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Authors: L. Divine

BOOK: Lady J
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“Because my legs were tired. But, you wouldn't know anything about that since your man makes sure you always have a ride, and a car when you can drive,” I say, a little more sour than necessary. But she's really got her nerve this time.
“Put the claws away, ladies,” Nellie says, a little too jovial for the moment. “We can continue this lively discussion at break.”
“I can't. I have too much work to do,” I say, heading to my Spanish class and leaving them to go their separate ways. At least we don't have any classes together. I couldn't concentrate on my schoolwork if I had them up in my grill on a daily basis.
“Well then, we'll catch up after school at Nigel's practice. Since it's an early day, Mickey can give you a ride home, isn't that right, girl?” Nellie says, but that doesn't look like what Mickey was thinking at all. How can Mickey seriously hate on me when she's juggling two dudes herself? What the hell is up with the hypocrites this morning? When it's too close to home, the truth can get mighty uncomfortable.
“Yeah, whatever,” Mickey says, folding her arms across her chest and revealing her freshly airbrushed nails, gold hoop charms and all. Must be nice to have a dude's bankroll to count on.
“Okay, it's settled. We're hanging after school, no excuses,” Nellie chimes, again trying to lighten the mood, but I'm not feelin' it.
“Fine. I've got to go,” I say. The last thing I want to do is sit up at Nigel's practice after school when I could use the time to study or nap or do something more productive than talk about Rah and Jeremy. Honestly, neither of them can give me what I want or need right now, so the topic is moot. But I know my girls don't see it that way, and I'm sure even Chance and Nigel will add their two cents if they have the opportunity.
Now that Rah has allies who were my friends first, I feel like Rah attends our school. Now, let Rah do some shady shit and we'll see how far the loyalty of our so-called friends-in-common extends. His ears must be burning because here he is, texting me good morning. If I didn't love this boy so much, I wonder if we'd still be friends.
 
The afternoon sun has melted away the fog and is shining brightly, giving me plenty of much needed warmth. My attitude always improves when the weather's good. And I needed the adjustment, especially to deal with my girls giving me heat about Jeremy. I know they mean well, but really. Enough is enough. I didn't even speak to him in third period, although he tried to pass me notes during our boring movie. But I've had enough of him for one day.
“You need to let that white boy know that y'all can't be friends anymore. That's what you need to do,” Mickey says, sipping on her grape Crush while Nigel and the other football players work it out on the field. We're sitting in the middle of the bleachers where the sun is shining its brightest and providing us with some much needed warmth on this cool afternoon. The day went by fast because of the teacher's meetings being held today, which gives us an extra hour and a half of kick-it time. I have to make it a point to holla at Ms. Toni tomorrow. It seems like forever since we caught up and I know she's already gotten wind of my breakup with Jeremy.
“Now, why can't they be friends?” Nellie says, looking around for Chance. I know she'd never admit it, but the girl is sprung and I can see how. Chance has always had her back and has liked her even longer. All it took was for Nellie to come around and now they can love without limit. “So, he's made a few mistakes. That's what friends do, they mess up and they forgive,” she says, reflecting more on our friendship than on Jeremy and me.
“Yes, but they aren't homies. Like I said before, dudes can't be friends with girls. It ain't natural. Especially not after y'all have made out,” Mickey says, smiling as I remember when Jeremy first kissed me at the beach. Yeah, that wasn't a very friendly interaction at all.
“Yeah, even kissing can be deadly to a friendship,” I say, still strolling down memory lane. I remember my first kiss with Rah. After that, I was sprung. Same thing happened with this dude named Donovan. I was his first kiss and we never went back to being friends. And now Jeremy.
“What are you talking about? Nigel and Jayd are just friends, Chance and Jayd are just friends and I'm sure there are better examples, too,” Nellie says, sounding as optimistic as ever. But I'm siding with Mickey on this one, even if I hate to admit it.
“I think you're right, Mickey, but not because I don't think Jeremy and I can just be friends,” I say, snacking on my leftover chips from lunch. “I don't think I can ever get over the way he gave up the rights to his baby, especially when he thinks Tania is Satan's love child. How could he allow his baby to be raised by her without at least knowing who her husband-to-be is?”
“Yeah, that is messed up,” Nellie says. And I know she feels me. Her daddy is actually her stepfather. But he's also the only father she's ever known and that must bother her a little.
“I hate to burst your bubble, but I'm just being real. I can't have any respect for the way he's treating Tania, and without respect there's no true friendship, is there?” I say as I send Rah a quick text before he sends out an APB. We got that straight last night: always respond to each other's messages in a timely manner.
“You've got that right. I'm just glad you see it my way,” Mickey says, stabbing Nellie's ego with her words. So, how's Rah?” she says, reading my mind.
“He's cool. He caught up with me yesterday after school,” I say, leaving out the details of my dramatic evening. I hope today is much less eventful when I get home.
“Now see, that's a real friend for your ass,” Mickey says, finishing the last of her soda before moving on to her pork rinds. She must've brought those with her because I know they don't sell them up here. Just then, we hear a car with heavy bass coming down the street parallel to the football field. Pulling into the parking slots at the top of the stadium, we see Mickey's man getting out of his black Monte Carlo and heading our way. Oh shit, this can't be good.
“What the hell is he doing here?” Nellie says, alarmed at the possibility of another fight, and I feel her. The last thing I want to do is get involved with Mickey's man and their arguing, especially not with Nigel here. That's more than I can handle today.
“Mickey,” her man shouts from the top of the bleachers. In navy blue Dickies and a white wife-beater, he looks like a straight thug. Half of his hair braided and the other half is in a ponytail, and he looks pissed. “Get up here, now.”
“Why you gotta yell at me like that?” Mickey says, simultaneously talking shit and gathering her stuff up. She knows better than to give him too much lip in public.
“Because you're obviously deaf since you didn't hear your phone ringing. I've been calling and texting you for the past hour. I know you got out early,” he says as she meets him halfway up the stairs. I look toward the field to see Nigel staring up at us, ready to charge like a bull seeing red. Luckily the coach has them running drills, so he can't leave the field right now unless he wants to miss playing in Friday's game. But if something goes down between Mickey and her man, I know he'll be up there in a flash, game or no game.
“I'm sorry, baby. I've been talking to my girls,” she says, only telling half the truth. Before she sat down with us, she and Nigel went to the car to kick it. I'm sure she turned her phone off then and forgot all about it, putting her man's jealousy radar on red alert.
“You were supposed to finish braiding my hair today,” he says. Man, she's got him in check. How does she do it?
“Oh, my bad. I got you when I get home, boo,” Mickey says, gently touching his half-done do. I really need to get my notebook out and take notes on this girl's pimping abilities, even if the pimping goes both ways in their relationship.
“And when will that be?” he says, grabbing her around the waist and staking his claim for all to see, including Nigel, who's just tripped in midair over nothing, falling to the ground. “The football players up here suck. Y'all need to come to Compton. That's where all the real niggas play.”
“They don't all suck,” Mickey says, instinctively defending her other man. “I'll be home right after I drop Jayd and Nellie off, okay baby?”
“No, now. I want you to finish braiding me outside before my curfew's up in a couple of hours. I got some business to take care of and I need to be on the porch to handle it,” he says, glancing our way, which lets me know it's the same type of business that probably got his electronic ankle bracelet put on in the first place. “I'm sure your girls can find another way home.”
“Okay, baby. I'm right behind you,” Mickey says as he heads back to his car, embarrassed at how much control her man actually has over her. Not me. I'll never be at a dude's beck and call like this girl is. I don't know which fear for her is worse: that he'll cut her allowance off or that he'll whip her ass. Either way, my girl's getting played and she's allowing the game to continue.
“And how are we supposed to get home?” Nellie says, pissed to high heaven. Lucky for her Chance is coming our way. I'm sure he'll be glad to give her a ride when she's ready to go. If I leave now I can still catch my regular buses and leave all of this drama behind.
“And on that note, I'm out,” I say, grabbing my backpack and heading back up to where Mickey's man is parked. I knew I should've stayed to myself all day long instead of kicking it down here.
“Jayd, wait,” Nellie says, grabbing my arm as Mickey looks from me to her. She knows her man's patience is gone and she's taking too long to get back to him. He'll probably give her a ride to her car just to make sure she leaves right away. There's a thin line between chivalry and possessiveness and her man crossed it a long time ago.
“Hey ladies,” Chance says, finally making it up the steep bleachers and immediately sensing the tension.
Before we can answer, Mickey rudely interjects, “Can you take them home?”
Chance looks at each of us and stops short of questioning when he sees Mickey's man waiting for her. He doesn't know who he his, but Chance senses he's part of our problem.
“I don't need a ride. I'm good,” I say, removing my arm from Nellie's light grasp and continuing my trek. A Williams woman always has an exit plan.
“Are you sure?” Chance says. Even though I know he would give me a ride, he also wants to be alone with his new girl and I want to be alone—period.
“Very,” I say. I just want to go home, eat something good and get some work done. I've had more than enough social interaction for the week and it's only Tuesday. Luckily, I have AP meetings at both of my breaks tomorrow and I'll be practicing for my audition in my free time on Thursday. At least the next couple of days will be slightly more peaceful, I hope.
4
Esmeralda
“I'm the type of girl that'll look you dead in the eye/ I'm real as they come if you don't know why I'm fly-y-y-y-y.”
—TIMBALAND FT. NELLY FURTADO AND JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE
 
 
A
fter my long week, going to my mom's this afternoon will be such a relief. Between my meetings and friends, I haven't had much time to myself. I think every relationship needs a break, including the ones that I have with my girls. Sometimes their issues are too much for me to handle, along with my own madness. I need a break from school in general, and Thanksgiving is in a few weeks. That'll be a good time to recuperate from this place, even if it's only a couple of extra days off.
Before I head out the back door to get to the bus stop, I notice Bryan coming in from his night job at the radio station. He's a very talented DJ and I admire him for keeping his volunteer gig, even if it means he has to work straight through the next day at Miracle Market. Speaking of which, he got paid yesterday, so he should have my money.
“What's up, Jayd?” he mumbles, grabbing the cornflakes from the top of the refrigerator and eating straight from the box, dropping crumbs onto the floor. I know he's tired, but other people live here too.
“You have no respect,” I say, snatching the cereal from him and putting it on the table. “Get a bowl.”
“Ok, lil mama,” he says. I know I sound just like her, but she's right. This house would be a pigsty if we weren't here to pick up the slack. I get tired of cleaning up after these fools. “Oh, I got something for you,” he says, reaching in his back pocket and taking out his wallet. So he didn't forget. How did he end up being the only one of my uncles who isn't completely trifling?
“This is a twenty,” I say, before taking the crisp bill from his hand. Even when he's smoking he doesn't make mistakes with his money.
“I know that,” he says, retrieving the cereal from the table and again pouring it directly into his mouth. He's hopeless. “You're right. Your uncle should break you off a piece sometimes,” he says, exiting the kitchen and heading to bed for the forty-five minutes he has left before he has to be at work.
“Thank you,” I say after him as I tuck the money into the back pocket of my Lucky bag. I'm glad I didn't have to break off my own change for the bag. Jeremy has no idea how much this hobo would have set me back. Every dime I can save toward getting a ride of my own, I'm doing from now on—no expensive purses allowed.
As I step onto the front porch, I smell a pungent odor coming from outside. I look across the yard to see our neighbor, Esmeralda, staring straight at me and burning a stick of incense. I can't see her eyes, but I can feel her glare through the gate. This can't be good.
“Didn't your grandmother teach you to speak to your elders?” her crackling voice whispers through the faded white iron fence enclosing the front porch of her house. Her birds are squawking loudly in the background and her three cats are lying on the steps, sleeping as usual. They are only around when Lexi's not, which is usually early in the morning. But for any of them—Esmeralda included—it's too late for them to be out and about. I usually hear her outside when I first wake up. By the time I come out, she's always back in.
“You're not my elder,” I say, walking down the steps. Before I get halfway down the driveway, she opens the gate and stands there, forcing me to stop in my tracks.
“Don't you sass me, young lady,” Esmeralda says. The force of her voice makes me look her dead in her crystal-clear blue eyes, which is my second mistake. The first was answering her question. Mama has always told me not to speak to this broad. I don't know the entire history, but they go way back to their days in New Orleans. And I know she used to harass my mom all of the time when she was younger. As I'm about to make another smart remark, I can't speak. I'm standing still, with my backpack on my back and my purse and overnight bag on my shoulder, unable to move. What the hell's going on?
“What's the matter?” she says, picking up the fattest member of the slumbering cat trio and stroking its back. “Cat got your tongue?” She laughs sinisterly, almost hissing at me. I can't scream for Mama to help me and I can't look away. Oh shit, she's got something on me and I don't know what to do.
“Grrrr,” Lexi slowly growls, waking all of the cats up and breaking Esmeralda's hold on me. Thank God for Mama's gatekeeper.
“Meow!” all the cats scream in unison. Whatever she did to me has caused me to have a headache of mass proportions. I'm going to have to run back inside and wake Mama up for this one. I don't want to risk missing my bus, but this is too freaky. Before I reach the porch, Esmeralda and her cats are out of sight, shrouded by the overgrown plants and crap shielding the front door of her home. To be honest, I've never even seen the front door of her house. That chick is strange.
“Mama!” Inside, I call from the hallway as I frantically search for some painkillers in the linen closet that doubles as a medicine cabinet.
“Jayd, what's wrong?” she says, opening her bedroom door, still half-asleep.
“I just saw Esmeralda outside and she choked me up with her eyes and gave me a headache.”
“What are you talking about, Jayd?” Mama says, feeling my forehead like I've got a fever. “I know you know better than to interact with her. What's gotten into you, girl?”
“I know, Mama, but she was just standing there staring at me. I was trying to get to the bus stop,” I answer, opening a small bottle and swallowing two pills dry. Mama hates when I take medicine without water. She says it's not good for my stomach. But the last thing I want is to have to pee during the hour-and-a-half trip to school.
“Well, Jayd, she's going to do that if she gets a chance, which you can't let her do again. That woman is dangerous and you need to listen to what I tell you the first time I say it, little girl,” Mama says, taking my chin in her hand and looking deep into my eyes. It could be the pounding in my head, but her green eyes seem to shimmer, immediately soothing my nerves. “You're going to be late. Let me take care of Esmeralda and you avoid any contact with her, even it means that next time you see her coming you turn around and go out the back door.”
“But I wasn't looking for her this time,” I say. The worry apparent in Mama's eyes tells me I'm still not hearing her.
“
But maybe she was looking for you,
” my mom mentally interjects, making this a three-way conversation. “
Esmeralda ain't no joke and is powerful in her ability to provoke people. Remember that and she'll never have any real power over you. You just got a taste of what that woman can do.
”
“Your mother's right, Jayd,” Mama says, knowing from the look on my face that her daughter's in my head. I doubt she can hear her, but Mama can read me like a book. “She knows from firsthand experience the kind of trouble Esmeralda can cause in the lives of Williams women. Ignore her completely. Now go on and get, chile, before you miss your first bus. And remember, Jayd, never look directly into Esmeralda's eyes.” She kisses my cheek and heads for the bathroom. Now I'm really freaked out. So much for my week ending uneventfully.
 
Jeremy hasn't attempted to pick me up at the bus stop again since Monday's friendly ride. But this is one morning I could use it. I feel drained from my encounter with Mama's nemesis. If I could, I'd sleep straight through all of my classes. But I know that won't work. Today is test day, and the day to turn in my homework for the week in most of my classes. I'm just glad I get to chill out at my mom's tonight. I need a break from both school and Compton. I'm not looking forward to working in the morning, but that too shall pass and quickly, I hope.
 
“Hey Jayd,” Misty says from out of nowhere as she passes our table up and continues her walk across the quad to where the rest of her clique is chilling. I didn't see her on the bus this morning and I didn't notice her walk up behind me. Damn, my senses are still off from my painful encounter with Esmeralda. It's only break and I'm ready to get out of here for the weekend to get some rest and studying done. I've got to find out more about Esmeralda and her powers.
“Chance, get off me. I'm not feeling well today,” I say, pushing his narrow behind out of my lap as Nellie gives us both an evil glare. What's that all about?
“You know I'm trying out for
Macbeth
now, right?” he says, sitting next to Nellie, whose demeanor's hella uptight this morning. “I just signed up yesterday.”
“Good. Now I have someone to rehearse with. Dudes are always the last to sign up and auditions start on Tuesday.” Again, Nellie shoots me a look that tells me she doesn't approve of us practicing together at all. I knew her jealousy would get the best of her once she and Chance got involved.
“Yeah, I know. But can't nobody do it like I do and you know this, man,” he says, imitating Chris Tucker in
Friday,
making me laugh. But Nellie's still unamused. Here come Mickey and Nigel and they also look salty. What's up with all of the tension around here?
“Good morning, you two,” I say as they take a seat across the table from us. “How are the little love birds these days?” I feel like I've been absent from school for the past two days, since I've been locked in the library when I wasn't in class.
“Ain't no love birds around here except for them two,” Mickey says, pointing at Chance and Nellie, who give me a look confirming I'm out of the loop.
“Did I miss something?” I say, taking a sip from my bottled water. I don't have much of an appetite since the pills I took didn't help much to calm the pounding in my head.
“No, you were standing right there when she let that punk-ass nigga of hers disrespect her, therefore disrespecting me the other day,” he says, instantly setting Mickey off.
“I keep telling your stupid ass that he's my man and we have to deal with each other in our own way. You don't see me talking shit about you and your trifling trick, do you?”
“You can't say shit about me and Tasha because I treat all of my women with respect,” he says. Oh, this isn't going to be pretty at all.
“
All
of your women?” Mickey says. I knew she would catch that, like any other sistah I know. “How many women do you have?”
“As many as you do men,” Nigel says, not losing his cool for a minute. They don't know this side of him, but I do. Both he and Rah can be cold when they want to be. She doesn't know who she's dealing with, and neither does he. Mickey's got all the fire it takes to melt his ice.
“Shut the hell up talking to me, Nigel,” Mickey says, rising from the bench, ready to storm off. “Are y'all coming?” she says, putting her hands on her hips, waiting for Nellie and me to follow her.
“I need to finish up here,” Nellie says, looking from Chance to her, pissing Mickey off even more. I guess it's my turn to be the good friend, since I've been MIA for the past couple of days. But I really don't want to get involved with their mess. I knew it was coming and I don't want to get burned in the process. They're both my friends. But if I have to choose, I'd choose Nigel's side because he's right. Mickey's man was very disrespectful Tuesday and she needs to be checked for allowing that shit. But she's not so innocent herself and she doesn't want to hear us so I'll be damned if I get in the middle.
“I need to get to class anyway,” I say, putting my water in the side pocket of my backpack before getting up and joining her. “I'll holla at y'all later.”
“Yeah, go talk some sense into your girl,” Nigel says. But there's no talking to Mickey right now. She's vexed and won't hear reason until she's ready. My phone vibrates, signaling a text message from my mom. I forget she can use regular communication when she wants to.
“Hey baby. I have an impromptu tennis match after work with Karl. Can you find another way to my house today? Smooches.”
Damn, like I need something else to think about. Maybe Chance wouldn't mind giving me a ride to Inglewood. I know he's not ballin' like Jeremy. Maybe I'll give him some gas money, since Bryan broke me off a piece this morning. I really need to get my own car. Then I won't have to worry about my mom's schedule or anyone else's for that matter. I'm glad my mom's found a new man, which she always does. As good as she knows she looks, Lynn Marie has never had a problem finding a boyfriend.
“Was that Rah?” Mickey says as we speed-walk toward the main hall. She is a good five inches taller than I am, which makes keeping up with her long legs a workout for me, especially when she's pissed.
“No, it was my mom. She's not going to be able to pick me up after school, so I have to find another way to her house,” I say, knowing she's not feeling my pain. Mickey's parents have been married since high school, so she's never had to move around like I do.

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