Last of the Summer Tomatoes (28 page)

Kyle’s stomach dropped. What if he had been with someone else, like intimate? And was just feeling guilty? “What?”

“I… I’ve been daydreaming about us. About a future. About building a home with you, where you would have an art studio, and I could have a workspace to tinker in, and we could have our own garden and maybe a dog….” Sam’s voice trailed off. “Damn, I’m stupid.” He dropped his head, staring at his hands.

Kyle put his hand on Sam’s shoulder. “It doesn’t sound stupid at all. I… I haven’t let myself even think like that, but… I’ve been wanting you near me. Reliving the moments from the summer. No matter who I talked to or who I had coffee with, if they wanted to get, I don’t know, romantic or something, I’d shut down. All I wanted was… you.”

“So, you think this could work? I won’t be in the city until next fall. Can we get through it until then?”

“Well, I think I can hold out until May.”

“May?”

“If you still want this by next May, if you really want to try, then I’ll come home for the summer.”

“You’d do that?”

“Yeah. I miss your parents. I’ve been reading and rereading your mom’s letter she sent with the Christmas gifts.”

“They miss you too. Kept asking me about you, and I didn’t know what to tell them.”

“Do you think they’ll be happy for us?”

“I think they’ll be over the moon.”

Kyle’s attention was drawn to the TV he’d had on. “Hey, it’s five minutes ’til midnight. You wanna go up on the roof and see the fireworks?”

“Sure!”

Kyle grabbed his jacket, handing Sam his own. Kyle took Sam’s hand to lead him up the stairs to the roof. As they emerged from the building, the cold air bit into their faces.

“Cold out tonight.” Kyle hugged himself. He felt Sam’s arms come around him. Suddenly the world changed for him. Warmth, security, belongingness… it all fell into place. This was where he was meant to be. A loud cheer rose up out of the apartments across the alley.

“Guess it’s midnight.”

Sam turned Kyle in his arms. “Yep.” He planted a kiss on Kyle’s lips, a kiss that held so much promise and love. Kyle closed his eyes, Sam’s arms holding him up before he flew away, up to the beloved stars he knew were there, just behind the city’s lights.

Sam broke the kiss, giving Kyle one more peck on his nose. The fireworks lit up the night sky, but they held no interest for Kyle. He wanted to stare at Sam, to commit this moment to memory in the chance this was all a dream.

“What are you thinking?”

“That if this is a dream, I never want to wake up.”

“It’s no dream. I know next semester is going to be tough, but if we stay honest with each other, we can make it work.”

“I know we can.”

Sam turned Kyle back around, his arms hugging from behind again as they watched the fireworks in the distance.

The last of the fireworks faded into the sky. Kyle squeezed Sam’s hand. “It’s freezing out. Looks like the fireworks are done. Let’s go back inside.”

“Yeah, Mom sent us some homemade hot chocolate mix. You got milk?”

“Of course.”

“Then come on. She adds a touch of cinnamon and vanilla to it. It’s awesome. And if I know Mom, she sent along some mini marshmallows too.”

“I love the minis.”

They headed back downstairs to Kyle’s room. Once there, Sam started digging into the box. “Wow, Mom sent a little of everything. We just have to warm it all up. Turkey, ham, casseroles. I hope your fridge can hold it all.”

“We’ll make room. If not, we can use Simon’s fridge. He doesn’t keep anything in his but cold pizza and soda.”

“Ah, the typical college diet.”

“Well, I offered him some of the vegetables Glenda sent, but he turned his nose up at them.”

“He doesn’t know what he’s missing.”

“For sure.”

Kyle looked around the room, his eyes lighting on his bed. “Sam?”

“Yeah?” Sam was still finding room in the fridge.

“My… my bed isn’t very big.”

Sam turned away from the fridge. “You… you want me to find a hotel?”

“No! That’s not what I meant, not at all. I just… it’s not going to be very comfortable. Not like the huge bed at the farm.”

Sam put his hands on Kyle’s arms, giving them a slight rub. “As long as I’m with you, we could sleep on the floor.”

“I think that would be even more uncomfortable.”

“Then let’s not worry about it. I’m sure it’ll be fine. Unless you’re still uncertain about us?”

“I… I haven’t been even remotely intimate with anyone since you. I… I want you so much, and it kinda scares me.”

“I think that’s called love, real love. And not the familial love you have for Mom and Pops, or the puppy dog crush you have on a cute guy. This is the romantic love.”

“Do you feel it?”

“Yeah, I do. I… I kinda have butterflies in my stomach. I’ve wanted to be with you for so long, and now I’m here….”

“So let’s have some hot chocolate and then get reacquainted.”

“I like that plan.” Sam placed a passionate kiss on Kyle.

“Or we could skip the hot chocolate.”

“Even better plan.”

A
WEAK
January sun came filtering through the window. Kyle felt a huge body crammed next to him, an arm holding him tight, obviously so he wouldn’t fall off the narrow bed. Even in his sleep, Sam was protecting him. He gently removed the arm around his waist and padded to the bathroom, relieving himself and washing away the bits they missed from last night. He was preoccupied with his belly button when that same arm that had held him tight in bed came around him again.

“Morning.”

Kyle looked up in the mirror to see Sam, hair sticking up on end, a bit of beard growth on his cheeks and chin. “Morning.”

“Sleep okay?”

“I think I slept better last night than I have all semester.”

“Told you we could make the bed work.”

“I think it was the company more than the bed.”

“Glad I could be of service.”

Kyle turned around in Sam’s arms, kissing him.

“You keep that up and I say we go back to bed.”

“As good as that sounds, I do have to work this afternoon. Figured we could make some breakfast, and I could show you around before I go to work.”

“I like that. Let me take a shower first.” Sam leaned around the bathroom doorway to grab his bag. “Uh, Simon isn’t going to come barging in, is he?”

Kyle laughed. “No, don’t worry. The door locks from the inside. Anyway, he sleeps late; we hardly ever need the bathroom at the same time.”

“That’s good.” Sam grabbed Kyle’s hips and held him close. “Don’t want anyone getting a look at my boyfriend, even if he is straight.”

“You are crazy, you know that?”

“Jealous crazy.” Sam winked at him.

“You do take after your mother, you know that?”

“Hey, I learn from the best.”

Kyle shook his head. “Okay, Mr. Jealous Crazy, take your shower. I’ll find something for breakfast.” Kyle kissed him once more before leaving him to his shower.

He had finished up toasting some bread and had the eggs scrambled when there was a knock at the door. He pushed the eggs off the burner and opened the door. He froze, and this time not in a good way.

“H-Hank? What are you doing here?”

“Yer… mother left.” Hank was obviously drunk out of his mind, his breath and clothes reeking of alcohol.

“Did she have to work today?”

“Nah… I mean she left me.”

It dawned on Kyle. His mother had made a clean break on New Year’s.

“Found thish….” Hank pushed a brochure into Kyle’s chest. It was one for a domestic abuse hotline.

“Look, Mom must’ve had her reasons.” Kyle didn’t voice any of the reasons, just wanting Hank to leave.

“Yeah, she did, you faggot. She said life with me was un… unbearable. Me… unbearable? What the hell. Gave her food, clothes, a roof over her head….”

“Actually Hank, the apartment was hers, remember? You moved in with us.” Kyle couldn’t believe he was actually standing up to Hank, but this was his turf, and he wasn’t going to back down.

Hank weaved back and forth in the doorway. “I still provided for her!”

“Okay, whatever you say. Look, why don’t you go home and sleep this off?”

It was at that moment Sam came out of the bathroom, wearing nothing but a towel around his waist. “Hey, your turn if you want, but I think I used….” He stopped when he saw Hank in the doorway. “You have company?”

Kyle took a deep breath. “This is Hank. Hank this is Sam.”

Hank leaned forward, his breath almost knocking Kyle on his ass. “This your boyfriend, cocksucker? I knew you were a pansy ass. Never thought you’d actually take it up the ass. What a fuckin’ waste. And your mother… all she did was coddle you!” Hank raised his fist. Kyle knew, even drunk, he could throw a mean punch. And like all the other times before, he steeled himself for the blow, closing his eyes, knowing that showing weakness would just provoke him more. But the punch never came.

“You
ever
come near Kyle again, I’ll make sure they don’t find your body.”

Kyle opened his eyes to see Sam holding Hank’s punch back, Sam’s face right in Hank’s.

“So your butt buddy wants to fight? He ain’t got no clue, does he, homo?” Hank tried to punch with the other hand, but Sam was faster. Hank got a fistful in the gut, doubling him over.

“I think you should go home now. Before you puke all over Kyle’s floor.”

“You have no idea how much trouble you’re in, queer.”

“And I don’t think you get it. I’m from the country. I own a gun… and a truck. And do you know pigs eat
anything
? They leave absolutely
nothing
behind.”

Hank’s face went pale.

“Now I suggest you leave and take your hatred with you.”

Hank gave Kyle a last hated look. “Don’t expect a damn thing when you get fucking AIDS. They’ll throw your wasted body into a pauper’s grave, and there won’t be a damn person around to mourn you.”

Kyle felt himself being pushed out of the way while Sam waled on Hank. It took him a few seconds to realize he’d better stop Sam before he actually killed the guy. He grabbed Sam’s arm before he could bring it down on Hanks’ face again.

“Sam, please stop. He’s not worth it. Please.”

Kyle always wondered at that point, did the pleading tone of his voice stop Sam, or did Sam actually understand the words? As they never spoke of the incident again, he would never know. Hank got up and staggered down the hall. Kyle got Sam back into the room, grabbing the towel that had fallen and putting it back around Sam’s waist. No sense giving the entire floor a show.

“Your knuckles.” Kyle got a hand towel and some ice.

“It’s nothing.” Sam seemed a bit calmer as Kyle lightly touched him. Kyle was about to get up to put the towel away when Sam grabbed him, holding him tight.

“Nothing bad will ever happen to you, I swear.”

“Sam? What’s wrong?”

“What he said… you won’t get sick, you’ll never be alone. I swear.”

“I know, Sam, I know.” Kyle rubbed Sam’s back, not sure how to reassure him.

“The sex thing… we never have to, you know. Never, ever.”

“Sam, you told me that was committed relationships only, right?” Kyle felt Sam’s head nod. “And… you’ve not changed your mind about that? You haven’t… you didn’t do the casual thing, did you?”

Sam shook his head. “Never. I kissed precisely two guys other than you the past four months. And nothing else. I even felt guilty doing that.”

“So, there really isn’t anything to worry about, right?”

“I… I’m not sure. I’ve done other things, prior to meeting you.”

“Other things?”

“Like we did, you know, in the forest. By the creek. It’s still… body fluids.”

“So, we get tested. It’s confidential. And when the tests turn out negative, we can talk about this again.”

“And if….”

“No other scenario will fit. Sam, please, please just calm down and be rational.” Kyle pulled back putting their foreheads together.

“I don’t know if I can be rational when it comes to you.”

“Does actual sex mean that much to you?”

“I… I don’t know. I want that closeness with you. I want to feel you like that. I want us to be connected and….”

“And what?”

“I want you to know that it’s not about dominance or hate or pain, like you’ve been taught. Those words, those names… they come from a place of hatred and ignorance.”

“I know that now.”

“But if we don’t ever….”

“Then we don’t. I think last night showed us both that we can enjoy each other without actual sex, right?”

Sam finally smiled again. “Yeah.”

“So, we will go down to the clinic. Believe me, there are flyers everywhere urging everyone to get tested anyway, might as well follow the crowd, right?”

Sam gave a little chuckle. “Yeah, follow the crowd.”

“And then… when we are ready… may it be a few months from now or years, we make that decision.”

“How’d you get to be the smart one in this gay relationship?”

“I had a good teacher.”

About the Author

S
HERRIE
H
ENRY
was born and raised in southern Indiana and after a stint at Indiana University achieving her bachelor’s degree in English and journalism and her master’s degree in kinesiology, this Hoosier transplanted herself to the Windy City. Her passion is teaching, with writing coming in a close second and gaining momentum. She is currently an adjunct professor at the College of DuPage and owns her own martial arts studio in Naperville, IL. She currently holds a third degree black belt in Hapkido. She lives in the suburbs with her dog and faithful companion, Maggie.

Contact Sherrie:

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