Last Kiss in Tiananmen Square (25 page)

“The Government broke their promise. They didn’t want to broadcast the meeting,” someone was yelling in the crowd.

Dagong’s heart sunk. But he secretly wished that this might only be a rumor. It was soon proven that the fellow protester was right and that the government had broken its promise.

“Comrades, how are you?” Premier Zhao Ziyang’s voice came through the loud speaker, “Although our country has arrived at a crucial intersection, please stay calm and restrained. I would like to persuade the hunger strikers to go home. You are our country’s future, should stay alive and healthy. I promise you there will not be retribution for the citizens and students who participated in the movement.” His oratory was getting lower and weaker. It sounded like he was frustrated and hopeless.

“No mention of the dialogue between the government and the students. This must be a hoax,” shouted by someone in the crowd.

Dagong could sense an obvious hopelessness in the speech too. He turned to Zhang Ping and said, “Zhang Ping, why don’t you keep looking for Little Turnip? I’ll have to go to work.” Dagong suddenly remembered that as the head of the Beijing United Worker’s Union, he had responsibilities.

Zhang Ping stared at him, literally stared at his face so hard she felt her eyeballs would fall out. After Dagong had squeezed through the crowd and disappeared, she still stood there frozen.

The time had drifted back to 1966, in the midst of the Cultural Revolution. The Tiananmen Square was filled with people wearing the green army uniform, with a red star on their hats, a red armband on their left arms. Everyone was waving a little red book.

“Long live Chairman Mao! Long live Chairman Mao!” They were chanting like they were in trance.

She had tears in her eyes, she remembered. Like everyone else, she was standing so far from the Forbidden City and she could only imagine Chairman Mao’s large figure on the balcony of the Forbidden City, waving at them. It was so strange that she cried. Maybe it was because everyone else did so in the crowd. A sense of unity and camaraderie moved her. Besides what was the best way to show her loyalty to Chairman Mao and to the Communist Party? That same day, she also shook hands with a comrade who had shaken hands with Chairman Mao. They all tried to smell his hands in order to catch the scent of Chairman Mao’s skin. They clenched his hands hard in order to feel the warmth obtaining from Chairman Mao.

Of course, that was the past, which was considered foolish nowadays. No one could get her to do that anymore. Deep inside her, she knew that she was still sincere. She could turn her heart inside out to prove that. Their innocence was just used by a few power seekers in the government. But it hurt, whenever she thought of it. It was like being cheated once and never believing in anything anymore.

Suddenly the crowd behind her moved. A young worker wearing a red badge came over to push the crowd away.

“Please back off. There are more organized demonstrators coming.”

Zhang Ping flowed with the crowd. Then she saw Little Turnip in the distance. She saw him standing on the balcony of the Forbidden City, waving at her.

“Come here, mommy, come here!”

“Little Turnip!” she ran toward the Forbidden City while squeezing herself through the crowd. Her loud voice did help her to open a path to her goal. Nobody wanted to stop a crazy woman.

Chapter 16

The student dialogue with the government’s propaganda department in the United Front Office again failed since the official media decided not to broadcast it. They also refused to honor student’s demands.

“What’s next?” Baiyun asked herself as she walked out of the building with the rest of News Center students. She left the hunger strikers to file a report at the News Center. People who had been waiting outside for three hours immediately surrounded them.

“Did government agree with our demands?”

“Why didn’t they broadcast the meeting live?”

Baiyun was exhausted due to lack of sleep and food. Without eating anything for nearly two days, the hunger strike had taken a toll on her. She also didn’t know what to say. She didn’t want to be the one to announce that the dialogue had failed, and if the students don’t leave the square before Russian president Gorbachev’s visit tomorrow, the government’s troop would move in and clean up the square. Personally she did not want to see it happen. But it was too late now. To move students out of the square at that point would be like trying to empty the ocean. She was no longer afraid. She was proud of being a part of this historical event, able to witness and report on such an exciting movement. If she had to die, she only had one wish. She wanted to be with Dagong, Longfe, Big Li, Yumei and Li Yan. But where were Dagong and Longfe? Last time she saw them was when the police put handcuffs on their hands and dragged them away. This scene had been sitting in her stomach like a rock. She wanted to be with them. Maybe she should try to get herself arrested sometimes. It was worthwhile to die alongside so many important and dedicated people. She and Li Yan exchanged glances as they walked back to the square.

They returned to the Monument after walking around many students who were sleeping, piles of garbage, and the tents, which had occupied every inch of the square. A group of student leaders were arguing about whether they should withdraw from the square or not.

“We have already gained a great deal of momentum in the movement. We should press forward to achieve our goal of asking the government to agree with our demands,” said Big Li who was vehemently against the idea of withdrawing. Stubble had grown on his previously shaved head and his round face had shrunk a little.

“Gorbachev is coming. We have to keep our oath not to disturb the normal functions of the public and the government. So we have to leave the square soon,” said Yumei, who was leaning against Longfe’s chest.

“What? Longfe is back?” Baiyun jumped. Then Li Yan poked her and pointed to the left, where to her surprise, was Dagong. He wore clean shirt and jeans. He was growing a mustache and beard.

Dagong stepped forward and threw his fist into the sky. “I represent all the workers here in support of keeping the movement alive!”

“Dagong!” Baiyun ran toward him and gave him a big hug right in front of everyone. She was no longer shy. Dagong went further. He held her head in his hands starting kissing her passionately. Their lips touched and were melted by their love toward each other. Then they sat down on the step holding each other tightly.

“Dagong, I thought you were arrested. Did you escape? Should I hide you?” Baiyun looked at Dagong puzzled.

“That would be nice if we could hide somewhere for a while,” smiled Dagong. “I guess I don’t have such a luck. They let us go because the top hadn’t decided what to do with us.” He turned and started kissing Baiyun again.

Baiyun didn’t stand up to argue. She was very satisfied to be with Dagong. Although she somehow agreed with Yumei’s logical argument, she wished the movement would go on. She could not imagine how she could go back to her normal school life if the movement suddenly ended. It was like she had opened a mystery book and couldn’t wait to read all the way to the end. The argument ended with no conclusion and the leaders sat down from physical weakness.

Baiyun, feeling exhausted, started to doze off until Dagong’s voice came from a seemingly remote planet.

“My little angel. Can you stay awake?”

“No, my eyelids have been fighting with each other for a while until they both went dead.”

“Oh, no. I hope they were not dead. You can sleep on my laps,” said Dagong while letting Baiyun fell into his lap. He stroked her shining but messy black hair slowly.

“Do you feel warmer now?” Dagong was holding nearly asleep Baiyun.

After an hour, she sat up but soon fell into Dagong’s chest. “What a beautiful night! It is so strange that it is the night while we are waiting to die. Who knows? Maybe we are in heaven already.” She smiled and felt safe in the embrace of Dagong.

“How do you know it is a nice night with your eyes closed?” asked Dagong.

“I can smell the steamed bun in the air. I can hear the breeze blowing by my ears. I can also feel the stars in the clear sky staring at me.”

“Big Li, Big Li.” A woman’s sharp scream broke the momentary silence. Baiyun and Dagong bolted toward the scream. After several days of hunger striking, the unusually strong Big Li finally collapsed. Longfe was holding his body and trying to feed him water. But his mouth clenched tightly, his body shivering. Yumei and others piled blankets on top of his body.

“Maybe we should send him to the hospital,” suggested Longfe.

Xia Nan came over and added: “See, people are dying here. Why don’t we withdraw? We have already done enough.” Since the movement began, he had disappeared for a while. His sudden appearance didn’t surprise anyone who knew him, and did not make him more any persuasive than before. No matter how much sense he made, people just disagreed with him. They booed him instead.

A worker walked by who didn’t know what was going on and joined the conversation.

“Are you a student leader? Shame on you!” He spit on the ground. “You shouldn’t tell people to surrender. You should lead us to fight until the end.” Some leader!

While this was happening, Li Yan did find a motorcycle to take Big Li away. Although even with a high fever, he seemed to know one very important fact --- he wanted to stay. He held on to the tent as they carried him away. The tent tore away and then he tried to hold onto the cement ground. Blood oozed out of his dark and grease covered fingers.

“Don’t take me away. Let tanks roll over my body. There are two hundred thousand people here. Our blood will drown the troops. Our iron bones will ruin their vehicles.” After these seemly last words, Big Li collapsed again.

Baiyun came over and held on to his hands tightly.

“Let him stay. We are going to die together, aren’t we?”

Suddenly there was silence. The word “death” finally registered in everyone’s mind. It seemed that they need a moment to comprehend. The loud music was still playing in the distance. Crickets began chirping.

“Look at the stars in the sky.” Dagong had more experience dealing with crises.

“Yes. The ‘Hunter’ (Orion) is right over my head.” Baiyun replied.

“It’s so clear today and I can see his sword,” said Li Yan.

“Really? Where is it?” Longfe soon realized there was really a constellation named “Hunter” which was over his head in the sky. Yumei showed him once, which was something he didn’t know from growing up in the city.

“Oh, I see. There are arms, head, legs and his belt. I get it.” Longfe was pleased with himself. At this moment, a small victory meant a great deal.

“I have heard we would all become stars after we die,” said Yumei, “maybe we should form a constellation.” Her voice was low but clear.

“Yes. Let’s form a sword that can penetrate the sky. So whenever the Government leaders look into the sky, they will shiver from our mighty strength,” said a young, baby-faced student.

“Let’s turn into thunder and shake this regime into extinction!” Longfe’s sudden poetic skill had surprised everyone.

“Let’s turn into lightening and electrocute those conservative leaders.” Even Li Yan spilled out poetic lines.

“Dagong, I hope we still know each other after we die,” said Baiyun, resting comfortably in Dagong’s chest.

“We will become spirits and will not know the difference,” said Dagong.

“That’s too bad. We haven’t done anything together yet,” said Baiyun regretting that she stopped Dagong last time.

“It is too late, girl. You haven’t enjoyed the greatest joy in the world and now you are going to die, my poor Baiyun.” Dagong scraped his pinky on Baiyun’s small nose. He was teasing her. He understood what Baiyun meant. In fact at this moment, he wished to press his lips against Baiyun’s, and kiss and hug her passionately. Then he would bring them into the highest peak of joy. He knew this was not the time for it. But when? He asked himself sadly. He had lived through most of his live as a dog by tolerating every kind of insult and suffering. The only driving force in his life was to hope that someday a miracle would happen and his fate would turn around. Here, when the happiness finally arrived, he was about to die. This was the fact that was hard for him to swallow.

“What are you thinking?” said Baiyun. She was too tired to open her eyes.

“I’m thinking about what our life is going to be like after we both have gone to heaven.”

“Let me tell you. We are going to have a house among the evergreen trees. We will manage a farm and have half a dozen kids.” The corners of Baiyun’s mouth were lifted up slightly. Her two big eyes opened and stared at Dagong like mirrors.

“Yes. Baiyun.” Dagong kissed her.

“De, de…” A motorcycle stopped by. Both the driver and a rider on the back seat were well equipped with helmets, shining leather jackets and thick quilted pants as if they were impenetrable.

“This is the message from the headquarters of the United Student Union,” after putting on a pair of glasses, the middle aged woman in the motorcycle passenger seat started reading, “We have no intention to withdraw tonight. Our negotiation with the government has failed. We want to force them to the negotiating table again by staying here. With Gorbachev’s visit tomorrow, our movement is going to attract international attention. Up to now, there are no sign of Government troops coming into the square. Rest well and be prepared for tomorrow.”