Last Chance (17 page)

Once that punishment had passed and she had full knowledge of the

boundaries and guidelines, they could enjoy the peace and harmony of a

happily married couple.

London

Lucas reread the incredibly thorough report. He'd complimented

Phelps and his team of investigators on being so detailed, but the man

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admitted it had taken almost no effort to come up with all the facts.

Everything was on record, out in the open for the world to see.

McKenna Sloan
. She hadn't even bothered to change her name. He

wondered about that for barely a second before he concluded that it was just

one more way McKenna punished herself. Anyone, anywhere, if they

wished, could read about the atrocious things that had happened to her

family. Things that McKenna no doubt blamed herself for. And why

shouldn't she when the state of Nebraska had done their best to prosecute her

for the crimes?

What the bastard had done to her family was horrific, but what he had

done to McKenna made Lucas want to rip the bastard apart. Too bad he was

dead. Dying in a fire caused by a prison riot had been too good for him. He

had escaped his punishment through death, but McKenna continued to

punish herself even today.

That was why she didn't want to form a relationship. Why she refused

the slightest bit of companionship. She didn't feel as though she deserved to

be happy. He recognized the guilt. Lucas had lived with his own for years. It

was something he had come to accept. McKenna hadn't come to that point

yet.

But there had to be more than that. Why did she seem so terrified?

She wasn't hiding from the law for the crimes. Though they had tried to

prosecute her, all charges had eventually been dropped. So why the hell did

she act as though someone or something was chasing her?

"So are you going to go after her now?"

He looked up to see Jared in the doorway. The man was determined to

marry him off. Jared had married a year ago. Since then, when he wasn't

investigating something for Kane Enterprises, he was a harassing

matchmaker.

"Nothing's changed."

"Like hell nothing's changed. You now know the reasons she acts the

way she does. From the looks of it, she needs you even more than you need

her."

"And what would you suggest I say to her when I find her? 'McKenna,

I've investigated your past and I want to fix your hurts'?" Lucas shook his

head. He knew what he had done wasn't something she would easily forgive.

"You don't have to tell her anything, but now that you know, you can

show her she's safe with you."

That wasn't an issue. Lucas didn't bother telling Jared that he knew for

a fact that McKenna felt safe with him. That wasn't what worried him. Trust

wasn't the problem. It was the fact that McKenna so obviously felt she didn't

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deserve happiness. And how the hell could he explain that she deserved to

be happy without telling her that he knew about her past? Damned if he

would show her that her trust had been breached. If she knew, her faith in

him would be completely gone.

Guilt niggled at him for having this information, but despite that, he'd

do it again. She was clearly not going to tell him, and until he knew her

problems, how could he fix them for her? Now he knew her problems--and,

dammit, still had no idea how to fix them.

Aware that Jared waited for an answer, Lucas closed the file and

stood. "McKenna knows she's safe with me. That's not an issue."

"What is the issue, then? The damnable guilt?"

Lucas wouldn't answer that question. Wouldn't do any good. Jared's

parents had died when he was a child. Having been raised in orphanages and

foster homes, he had welcomed working for IDC.

For Lucas it hadn't been that simple. His father had expected Lucas to

take over years ago. Because of his commitment to the agency, he hadn't

been able to do that. Though Phillip Kane had been proud of his son for

serving his country, Lucas knew he'd also been disappointed.

Lucas hadn't understood his father's reluctance. What was the big deal

of coming a little late to the company? It wasn't as if Kane Enterprises would

just disappear. It hadn't; but his father had. To this day, Lucas would blame

himself for not taking over sooner. If his father had been able to retire

earlier, might he still have been alive today?

"Maybe if you go to McKenna and tell her about your own guilt, it

will help her with hers."

"You know I can't tell her about the agency."

"I'm not saying you have to tell her everything, but you can tell her

enough to help her understand you know where she's coming from."

"Have you told Lara about your experience?"

Jared's eyes widened, as if shocked Lucas had even asked. "Hell, no.

That'd scare the shit out of her. Having her think of me as her loving and

slightly geeky husband is exactly what I want...because it's what she wants."

Lucas studied his friend. Was that the way it should be? Secrets to

make sure the other one stayed happy? Was that a real marriage? Hell, he

hoped not. Jared claimed to be content, but how was that possible when the

real you is hidden? Sounded like a miserable way to live.

Lucas shrugged off his disquiet. Jared's life was his own. Talking

about this stuff with anyone, even his best friend, was something he just

wasn't comfortable with. "Tell me what you've come up with on

Humphries."

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"Not much more than what we knew before. Doesn't appear to be

gambling anymore, unless he's doing it under an alias. Are you sure you

don't want to reconsider pressing charges for embezzlement?"

Lucas nodded grimly. Another thing Jared wouldn't understand.

Humphries had been a friend of his father's. The older man's resentment of

Lucas had been vague at first but had grown as policies had shifted from his

father's old-school philosophies. Phillip Kane had been a good businessman

and Lucas admired him tremendously. That didn't mean Lucas didn't have

his own ideas. Humphries didn't approve of those and apparently felt little

loyalty toward him.

"We'll just leave it as it is for now."

Jared blew out a frustrated huff but didn't pursue it further. He knew

Lucas wouldn't change his mind.

The opening of his study door brought his head around to see Conrad

standing just inside the room.

"You have a visitor, sir."

Lucas's heart slammed against his chest. Conrad wouldn't disturb him

unless it was one particular visitor.

"McKenna?"

"Yes sir."

The frown on Conrad's face wasn't normal. "What's wrong?"

"She doesn't appear well, sir. I took her to--"

Lucas shot out the door and headed to the north parlor. After that day

last month, he had begun to think of it as McKenna's room.

Stopping at the entrance, his eyes took in the wet and bedraggledlooking waif standing at the fireplace. "McKenna?"

She whirled around and reached out to grab the mantel as if she were

having trouble standing. "I shouldn't have come."

Lucas stalked toward her, noting not only her soaked clothing but also

the bright glaze of her eyes and the hot flush covering her pale cheeks,

indicating a fever. Holding out his hand, he said, "This is the only place you

should have come."

She looked at his hand and shook her head. "I have a slight cold. I

may be contagious."

Cold? He doubted it. She had the flu, maybe worse. "I'm as healthy as

an ox; I don't catch colds. Have a seat and let me get you some tea."

What he wanted to do was strip off her wet clothes, wrap her in

blankets, and haul her off to a hospital. Even as sick as she was, she would

resist him. So he would ease her into bed and call his family doctor. If she

had to go to the hospital, he'd deal with her resistance then.

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Before he could turn, he knew Conrad was there. "Would you mind

getting us a cup of hot tea?"

"Not at all, sir," Conrad said.

Her teeth chattering, McKenna sank onto the sofa. "It's raining

outside. Did you know?"

"It does that quite often here."

"Yes, I suppose it does." She blinked at him as if she were trying to

stay awake. "Are you well?"

"Yes." He looked down at her soaked feet. "Let's get those shoes off

so Conrad won't fuss about getting the carpets wet."

As he had suspected, if she thought she was causing any kind of

problem, that became an immediate concern. She slipped off her soaked

running shoes. Lucas went to his knees, pulled off her wet socks, and held

her slender, icy feet in his hands. Other than kissing her, this was the most

intimate thing she'd ever allowed him to do. Stupid, but he suddenly felt a

giant surge of arousal. Hell, if he ever got all of her clothes off, he'd explode

immediately.

"Everything okay?"

Lucas looked over his shoulder at Jared, who stood in the doorway.

Should've known his friend wouldn't be able to resist meeting the woman

Lucas had been obsessed with.

He turned back to McKenna to gauge her expression. The last thing he

wanted was to alarm her. Jared's dark scowl had frightened more than one

person. Thankfully, McKenna didn't seem to see his friend as any kind of

threat.

"McKenna, this is a friend of mine, Jared Livingston. Jared, this is

McKenna."

McKenna gave a halfhearted smile to Jared and then looked down at

Lucas, who was still kneeling. "I should have called first."

"You did exactly as you should have."

The sound of a rolling tea cart brought Lucas to his feet. Conrad

placed it beside a small table and poured a cup. Without asking, he

sweetened it with three sugar cubes and then gave it to Lucas.

Lucas sat beside McKenna and handed her the steaming liquid.

"Drink."

Her hands were shaking so badly he thought he might have to hold it

for her. When he was assured that she could hold it herself, he shot Conrad a

look. The man knew him well. With a small nod of understanding, Conrad

walked out the door. Lucas's doctor would be here within the half hour.

McKenna sipped the hot, soothing liquid and let the warmth seep into

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her bones. Both men stared down at her as if she had two heads. She

probably looked like crap but couldn't make herself care. She felt like crap.

She tried to ignore them as she concentrated on maintaining her grip

on the cup in her hand. Taking slow, careful sips, McKenna willed herself to

feel better. Coming here had been a stupid thing to do, but she didn't know

where else to go. She'd been in Northampton on a job and had suddenly felt

so ill she knew she wouldn't make it back to her apartment in Paris.

Stupid not to go to a hospital, but if she did, she might say something

she didn't want anyone to hear. She had fake identification, but if she was

out of her head and said something incriminating to the wrong person, then

everything could start all over again. She couldn't bear that. Probably should

have just gone to a hotel here and sweated it out. A nice one with room

service that would deliver chicken soup or whatever it was she needed to get

her well again.

She had called Noah but had given him only the barest of facts. Just

that she had a bad cold and was taking a few days off. If she had told him

how ill she was, he would have sent someone for her. Made sure she was

taken care of.

Yes, she could have done any of those things, but she hadn't. She had

wanted to see Lucas. He was her safe haven. Whether she wanted to admit it

to him or not, being with him gave her a feeling of completeness she'd never

felt before. But that had to stop. Once she was better, she would leave.

Maybe she should consider moving out of Europe. She only knew how to

speak English and French, but that didn't mean she couldn't learn another

language. It would be a new challenge.

Italy. She liked Italy...no, wait, that was still Europe. Where could she

move? McKenna searched her foggy brain, her mind grappling for another

country she could move to. For the life of her, she couldn't come up with

one. Were there any left?

"McKenna, I'm going to put you to bed now."

Her head heavy on her shoulders, she looked up and blinked at the

man standing in front of her. Lucas? Where had he come from? Her eyes

tried to focus as his features blurred. "Lucas?"

Strong arms lifted her and she felt herself being carried somewhere.

She didn't care where Lucas took her as long as he didn't let her go.

"I'm not going to let you go, McKenna. Ever."

His voice, gentle and masculine at the same time, strummed through

her senses like warm honey. A bout of shivering attacked her, dispelling the

warmth. "So cold."

"We'll get you warm soon enough. Just hold on."

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She felt masculine hands tugging at her wet clothes.
No...should try to

stop them
. No one had the right to touch her without her say-so. Then she

heard Lucas again. His voice, soft but insistent, told her to relax; she had