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Authors: Malcolm Pryce

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BOOK: Last Tango in Aberystwyth
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‘Still fighting the good fight, are we, Father?' I asked cheerfully.

‘Oh struggling on, struggling on,' he said, the words delivered with the affected soul-weariness of the man who dons the cloak of the martyr and finds he likes the fit so much he gets a matching pair of gloves made.

‘How about yourself, Louie?'

‘Struggling on, struggling on.'

He put a fraternal arm on my shoulder and led me down the street. ‘Don't give up now, we need men like you.'

‘Do we, Father? Do we really?'

He stopped and took a closer look at me, his finely attuned antenna warning him of an impending loss of faith. ‘Are you all right, Louie?'

‘Of course.' I showed him the photo. ‘I'm looking for this girl.'

He took it wordlessly, peered at it and then handed it back.
‘Sorry, Louie. You know how it is. I've seen loads like this.'

‘Yeah I know how it is.'

‘Sorry I can't be more help. Is she in trouble?'

‘I don't know. Probably. Isn't everybody?'

‘That's why we need men like you, Louie. Men who scorn the comforts of the hearth and the softness of straw beneath their heads. Men who stand guard so weaker men can sleep. Men who climb the cold stone steps to the battlement and stand watch, blasted by the icy wind, their eyes unvisited by sleep and smarting in the winter frost. Silent centurions, Mr Knight, to hold out their shield. Men like you and Mr Cefnmabws at the lighthouse flashing his light to guide the ships safely home.'

‘Amen,' I said.

We stopped at the street corner and prepared to part.

‘And don't forget to include yourself in that list, Father,' I added.

He smiled wanly. ‘I do what I can with the strength God gives me. It isn't much.'

I said goodbye and walked through the churchyard behind the old college. As I walked the words of his sermon echoed in my mind. It was a pretty speech, but it didn't really ring true. Was I really a silent centurion, scorning the soft straw to climb up the icy battlement? I didn't think so. I certainly didn't feel like one. But one thing I was pretty certain of. When I showed him the picture of the girl and he said he didn't know her, he had been lying.

I reached the bit of the Prom where it bent like an elbow jutting out into the frothing water. There was a girl standing on the D-shaped buttress, staring out to sea, wearing an old fur coat from the Salvation Army shop. It was Ionawr. I touched her gently on the shoulder so as not to make her start. But she did anyway and looked round. Then she squealed and
hugged me and when we broke off she still held one of my hands in hers.

‘I've been looking for you everywhere,' she said.

‘I was out at Ynyslas.'

‘I've got someone who wants to meet you. Well, he doesn't really want to but I told him he had to.'

‘Who is it?'

‘Remember after Mrs Beynon's you told me about that monk with the suitcase?'

I nodded.

‘I know who it is, it's one of my regular … er … you know …'

‘Friends?'

‘Yes. He'll be in the new Moulin tonight.' She jerked her head back slightly to indicate the pier behind her where the replacement for the famous old club in Patriarch Street had recently sprung up. ‘You don't go there much, do you?'

‘Not really, too many memories, I suppose.' I showed her the fudge-box top and this time I got a reaction.

‘I don't know who the girl is,' she said, ‘but I recognise the location. I've done some work there myself. It's the Heritage Folk Museum.'

I went to the Cabin in Pier Street and met Calamity. Her expression told me straightaway that she had something on her mind.

‘Why didn't you tell me?' she said when I sat down.

‘Tell you what?'

‘About Custard Pie.'

I breathed in sharply.

‘He asked to see me, didn't he?'

‘Yes.'

‘So why didn't you tell me?'

‘You know damn well why I didn't. Because if I had, the
next minute you would be down there visiting him.'

‘And what's wrong with that?'

‘Everything's wrong.'

‘That's not an answer.'

‘I don't want you having anything to do with him. It's too dangerous.'

‘I'm not a kid, you know.'

‘So you keep telling me. You're sixteen and three quarters. It may seem a lot to you but, believe me, it isn't.'

‘What happened to us being partners?'

‘The first job of a partner is to take care of the other one.'

‘But what can he do, he's behind bars?'

‘I don't know what he can do. I'm not smart enough to think of anything, but
he
is.'

‘Louie, you know I have to go, we're on a case.'

‘There's no point going anyway.'

‘No point?'

‘Of course not. You think he's going to tell you something that will help us?'

‘No point?'

‘Not even a microscopic one.'

‘Well you're a crap detective then,' she said, eyes watering with resentment and confusion.

My eyes widened in surprise. ‘What's that all about?'

‘Well, you went to see him, didn't you? Why did you waste your time if there was no point?'

‘I … er … It was only after I went that I realised that there was no point.'

She blew a raspberry.

‘How did you find out anyway?'

‘I'm a detective.'

I sighed and Calamity stood up. ‘I'm going.'

‘I forbid you!' I said as she left, knowing full well that nothing I said would make any difference. But I said it all the
same. ‘I forbid you.' It was an old trick I'd learned from King Canute.

I sat there staring at my tea for a while and then ran out and down Pier Street towards the sea. I could see Calamity just about to turn left on to the Prom, so I turned into King Street behind the old college and cut through the Crazy Golf. From there I walked across the road and turned towards the pier. A few steps and she almost bumped into me. She turned and started to walk away but I caught her arm and pulled her over to the railings. She stood there not struggling but keeping her gaze stolidly averted, finding something improbably fascinating in the side of the pier.

Neither of us spoke and finally she said, ‘What do you want?'

‘I just want to tell you to be careful.'

She turned and looked at me, her eyes wet and gleaming. ‘So I can go then?'

‘What's the point of stopping you, you were going to go anyway, weren't you?'

‘No, I wasn't. You forbade me.'

I put my arm over her shoulder. ‘Just be careful and keep away from the bars, and whatever you do, don't believe a word he says. OK?'

She nodded.

*

Meirion was enjoying his usual early-evening aperitif at the Rock Café, his big belly wedged in between the immovable plastic seat and the edge of the table. Spread out before him a gazette of English and Welsh seaside towns preserved in pink sugar: Blackpool, Llandudno, Tenby, Brighton. I sat down and ordered the aniseed one with black and white stripes.

* * *

He had just finished a piece for the morning edition on the death of Mr Marmalade. It was, he said, a typical Meirion piece – hard-hitting, authoritative, tough but fair, and like all Meirion's hard-hitting, authoritative, tough and fair pieces it would never be published for fear of upsetting all the bigshots who owned the town. Still, he had to write them if he wanted to collect his salary.

He told me what he had managed to dig up on the Ysbyty Ystwyth Experiment. ‘I spoke to the chap who covered the story,' he began. ‘It seems to have been some advanced neuroscientific research conducted by the military at the sanatorium. They chose that place because folk were already scared of it so they would keep away. Then something went badly wrong and the project was wound up in a hurry. It's all officially denied, of course.'

‘So where does this Philanthropist fit in, the one who bought the place?'

‘Dr Faustus? He was in charge. No one knows much about him, he's supposed to be some sort of experimental neuroscientist who had some pretty far-out theories about false memory syndrome. Apparently he was thrown out of the scientific establishment for being too crazy. After the thing was wound up the folks living out there started seeing things. Well a “thing” actually. A monster they said, or a ghost or something, living in the woods. The most celebrated case was a family out at Pontrhydygroes who saw something while on a picnic. They were making a home-movie. Didn't notice anything at the time but when the film came back they saw something in the trees behind them, something moving. That's what they say, anyway. The whole family disappeared not long after that. Their breakfast half-eaten on the table, the tea still warm in the pot. Never seen again. No sign of the film either. A lot of people who made statements to the police were later questioned by a strange otherworldly man, dressed in medieval dress. He sounds a bit like this chap you mentioned in the Peacocks' coat.
They didn't say what he wanted but after that they all withdrew their statements.'

‘So there's a time-traveller walking around in the woods.'

Meirion tore off a piece of bread to scrape up the last bits of rock from his plate. ‘That's what they say. Of course, I prefer rational explanations myself. It may be possible that the military have been experimenting with some sort of time-travel device, and now there's a sixteenth-century Jew haunting the woods of Ysbyty Ystwyth; but if you ask me, it is far more likely to be a prowler wearing one of those coats they sell in Peacocks.'

The Heritage Folk Museum was housed in an old whalebone godown overlooking the harbour. In a series of rooms various scenes from seventeenth- or nineteenth-century rural life were acted out by the sort of people who couldn't hold down the type of jobs the twentieth century had to offer. Sitting at a spinning-wheel, lying on a bed pretending to die in childbirth, or with a face covered in fake smallpox weals … It wasn't very demanding so long as you didn't have to say anything.

In the entrance hall there was an artist in dungarees putting the finishing touches to a mural of Mrs Bligh-Jones. It was done in that heroic style you get in Warsaw Pact town halls, where the worker holds aloft a hammer and leads forward the proletariat to a Socialist promised land. The artist had chosen to depict the moment just after the fateful decision to abandon the van: Mrs Bligh-Jones, Mrs Gorseinon, Mrs Tolpuddle and Mrs Montgomery strung out against the backdrop of the mountain; roped together at the waist, and wearing bowling shoes instead of crampons. I smiled politely at the artist but, to be honest, it was pretty crap.

Someone touched my arm lightly and I looked round. It was Marty's mum.

‘Hello, Louie. How are you? Haven't seen you for so long.'

‘I know, I've been meaning to visit, but …'

She squeezed my arm. ‘It's OK. I understand how busy you must be.'

We stood side by side and looked at the picture and when the artist went out for a cigarette Marty's mum glared at her. ‘I would never say anything but, if you ask me, it's wrong. It didn't ought to be allowed.'

‘What didn't?'

‘What they've done to Mrs Cefnmabws! She's not there.'

She nodded indignantly at the mural. She was right, there should have been five figures in the landscape, not four.

‘I know she lost her bottle,' Marty's mum continued, ‘and ran off raving into the blizzard, but that didn't happen until later, did it? When they left the van she was still in charge. Mrs Bligh-Jones should be at the back, not the front.'

‘Maybe it's something to do with perspective or something.'

‘Perspective my foot! They've airbrushed her out of history, that's what they've done. That Mrs Bligh-Jones is such a busybody!'

I took her for a cup of tea and in the café she told me what brought her to the museum.

‘There's been some fresh evidence about Marty.'

I turned and looked more closely at her. ‘Fresh in what way?'

‘They've released some of the official papers from the inquiry. The statute of limitations is up, isn't it? I finally found out the answer to a mystery that has haunted me ever since that morning he left for school and never came back.' She leaned closer and lowered her voice. ‘That night before the cross-country run, he was out in the frosty woods collecting kindling for his granny. Away for hours he was. When he got back home he was half-starved with cold and his new coat was torn in half.
I wasn't half angry with him, the perisher, but he wouldn't say how he did it. But now I know, don't I?'

‘So what was it?'

‘Apparently there was this piece of evidence at the inquiry that they didn't release for fear of embarrassing the Church. It was the testimony of a friar – one of them mendicant ones – and he had been lost in the woods that same night. Blue with cold he was, because he didn't have a proper coat. Well, they're not supposed to, are they? It's all part of the mortification. It seems when Marty saw him he tore his own coat in two and gave half to the friar.'

I patted her hand. ‘He was a fine boy.'

‘They kept quiet about it so as not to upset the poor chap. He was embarrassed, you see, because he thought all the other mendicants would laugh at him for taking charity from a little schoolboy.'

‘I expect he would have been mortified.'

Marty's mum nodded without understanding and then carried on excitedly, ‘Anyway, I've just been speaking to the people who run this place and they're thinking of making a tableau of it – to illustrate the theme of suffering and charity through the ages. I've just been giving them some of his old clothes.'

After Marty's mum left with my promise to visit her soon I wandered into the exhibit hall. I showed the pictures of the Dean and the girl to the doctor carrying a jar of leeches. He recognised them, and said he seemed to vaguely remember them working there for a while, drifting in and drifting out as people tended to do. Workers seldom stayed long – life there was hard and the working conditions primitive. The girl had been spinning and the man had mended coracles. The last he'd heard the Dean had got a job working as a satyr in the Beltane speakeasy.

BOOK: Last Tango in Aberystwyth
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