Landon's Obsession: An Endless Series: Book 3 (Series 3) (32 page)

     She snorted. “Of course you would have, the boy slept
with a new girl every week, but you were innocent.” There was another catch to
her voice.

     It was hard to argue with those facts. “Yes, there was
that, but it’s not as cut and dried as you, or I, want it to be. I’m not ready
to completely forgive and forget, but there are always two sides to a story.
I’ve had three months to consider some of Landon’s and I think his side
deserves further consideration. Can you tell me you don’t think that either?”

     “No, I don’t. The boy is spoiled and selfish.” She
answered mulishly.

     I found a small grin at that. “I don’t disagree. If you
grew up with having everything handed to you it’s probably difficult not to
become spoiled and selfish. But when I was with him he was also sweet and
caring.” My grin faded as memories poured through me causing my chest to ache.
“You didn’t see how he was yesterday, mama. He seemed so torn up.”

     She was silent for a moment. “I still think someone
should be there with you. What if it’s all an act in an effort to get close to
Nola?”

    I understood her mistrust and apprehension. While I
believed Landon’s suffering I couldn’t allow myself to trust him. “Nola’s with
you, so he won’t be near her, and if I get a whiff that him or his family are
making a play at taking her away…” My throat almost closed up at the thought.
“Well, I would run before they could do that.” No one was taking Nola from me.

     “For once I’m glad for Brian’s money. He’s not as rich
as them, but he does have resources and he wouldn’t let them take her without a
fight.” She reassured me.

     I inhaled shakily. “I know he wouldn’t. He’s her
grandfather and he loves her.” Brian did treat Nola like a true granddaughter,
even though she wasn’t of his blood.

     “I know he would love for her to become his legal one.
He’s of the same mind as I concerning you and Gregory.” She pressed.

     “Mama, stop.” I said tightly. I couldn’t deal with this
right now. “This is not the time for that.”

     “I’m sorry, you’re right.” She immediately apologized.

     “It’s almost ten. Landon will be here soon, so I should
go.”

     “You call me as soon as he leaves.” She insisted
anxiously.

     I assured her I would before disconnecting. I then
stood there in the kitchen drinking my morning decaffeinated energy drink,
agitatedly. I couldn’t handle caffeine in high doses so I had to settle for
natural fruit and sugar energy. If I was able to handle caffeine I wouldn’t
have needed it at the moment. Even after a restless night with little sleep my
nerves were jumping like crazy.

     The downtime once again had my mind wondering to the
past. The painful part of my memories had muted with time, and the rest had
become like a scabbed over wound; it only hurt if I picked at it, but the
recent upheaval of Landon’s appearance had popped that scab completely off. For
the last few months I’d been trying my best to not let the emotions ravage me
senseless because I wasn’t just dealing with Kris’s violation of my body after
being drugged. I was also dealing with my past feelings for Landon, my change
of feelings toward Landon, and Nola’s parentage. 

     Thank god I was stronger than I had been four years ago
or I’d be lying in my bed catatonic.

     The door bell rang and I jumped like I’d been prodded.
Taking a deep breath I smoothed my powder blue blouse and black dress slacks. My
make-up was subtle, but artfully applied, and my hair was up in a chic loose
bun. I was accustomed to dressing nice for my job, but I really needed the
armor to give myself an added boost of confidence today. I needed to look like
an adult, even though I felt like I was seventeen all over again.

     Opening the door I saw that Landon was also put
together more carefully today. His hair was styled and he’d shaved. He wore
khaki dress pants and a dark blue, long sleeved, button-up shirt with the two
top buttons undone, and over that a tan jacket that was open. He stared at me
with the same strained, tired expression I knew was on my own face.

     He looked like he’d gotten less sleep than I had, and
was dealing with more emotions than he could handle. Seeing his suffering
pulled at something inside me and I knew that even after everything, as well as
four long years, he still affected me.

     He offered up a weary, weak smile. “Hi.”

     I gave him one back. “Hi.” God, this was awkward. I
stepped back. “Come in.”

     He stepped in and I closed the door behind him. I saw
him gaze around anxiously.

     “Nola’s isn’t here. She slept over at my mother’s.” I
declared.

     A frown flickered across his face. “Oh.”

     “You know we should get some things cleared up before
you meet her, right?”

     Looking at me with hesitant-sorrow filled eyes he
nodded. Taking off his jacket and shoes he followed me into the living room. He
took in the surroundings with no expression until his gaze lit on pictures of
Nola on one of the wall tables. His eyes widened and he froze in front of it.

     I watched him silently, letting him look. His profile
was to me so I couldn’t see his eyes, but he did swallow visibly, and there was
also a noticeable twitch in his jaw. Eventually he turned to face me and the storm
in his eye looked like a mix of shock and grief. He didn’t say anything. He
just continued into the room and took the chair opposite the couch I was
perched on nervously.

     The nervousness boiled over and I jumped back up. “Can
I get you something to drink?”

     “No thank you.” He replied gruffly.

     I sat back down slowly. God, this was nerve-racking. We
sat there silently for a couple minutes and I was having a difficult time not
staring at him. Past the strain and tiredness I could see that he hadn’t
changed much, just matured into his looks and seemed slightly bigger.

     I decided to break the weighty silence. “You didn’t
tell your brother or parent’s about Nola, did you?” I asked, needing to know.

     His brows pinched. “No…I understand why you don’t want
my brother to know, but why not my parent’s?”

     “I don’t trust that they wouldn’t tell your brother,
and I’m just not ready for them to find out yet.”

     He leaned forward slightly, his gaze intent. “What are
you afraid of, besides my brother?” He asked grimly.

     “I’m afraid they will think they have rights to Nola.”
I stated frankly.

     He frowned. “You’re her mother. They don’t have any
rights to her.” His voice was inflexible, like he was trying to reassure me.

     I breathed only slightly easier. “Will
they
feel
that way? They are powerful people who, I think, don’t see the lines in the
sand like the rest of us.”

     I didn’t know his parent’s that well but my mama did
and she was of the mind that Mrs. McKay would be a real problem. After
everything that had happened I wasn’t inclined to trust any of the McKay
family.  

     His lips tightened and he stared at me thoughtfully.
“Are you planning to keep…Nola from them?” He tripped slightly over her name,
but he sounded curious rather than accusatory.

     “It depends on how they view me, and what they believe?
What do they even know?” I asked cautiously.

     He looked away and I knew right away that they weren’t
on my side.

     “They don’t believe Kris drugged and raped me, do
they?”

     Landon’s eyes flared with anger, his entire body
visibly tensed. “I’ve told them what I found out. My mother is firm in Kris’s
innocence…” He spit out Kris’s name in what sounded like murderous fury. “Even
though he hasn’t shown his face in three months, but I think my father might be
coming around. I don’t think he wants to admit it out loud or to himself though.”

     I could understand a parent’s faith in their child,
probably better now that I was a parent, but that didn’t sway me to their side.

     “You have to see why I’m concerned then, Landon. I’m
not at all comfortable with the idea of Nola being around them if they’re
feelings toward me are…negative.” That was the politest word I could come up
with to describe how they might view me. They probably just thought I was a
slut. “They might try to influence her and I won’t have that.”

     His blazing eyes locked with mine. “I wouldn’t allow
that either. I’ve been very vocal with both my parents about my feelings toward
Kris, and my certainty in what he did.” Landon paused to take a deep breath. “I
don’t want him anywhere near you or…Nola, even if he is her…” Landon didn’t
finish the sentence, just looked away, his jaw twitching.

     A pang shot through my chest, as it always did whenever
that point was vocalized.

     A small stretch of silence ensued as we both reigned in
our emotions, but I eventually broke it, asking. “You said your brother
has…disappeared?”

     I held an enormous amount of anger toward Kris. My rape
hadn’t been violent so I wasn’t necessarily afraid of him…not really, but there
was this fear of running across him. I just never wanted to see him again. I
had a brief thought that maybe he went off and died somewhere and it was a
truly comforting notion.  

     Landon’s jaw jerked again and he took a moment to
answer. “The way you reacted to me three months ago didn’t make sense to me.
You seemed terrified of me when I felt like I was the one who’d been deceived.
It bothered me for days, and when I ran into my brother a week later I
confronted him for the first time.” His hazel eyes were swirling with colors
and regret. “I’d never confronted him with what he had done. I turned you away
with vile words and I avoided him. I couldn’t stand to look at him. If I’d only
confronted one of you, both of you, I would have realized right away.” He shook
his head and rubbed at his face looking tortured. “Anyway…Kris was real edgy
when I mentioned your name and he asked me what you had said. It was peculiar
that he would ask that. Emotions ended up getting the better of me at I went
after him. He hopped in a cab and completely disappeared. For three months I’ve
had my guy looking for him, but all he’s found out is that he got on a plane to
Spain. After that the trail went cold.”

     Hearing that Kris was out of the country put to rest
some of my existing anxiety. “If he would only stay there than I could stop
worrying about him.” I murmured rigidly.

     The fire came back into his eyes. “Maya, he won’t ever
come near you again.”

     I appreciated his support, but he couldn’t guarantee
that. “Landon, if he is Nola’s father he might have a say.” I hated even
acknowledging that possibility. “I wish I had made some report afterwards, at
least then something would have been written down about it. I would have some
sort of leg to stand on.”

     “Why didn’t you?” His voice was harshly tortured and
his eyes seemed to swim with questions.

     Because at the time all I had wanted to do was find a
hole and crawl into it. Leaning back I wrapped my arms around my middle. After
four years it had gotten easier to talk about it, but it still left me cold.

     I stared over his shoulder unable to look him in the
eye. “I went to my doctor afterwards…on my own. She gave me an exam, took some
samples. She said that while I had looked like I had sex recently there weren’t
any signs of force and no semen. She warned me that even if my blood and urine results
showed drugs it would be difficult to prove it was rape.”

     Anger suffused his face. “She told you not to report
it.”

     “No, she wanted me to, she was just warning me it would
be difficult to prove. She’d testified in several rape cases and women who had
more evidence than me hadn’t been able to prove rape. After I heard that it
kind of seemed hopeless, so I didn’t.” That’s when I’d gone looking for my
hole.

     “What did the drug results show?” He asked huskily.

     “There was a small amount of Rohypnol. I’d gotten sick
at some point and she said that had probably decreased the levels.” I didn’t
remember getting sick, but there had been vomit on the floor and Kris had
laughed and said I must have drank a little too much. I’d known it wasn’t that
though.

     Landon shot up off the chair and paced away, and I
watched him in rigid nervousness. It wasn’t easy revealing these things, and I
knew he was going to want more. Four years ago it had taken me two days to work
up the courage to call him to tell him what his brother had done to me. I’d
felt so tainted and I thought he would think the same thing, and there was also
the concern that he wouldn’t believe me. But my desire to see him had
overridden those fears; an image of him walking in my room and enfolding me in
his arms making everything better got stuck in my head. I’d wanted that so
much…I’d craved it.  

     But that had just ended up being a dream. Instead I’d
ended up with the nightmare.

     He turned and his face was hard in fury and torment.
“You got sick from the drug he gave you?”

     I swallowed my memories and nodded and he began pacing
again.

     “Fuck!” He exploded. Halting in front of the fireplace
he gripped the mantle tightly. “I hate this.” Spinning around he pinned me with
his gaze. “Why were you there? I’ve been trying to figure out why you would go
to the house, how you would have ended up in that room with him, but…” He
seemed at a loss.

     I stood up myself and walked to the window. I hated
having to reveal my stupidity. “He called me the day before. Said the family
was planning a surprise party for you, because you were going off to college. He
said since I was your girlfriend I might want to be apart of it.” My voice
lowered in shame. “I wanted to…be involved. I was so excited that he’d called
and asked me to help. I had no idea what he had planned.”