Land of Entrapment (33 page)

“Oh, so now you’re my personal matchmaker?”

She grinned. “I’m your friend. And I want the best for you. Since I’m out of the question, given my own weirdnesses, she’s the next best thing. And she gives off a really good vibe. Plus, I can tell she’s into you.

And not just in the biblical sense.”

“And you got all that from twenty minutes of talking to her?” I grumbled.

“Nope. Two. The other eighteen were just icing.”

She took another bite. “She’s special, Kase. And so are you. Take a chance.” She smiled and I smiled back.

We spent the rest of the meal talking about other things and Chris dropped me off at Megan’s around nine.

“I’ll be in touch tomorrow. It’ll be okay.” She leaned over and pecked me on the cheek. “Try to get some sleep. Call if you need to.”

I got out of her car. “Thanks. See you later.”

I closed the door and pulled the house key out of my pocket, holding it up for her to see. She waved and pulled away from the curb. Jeff and Sage were out for the evening. Jeff was at work, I knew. He was a bartender at O’Neill’s Irish pub, which was near Central and Washington, east of their house. Sage had called around six and told me she had an art opening to go to and I was welcome to come along. I told her I was having dinner with Chris to discuss the next day’s events. Sage understood and she told me she’d see me later. She also said she loved my message. I told her that I might crash early but if she felt like it, to let herself in.

I unlocked the door to Megan’s. Hopefully, Megan would call soon. Either tonight or tomorrow and everything would go smoothly and nothing fucked-up would happen. I turned on the TV for background and called Melissa. She was at home organizing and packing some things. Hillary was still out of town.

Melissa sounded subdued.

“You okay?” I asked.

“Fine. I guess I’m a little overwhelmed. It’s been so strange but good having you around. And this stuff that’s going on tomorrow has me kind of scared.”

“I know. It’ll be fine. These are trained professionals, after all. And Megan will be home soon.”

Melissa didn’t say anything at first and I heard what sounded like packing tape ripping off its spool.

“At first, I wanted to go with you and wait for her.

But it occurred to me that maybe that wasn’t the right thing to do. Our relationship hasn’t been the best. I think that maybe you’re the one she needs to see first.

She always looked up to you, like a mentor. And you don’t have the baggage with her that I do.”

I was quiet for a bit. “I appreciate that.”

“Don’t think it doesn’t bother me that I won’t be there.”

“I don’t think that at all. Thanks for the confidence.”

She didn’t say anything for a moment. “It’s strange. I mean, I’m glad she’ll be coming home but on the other hand, she might not be done with them.

It’s almost like when she was using and she’d get out of rehab and I wasn’t sure how to deal with her.”

That was actually a really good analogy. “One day at a time. You know that.” She laughed. It was a nice sound. “You seem more relaxed. Have you been sleeping?”

“It’s funny, but since Hillary’s been out of town, I have slept so well. It’s like...” she paused, then continued. “I know there’s nothing I can do to save her and for the first time in my life, I really do feel like it’s not my issue. There’s something really liberating about that. And it feels really good to be packing my things. I think I might go visit my grandma in a few weeks. Maybe Megan will come.”

“That’s a good idea. Get out of town. Clear your head. Works for me.”

Silence.

“Joke, Meliss’. My bad attempt at levity.”

“Oh, I know. I was just thinking when you said that—I was thinking that Grandma talks about the cycles of life and how it’s a gift to get a chance to finish what was left unfinished. I’m not going to tell you it was easy to have you here the past few days.

But I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”

Peace washed over me. I didn’t know what to say so I muddled. “Me, either. I’m glad you came to Texas,” I finished lamely.

“Same here. Okay. Well.” She shifted gears, probably not wanting to pick at the past too much.

“I’m going to do some more packing and I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yeah. Have a good night. Bye.”

“Bye.”

I hung up and went into Megan’s bedroom, reached onto her shelf and took her jewelry box down. I took the photograph that showed Melissa and me at Taos Pueblo out of the box. It really was a nice image. I looked at it for a long time and it was as if I was looking through a window at a tableau. It was me, but I knew it was the past, and it was done. I could only see what was happening. I couldn’t hear it, smell it, taste it, or even feel it. I had a boundary now between past and present and I knew it was safe to visit the former without influencing the latter. I put the box back in its place and left the photo on the shelf.

The rest of the evening I spent watching TV in an attempt to get my mind off the events scheduled for the next day. I then started in on mundane tasks, like rinsing out my running clothes, since I had managed a workout before Chris came by. I also checked e-mail.

Marla, the department secretary, had e-mailed me.

Nothing going on, no worries. She hoped my trip was going well and that I was discovering lots of interesting things. You have no idea, I thought as I e-mailed her back to say thanks for checking in. I logged into Megan’s account. Just spam again. I cleared it out and then jetted around the Web, trying to get hits on Cody or Roy/Raymond. No. No surprise, really. They probably surfed under pseudonyms. Stuff like “Odin’s guy” or “Aryan battle axe.” Sage would probably say that Cody’s Web name was “Aryan Assmuncher.”

Ten-thirty. I shut the computer down and went into the bedroom where I put on a pair of boxers and a tee. I then headed into the bathroom and completed my nightly pre-bed rituals then shut the TV off as well as the lights. Maybe I’d do some reading. It’d been a while. I got comfortable in bed and started a Tony Hillerman novel I’d brought. Three chapters in I was sound asleep.

I woke up in the dark, momentarily confused. I was on my back with Sage curled around me, her head resting on my chest between my left shoulder and my neck, her left arm stretched across my waist.

Her breathing was slow and deep. She still smelled of lavender and cloves. I hadn’t heard her come in, but I vaguely remembered her kissing my cheek and taking the book out of my hands. I carefully shifted my position so that I could pull her closer with my left arm. She mumbled something and snuggled closer.

The way her body felt against mine intoxicated me, like the night before. Christ, we haven’t even kissed yet. But here I was, wanting more, missing her when she wasn’t around, fascinated by her spirit and the fire that drove her. And I had just met her, though I felt more comfortable with her in that short time than I had with Melissa after we had started seeing each other. I knew it wasn’t really fair to compare the two situations. After all, Sage and Melissa were two entirely different women and I wasn’t who I had been seven years ago, either. I had no idea where this thing with Sage would go. All I knew, lying there in the dark with her arm around me and her head on my shoulder, was that I didn’t care and I wanted in on the ride. I carefully moved and kissed the top of her head, hoping she’d feel it in her sleep.

She stirred. “Hi,” she said sleepily.

“Hey,” I answered softly.

“You feel amazing.” She tightened her grip around my waist.

“I was thinking the same thing about you.” I brushed my lips against her forehead. “Thanks for stopping by.”

She giggled and I felt her hand move from my waist to my face, where her fingers stroked my right cheek. My heartbeat sped up. She moved slightly and I felt her breath and lips on my neck. Oh, no. Not the neck. Please. I can’t be held responsible for my actions if she keeps this up. My bones started to melt. Her kisses were delicate, fluttering like butterflies along the line of my jaw to my neck and then my clavicle. I would have exploded except anything that could have blown had melted.

“Oh, God,” I moaned.

I heard a smile in her response. “Hmm. I like how that sounded.” She nuzzled my left earlobe and I might have had an out-of-body experience. Every muscle, every nerve ending, even my hair was aflame.

“There is nothing I would rather do than make love to you right now,” she whispered. Her left leg wrapped around my left leg and I wanted to tear her tee and shorts off with my teeth. “But you have a lot of work to do tomorrow and you need to have your head in the right place. Not only for Megan, but for me.”

I groaned. She was right. And I had already told myself that I wouldn’t give Sage my undivided attention until the situation with Megan was resolved—whatever that might mean. “Why? Why, Sage? Why do you torture me so?” I sighed plaintively.

She laughed. “You think this is easy for me? Two years? And here I am, finally, in bed with you?”

“Point taken.”

“I don’t want anything hanging over us. Nothing to interrupt us. Does that make sense?” She stroked my face again and she propped herself up on her right elbow. I could just make out her features in the dark.

“Yes.” I covered her hand with mine, leaned into her palm. “Being with you is worth whatever wait there is.” I didn’t know where those words came from, but they felt and sounded so right. She leaned over and kissed me on the forehead.

“You’re every dream I’ve had come true,” she said softly. “Now get some sleep. Before I change my mind.”

I laughed and wrapped myself around her, delighting in the heat of her skin, the smell of her hair, the energy she exuded. I fell asleep with the sound of her breathing in my ear and her fingers buried in my hair.

I WAS UP first for a change, so I made coffee, letting Sage sleep a bit longer. Besides, I got to watch her as she did so. I poured her a cup, and doctored it the way she liked it before carrying it into the bedroom, where I sat on the edge of the bed closest to her. She was on her stomach, head turned toward me.

I kissed her right cheek and she opened her eyes.

“Good morning,” I said, running my fingers through her hair with my free hand.

She smiled. “Yes, it is.” She sat up and I handed her the cup of coffee. She sipped it. “Mmm. Perfect.”

“So what time are you going up to Santa Fe?”

She looked at me, surprised.

“I’d go if I could,” I continued. “I would love to be at one of your openings.”

She looked at me shyly. “You Googled me.”

“I did. Sage, your work is amazing. I wish I could go tonight. All I can tell you is that I’ll call you when things settle.”

“That means so much to me. And I wish I could be there for you.”

“Chris wouldn’t let you. She’s barely letting me.”

She laughed. “True. I’ll probably leave here around three. The opening’s at seven. Lots of chi-chi people, I’m sure, but some of my benefactors will be there and I have to go make nice.”

“Absolutely.” I tousled her hair. “You want a bagel? Green chile from the Co-op.”

“I’d love one.”

“Toasted?”

“No. Just slightly warmed.” She looked at me, coy.I felt goofy. “Don’t worry about making the bed.

I’ll take care of it.” I lingered at the doorway. “It was really, really nice having you here.” I think I’d like to make it a habit. How I was going to do that I didn’t know. But she moved me. In deep, mysterious, delightful ways. I retreated to the kitchen and worked on bagels. We ate at the table, laughing and talking.

Sage glanced at the clock on the microwave and sighed heavily. “I have to go. I have to get stuff ready.”

“I know.”

She stood and took her plate to the sink.

“Take some coffee for the road.”

She poured another cup and I followed her to the door. Another beautiful New Mexico morning.

Probably another rainstorm later on, but right now, it was a perfect day. She slipped into her Birks, which she had left at the door and turned to look at me. She reached out to me, pulled my head toward hers. She kissed my cheek and whispered in my ear. “Please be careful. Come back to me.”

I kissed her forehead. “Count on it. Now go knock some benefactor’s socks off.” I watched her as she returned to the big house and went inside.

NOTHING LIKE WAITING for the shit to hit the fan. There’s an art to waiting and I’m sorry to say that I have no talent for it. I kept both cell phones on my person at all times and I checked them obsessively to make sure they were turned on, that nothing was wrong, that the ringers were working. I refrained from calling anyone for fear I’d miss a call. I was restless but I didn’t work out because I might miss a call. So I paced. And then I paced right out the door and around the block. Then I paced up to Central and back again. In the heat, as the monsoons gathered to the west again.

Like clockwork, the storms swept the city at two. I had no idea how I hadn’t gone insane during that time. I was sitting on the porch of the big house again, glowering into the sheets of rain when, at long last, my disposable phone rang. I checked the number.

Megan, calling from the pay phone. With a mixture of relief and trepidation, I answered.

“Hey. Is the meeting still on tonight?”

“Yes. Eight o’ clock. He’s started making calls.

There are already people coming by. Most should get there around seven.”

“Okay, here’s what I need you to do. As close to seven forty-five as you can, leave. Offer to make a cigarette run and let Cody know you want to get something to drink. Offer to buy whatever for anybody who wants anything. But get out of there as close to then as you can and get to the Allsup’s. You’ll see a brown Chevy Trailblazer. A guy named Mark will be with the vehicle. He’s big, like a football player. Dark hair. He knows what you look like so just go up to him and tell him who you are. He’ll get you out of there.”

Hesitation. “How will I know for sure?”

“I’ll be there. I’ll be in the vehicle but Mark doesn’t want me to be seen and possibly recognized.

Please trust me on this. I’ll probably be on the back seat.”