Laura Matthews (25 page)

“No more than any other politician at such a time. It is so easy to shut one’s eyes to what is going on at home when there is a war abroad.”

“That war may be brought to your doorstep, Miss Forbes, and would be if Pitt were not such a tower of strength.”

“And yet he promised not to return to the government when he resigned several years ago.”

“He was needed by his country.” Banfield flashed her a look of dislike. “I do not intend to discuss politics with you. It would not be necessary for you to have any opinions in order to handle any constituents you might meet; in fact, I would prefer that you did not.”

 "Ican see that,” she retorted, but with a grin to offset the sting of her words. “What salary did you have in mind?”

Stuart was aghast to hear Glenna ask such a question, but Banfield for the first time regarded her with approval. “My aunt has had fifty pounds a year and a clothing allowance for the entertaining.”

"I would prefer to have a considerably higher wage and no clothing allowance."

“How high a wage?”

“A hundred pounds, to be reviewed in six months’ time. If at that time my work was found satisfactory, I should wish it increased to one hundred twenty pounds.”

“My aunt’s clothing allowance has come to only twenty-five pounds a year."

“How old is your aunt?”

“Sixty-seven.” Banfield eyed her warily.

“I doubt twenty-five pounds would go so far for a younger woman, and I presume you would wish me to look presentable.” Glenna regarded him calmly and pointed out, “This way you would not need concern yourself with whether the allowance was wisely spent, or with an allowance at all. I would prefer that you have no idea how much I spent.”

"And what if I were not satisfied with your appearance?” he quibbled.

“The same could happen if I had an allowance. You have only to mention the matter to me and I will endeavor to correct it.”

“I am willing to pay you ninety pounds and no allowance,” he pronounced flatly.

“Then we need discuss the matter no further,” Glenna responded, and rose.

“Come, come, Miss Forbes. It is a handsome salary for a relatively undemanding position. You are housed, fed, and provided with transportation. There is plenty of time for you to ride and visit in the neighborhood.”

Glenna was intrigued with the position, if not with the man, but she could not let him browbeat her from the start. “Ninety-five pounds and a review in three months to one hundred fifteen.”

Poor Stuart was by now overcome with embarrassment for his cousin, and she was aware of it, but she knew that Mr. Banfield was not the least disturbed.

“Very well, Miss Forbes. It would be wise, I think, to trade on the connection between our families, so with your permission I will call you Cousin Glenna.”

“Cousin Forbes would be better, perhaps. Then I might call you Cousin Banfield rather than Cousin Richard, which sounds altogether too familiar.”

“As you wish. Is there any impediment to your starting immediately?”

“No, none. I have imposed on my cousins long enough and can come when you wish.”

“Monday, then. I will send a carriage for you.” He nodded dismissal but Glenna had one more question, and he raised this thick brows as she stood her ground.

"I play the harp, Cousin Banfield, and I have left it behind to be shipped to me when I am settled. You have no objection, I trust, to my having it delivered to your home.”

“None. I hope you play it well.”

Stuart could not refrain from exclaiming, “She is accounted an expert on it, Richard! You will have nothing to complain of, I promise you.”

The Oaks

26 January 1805

My dear Lord Pontley: I am to take up residence on the 29th at Grinston Manor near Grinston in Berkshire as housekeeper and hostess to a family connection, Mr. Richard Banfield, M.P. I would appreciate your sending the harp there. My regards to Jennifer and the dowager.

Yours, etc.,

Glenna Forbes

Chapter 20

Kilbane moved into Lockwood the day Glenna left with Mary Stokes. Although he felt somewhat guilty in accepting the invitation, he felt almost powerless to refuse. This would give him an opportunity to see Jennifer every day until he must return to Cambridge, and if he returned to the vicarage he would not see her at all. Owing to his deference for the vicar, he allowed that gentleman to try to dissuade him from such a venture, but in the end he said only, “I appreciate your feelings, sir, but Lord Pontley has offered me a few days’ shooting, which will be very welcome.”

And each morning they did indeed take their firearms and usually had admirable success, the results often served at table later in the day. In the afternoon, however, Kilbane and Pontley usually went riding with Jennifer, who arrived one day at the stable in her page outfit, eyes defiant and chin lifted. Pontley said nothing, and Kilbane was left speechless for a moment. The scarlet livery became her boyish figure, and had a ruff to frame her stubborn face. She set her horse to the gallop immediately and Kilbane rode after her, while Pontley stopped to speak with the groom.

“So that’s your page outfit,” Kilbane commented when he caught up with her.

“Do you like it?” She was suddenly anxious to have him approve in spite of her earlier defiance.

“Excessively. Did you think Lord Pontley would order you to change?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Generally he only allows me to wear it when we ride alone.” She dropped her voice. “I wanted you to see it.”

"There is no reason why you should not wear it with me. We are friends, are we not?”

“Yes. I have never had a friend like you before. Philip tries to be my friend, but he cannot accept me as I am. You...you know I am not
good
and it hurts you sometimes, but you don’t try to change me.”

“You told me you could not change, so it would be pointless to try, wouldn’t it? Besides, what does it matter what other people think?” His face grew bleak. “But Lord Pontley loves you, Jennifer, or he would not have asked you to marry him. And you must love him or you would not have accepted.”

“No! That’s not the way it is at all.”

Kilbane reached out a hand to tilt up the down-turned face. “How is it, Jennifer?”

“Oh, I can’t tell you! You will hate me!”

“I could never hate you,” he said helplessly. “Are your parents forcing you to marry him?”

Her voice was a bare thread of sound.
“I
am forcing him to marry me.” She could not meet his eyes, but she knew by the swift intake of breath that she had shocked him, and she kicked her mare into movement. Pontley was approaching them now, and she rode over to him, her face pale and anguished.

“Do you feel all right, Jennifer?” he asked with concern.

“No, I think I shall go back to the house, Philip. Please, there is no need for you to accompany me. I’ll be fine."

“As you wish, my dear. Send for me if I can do anything for you.” Thoughtfully he watched her canter the mare across the meadow toward the stables, her body huddled forward over the mare’s neck.

Kilbane’s face, when he drew rein beside Pontley, was also pale. “Perhaps we should go with her.”

“She wished to go alone. We can see that she makes it safely from here.” They watched while she dismounted, a tiny figure in the distance, and then saw her walk swiftly to the dower house, which was much closer to the stables than the main house was. Satisfied, Pontley swung his horse’s head about, but Kilbane continued to stare across at the closed door.

“You don’t look so well yourself, Kilbane. I had thought to show you Pennystone farm, but we can do that another day.”

Without turning, Kilbane spoke. “She said she was forcing you to marry her.”

“Did she? She exaggerates sometimes.”

“I know, but I don’t think she was this time.” When Pontley did not reply, Kilbane moved to face him. “I cannot think what she means—unless you have taken advantage of her.”

Pontley took into consideration the young man’s age and distress, but he had a strong desire to thrash him. “Set your mind at rest. I have not and haven’t the slightest desire to take advantage of the child.” His brown eyes flashed with annoyance.

“Forgive me if I implied such a thing,” Kilbane gasped. “I didn’t think what I was saying.”

“Please do so in future. I am not a patient man and I have my hands full.”

“Yes, of course. I—I will leave immediately. I cannot think how I came to say such a thing.”

“Don’t be a gudgeon. There is no need to leave. I assure you I enjoy your company when you have your head about you.” Pontley rode on with Kilbane beside him, the latter too miserable to pursue the subject further, and afraid where his tongue might lead him.

Pontley made sure that it was another two days before Kilbane had a chance to speak alone with Jennifer. The date of her parents’ arrival was fast approaching, and he considered the more tension allowed her the better. It would not harm Kilbane, either, to imagine the wildest things before the simple truth was revealed to him, and as long as he made no attempt to return to university there was time enough.

But Pontley was not indifferent to the point where uneasiness became suffering for the young people, and, after sticking to them like court plaster for two days, he suddenly excused himself on urgent business to leave them entirely alone in the library at Lockwood.

When the door closed behind him, Jennifer nervously plucked at the skirt of her walking dress and stared out the window. Gently, Kilbane placed his hands on her shoulders and turned her to face him. “Please tell me what you meant, Jennifer. How are you forcing Lord Pontley to marry you?”

Broken by shuddering sobs, her tale was all but incoherent for several minutes, and Kilbane rocked her in his arms until she was quieter. Then it all poured out: how Pontley had come and been attracted to her, how he had returned and continued to pay attention, but in a different manner. “He no longer wanted to marry me. But, Kilbane, I had started to depend on it. To get away from my sister and my parents. He was kind to me and he
had
thought of marrying me, I know he had. But when he saw me strike the groom... Oh, I don’t blame him! I was so anxious that day; my sister was pestering me to attach him when he returned. Everyone just wanted to shuffle me around and have me out of their way. I wanted a home of my own!”

She gulped down a sob. “Don’t you see, Kilbane? He was kinder to me than anyone had ever been and I refused to believe that he was not still attracted to me. I know that is vain, but I felt quite desperate. My sister kept pinching at me to bring him to the sticking point, and she even urged my parents to stop at her home on the way north so that they might force him to offer for me. We didn’t tell him they were coming and suddenly he had to go to his place in Somerset, but he said he would be back. And he didn’t come and they all pounced on me and...“ Jennifer could not continue for the sobs which racked her.

“It’s all right now, Jennifer. I am here and I will take care of you. Hush, my love. I understand.”

“No, you can’t understand! No one can. I was so angry with him for deserting me and leaving me at their mercy, forever harping about how foolish I was to think he would marry me. No one would ever marry me, my sister said. So I decided to prove they were wrong. I—I wrote to my aunt because I knew Philip was here, and I accused him of making promises to me which he had no intention of keeping. I cannot remember precisely what I wrote, but I said some very wicked things, and after all he had no choice but to marry me.”

She lifted her chin stubbornly. “You may hate me if you will, Kilbane. I am sorry I did it, but that does not say I would not do it again. In fact, if my aunt were not so horrid and...and”—her voice dropped to a whisper—”if I had not met you, I would not be so very wretched here.”

Kilbane shook his head unhappily. “But, Jennifer love, it is not fair to Lord Pontley. He has been kind to you and you have repaid him by trapping him into a marriage you know he does not desire.” It was obvious to him that such an argument would not hold much weight with this self-centered child-woman. Even knowing that she was indeed unlikely to change, Kilbane could not resist his love for her. And she needed someone to love her—not the hard-won tolerance of her fiancé, but the deep understanding of a kindred spirit.

Kilbane responded to the wild elfin charm and he was willing to accept the fact that together with the exotic heights of unfettered freedom, he would have to endure the depths of willful destruction. There was really no choice in the matter at all for him; if he could have her, he would take her, with all her problems, with all her delights.

“Never mind, my love. Let me take care of you, let me treasure you. I think we could be happy together, and that you would like Ireland. Say you will marry me and we can make everything right with Lord Pontley.”

Jennifer bit her lips to keep them from trembling. “You wish to marry me when you know everything I have done?”

“Yes, Jennifer. I love you.”

“And I love you, Kilbane. I didn’t know that until I realized that I want to have you like me. It hasn’t really mattered before. But even though I love you, I can’t seem to behave as I ought. My aunt says I am unstable.”

“To hell with your aunt! You need never set eyes on her again if you will marry me.”

“She would be very pleased, I think,” Jennifer giggled nervously.

“Good. Then she can plead our case with your parents. Will you marry me, Jennifer?”

“I should tell you that I am very expensive, Kilbane. Philip, I know, is worried that I will ruin him. I don’t want to ruin you."

“You won’t ruin me, Jennifer,” he said with laughing exasperation. “I have enough for even so expensive a lady. Will you marry me?”

She swallowed a last little hiccup of a sob and nodded. “Oh, yes, please, Kilbane. And will you take me away from all my dreadful relations?”

“Just so long as you don’t tell them they are dreadful, young lady. Oh, even then I would, my love, but I would be pleased if you would refrain from antagonizing them until I gain their consent.”