Landing (18 page)

Chapter 27

The room is quiet for a single beat
after my big reveal. Then another drop of Jane’s blood splashes into the metal
basin. Tarren lunges against his restraints, and the cuffs bang against the
pillar sending sharp echoes through the room.

Grand watches.

“You won’t kill me,” Gabe says.

“Yes I will, because I’m an angel.”
The irony of this statement hits me with all the softness of a sledgehammer,
and I choke out a laugh.

“No,” Gabe shakes his head. His
eyes brim with tears. “No, no, no.”

I take off both gloves and turn my
palms toward him. Behind me, I feel Tarren’s energy spike. He lunges again,
falling back hard against the pillar.

Gabe watches as my palms split
open, and the bulbs rise out of the glowing center of each hand.

I try to explain. “The hunger
is…is…like a song. But the song…” It’s not coming out right. I take a breath
and try again. “Your mother read you
The Odyssey
when you were young.” I
look back at Tarren. His face is flushed. Short, fast breaths whistle through
his nose.

“Remember the part where the ship
passes the sirens? All the men put wax in their ears, and Odysseus is tied to
the mast so he doesn’t go to them. The sirens sing, and their song is…” I close
my eyes for a moment and let the words come as they will.

“…Intoxicating. Irresistible.
That’s the hunger. Always playing. Always in here.” I tap my temple. “Can you
even begin to understand how that feels? To be starving while there’s a feast
of energy all around you? Wanting so badly to give in?”

“We tried to help you.” Tears crest
and spill down Gabe’s cheeks.

“You did Gabe, I know that.”

“Maya, we have to save Tarren.” He
wipes the tears away, streaking blood across his cheek. “That’s why we came
here.”

“That’s why you came here.” I stare
over his shoulder at the gray, barren wall so I don’t have look at his face
anymore. “I came here so that I could save you from Grand’s torture.”

“And what about Tarren?” Gabe’s
voice cracks.

“Tarren and Grand have unfinished
business,” I tell Gabe. “I’ll do what I can so that it doesn’t last too long…”

“No!” Gabe bolts up. I grab his
coat and slam him against the wall. He collapses into a moaning, shuddering
heap. Cradling his ribs with one arm, he brings his other hand to his mouth and
bites down on his knuckles, hard enough to puncture the skin and send wells of
blood dripping through his fingers.

I look up at Grand and try to gauge
his reaction. He gives me a curt nod.

Gabe takes his knuckles out of his
mouth, presses both hands onto the floor, and lifts himself up to his knees.
The deep ruby swirls of his aura tell me just how much this simple effort costs
him. He sways and braces one hand against the wall, leaving streaks of blood as
his fingers slide down.

“Tarren would have done anything
for you,” he says hoarsely. “He would have died for you and so would I!” He
looks up at me, his face contorted with pain, with misery.

“Gabe, listen to me.”

“Why are you doing this?” And even
now, after everything, a few strands of blue still remain in my brother’s aura.
Grand lingers in the back of the room, but he might as well be standing over my
shoulder. Watching. Expectant. It isn’t just about killing Gabe; it’s about
shattering his heart first.

My knees just about give out, but I
catch myself. Lock every muscle. It’s come to this.

“Do you ever wonder how Grand found
out about me? Why he started looking in the first place?” I glance over my
shoulder. Tarren’s eyes are daggers. I can hear his heartbeat crashing in his
chest. “It was because Tarren told him.”

“Everything you’re saying is a
lie,” Gabe responds in a paper dry voice. His aura is turning a sickish yellow.
“We…we tried to save you.”

“That’s what Grand counted on.
That’s why he left that laptop in his hotel room. He knew all he had to do was
wait and you would lead him right to me.”

Tears drip off of Gabe’s chin.
“No.” Those last smudges of blue are breaking down in his aura.

“You didn’t figure it out, I know
that. But Tarren did.”

Gabe looks up at me with red eyes.
“Tarren would never…he wouldn’t do something like that.”

“He knew that Grand would turn me
and the process would weaken him, make him vulnerable to attack...”

“Tarren wouldn’t do that!” Gabe’s
voice ratchets up and echoes within the confines of the small room.

“Then why did he put a tracker in
my purse when you were already following me?”

“No,” Gabe’s voice turns into a
strangled moan. “No.”

“So you see, we’re not a family.”
My voice is shaking, but I keep going. “We were never a family. I already had a
family. I already had a life. Grand took that away from me, but Tarren—he led
the way.”

“He wouldn’t do that,” Gabe
whispers.

“And you, you’re just a sad, stupid
little puppet who makes up ridiculous lies just to keep from seeing the truth
in the mirror.”

There. The mucky yellow within
Gabe’s aura swallows up the last wisps of blue. His heart is unspooled in my
hands.

I turn and face Grand from across
the room. “I despised you for a long time, more than you can know. I still
despise you, but you’re right. I can’t go back, and I can’t stand still. I need
to accept who…what I am. I don’t want to be hungry anymore.”

Grand’s mouth relaxes. It’s not a
smile, but I think my performance has impressed him.

Gabe crawls toward his brother, one
elbow after the other, dribbling blood as he goes. I watch his slow progress
and then turn to Grand.

“He was always kind to me,” I say.
“Let me take him quickly.”

Those elegant blond brows lift with
a hint of amusement. “If you wish,” Grand says.

I mean to turn around now and face
my brothers, except my body won’t move. A bolt of panic races through me. I am
frozen with the same incapacitating fear I felt in Poughkeepsie last month and
again that night in Illinois on the roof of the ice cream shop. Those same
black snowflakes blot out my vision. I take a long, quivering breath and force
myself to turn around.

I would have never imagined Tarren
capable of begging, but as he watches Gabe crawl toward him, his eyes dart up
to mine and they plead. Then he does something even more incomprehensible.
Those hard gray portals usually filled with knife points now well with tears.

“I know,” I say to Tarren, “I’ll
make it quick.” Tarren shakes his head back and forth, muffled voice screaming
beneath the tape.

Gabe plants his elbow and drags
himself forward. He’s almost there. I step behind him.

“Wait,” he whispers. “Please…just
wait.” He raises himself to his knees and falls into Tarren, wrapping his arms
around Tarren’s waist and burying his face in Tarren’s chest.

“I’m sorry,” Gabe sobs. “I’m sorry,
I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

Tarren tilts his head down,
pressing his cheek against the wavy locks of Gabe’s hair. His eyes never leave
my face.

I am not capable of standing this
anymore.

I grab the collar of Gabe’s coat
and wrench him from his brother. He falls with a yelp of pain. Tarren lunges
against his restraints. And again. And again. And again.

Even though his aura is pulsing
with deep red veins of agony, Gabe raises his head and meets my eyes. His voice
is a strangled choke. “I’m sorry for you too Maya.”

“Forgive me,” I whisper, and before
Gabe can respond, I grab a fistful of his hair and yank him to his knees. I
bend him back so he can’t find his feet. He tries to twist around, howling like
a wild, crazed animal, so I jam my knee between his shoulder blades.

Gabe’s aura crackles red, spilling
all around me. I hold off long enough to meet Tarren’s eyes, watch the tears
spill down his flushed cheeks as he screams.  

Then I lay my palm on Gabe’s
forehead and let go.

My hands rip open.

I am gone.

Chapter 28

Silence.

True silence.

Then colors. Streaming across my
vision. Wild reds and yellows on the surface. Soaking into me. Deeper down,
blue. Sweet sapphire.

In a place far away and
unimportant, fingers claw against my skin.

Sapphire pulsing through my brain.
Blooming senses. Expanding channels of power.

This is ecstasy.

This is majesty.

This is…Divinity.

The flow of energy is fading. The
distant clawing slows and falls away. I grip tighter. Pull harder.

Flare of need. My head snaps up. Bright,
bright energy cascading nearby.

New prey
.

No consciousness. No thoughts. Only
the want of this new thing.

My head turns. Frothing energy.
Beautiful.

A single word. A name.

Tarren.

Tarren brings me back. Tarren with
his energy exploding from his body like fire. Brighter than I’ve ever seen,
ever imagined possible. Tarren screaming his muffled screams, straining so hard
against his bonds that blood streams down his wrists.

Another name.

Gabe.

The great river of his energy
dwindles to dust beneath my grip.

This isn’t the plan.

I concentrate on Tarren’s energy.
Grasp at it like a rope to drag my battered consciousness to the surface.

Mind erupting. Thoughts fragile as
glass.

Gabe’s body is lax against my knee.
His head lolls in my grip.

I’m killing him. Killing him.
Killing him.

I can’t do that. Mustn’t do that,
even though every single cell in my body is intent on drinking his life force
to the very last drop.

Somehow—and I’m not really sure how
except that the pull of Tarren’s energy helps—I release my grip.

Exquisite pain crackles through my
skull as I tear my hand from Gabe’s aura and shove him away from me. My perfect
memory will forever hold onto every detail of this moment—the sound of Gabe’s
head cracking against the concrete, the tears still etching from his closed
eyes down his pale cheeks, the guttural animal groans from Tarren as he stares
at his brother.

And it’s all wrong. I was supposed
to hold onto Gabe just long enough to convince Grand of my ardor. But the
monster got out, and she was so much stronger than I ever could have imagined.

And now this.

The nightmare come true.

The monster is still out. She
doesn’t growl; she purrs. I—the soft Maya part—am struck dumb and blind with
pain. The monster is gentle, leading me into a dark corner where I can shed
silent tears. Then she takes the reins of mind and body. She is me. She is
powerful. I know how it sounds, but it’s the only way I can think to explain
the light and dark inside of me.

With Monster Maya in control, I
swallow back my tears and close the door on my emotions.

I still have work to do.

Tarren continues fighting against
his cuffs. His energy flairs so high it makes every part of me ache with
hunger. Grand is watching him, tempted but patient, enjoying the visual
demolition of my brother’s soul.

I move to Tarren, try to lock down
his eyes. He’s growling, gagging, thrusting forward, veins livid in his
forehead and neck.

“Shhhhhhhhhh.” I kneel down so that
we face one another.

“It’s over,” I tell him. There, I
catch Tarren’s eyes and pin them down. I say it again, softly. “It’s over. Gabe
is gone.” I hope he can recognize the regret in my voice; how much this hurts
me too.

Tarren’s eyes focus, and I know he
understands. A massive shudder runs through his body, splicing red through the
center of his aura. He retches beneath the tape covering his mouth, and his
energy turns dark as polluted ash and vacuums back into his body. He sags
forward, head dropping to his chest. I might have thought he fainted except his
eyes are open, blinking slowly. Blood drips through his clenched fists.

“It’s okay Tarren.” My voice
catches in my throat. “Your fight is over. The fight you knew you could never
win. I won’t let you suffer long.” I don’t know if he understands, if he hears
me at all.

“I wouldn’t be so sure.” Grand
steps up behind me. “I’m rather interested to see how well he’s healed since
his last stay in my lab.”

My eyes are on Tarren’s bowed head.
Emotions roil in my chest, but I push them away.

“He’s broken.” I stand up. Grand
can see the black sludge of Tarren’s aura just as easily as I can. “There is
nothing left to cut, to burn, to bleed.”

I face my father. “Turn me. It will
weaken you. Feed on him,” I nod to Tarren, “to replenish your strength. Let him
find his peace.”

“A fitting beginning,” Grand says.
It seems we share an over indulgence for the dramatic, so I give him a
flourish.

“The way it was supposed to be.”

Grand looks down on Tarren. His
lips twitch, betraying a smug smile beneath the mask of his composure. “We’ve
been here before, haven’t we?”

Tarren doesn’t look up, doesn’t
respond.

“Another sister. Another angel. It
was fun last time wasn’t it? Hearing her scream, watching her change. You
really enjoyed the show. As did I. Especially the surprise ending. I was sure
she would be the one who—”

“Please,” I say, “leave him alone.”

Grand turns away from Tarren. “Are
you sad for them?”

I walk toward the table of surgical
equipment, keeping my distance from Jane’s body and the ricochet echo of her
dripping blood. So much louder now. I’ve got to keep Grand distracted, focused
on me so he doesn’t notice that Gabe is still breathing. Must be still
breathing.

“They betrayed me, starved me, lied
to me.” I take a breath and let it go as a long sigh. “But they thought they
were doing the right thing, and they are my brothers.” I don’t dare glance
behind me. “Yes, I feel sad for us all.”

Grand follows me to the table.
“This is the first time you’ve fed on human energy, isn’t it?” he asks. “How
does it feel?”

My body is a whole new instrument,
tuned up and running right for the first time in my memory. I can taste scents
in the air, feel the currents of electricity running through the circuits in
the walls. My muscles are tensed, ready to propel my body at the merest flicker
of thought. There is a new vibrancy to the colors, even in this dank room. It
all connects so much more easily, like my senses have finally found a shared,
beautiful harmony.

I hold out my arm and study the
soft glow emanating from beneath the surface of my skin.

“It feels…right,” I admit.

“You are only standing in the
shadow of your full potential,” Grand says. “I brought this just in case.” He
reaches across the table and pulls a small black bag into the light.

The bag unzips itself, and a small
bundle wrapped in microfiber lifts out and floats in the air. Grand reaches up
and pulls the cloth away like a magician playing to a crowd. A long, thick
needle is revealed.

“I doubted your conviction,” he
says, “but you have shown admirable…” He pauses, and I know he does it on
purpose. “…fortitude.”

“I don’t have the luxury of
convictions,” I say, and the smooth, confident words I’m always struggling and
failing to find now drop effortlessly onto my lips. I know exactly what Grand
wants to hear. “The choice was easy. Who would ever want to be the prey when
they could be the predator?”

Grand nods. “You understand.”

I step up to him.
No hesitation.
No doubt.
I should be so afraid, but I’m not. “Finish what you started.”

Grand sets the point of the needle
against his hip and slowly pushes it through his skin into bone. A small dent
creases his brow, and this is the only indication of his pain. He pulls back
the stopper, sucking up the vital marrow that will complete my change into a
full angel. As the vial fills, I can sense the power draining from Grand’s
body. A shadow of fatigue crosses his face.

Here, right now, with his head down
and his only hand occupied, Grand is at his weakest.

I act. Without hesitation. Without
doubt.

In a single motion, I reach behind
my back and pull the dagger from my belt. The short blade cuts through the air
between us, following the arc of its unstoppable destiny. Grand senses my
motion. His face turns, and those glassy blues widen. His hand reaches up. Too
slow.

For one precious moment Grand is
mine.

Except his other arm comes up fast,
and the stump of his wrist clips my elbow. I bury my blade inches high, just
under his collarbone.

Grand’s heart, that poisonous
clock, ticks on.

“No,” is all I get to say before I
am torn off my feet by the invisible force of his anger.