Laguna Cove (7 page)

They’d met up again at the Ocean Ranch Golden Spoon, standing in line next to each other and both laughing when they ordered the exact same thing—a regular half pistachio—half vanilla with yogurt chips (she’d ordered first, so if anyone was copying, it was
him
). Then they’d carried their cups outside and sat at one of the small round tables, talking until her plastic spoon scraped against the bottom of the cup, and there was nothing left.

The second time was not an accident. Although it was a secret. As had been every single date that followed. Until, slowly, Lola began to realize that the strange, sometimes painful feeling in the pit of her stomach, accompanied by her newfound obsession with hours and minutes and seconds (counting them until she’d get to see him again), was the exhilarating, thrilling, and somewhat scary feeling of being in love.

Too bad she couldn’t confide in her friends. Or her parents. Or anyone else, for that matter. It meant way too much to her to just put it out there for other people to judge. And she knew the only way to protect it was to keep it close, and quiet, and secret.

She feared that her friends, knowing what a big flirt she’d always been, wouldn’t take her seriously Not to mention how they’d totally freak at her choice. And there was no doubt that Ellie would be the first (and worst) to judge. And so Lola, being a total people pleaser, had even flirted with that guy in the Jeep just to keep up the appearance of her “normal” self. But all the while she’d been thinking about someone else.

And she couldn’t tell her parents because they, along with
Abuela
, would have a complete and total meltdown. Because for starters, he wasn’t Mexican. Or Spanish. Or Puerto Rican. Or Panamanian or Argentinean or any other form of Hispanic that her parents would have grudgingly accepted after Mexican. And he wasn’t interested in having the “right kind of job.” He was an athlete, an artist, an innovator—a true renaissance man—but she knew her parents would not be impressed.

Right now Lola felt so insanely, blissfully happy that she just couldn’t take any chances on having someone else wreck it.

“Lola?” her mother called, walking into the bathroom and leaning against the marble sink.

“Mom, I’m trying to take a bath here, jeez,” she said, sinking way down so she was covered up to her neck in bubbles.

“We’re leaving in an hour,” her mother said, turning toward the mirror and checking her makeup.

“Okay.” Lola picked up a bottle of body scrub and poured some into her palm. As far as she was concerned, the sooner they left, the better. She had lots of prepping to do for tonight, and it would all go a lot smoother if they weren’t around to supervise.

“Will you be ready by then?” Her mother turned to face her.

“Ready for what?” she asked, getting a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. “What are you talking about?” Lola had no idea what her parents had in store for her, but there was no way they would keep her from going on her date.

“Tonight’s that movie screening, and your father is insisting that you go.”

“What? No!” Lola said, her heart racing as she looked at her mother and pleaded. “Mom, I can’t, okay? I have plans.”
God, it’s like they’re determined to wreck my life!
She’d had a serious boyfriend for exactly three months now, and she was thinking about doing something very major to mark the occasion. It might be too soon, but she loved him so much it would probably be worth it. And she knew her dad didn’t care if she went to the stupid premiere. This was her mom’s doing. She was always trying to show off her pretty daughter and get her noticed by Hollywood. Even though Lola herself had no interest in any of it.

“This is very important to your father and me. You will come with us, and that’s final,” she said, turning to leave as though everything was settled.

“No!
Mom, I’m serious!” Lola begged. “It’s Friday night and I have plans!”

“Well, I’m very sorry you made plans, because you’ve known about this for over a week now.”

Was that true? Had she known about it? Because she had absolutely no recollection of having been told. Was being in love giving her amnesia? “Mom, please, I’m so not joking. I’ll do anything to make it up to you guys. Just please don’t ask me to do this,
please
!”

“What on earth is so important?” her mother asked, crossing her arms coolly and surveying her wet, soapy, panicked daughter.

“I promised Ellie,” she started.
Think, Lola, think!
“Um, you know how her mom died, like five years ago this month? Well, we always get together to kind of memorialize it.” Okay, it wasn’t a total lie, because they really did do that, and she was stopping there first. But still, using that for an excuse is definitely a guaranteed one-way ticket to Hell. Especially since what she was
really
planning to do was something her parents had always told her
would
send her to Hell.

“Fine.” Her mother shook her head and sighed. “We’ll take separate cars. You can drive mine. But you must come by as soon as you’re finished. The screening is at eight. Don’t be late,” she said, giving her a stern look.

“Okay.” Lola nodded, wondering what excuse she would use for when she didn’t show. Ellie was too upset and she couldn’t leave her? Ran out of gas? Wardrobe malfunction?

“And Lola?” her mother said, gripping the door handle.

“Yeah?”

“Don’t even think about not showing up.”

Lola watched until the door was completely closed. Then she took a deep breath and plunged under the bubbles, resting on the bottom of the tub for as long as she could.

chapter twelve

Anne was lounging on the couch, remote control in one hand, chip smothered in guacamole in the other, as she and Christina drank raspberry iced teas and watched Spanish-language
novelas
together. She’d been hanging out with Christina all day after school, and even though there was at least a twenty-year age gap, and definitely somewhat of a language barrier, she had to admit it beat hanging out by herself. Or, even worse, with Jake, who was always trying to get her into the ocean and onto a board.

But Anne refused to surf. And she refused to hang with people who surfed. And just for the record, she was also absolutely done with celebrating the “small victories.” That sunny side up frame of mind had lasted an hour at best. And now she was right back to feeling sorry for herself.

It’s the inventory that was so pathetic:

Friends—0.

Boyfriends—0.

Pool—0.

Diving board—0.

Dad (still missing in action)—0.

Anything remotely resembling her former life as she knew it—0.

She rolled her eyes at her sorry existence, then grabbed another chip and pulled it through the bowl of guacamole—twice. Then, holding it up in front of her, she looked over at Christina and smiled before shoving the entire thing into her mouth.

But Christina didn’t smile back. Her eyes were busy watching the action on the flat screen TV So Anne picked up another chip, repeating the same routine and wondering if maybe she should slow down just a bit since for the past hour or so her jeans had begun to feel a little, well,
confining.

And, to be honest, hanging with Christina wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. Anne had originally hoped that by asking her to stay late, they could hang out, have some fun, maybe get to know each other a little better. Thinking that in no time they’d be giggling and sharing inside jokes—
in Spanish
, even.

But now, as she undid her top button and grabbed another chip, it was becoming very clear just how misguided her plan had been. Not to mention the sad truth that Christina had probably only stayed because she thought she
had
to, and not because she
wanted
to.

chapter thirteen

The third week of September was always hard for Ellie. Not only did the responsibilities of school and home always threaten to overwhelm her, but it also marked the week her mom had died. September eighteenth, to be exact. And even though five years had passed, and it was slowly starting to get easier, whenever that day approached she always felt like a big dimmer switch had been put on her life. Everything just seemed so much darker.

With her brother always so busy and rarely around, and her father’s refusal to ever mention it, she sometimes felt like she was the only one who remembered her, the only one who missed her, and the only one who hadn’t gotten on with her life.

Slipping into a pair of clean khaki shorts, a white ribbed tank top, and some flip-flops, she left her long hair loose and wavy like her mom had always liked it. Then she went down the stairs and onto the beach, looking for her friends, wondering if they’d show, or if they’d even remember since it’s not like it was something they organized.

It had started sort of organically, over the past few years, with the three of them just always congregating on the beach in the early-evening hours after school, and they’d laugh and talk and reminisce about all the good times. And there were never any candles, never any music, and rarely any crying. It was much more about celebrating her life than remembering her death.

Ellie sat on the old, scarred wood bench, enjoying the warmth of the sun-baked seat against the back of her legs. Some kids were out there surfing, and she felt a pang of guilt, knowing she should be out there, too. Especially if she didn’t want to totally humiliate herself at the Surf Fest. But this day wasn’t about surfing. It was one of the few days when she gave herself a break.

“Hey, Ellie!” Ellie looked up to see Jade smiling and waving, with her brown curls bouncing as she jogged toward her.

Ellie waved back, feeling relieved that she wouldn’t have to go it alone this year. She knew that someday she would, but she was glad it wasn’t now. Right now, she just wasn’t ready.

chapter fourteen

Lola stood in front of the mirror, dripping water all over the mosaic-tiled floor, wondering how her life had gotten so complicated. True, she may have been just the tiniest bit responsible for keeping secrets from those she loved, but was it really such a bad thing to want to make everyone around you happy?

Her parents had already taken off. So that left only
Abuela
, who, hating all things Hollywood (despite her son’s huge success as an entertainment lawyer), was firmly planted in the den watching TV in one of her ubiquitous housedresses.

Lola knew it would be easy enough to sneak past her and avoid her usual ploy of dressing in layers (sexy covered by conservative), but she knew it’d look strange and elicit all kinds of questions if she showed up on the beach to hang with Ellie and Jade in a pair of silver stilettos.
God, I never get a break!
And tonight would require no less than
three
costume changes—one for Ellie, one for her date, and one for her parents and that stupid movie screening.

She pulled her hair back into a sleek, low ponytail and put on the diamond studs she got for her sixteenth birthday, dropping her favorite silver hoops into the little pocket in her purse for later. Then she hurriedly stepped into a white terry-cloth sundress and ran out the door and down the street. She had almost made it to the top of the beach stairs when her cell rang.

“Hello?” she answered hastily. She had no time to talk, no time to waste.

“Hey,” he said. It was him!

“Oh,” she giggled. “I didn’t look at the display—I didn’t realize it was you.”

“You sound like you’re in a hurry”

“Well, kind of. I mean, I have to meet Ellie right now, and then my parents are insisting that I go to this movie screening thing with them.” She rolled her eyes instinctively.

“I thought we were having dinner?”

“We are! I can fit it all in, trust me. I just have to juggle a few things around, that’s all.”

“Lola,” he started.

“Trust me. I can make it work. I just might not be able to see you ’til a little later than we planned, that’s all.”

“I made reservations for eight,” he said, his voice sounding tight.

“Oh. Well, can you change them? Because that’s when I’m supposed to be in L.A.”

“Change them to what? Right now for the early-bird special?” He sounded angry.

“Listen, you don’t have to feed me. I can grab some popcorn at the movie, and then we can still see each other later.” She felt like she was begging, just like she had earlier with her mother. “I can’t wait to see you,” she whispered.

“Lola,” he sighed. “I’ve been thinking …”

Oh God, don’t say that. Don’t think!
She grabbed the handrail.

“Maybe this isn’t such a great idea.”

She sunk down onto the top step and rested her forehead against her knees.

“It’s like, maybe this just isn’t good timing for us. You’re still in high school, still living with your parents …”

“You still live at home!” she said, feeling kind of angry.
It’s not like he didn’t know all that. He’d always known all that
.

“Yeah, but it’s different for me.”

“What are you trying to say?” she asked, but only because she had to. Not because she wanted to hear the answer.

“I just think it’s better if we take it easy for a while. Let things cool down a bit …”

She just sat there, holding the phone but not daring to speak into it.
Breathe
, she thought.
All that’s required of you is to breathe
.

“Lola?” His voice sounded small, far away

“I have to go,” she whispered, closing her phone, fixing her ponytail, and running down the rest of the stairs to meet Ellie and Jade.

chapter fifteen

Anne was just contemplating changing into something with an elastic waist and opening another bag of chips when she heard a key turning in the lock.

“Is anyone home?” her dad called, dropping his bag with an audible thump and heading down the hall.

Giving Christina a guilty look, she wiped the crumbs from her face, sucked in her belly, and buttoned her jeans again. “Um, we’re in here,” she yelled, hurriedly grabbing a napkin to dab at a guacamole stain on her sloppy gray T-shirt. “In the den.”