Laura Matthews (25 page)

He left some sedative salts for his patient which Lady Lawrence administered forthwith. The pain gradually diminished, and Olivia shakily accepted the warm milk which was pressed upon her. When she slept again Lady Lawrence and her daughter left her quietly with Marie in attendance.

The two women repaired to the Drawing Room in silence but once there Lady Lawrence did not offer her daughter the homily that the latter had anticipated with trepidation. Instead she sighed and commented, “We have all been at fault in this affair—Noah, you and I. It would appear that in accepting Olivia into our family, we have done nothing but harm her. Abandoned by her husband after her honeymoon, then forced to reside with the two of us at loggerheads, the strains on her have been great; and she could not even tell her own husband that she was with child. It was not wise of her to go after you alone, though.”

“I think she did it so that no one else need ever know,” Julianna replied sadly. “Alexander tried to shut the door of the carriage when she was holding it open and she aimed one of Noah’s dueling pistols at him. Do you suppose she knows how to use one?”

“I would not wonder at it,” Lady Lawrence replied with satisfaction. “I wish Noah were here, but I suppose it would not be to the purpose to send a messenger.
He
has no doubt left Herstwood already.”

Julianna studied her mother’s face, which seemed to have aged from the previous day. There were lines there which she had never noticed before, and the graying hair was accentuated by the equally pale face. “I think you should lie down for a while, Mother,” she said gently. Although Lady Lawrence protested, Julianna saw her to her room and drew the draperies before withdrawing.

Chapter Twenty-two

Two days later Noah arrived unaware of what had been going forward at his home. He found Julianna exhausted from nursing Olivia and her mother, and attempting to reconcile herself to her own disappointment and disillusion. His mother had succumbed to a putrid sore throat and proved an impatient invalid, Julianna explained as she led him to the Winter Parlor.

“Whatever is the matter with Olivia?” he asked as he closed the door behind them.

“She came close to losing your child because .. .”

Noah interrupted her. “My child! Why was I not advised that she was with child?”

“She did not tell us either, Noah, and she had no way of informing you,” Julianna replied stiffly.

“I should see her at once,” he groaned, rising from the chair he had just taken.

“No, she’s asleep just now. Marie will advise me when she awakens.”

“And Mother?”

“I have a difficult time keeping her in bed at all. Doubtless she is awake and impatient to see you, but, Noah ...” Julianna was unable to find a way to express her sorrow for her own role in the recent events. “Well, Mother will explain everything to you, and we can talk later. I’ll send word when Olivia can see you.”

Noah nodded and placed a salute on his sister’s cheek. “It’s good to see you, Julianna. I’m sorry you’ve had such a rough time.”

Tears sprang to her eyes, and she shook her head violently, but she could not say anything further and motioned him from the room. Noah was puzzled by her reaction, upset by the knowledge that his wife and mother were ill, and overwhelmed once more by a sense of guilt. He entered his mother’s room when she bid him, to find her, as Julianna had a few days previously, looking a great deal older than he remembered.

Lady Lawrence greeted him with grave enthusiasm and indicated that he should pull the chair up to her bed. “You look well, Noah. I trust your travels have been successful.”

“They have,” he replied shortly. “I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been ill and hope you’re recovering.”

“Julianna insists that I stay here when I should be caring for your wife,” the old woman fretted. “Have you spoken with Olivia?”

“No, Julianna said she was sleeping.”

“Did Julianna explain the circumstances?”

“She told me that Olivia almost lost our child.”

Lady Lawrence twisted the bracelet on her wrist thoughtfully. “I think it would be wisest if you knew the whole story,” she sighed, and proceeded to enlighten him.

“And what has become of Alexander?” he asked coldly.

“I only know that he is no longer in the neighborhood. His carriage was retrieved the following day by his coachman, who indicated that his master was leaving the area immediately. No whisper of the elopement has reached us, but that is not to say that none exists.”

“I find it difficult to believe that Julianna could lend herself to such a stunt, or that Olivia should take it on herself to right the situation alone,” Noah remarked, his face set grimly.

“You will of course discuss the matter with your sister, Noah; but I pray you will not be too hard on her for she has suffered considerably in consequence. I am at fault in the way I’ve handled her attachment, though I cannot believe I was wrong to disapprove of the young man. As to Olivia, if one word of reproach escapes your lips to her, I swear I will remove myself permanently from your house,” Lady Lawrence said vehemently. “It may not have been wise of her to go after them, but she did so in the absence of having any other solution which would not involve word of the elopement getting abroad. To send even a trusted servant after them would have courted disaster for your sister’s reputation. It was a very courageous thing your wife did, and much more than we all deserve for the way we’ve treated her.”

“You refer to my leaving her alone.”

“Certainly that,” Lady Lawrence retorted with asperity, “but also that Julianna and I have been at such odds over Mr. Cutler that the house reeked with our contention. I do not intend to take you to task over your absence, Noah; that is a matter between you and your wife. No one expects you to sit in her pocket. I would urge discretion on you, however, as she is clearly hurt by rumors of your affairs.”

“My affairs? What affairs?” Noah asked indignantly.

“Mrs. Beaglett offered, and Julianna transmitted, the information that you were with the comte’s attractive sister in Paris, and we were all aware that Mrs. Dyer was one of the house party at Herstwood.”

“Oh, for God’s sake!” Noah exclaimed, clenching his fists at his sides. “Did no one tell you of the cheeky little maid at Yzeure?” he asked sarcastically, “or the dozen other women I have encountered in my travels? Can I not speak with anyone without setting the gossips about their work? When I decide to have an affair, Mother, you may be sure I will be discreet about it; it is the only thing I promised Olivia. She has no call to complain of my behavior,” he muttered hotly.

“She has not complained of your behavior, Noah. She has not, in fact, complained of anything, poor dear. We have treated her shabbily, and she merely presents a cheerful front. There is no self-righteousness about it, I assure you. Olivia possesses a dignity to which the rest of the present generation of Fullertons cannot lay claim, though I remember it in her parents.” Lady Lawrence sighed deeply and straightened the coverlet.

Noah laughed suddenly. “I remember her telling me with great dignity when I had offended her, that she had known how to be a
baronet’s
wife since she was ten.”

“She does not put on any airs with us, Noah.”

There was a tap at the door, and Marie entered to advise them that Olivia was awake. Noah excused himself to his mother and followed the maid to his wife’s bedchamber, where he tried to dispel his anxiety by entering with more assurance than he felt. The sight of Olivia’s pale face with its tremulous smile very nearly unnerved him, however, and he grasped her hands warmly and gently touched his lips to hers. “Dear God, how I’ve longed to see you again, Olivia. How are you feeling?”

“Better now. Julianna has been pampering me and your mother writes me several notes each day,” she replied with a grin. “It is good to have you home, Noah.”

“I understand we are to have a child.”

“Yes, if all goes well.” Olivia turned her eyes from him. “I did not intend
to jeopardize the child when I... rode out, you know.”

Noah squeezed her hands. “Of course you did not, my dear. I must thank you for what you did, though I wish it had not been necessary. I should have been here to look after matters myself.” His voice held a faint note of apology but he found himself unable to say more about his long absence.

“Well, I promised you that I would not overlook such an occurrence,” Olivia pointed out. “I wore your clothes and have not been able to check them for mud. They are in the bottom drawer of my dressing table.”

“Robert can see to them,” he replied absently. “I notice you have redone your room most attractively. Did Miss Stewart come to stay with you?”

It seemed inconceivable that he should not know something that had happened so long ago. “Why, yes, she was here for almost two months. And I have learned to drive a pair; in fact, the other night I had four in hand.”

 Noah shook his head wonderingly. “And that was the first time you had attempted it, in the dark of night on an unfamiliar road?”

“Yes, but the horses were tired and we went very slowly, I promise you. There was no choice, Noah.”

“I am not angry,” he protested, “merely amazed.”

“I think Julianna has come to realize that Alexander is not what she wished him to be, but it is a difficult time for her. I pray you will be gentle with her, Noah.”

“You and Mother make me out a veritable ogre,” Noah replied, disgruntled. “I have no intention of ringing a peal over her, but it will be necessary for me to discuss the matter with her. I’m not insensible of the distress she must be feeling now, Olivia.”

“Of course you aren’t,” she agreed with a hesitant smile. “Have you concluded your business satisfactorily?”

“Yes. It should not be necessary for me to be away so long again.”

She nodded silently.
“Dr. Davenport said I may get up in a few days if I progress well.”

“You are to do exactly as he says. I want no harm to come to you, my dear.” He traced the lines of her nose, cheekbones and lips with a gentle finger. “It distresses me to see you so pale. Tomorrow we’ll ask the good doctor if you can sit in the garden if I carry you there.”

“I’d like that,” she admitted. “And you must convince Julianna that she need not sit with me so often. She’s beginning to look fagged.”

“I’ll take my dinner with you if I may.” Her blush of pleasure heartened him and he bent to kiss her. “I have brought some books for you and... well, you shall see at dinner.”

When Noah had changed from his traveling clothes with the assistance of his valet, whom he had sorely missed during the last few months, he asked that his sister join him in his library. Before she arrived he seated himself leisurely and stretched out his feet onto the leather hassock which Olivia had given him as a wedding present. He was smiling slightly when Julianna nervously poked her head around the open door and asked if she might come in.

“Yes, of course,” he said as he rose to seat her. “Mother and Olivia have both urged restraint on me, dear girl, and you need not look so apprehensive. I would like to understand exactly what happened, though, and why.”

Haltingly, Julianna recounted the progress of her romance, her eyes focused throughout on the letter opener Noah toyed with as she spoke. When she had completed her recital, there was silence in the room for some time.

“I did not mean to cause so much trouble,” she offered in a quavering voice. “You and mother were right in your assessment of his character, I dare say, but I was very fond of him and could not see.”

“Have you still a fondness for him, Julianna?” he asked kindly.

“I cannot honestly say. There is an aching... a pain when I think of him, but the whole seems to have happened a long time ago. I see it almost as a memory.” She gave a despairing shrug. “It is not easy to explain.”

“No, of course not. I should have condoned your marrying him when you came of age, you know, Julianna, for I would want no break in the family. After this incident... well, it would be difficult for me to do so, but I would try.”

“There is no longer any question of my marrying him, Noah. A part of me still wishes it were possible, but a far larger part knows that it is not. Olivia spoke with me a little that night. She pointed out that Alexander had not acted honorably, and that you would never act otherwise. I own I would not wish to be married to someone I could not respect.”

“It was my understanding,” Noah spoke carefully, “that all of you, including Olivia, have found my absence reprehensible.”

Julianna’s eyes flashed. “And so it has been, Noah.”

“But you are indicating that Olivia held me up as a model of integrity.”

“Not precisely. That is, Olivia pointed out that you had offered her the protection of your name and your position—a convenient marriage. She thought I would not be content with a marriage where Alexander was using me. I.... I had taunted her that you were using her,” Julianna admitted in a whisper.

Noah regarded her soberly. “Did Olivia feel that I was using her?”

“No, she thought it was hard of you to leave her so soon, but that you had not promised her ... those things which might be expected in a different type of marriage.”

“I see.” Noah placed the letter opener carefully on the table. “I think you’re wise to learn that you must be able to respect your partner in marriage, Julianna. We’re often tempted by other assets which are not nearly so important over the span of years. I hope you’ll come to me, or Mother, or Olivia with your ... concerns another time. We all love you dearly and do not wish to be alienated from you.”

When he rose from his chair, Julianna flung herself into his arms and sobbed, “You have all been too kind to me. I would have disgraced us all with my willfulness.”

He smiled gently. “It is the prerogative of the young to learn from their mistakes, Julianna, not be hounded by them. Dry your tears now and go to assure Mother that I have not imprisoned you in your room on bread and water.”

When Noah returned to his wife’s room, she was immensely surprised to see him laden down with bundles and packages. His eyes danced at her expression and he carefully dumped the lot at the foot of her bed so that he would be free to kiss her properly. After he released her, she blushed rosily and said shyly, “Now I feel married again.”