Last Chance Proposal (10 page)

A shadow passed across his face and he hesitated before saying, “Sure. We’ll come out when we’ve finished the coffee.”

“Sorry you missed the opening of the stockings,” he said when Fleur had gone outside. “As soon as Jonty opened his presents at home he got dressed and headed out the door wanting to see what Louis got. I don’t know if you noticed, but this is the first time since he’s been here that he hasn’t worn his scarf.”

“Oh, Cy that’s fantastic!”

“It’s still in his back pocket, but I think there’s so much going on here that he’s happy to focus on other things. I was about to knock on your door when we arrived, but the boys were too quick. I told them we had to wait until dinner for the rest of the presents.” He threw her a lopsided grin that alighted on her skin. The thumping of the swords faded into the distance as the boys moved off the deck.

“Thanks for doing that for Louis.” Ellie busied herself tidying wrapping paper so she didn’t have to look at him but her heart softened at his thoughtfulness. “Money’s pretty tight for Fleur.”

Cy swiped the air. “It’s nothing. He’s a great kid and he’s been great for Jonty. Katie went into Papaatawhai for me and got everything yesterday.”

She reached for the coffee. “Want one?”

“Sure,” he said and she passed him the steaming cup. “I want to apologize for the other day.”

“We need sugar.” She swiveled abruptly and walked into the kitchen in search of the sugar, heat flooding her cheeks. God, why was she reacting like this?

“Ellie?”

She stilled, trying to reconcile her reaction to him. Straightening her spine, she found a neutral expression and turned.

He stood in the middle of the tiny lounge, one hand slung in his shorts pocket, the other dragging across his chin. “Thursday…” He cleared his throat. “It was a perfect day. A perfect day that I should’ve put an end to about half an hour earlier.”

“So why didn’t you?” She stood frozen to the spot and realized she was holding her breath.

He lifted a shoulder and let it fall. “I’m not sure, really. Maybe relief that things were panning out so well. Maybe nostalgia and the fact that I still feel close to you. But those two things are all about me. I wasn’t thinking enough about you.”

She blinked and moistened her lips. “As I said, it’s an emotional time, but it’s other people we need to pretend for, not each other.” She tried to make her voice sound light. “The only future you and I have is the next year, and our focus has to be Jonty. After that I’m going to get on with what I was doing before you came back here, trying to build my business so I can stay in New Zealand. I know you’ve explained why you had to leave back then, but it doesn’t undo the fact you hurt me and I’m not going to let that happen again.”

He held her gaze for a long moment and then nodded. “I hope we can put it behind us and get on with enjoying Christmas then.”

Put it behind them. It was exactly what they needed to do. What she had to do. So why was her chest so tight that she could barely draw breath?

“There’s not going to be a Christmas if I don’t get dressed. There’s the turkey to put on, the peas to shell. And I have a whole lot of potatoes that need to be scrubbed if you’re up for it.”

He pulled her close and hugged her. “Sounds perfect.”

“
Whew, I’m stuffed!” Louis pushed his empty dessert plate away and slumped against the back of his chair. The sparkly wrap and dubious innards from Christmas crackers lay strewn across the table and the white cloth was stained with red wine and grape juice. A heat haze of roast dinner and burning sun hovered in the air.

Cy stood and slapped a fist on his chest. “Time to do the rest of these dishes, men. Looks like these ladies could do with a snooze.”

Louis turned a stricken face to his mother. “Can Jonty and I go test our new skimboards, Mum? We need to do it before everyone goes down for the cricket. Promise we’ll help clean up later.”

“Maybe Ellie and Cy will go watch you while I finish up these plates.”

Ellie looked out across the deck to where the distant ocean had left shallow pools across the sand. “Are you sure? I’m happy to stay and do dishes.”

“I want to start my new book so some peace and quiet would be nice. You guys go.” Fleur stood and began taking dishes into the kitchen.

Ellie turned to Cy. “I’ll go if you want to have a snooze. Three helpings of pavlova might stop you moving for a little while.”

Cy laughed and his eyes shone. “I could do with a bit of a run around on the beach.”

Louis rolled his eyes. “We don’t need any grown ups to come down.”

Picking up her glass of water, Ellie threw a look at Cy before smiling at Louis and Jonty. “I want to have a go on one of those skim boards, too. Go and get your sunscreen on, and some hats.”

Louis and Jonty rushed about getting things together and a few minutes later the four of them were walking across the sand to the shallow pools of water in the distance, the boys in front with skim boards tucked under their arms.

Cy turned to her. “I know you said all that stuff on the boat and the island about not wanting to have your own kids, but you really are great with them.”

Goose bumps flitted across her skin at the softness of his tone and Ellie grinned. “When I decided not to have my own kids, I made a pact with myself to be the best aunt I possibly could.”

He shook his head, but his focus was still on the boys ahead.

“The best part is, I can remind Louis about all the things his mum wants done, but I can spoil him rotten as well.”

Cy stopped walking and put a hand in his pocket. “He loves that watch you gave him.”

Ellie stopped too and raised her hand to shield the sun from her eyes as she watched the boys. “He spotted it in a jeweler’s store window when he stayed with me once. I had to offer to clean the glass because he’d pressed his nose up against it so long.”

Cy was holding out a small package in the palm of his hand. A bright pink ribbon trailed over purple paper.

“What’s this?”

His mouth lifted in a soft smile. “I should’ve put it under the tree, but it might’ve been crushed in the boy stampede.”

Her face heated as she touched her fingers against her lips. “Oh, Cy. I didn’t get you anything.”

“You’ve given me more than enough. You’ve guaranteed the rest of our lives are filled with happier times. That’s the only gift I wanted. Merry Christmas, Ellie.”

Holding her breath, she pulled the ribbon. It gave way and the paper beneath came unstuck. Lifting out the tiny box, she pulled the lid off with trembling fingers.

Resting on a bed of crushed tissue paper was a perfect white nautilus shell. She gasped and traced the lines, its spiraled ridges rough under her fingertips. “It’s beautiful,” she whispered. “Beautiful. Where did you get it?”

He leaned forward, his voice low, and pushed his sunglasses on top of his head. “I found it when I took Louis snorkeling the other day. I thought you’d like it.”

The beauty, the simplicity of his gesture sent a river of warmth through her and a pulse beat loudly in her ears. Friends gave each other gifts. He’d given her things before. So why did this one make her breath burn in her mouth and her mind spin to their kiss yesterday? Her heart beat more quickly, but she ignored it.

She placed the lid on the box. “I’ll take it back to my place in Auckland,” she said, tipping her face up to his. “To wait for me till I come back home next summer.”

“I was thinking you could bring it to the States with you to remind you of home,” he said quietly. “The more I think about what you’re doing for us, the more humbled I am. What I’m asking of you is really setting back your business plans and I want you to know I’ll never forget that. I know what you’re giving up for us, Ellie and I’ll always be in your debt.”

She forced a smile. “I’m sure I won’t forget everything in a year.”

“I know you won’t.”

Without thinking, Ellie reached for his hand. “I love the shell. It’s beautiful.” She rose on tiptoes to place a kiss on his cheek but something made her hesitate. His mouth was so close, so tempting. She could hear his breathing, smell the cool marine scent of him. She tilted her head and placed her lips on his.

A soft groan sounded in his throat and on reflex she slid her hands across his muscled shoulders, pulling him closer. Playing her tongue along his lips she reveled in the sweetness of wine and dessert and that special taste that was all Cy. In turn, he opened his mouth to her, cupping her face in his hands.

Mindless as she kissed him deeper, sparks ignited in her blood. Cy stroked the skin of her neck and she let herself sink into the beautiful sensations beginning to ripple through her. Blood pounded in her ears, becoming louder and louder until Cy pulled suddenly away.

Jonty was standing still in front of them, his eyes wide, cheeks flushed. Cy dropped to his knees. “It’s okay, bud, Ellie and I were just…”

Before he could finish, Jonty was running back up the beach away from them. Cy stood, frozen to the spot, and then they both began to run after him.

“I’ll get him,” Cy called as he raced ahead of Ellie.

“But I want to…”

“Just give us some time, Ellie.” Strong arms pumping, his legs sprinting along the beach, he went up, over a sand dune, and disappeared.

Chapter Eight

Lungs bursting, Cy slid down the sand dune until he reached waist-high sea grass at the bottom. Cutting his hands as he pushed back the long, spiky blades, he finally found his son crouched in the middle of a clearing.

God, why had he kissed Ellie? After he’d reminded himself there was too much at stake for him to act on his impulses, he’d just forgotten it all for another stolen moment with her.

Willing his blood to slow, the adrenaline to stop washing through his body, he calmed his breathing and wiped damp palms against his shorts. If he’d known where Jonty would run to, he wouldn’t have followed in case it made things worse. Looking at the way his little boy was sitting frozen, staring straight ahead with the scarf back around his neck, it seemed that’s exactly what had happened.

“Jonty.” He moved slowly closer. “Hey, I’m sorry you were confused when you saw me kissing Ellie.”

His son’s large blue eyes were fixed on a bush in the distance, unblinking.

What could he say about what Ellie meant to him, what their relationship was, why he’d kissed her like that, without confusing a six-year-old further?

“I know it must seem strange, but Ellie and I have been friends for a long time. We were only a little bit older than Louis is now when we first met, so we’ve had a lot of time to get really close.”

Still his son said nothing and Cy leaned in. Jonty’s hair was mussed from all the playing with Louis today, and there was a sticky spot at the corner of his mouth where a stray piece of pavlova must have landed.

“Son, there’s something I need to tell you.” He shuffled closer so he could sense the warmth of Jonty’s body only inches away. He ached to put his arm around his boy’s shoulders, but he wanted to respect the distance his son so obviously needed and jammed his hands between his own knees. “You already know Ellie’s coming back home with us, right? But I also want to tell you that in a few days’ time Ellie, you, and I are going to drive to the city and Ellie and I are going to get married.”

He thought he felt his son stiffen, but the little boy stayed frozen to the spot.

Cy swallowed, unsure of how much to tell him, how to describe what his relationship with Ellie was. He took a deep breath of salty sea air. Man, he didn’t know what his relationship with Ellie was himself, or how he’d prepare for the time she’d be leaving both of them.

“Having Ellie with us isn’t going to change the way you and I do things together, bud. We’ll still have fun and do our boy things and when we get back to Colorado…”

Jonty lay on the sand, pulled his knees into his chest, and put the scarf over his mouth. Cy thought his heart would shatter. Instinctively, he reached a hand out, touched his little boy’s back, and began to rub.

Had coming back to New Zealand been a monumental mistake? Thinking back to the way Jonty had come alive since they’d got here, how he’d turned from a frightened little boy to one who’d fly kites and try new things made him sure that it wasn’t Rata Cove that was the problem. In fact this place was the catalyst for his change.

And it wasn’t Ellie. She’d told him how she and Jonty had connected on the boat and he’d watched them becoming closer every day.

A lead weight formed in his gut. No, it was the fact that Cy’s attention was drawn away from his son. At the most pivotal time in both their lives, he was letting his physical need for Ellie take over. And her desire for him was growing, too; he could feel it. But she was already giving up so much. Her business would suffer significantly being away for a year, and if they started a relationship that fell apart later—

He’d hurt her once before and he wouldn’t let that happen again. No matter how much he wanted to get closer to Ellie, for her sake and for his son, he couldn’t. Knowing that cut more deeply than he’d ever thought possible.

So much for second chances.

Cy was fixing the old grinder in the lean-to later that evening. He’d pulled it from the garden shed preparing to polish the paua shell he’d got for Jonty.

Rain thundered on the roof and the waves on the beach were becoming heavier. It hadn’t taken long for him to fall asleep after they’d got home from the beach. When he’d finally felt that Jonty was ready to leave the sand dune, he’d picked him up and carried him home. They’d seen Ellie in the distance, and he’d waved to let her know everything was okay. But it wasn’t. He felt an overpowering need to protect his son from anything else that was too confronting and he dreaded the trip to Auckland in two days’ time when they’d organize the wedding.

A noise behind him made him swing around.

Ellie stood framed in the doorway, her hair stuck to her head, hand on her chest as she sucked in breath. “Hi,” she said as water dripped from her hair. “I got caught in the rain.” She flicked water from her hands, her clothes clinging to her, accentuating every perfect curve.

“It was so hot and sticky when I set out that I didn’t imagine it’d rain. Then the most enormous drops came splashing down. I’m soaked.”

He picked up the towel Jonty had used earlier in the day and motioned toward her. “Come here.” Her face glowed pink and tiny droplets of water sparkled on the tips of her lashes. She was breathtakingly beautiful, even with mascara smudged down her cheeks.

“Is it okay that I’m here?” she whispered. “I wanted to make sure Jonty was okay. And you. I won’t stay long.”

She tipped her head forward, and he captured her hair in the towel and rubbed.

“Of course it’s okay. I knew you wouldn’t have phone coverage; otherwise I’d have called to tell you he’s settled and asleep.” He finished drying her hair and eased her head back up. Her eyes were filled with concern, and he couldn’t help focusing on the lips she’d pressed to his this afternoon.

She began to shiver.

“Come inside and warm up, and then I’ll get Jonty.” He touched her shoulder. “I’ll run you back to Starfish in the car.”

“No, don’t wake him. I’ll be fine.”

He shoved a hand in his pocket. “There’s an old raincoat hanging by the front door. You could wear that back.”

She nodded and then followed him up the steps.

When they were inside, Ellie went straight to the old fireplace, her arms crossed. “Cy, I’m so sorry Jonty saw us kissing. In fact, I’m sorry I kissed you. It made no sense after what I said to you the other day, what we agreed to this morning. I got carried away in the moment.”

Cy shoved hands in the pockets of his shorts. “It’s not your fault, Ellie. It’s mine. I’ve let myself get distracted since I’ve been here, and it’s caused me to take my eyes off Jonty. I won’t be letting that happen again. Jonty will be fine.

She blinked and a raindrop he must have missed splashed onto her cheek like a wayward crystal. “Will
you
?”

His throat dried as he leaned against the wall. “I don’t care about me. I know I have the capacity to be selfish, to focus on the things that I want, but this one time in my life I’m determined to put that aside for the good of my son.”

The air hummed between them. Standing there with her damp hair and her fresh face, she could’ve been the eighteen-year-old he’d known in another lifetime. But now she was a woman who knew herself so well that she’d make a huge change in her well-planned life to help a friend. A woman who, despite feeling uneasy around children, had worked hard to get to know his son. And she was a woman who’d seen the pain of an old friend and was prepared to do something outrageous so he could be happy.

Her face lit as she looked up at him. “Well, I care about you.”

“You shouldn’t.” It wasn’t meant to sound so rough. “I wish I had half your strength, half the guts you’ve shown to set your chin high and get on with things.” He blinked as he paused, wanting her to understand how much he meant this. “You blow me away, Ellie. The way you can talk so openly about William, the way you’ve dedicated your life to the happiness of other people. When I thought about asking you to marry me, it was because I had to focus on doing whatever it took to get Jonty back in my life, and I can’t believe how lucky I am that you said yes.”

She took a step toward him and air seemed to be sucked out of the room. “I’m not the only one who’s changed, Cy. I never would’ve picked you as someone who’d find himself battling for his son. After everything you went through as a kid, I half expected that you’d be the one globe-trotting and staying single, not me.” She took another step and every one of his cells pulled toward her as if she possessed some magnetic power.

“I guess we’ve both found some meaning in our lives that we’re determined to hang on to,” he said when she was only a touch away.

Her fingers landed on his arm with the lightest touch. “You have to be happy too, Cy.” Every square inch of his skin that she touched drank her closeness. “You deserve some happiness.” He let out a private sigh as the air grew heavier around him and her touch reached all the way to his heart.

Rain drummed on the roof and he covered her hand with his. Her stare pinned him to the spot and her skin grew warm beneath his fingers. No muscle in his body would move.

The set of her face changed as she drew in a breath. The smile faded, and her gaze was edged with an emotion he hadn’t seen before, a shadowed look that sent shivers racing down his spine. Her lips parted and Cy’s heart thumped.

Breaking the spell, he released his hand and stood back. Need for her made him light-headed, restless. Seconds of silence multiplied. The shadows on her face deepened. He’d been here before with her, this place where his blood heated and his body fired.

Despite the fright they’d all had today, she’d come here to make sure he and his son were all right. Anyone else might have run for the hills by now, but Ellie’s constancy, her strength and determination were like a drug he couldn’t get enough of. There were so many reasons he shouldn’t be doing this, but his ache for her and the fire licking his body were too strong to resist.

Leaning closer, he braced himself for the knockout punch to his senses, then placed his lips on hers. Blood fizzed through his veins. She stayed perfectly still, breathing him in.

Cupping her face in his hands, he pulled her closer and drew out the kiss. When her arms encircled him, he shuddered. Maybe if they gave in to each other this one time, maybe if they sated their need for each other for tonight only, it would put an end to the want that had started the moment he came back here.

“Ellie,” he whispered.

He threaded a hand through her hair, then ran his tongue along her bottom lip. The taste of her, cool and sweet, seeped into his mouth. Her tongue met his as he trailed his hands down the length of her back. Slowly, so slowly, he kissed along the curve of her mouth and she moaned in response.

With both hands on her back, he pulled her closer, until they were hip to hip and the fire within him flared higher. From somewhere locked deep within, a hunger to have more of her surged. Without wanting to remember the myriad reasons this was where they should stop, Cy pulled back, took Ellie’s hand, and led her to the bedroom.

Cy drew in scorched air as he completed another pull-up on the branch of an old rata tree behind his house the next morning. Sun beat down on his bare skin and his muscles stung. At least it masked the mess firing through his brain.

He’d made love to Ellie. Despite all his resolutions not to shift the focus, despite her warnings she didn’t want anything long term, he’d given into the pull of her and they’d made love. It had been incredible, powerful. He hadn’t stopped thinking about her since, and that was the problem. Every time he’d taken his focus off Jonty, his son had taken a step backward. Had he destroyed everything?

He looked down to where Jonty sat eating a bowl of cereal on a sunny patch of grass, the
crunch, crunch
blending with the screech of cicadas in the bush. Bright crimson needles from the rata flowers surrounded him like a Persian carpet.

If his son had been confused by a kiss yesterday, what could this level of connection with Ellie do to him? It was one thing to share a kiss with her from time to time, but this meant so much more. He knew they shouldn’t have given in to their desires, yet he’d missed the sweet sound of her breathing and the soft touch of her skin against his, after he watched her walk out the door. Were they in so deep that they’d forgotten why they were together again?

He let himself drop to the ground and reached for the towel and water bottle at his feet. “What’ll we do today then, J? Want to go out on the yacht again? We could go fishing this time. Catch something for dinner.” Getting away from the bay for an afternoon might help him find a way through this.

Jonty lifted his eyes as he chewed his mouthful. His little brow crumpled as he shook his head.

“Eeling then. Down at the creek. We could go and find some eels.” He took a mouthful of water.

Jonty’s eyes moved back to his bowl.

“We could finish polishing up the paua shell we got snorkeling.”

At the sound of the gate to the beach being unlatched, Jonty dropped his bowl and spoon, then scrambled to his feet. He rounded the corner of the house in a second, his dinosaur T-shirt flapping. It would be Louis coming to find his friend. Memories of Ellie doing the exact same thing a decade ago ate at him.

“Hey, Jonty.” Ellie’s sweetly singsong voice tugged at him and the sweat that had begun to cool on his skin fired again. He stood still, listening.

“I just took a look at your little pukeko. He’s doing great this morning.”

“Looks like his foot’s all better.” It was Louis’s voice. There was silence for a moment, and Cy imagined the smile on his son’s little face that the bird was better.

“Are you ready to come to the hall? It’s a full practice today.” Her voice was softer and he could imagine her smiling. “Louis’s mum will meet us down at the hall ’cause she’s got a few phone calls to make. Have you got your hat? I’ll look around for your dad.”