Lanterns and Lace (23 page)

I wondered if this was how life passed from one hell to another.

“Is there anyone for me to contact?” he said.

Jessica shook her head. “Surely you understand.” She peered up at me. “No family. No one that matters but Ellen.”

I started to mention you but thought better of it. Jessica had her reasons.

“I understand.” Grant’s deep, soft voice comforted even me.

“My baby,” she said. “Will you . . . take my baby? If she stays here, she’ll be working by the time she’s eleven.”

“Of course,” Grant said. “I’d be honored to find a home for her.”

“No, please.” She searched for strength. “I want you to have her. I’m giving my baby girl to you.”

Frustration stole across his face. “I can’t raise a baby. I’m not married. There’s no one to tend to her.”

Pale, weak, and trembling, Jessica fought for strength to continue. “Please, promise me.” Her eyes never left her baby’s face.

“You don’t know what you’re asking.”

“Because I’m a whore?”

“Absolutely not.” Long moments followed, heavy as though the thoughts going through Grant’s mind swung like a pendulum. He stared at the infant’s peaceful face. “If you don’t get better, I’ll adopt and raise her as my own daughter.”

Using one foot, he pulled a chair to her bedside and sat with the baby partially in his arms yet resting near Jessica’s heart. “She is so very beautiful.”

Jessica smiled. She seemed to marvel at the tiny turned-up nose, rosebud mouth, and the long, thick lashes curling up from sleepy eyes. Oh, and she had that thick dark hair then, too. Such an exquisite creature, so delicate, so perfect.

“Her name is Rebecca,” Jessica whispered.

“A lovely name.” Grant’s gaze swept over Jessica’s face. “Do you know Jesus?”

She closed her eyes. “Jesus has no use for the likes of me. It’s too late now.”

“No matter what happens, it’s not too late. Would you like to talk to the reverend?”

She took a deep breath and hesitated. Finally, she nodded.

He turned to me. “Would you mind going after the reverend? He should be at the parsonage.”

I hurried to find the reverend just as I’d done earlier to fetch Grant. The tall, white-haired gentleman did not hesitate. As always, he had the undeniable look of caring on his lined face. Within moments, we joined Jessica, the baby, and Grant.

“Thank you,” Grant said to his stepfather and laid tiny Rebecca at Jessica’s side. “Do you want Ellen and me to leave?”

“No. Please, stay with me,” she said.

Reverend Rainer took her hand and eased into the chair beside her bed. His soft gray eyes extended a rare kind of love.

“I’m dying,” she said simply. “Help me. I’m scared.”

I swiped at the tears. I was losing the only friend I’d ever known.

*****

Ellen walked back to the settee and sat on the soft cushion. “She found life in Jesus and allowed Him to take her home. That’s the story. So sad, yet it had a beautiful ending.”

Jenny blinked back her tears. “Rebecca has a fine father and a beautiful family, and I would never have known a fine woman like you.”

Ellen smiled. “Grant had a rough time of it in the beginning. Folks believed he was the father. I stayed with the reverend and Jocelyn. Then I found a place to live with the Widow Lewis. Grant’s mother and the reverend helped him with the baby, but he wanted to do it all himself.”

Jenny remembered Grant telling her about those early days with a new baby.

“So he bought a big house, and Miss Mimi came to live with him and Rebecca.”

Jenny’s mind spun with the story. The truth had been bittersweet. Perhaps the time had come for her to go home to Cleveland. These people had endured enough of life’s interruptions. They needed peace.

“Higher,” Rebecca squealed while Jenny lightly pushed on the rope swing in Grant’s rear yard.

“You’ll be touching the limbs soon,” Jenny said.

“No, I not.” Rebecca’s cheeks flushed with excitement. “Higher, please.”

You are Miss Mischief. “I can’t, sweetheart. It’s dangerous for you to swing so far. I love you too much to risk your getting hurt.”

Rebecca puckered up to give her finest pout, but Jenny ignored the protruding lower lip. Instead, she hurried around the tree and faced the little girl on the opposite side of the swing.

“I’ve got you!” She lifted Rebecca from the wooden seat into her own arms. “Now I have a little butterfly, and she can’t ever fly away.”

Rebecca squirmed and giggled, her brown curls bouncing. “Let me go. Me a butterfly.”

“Whoa, there,” Grant said from the doorway. “What’s going on out here?”

Jenny laughed, not once taking her eyes from the little girl’s angelic face.

“My butterfly is trying to fly away.”

He walked toward them and pressed his lips tight—no doubt to conceal a smile. “We will have none of that. Shall I find a cage? No loose butterflies at this house.”

“Oh, yes, a cage is a splendid idea.” Jenny caught a glint in his eyes. Her pulse quickened, and she hastily glanced away.

“No cage,” Rebecca said between laughs.

Jenny pulled her down into the soft green grass. At first the little girl didn’t mind being held, but soon she wiggled free and ran to the swing.

“Swing me, Papa.” She held on to the rope with both hands and tried futilely to jump onto the wooden seat.

“I will later. I promise.” Grant bent to her level. “I need to talk to your aunt Jenny. Why don’t you visit Mimi? She’s in the kitchen baking an apple cobbler, and I think she needs your help. She might want you to help stir.”

Rebecca raced inside with her chubby little legs working so fast that she nearly stumbled.

“Am I in trouble?” Jenny hoped her words masked what being alone with him did to her heart.

“No, ma’am.” He peered around. “Where are Martha and the boys?”

“The baby grew a little fussy, and the older boy didn’t want to stay with me.”

“How is she today?”

Jenny hesitated, wanting to form the right words without sounding frustrated. “Sad. Very sad. I asked her if I could do anything to help, but she said no.”

“What else did she say. Your face says there’s more.”

Jenny tilted her head. She wouldn’t repeat the hurtful words about her and Jessica causing enough trouble. “I think it’s time I boarded the train back to Cleveland.”

Grant frowned. “Why?”

“Your town needs to go back to the serenity it enjoyed before I came.”

“You’ve made some wonderful friendships here.”

What about you? “True, I have. But I need to leave before long. I have a teaching responsibility.”

“I understand.” He paused and stared at her intently, but she couldn’t read the strange, faraway look in his eyes. “I learned something earlier today and thought you might be ready for some good news.”

“And what might that be?”

“Aubrey Turner left town.” Grant stuck his hands in his trouser pockets and leaned against the oak tree housing the swing.

Could it be true? Startled, Jenny could only wring her hands. “Does this mean he’s given up on finding the money?”

“I guess so. Harold said he checked out of the boardinghouse and planned to head back to Cleveland.”

“Cleveland?” She’d be no better off at home than here, except those she treasured would be safe.

Grant shook his head. “I don’t know what I was thinking. Turner will be there when you get back, most likely causing more trouble than here.” He palmed his fist into his hand. “You can’t go home now. It’s not safe.”

His words played over in her mind. Did he truly care, or was she reading something into his words that didn’t exist? “I’ll contact the local police when I return.” She glanced up into the tree holding the swing. “He may be very tired of dealing with the Martin sisters.” As you are, I’m sure.

As the evening wore on, Jenny went through the motions of a gracious guest. Her mother would have been proud. The children were a grand distraction from the animosity she felt from Martha, and Grant kept himself occupied with keeping everyone civil. After supper Jenny helped Mimi tidy up the kitchen before slipping out the back door to the boardinghouse. She left without saying good-bye to Grant or Rebecca, and she doubted if Grant realized her absence.

Misery took every step with her. A peculiar feeling, or rather an inner sensation, urged her to make a decision. The inclination had needled her for days. The guilt of selfishness had reached its climax, and she must act soon. If she stayed much longer, she’d find herself so hopelessly in love with Grant that everyone would know.

Grant’s gestures and mannerisms were a part of her forever. Even his fondness for licorice lingered. She nearly laughed aloud as she recalled him dipping the black candy sticks into coffee. As it was, she might never recover. Neither did she want to. The splendor of simply existing in the same room with him brought her pulse to dangerously high levels. Sometimes the mere thought of him sent her emotions soaring like a flock of birds that kept climbing higher into the clouds.

Never seeing Grant or Rebecca again wrenched her heart. The ache of loving both of them hurt beyond belief. How foolish of her to dream about the three of them becoming a real family. She could make a multitude of excuses to stay, but it wasn’t fair to any of them. She’d uprooted their lives with her foolish notion of taking Rebecca back to Cleveland, and then that wretched Aubrey Turner had followed her, causing more unrest.

Unsettled affairs did bring some uncertainty, particularly deciphering Jessica’s journal. But Grant was brilliant. He’d easily solve the riddle and recover the money. If Turner was indeed wanted for unspeakable crimes, Ben would alert the authorities in Cleveland.

Dear Ellen. Already Jenny missed her treasured friendship. They’d grown so close—the friend Jenny had always wanted. The more she prayed about the matter, the more leaving seemed to be the best choice, and it must happen tomorrow or her resolve would weaken. Knowing that all those dear to her heart would be safe and content lifted her spirits. Reverend Rainer had said God would always walk with her, even in Cleveland, where she didn’t know a single Christian. But she could find a church and start life anew.

Lighting the kerosene lamp on the dresser in her room, Jenny lay across the bed and picked up pen and paper. Her mind drifted back to the first time she had met Dr. Grant Andrews. Oh, my, she’d been so ill at the train station. On and on the memories flowed until stinging tears brought it all to a peak. Drying her eyes, Jenny determined to stop prolonging the inevitable and write the letter. Dipping the pen into the inkwell, she began pouring out her heart.

Dear Grant,

By the time you receive this, I will be on my way back to Cleveland. I can no longer stay here in Kahlerville in good conscience. The time has come for me to give you and your dear family and friends much-deserved rest and peace.

Words can never express what you, your family, and friends have done for me. Even as I write this, I weep for those faces I will never see or touch again. Believe me, I now have beautiful memories of those who will always hold a special place in my heart. Most important, I now have Jesus, and I know that someday I will see all of you in heaven.

For me to say, “thank you,” sounds so insignificant for all you’ve done for me—not just your outward hospitality, but also your encouragement and prayers. Please let everyone know I will never forget their goodness, and I will always keep them in my thoughts and prayers. I found a true friend in Ellen. She is so dear to me.

Grant, you are indeed the best father God could have provided for Rebecca. Jessica must have recognized your wonderful traits even as she lay dying, and I saw it each time you were with your daughter. I love every inch of Rebecca, and I know with your guidance and love she will grow into a godly young woman.

As for the journal, I want you to have it for Rebecca. Someday when she is grown, she will want to read about her mama. When you are able to locate the money, I want it for your and Rebecca’s welfare, as we discussed previously. If there is any left over, I’d like a fund established to help those girls who formerly worked at the brothel.

I am so sorry for all the trouble I caused. I only wish I could have found the Lord earlier and spared you my disagreeable temperament. Truly believe me, Grant, my heart aches for the sorrow I inflicted upon you. I really was a self-centered, impetuous woman, and I am deeply ashamed of my actions.

I could not leave Kahlerville without telling you the most important reason why I must go home. You have been to me what no man has ever been before. From the very beginning, you welcomed me and took care of me while I plotted to destroy everything you loved and cherished. Even then, you reached out in a special friendship that I grasped like a child. For the first time in years, I was a student again, and you were the teacher. No matter what I threatened, you responded in a manner that I later learned was Christlike. But then I fell in love with you. There, I said it, and I’ve lived with this knowledge for so many days. Goodness, I certainly did not intend for it to happen, but you see, it does not matter any longer. I am on a train traveling as fast as I can away from you. Your life can now go back to normal. I wish you well, the best our Lord can give.

I plan to write Ellen and Mimi a letter tonight, too. Mimi was better to me than my own mother. She loved me through so many horrible cooking experiences and such ignorance about life. I’ll miss her stories and her gentleness.

Please give Rebecca a hug and kiss for me. I miss you both already. You cannot find me in Ohio. Ironically enough, I don’t have an address. It is better this way, you know. Just forget the summer, but remember those days will be with me forever.

I love you and Rebecca more than life itself. Take care and God bless you.

Jenny

She reread the letter twice. With a muffled sob, she folded it over and slipped it inside an envelope. Not really satisfied with the contents, but not quite sure how to phrase all the secrets of her heart, Jenny set it aside and wrote the others.

Tomorrow morning Mr. Snyder’s son would carry her trunk and bags to an awaiting wagon. She’d graciously thank Mr. Snyder for all of his kindness and settle the bill. She’d entrust the letters to him and board the Union Pacific Railroad on the way back to Cleveland, Ohio. The people of Kahlerville would never again be troubled because of her.