You know it’s on the right
setting for toast. All you had to do was put the bread in, push the bar down
and wait for it to pop up again.”

The girl shrugged. “It was too light the first time I
tried.”

“You’ve been eating toast that way for years. What’s
changed?” It was a pointless argument and Meg knew it. What had changed was her
relationship with Kyle. Still, her own temper needed some venting and Laurie needed
to realize she’d done something wrong.

“I don’t know. I just wanted something different and I
wasn’t sure if you’d come back.”

Oh hell
. She might be using it without even realizing
it, but Laurie did still have abandonment fears from their parents’ sudden
death. Meg reached for her sister and pulled her toward her.

“Laurie, listen to me. I will never walk away and leave you
completely on your own. Believe that. Believe me.”

Laurie put her arms around Meg and hugged her. A damp spot
formed on her arm where the girl rubbed her face. Meg sighed. Good to make
Laurie feel more secure. But would it cost Meg the man she loved and a chance
at the happiness of a wonderful relationship? She truly hoped Kyle had meant
what he’d said about the idiocy of the men who’d put her off because of Laurie.
But he could have no real idea what it might be like and the price they’d both
have to pay to be together.

When they got to the store Monday morning, the trucks and
bulldozers already roared in a frenzy of dust-rousing activity. It appeared
they’d finished clearing and grading the land and had begun to dig foundations
since trenches rent the bare dirt with piles of soil accumulating to the sides.
Laurie sat and watched until time for her to leave for school.

Meg worked through it for the next couple of hours. She’d
grown accustomed to blocking out all noises but the ping of the bell over the
door announcing a customer’s entry.

When the chime sounded, she looked up from her laptop, a bit
surprised by the interruption. It was rare to have customers on Monday morning.

“Hey,” Carla said. “Got some crullers this morning, more
than me and Danny can eat. Saved you a couple.” She held out a bag. “One for
you, one you can save for Laurie for later.”

“Thanks! Coffee?” Meg had already turned around to rinse out
the pot for a fresh batch, knowing Carla would accept.

“Sure,” the woman answered. “So it looks like we’re not
going to get booted out on our rear ends. At least not right away.”

“Maybe. Kyle’s still having trouble getting the financing
for the revised plan lined up, though, so don’t count any chickens yet.”

“‘Kyle’ it is now? Is this getting interesting?”

Meg shrugged. “We’ve dated, if that’s what you mean.”

“I knew that. Laurie stopped by a couple of days ago and
said you were going out with ‘Mr. Harrison’ again.”

“And she wasn’t happy about it.”

“No. She seemed a bit put out. Feeling neglected?”

Meg poured water into the reservoir and switched the
coffeemaker on. She rinsed out her cup and found the guest one before she
answered. “I think it’s more like jealous than neglected. She’s had me pretty
much all to herself up to now. I’ve hardly ever dated and no relationship has
lasted beyond a guy’s learning about Laurie and realizing what it would mean.”

“Obviously Kyle knows about her.”

“Knows about her. I doubt he totally understands what it
could mean. He’s never seen her in full tantrum. And I’m sure he couldn’t
realize just how much she limits me.”

“Probably not. It’s like being a parent. You just don’t
understand the demands until you’re there.”

Meg smiled but she had a feeling it showed an ironic twist.
“I’m not really a parent. Except that I am. Maybe I’ll never know what some
part of it feels like. Like holding my own baby.” She drew a deep breath and
shook herself. “Damn. Descending into self-pity. Sorry about that.”

“Hey, hon,” Carla said. “This is me. The person who
understands.”

“Yeah.” Meg sighed. “I don’t know what I’d do without you
letting me vent and gripe to you.”

“Two-way street, hon. God knows I’ve done my share of whining
and bitching to you too. And you listen like a trouper.”

“I don’t mind. It helps to share our troubles.”

“Right. So I hope you’ll listen to some advice, ’cause it’s
important and it’s from hard experience. Maybe it’s a good thing for Laurie to
learn to share you. I’m not sure it’s good for either of you if you sacrifice
your whole life to her. You gotta have a life of your own. You’re too young to
be so completely tied up with her. Balance. You gotta find a balance.”

Meg sighed again, more heavily. “I wish it was that easy.
I’m starting to feel like it’s tearing me in two. What I want with Kyle. What I
owe to Laurie.”

“I sure as hell hope you can find some middling area,” Carla
said. “I’d hate to see you have to make that kind of choice.” The woman picked
up the doughnut, looked at it but put it down without taking a bite. “I didn’t
even know I was making a choice when I made it.”

“Looking back…would you have made a different one?”

“Hard to say about that. But I sure as hell would have
thought about it longer and harder.” She looked up at Meg with devastating
sadness shadowing her expression. “You’re a lot younger than I was, though. And
I know you feel like you owe it to her and to your parents to give everything
you can to your sister. But think about this. What if you do sacrifice
everything else in your life and a few years down the road you realize she
didn’t need you quite as much as you thought, but it’s too late to go back?
Then it’s hard to keep from being bitter and resentful. You might even have to
fight to keep from taking it out on her. That’s why you gotta think about it
long and hard. And see if there isn’t some kind of solution that means you
don’t have to give up everything.”

And then, as though embarrassed at how much personal stuff
she’d revealed, Carla brushed an invisible spot of her shirt, and said, “Dang,
this dust is getting on
everything
,” effectively changing the topic of
conversation. She talked about the construction across the street and what a
pain the dirt was, how it was floating in everywhere and customers kept
tracking it all over the carpet.

The talk left Meg with a lot to think about once the woman
had departed. Was there any way to find a balance? Laurie needed her and Meg
had made a commitment to supervise her sister. Kyle wanted her body, her time
and her company, her sexual responsiveness and the submission in particular.
Could there be any way to handle both? With only so many waking hours in a day
and so many days per week, she had a hard time seeing how she could manage to
fulfill both sets of needs.

On Thursday Kyle invited her out to dinner. She braved
another tantrum from Laurie and went with him. His mood wasn’t exactly
cheerful, either, though he didn’t throw any fits or even say anything about
it. If she hadn’t come to know him reasonably well over the past few weeks she
might not have noticed the occasional distraction while they talked about
Laurie’s bad mood, traffic at the store and the advances in the construction.

When he appeared unwilling to admit anything was wrong, she
finally asked, “What’s bothering you?”

He met her eyes for a moment. Surprise briefly chased away
the shadows of worry before the wry grin took over. “Sorry. Just a bit of
personal drama. It’s point of no return for the changes to the project plan. We
finished clearing and grading and began digging foundations. I can’t go back to
the original plan now without spending a bunch more money.”

“Any success with new funding?”

He looked down at the wine swirling in his glass. “Not yet.
Got a couple more turn downs. I still have several applications out.”

Meg studied his face, which he kept carefully blank. He was
worried and didn’t want her to know it. There might be something more going on
too, something causing him conflict. “Are you having second thoughts about
making the changes to the plan?”

His head jerked up, giving her a view of the shadows of
worry, doubt and even anger in the depths of his blue eyes before he lowered
his lids. When he raised them again, he’d schooled his expression back to wry
humor. “I wouldn’t be human if I didn’t have some second thoughts. But I’m not
going to backtrack.”

“What happens if you can’t get the financing? You have any
other possibilities?”

He tried to keep his face neutral. She could almost see the
effort, but beneath it she could also see the emotions he wanted to hide. “I’m
working on some things.”