Laney (22 page)

Lola hopped up onto the chaise again and I snuggled beside her. I ran my fingers through her soft fur and tried my best to act like nothing was wrong, even though my world still felt like it was spiraling out of control. I avoided looking at Julz, figuring the sight of her would throw me over the edge. My stomach was uneasy, my chest was tight, and my heart hurt. There was a lump in my throat and my head was throbbing.
I’m stuck here
. I wanted to confront him. I wanted answers, but I wasn’t sure I wanted the answer to what she was to him. I just wanted to erase it from my mind. I wanted him to be mine and only mine. I was afraid he’d tell me he wasn’t. I bit my lip so I wouldn’t cry; it helped and, eventually, I fell asleep it that warm, comfortable spot with the dog.

I woke up with my arm wrapped around Lola. She sounded almost like she was purring. It was a bizarre sound, and even more bizarre that it was coming out of a dog. I sat up and stretched and she turned so she could put her head in my lap. I smiled while rubbing her big head. The room was dark and quiet except for the faint glow and crackle from the fireplace.

A lamp in the corner by the couch flicked on and Oliver was sitting there watching me. “She really likes you,” his voice had a hint of irritation to it.

I was nervous. I was going to have to face what was going on.

“Let’s go home,” he said, getting up from the couch.

“What?” I was confused; it couldn’t be morning already.

“It’s uncomfortable for you here. I can feel it.” He held his hand out to me.

“I’m fine. We can stay.”
What the hell was I saying? This was my perfect out.

“Laney, please stop lying to me,” he said quietly. He sounded sad and frustrated.

I sighed, gave Lola another rub and whispered, “Goodbye.” She whimpered and stared at me with her big, beautiful, golden-amber eyes.

I took Oliver’s hand and he led me out to the car. It was dark out.

“Shouldn’t I say Goodbye?” I asked, as he opened the car door for me.

“Everyone’s asleep.” He still had that hint of irritation in his voice. I didn’t believe that. It was dark, but not late enough for them to be asleep.

“What about our stuff?” I asked.

“I never brought it in,” he said it flatly. He closed my door once I was in.

I waited nervously as he got in and started the car. He didn’t say anything to me as we drove away.

It was a long, quiet ride home. We didn’t speak a word to each other, which gave me time to go over what I had seen and heard. It upset me even more now to think about it and it pissed me off immensely.

Does he know what I saw? Why isn’t he talking to me? Why is Julz such a bitch? Why do I want someone so badly that might hurt me?

This thought process continued the entire way home, so that by the time we got back, there was a knot in my stomach that ached terribly. My head felt like it was going to explode from trying not to cry, and I thought I might throw up. I was ready to scream.

Chapter 24 - Get Out!

Back in my apartment, he dropped my bag on the couch. I was fuming inside. How could he not tell? I felt both hostility and hysteria surfacing.

He wrapped his arms around me from behind and kissed the side of my neck. I kept my arms crossed, my body rigid. I was ready for some answers and I wanted them now!

He spun me around to look at my face. “What is wrong with you?”

“I saw you!” It came out with a bit of venom to it.

“Saw me what?” He seemed sincerely clueless.

“I’m not sure what I saw, but it was something,” I said, breaking away from his hold.

“What are you talking about?” It seemed he still had no idea.

Sure. Play stupid! Maybe vampires were good at that.
“You and Julz. I saw you two. You were holding hands and I heard her tell you that I’m torture for you.” I kept my voice low and mocking.

“Laney, that was nothing. It’s not what it looked like.” His expression didn’t fade, but the light in his eyes did.

“It’s always what it looks like!” I said through gritted teeth. “I saw the two of you together,” my voice was getting louder and I couldn’t control it. “Is there something going on between the two of you?”

“No! Don’t be like this. Quiet down, please.” He reached for me again and I took a step back.

“Was there ever anything between you two?” Tears stung my eyes.

“No,” he said flatly. I wasn’t convinced.

Fury burst inside me and I screamed, “Don’t lie to me! I saw you!” His eyes widened; he was shocked. So was I, but I tried not to show it.

“Laney, calm down. There is nothing going on between us; there never has been.” He was coming toward me.

“No!” I pushed his arms away. “Tell me the truth—or are you willing to lose me over this?”

His eyes narrowed. “You don’t mean that.”

I crossed my arms and held my ground.

“Laney, you’re being irrational. What do you want me to say?”

I want you to say there’s nothing between the two of you and that you love me and only me! Say you don’t love her!
“Go,” I said under my breath.

“No,” he said quietly.

“Why don’t you just go to her, then? She’s better for you.” The rage was back in my voice. Quiet now, but still there.

“Nobody is better for me than you. Look at me.” He came toward me again, reaching out to pull me close.

I glared at him, but it didn’t stop him.

“You are my world,” he said softly, trying to unfold my arms.

“Go now!” I yelled, shoving him with all my little might. He didn’t budge.

“No, I won’t leave you. Ever!” He kept his voice level.

I cut him off before he could say more, “Go now before I…” I broke off and started sobbing, tears rolling down my cheeks. This was killing me. The look on his face and the sadness in his eyes only made it worse. But I still believed there was something going on, something he was hiding from me.

“Before you what, Laney? You don’t mean this. You’re being unreasonable.”

Well this unreasonable girl was trying her damnedest to shove the vampire she was in love with out of her house—with no luck, of course. He grabbed my hands. I struggled to pull free and he let go. I went to the door and opened it.

“Get out,” my voice cracked.

“No,” his voice was now unsteady.

I let out a frustrated scream and ran for my room. I slammed the door behind me and locked it. I spun around and stared at it. He was immediately on the other side trying to open it.

“Laney, please let me in,” he pleaded.

“No!” I screamed, tears streaming down my face. My chest was tight; I grabbed at it like I could get hold of my heart and make it stop hurting.

He pounded on my door. “Laney, don’t do this! Laney! Let me in!” he yelled.

My stomach felt twisted. How could I have been stupid enough to fall in love with him?

“Laney, please! Please believe me,” he begged. “There’s nothing going on with her. I need you.”

“How can you need me? You can’t even really be with me,” I managed, but my heart wasn’t in it. I wanted him to bust the door down and hold me—to save me from the madness I felt.

He lowered his voice, “Laney, stop. You don’t understand. I love you, Laney.”

It felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. Everything froze; even the pounding on the door stopped.
He just said he loves me
. I started to cry even harder, doubling over.
I wanted him to say it, but not like this. He’s only saying it so I’ll open the door.

He beat on the door again. “I’m sorry. Please, Laney. I need you to understand. I need you…” The last part was quiet.

I dropped onto my bed, curled into a ball, and covered my ears. I could still hear him pleading. I couldn’t take any more of this. I wanted his arms around me. I wanted his cool, faultless lips on mine, those lips that fit perfectly with mine. I wanted to believe she was nothing to him. I wanted to get off the bed and let him in. But I couldn’t; I didn’t have it in me. My body started shaking so badly; it was almost convulsing. I heard him yell my name and pound on the door again. Then everything fell silent.

I uncovered my ears and listened. I heard faint voices from the other side of the door. The voices were quiet, but I could tell they belonged to Kiera and Carter. They were trying to calm Oliver. He still sounded frantic. I heard Kiera raise her voice and tell him to stay where he was. I had nothing left; I felt like I couldn’t even lift my head. I just lay there sobbing and shaking. It felt like my world was ending
.

I could hear Oliver, but I couldn’t understand him.

I heard Carter. “Slow down, dude. What happened?”

For some reason, I couldn’t make out what Oliver was saying.

“No, Oliver. If she told you to leave, I imagine there was a reason for it,” Kiera said.

His voice rose to an ear-piercing level and I could make out every word. “I love her!”

“Dude, maybe that’s not enough,” Carter said.

“She can’t make me stay away!” His voice was outside my door again.

“Don’t, Oliver!” Kiera said. “You stay out here; I’ll check on her.

He let out a frustrated growl. He wasn’t hiding what he was right now.

“Dude, what’s with your teeth?”

Another growl.

“Sorry I asked,” Carter said.

Kiera jiggled the handle. A couple of seconds went by and then she was unlocking my door.
I forgot about the key.
She looked concerned as she sat beside me. “Laney, what’s going on? Oliver is freaking out.”

I didn’t say anything. I just shook and sobbed, that uncontrollable sob that causes your breath to hitch.

“You’re shaking so badly. What happened?” She started rubbing my back.

I was silent. I wanted to tell her I was being ridiculous and jealous and I just wanted him to come in here and hold me. Instead, I continued to weep.

“How bad can it be? I’ve seen the way he looks at you, Laney, and you at him. You guys have something very special, something most of us will only dream about.” I didn’t say anything; her words were just making it worse. I stared past her, trying to control the sobbing and concentrating on breathing.

“Don’t be afraid of the ‘what ifs,’ Laney. What would be worse than never finding out how great this could be?” She paused, maybe waiting to see if I’d respond or even acknowledge she was there. “Listen to your heart, not your brain, and you’ll do the right thing.” She smiled sympathetically at me and left the room, leaving my door open.

I took several deep breaths, trying to calm myself. I needed to do something before someone called the police. I sat up and wiped my eyes.

My chest was aching and my stomach was uneasy. I slowly walked to my door and leaned against the doorframe, still shaking. He was pacing, like a caged animal. Carter and Kiera watched him from the couch.

“Dude, you’re making me dizzy,” Carter said. He had his arm around Kiera like she wasn’t feeling well, her head resting against him. Her voice was quiet, “Just go. Let her calm down and things will be better in the morning.”

Carter added, “Let her sleep on it.”

He stopped pacing with his back to me. “I don’t think I can. I need her.” His voice was strained.

I need you.

“She’s my whole world.”

And you’re mine.
What was I doing?

They both looked past him to me in my doorway. He spun around quickly and rushed to me, much faster than he should have in front of them.

He stood in front of me, trying to read my eyes. “Tell me you don’t love me and I will leave. I won’t bother you again,” his voice was unsteady; his fangs were exposed. The thought of never seeing him, never touching him again, was unbearable.

I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand and looked him hard in the eyes.

I love him so much it hurts.

“I love you.” My voice cracked.

He released a sigh and relief filled his eyes. He leaned in and kissed me without holding back and I kissed him back, hard. His hands were on either side of my face. As I slid my arms around him and pulled myself closer to him, he wrapped his arms around me and picked me up off the floor. I wrapped my legs around his waist and ran my fingers up into the back of his hair. He kicked my bedroom door shut as we made it over to my bed. Still holding me firmly against his body, he laid us down on the bed with me under him. His mouth never left mine. This was dangerous and I didn’t care. I wanted him and I wanted him now!

I came up for a breath and he continued to kiss me across my neck and onto my chest where my shirt scooped down low, exposing just enough cleavage. His fingers brushed lightly up my leg and along my waist, trailing along the side of my bra and up to my neck as his body pressed harder against mine—which made it obvious he wanted me right now, too. My breath caught as his lips started to make their way back up to my neck where he lingered. I felt his cool breath coming rapidly and then two razor sharp pricks pressing on my neck. I gasped, my back arching me against his body. I didn’t care. I
didn’t care if he killed me as long as I could be with him, really be with him, to be his forever.

He pulled away from my neck and looked into my eyes. “I love you, Laney.” He kissed me again before I could respond. This kiss had passion in it that I had never felt before. His body moved with mine. He smelled fantastic and it seemed stronger than before.

Suddenly, he stopped and he adjusted himself to rest his head on my chest. He relaxed his body on mine.

“That was dangerous,” he whispered.

I said nothing. My body was too wired from the humming I felt inside. I was also a little disappointed he’d stopped.

He wrapped his arms around me and rolled onto his back pulling me with him so that my body was curled up next to him and my head was on his chest. I rested my head there, listening to his heart.

“I’m sorry for freaking out,” I whispered.

He pressed his cool lips to my forehead and squeezed me tight.

“I could feel you were sorry, that you didn’t mean it.” He brushed my hair behind my ear. “Although, there was a moment when I thought you were serious.”

I felt guilty. I squeezed him tight and nuzzled my face into his chest. He smelled so good.

“Laney, I need you to understand that there are things I can’t tell you. I wish I could, but I can’t. There is nothing more important to me than you. Please believe me that there is nothing going on with me and Julz. Never has been, never will be.”

I believed him. Despite the fact that in the back of my mind something said not to. I ignored it.

He ran his fingers up and down my spine which caused the sensations to continue. We were quiet for a while, just holding each other.

“Do you want me to leave so you can get some sleep?” he asked softly.

I lifted my head to look at him. “Are you crazy? I can’t sleep if you leave.”

He chuckled and hugged me tight. “No problem. You’re never getting rid of me.”

“Promise?” I whispered, resting my head back against his chest.

“Nope.”

“No?” My head snapped up; I was surprised and a bit offended.

“Promises are for those who can’t keep them,” he said, quickly kissing me on the lips.

The corner of my mouth raised into a smile and I snuggled back into his arms with my head on his chest. His heart beat was so slow. I wondered how long it had been since he had eaten. Fed? Whatever he called it, I wondered if he was hungry. “I can hear your heart; it’s beating really slowly,” I said quietly.

“Not always. You should’ve heard it earlier.”

My eyelids became heavy as I listened to the slow thumping of his heart. I was almost asleep when his phone rang.

“Hey,” he answered and listened.

“No, Julz! Not this time. You’ve caused enough trouble today.” I cuddled him closer and he held me tighter.
He raised his voice. “You can deal with it!” He hung up and released a frustrated groan.

“What?” I asked quietly.

“The gothic princess is a drama queen.” He rested the arm not holding me over his eyes. I smile at his use of my name for her.

The phone rang again. “What?” he snapped.

“Oh, sorry, Hayden.” He listened again.

“I’m sorry you have to deal with this. Call Felix; he’ll help you.”

He was quiet for a moment.

“I don’t know. Sedate her or something. Good luck.”

I looked at him and raised an eyebrow. “Sedate her?

“I don’t know. I’m done dealing with her drama. I’m sure I’ll pay for it later.”

He quickly kissed my lips again. “Now get some sleep.”

I settled back onto his chest.

Its funny how not looking at someone gives you more courage. “Can vampires have babies?” I asked.

“Yes, though it’s rare. Infant mortality is high, especially with mortals, and even if the baby survives, the mothers rarely do.”

“Oh.” I was disappointed. I wanted him and everything about him. I was just a measly mortal and I couldn’t give him a piece of us together. I felt tears starting to surface. I needed to change the subject. “Why did Oscar say those things? Did you steal Julz from your brother?”