Lay It Down: Bastards MC Series Boxed Set (6 page)

Matty didn’t smile back.

I took a deep breath. Turning back to the cupboard, I picked a large lead crystal vase and filled it with water. “Obviously we have a lot to talk about, but I really feel like everything is going to be okay. He wanted to go out to dinner tonight, but I had plans”—I turned, carrying the vase back to the island, and smiled again at Matty—“that were too important, so we’re having dinner tomorrow night. Looks like it’s been a good news kinda afternoon.”

Matty looked as if he was going to say something but only nodded. He watched me for a minute. “Yeah. I’ll go check the steak.” And he was gone.

I smiled at Taylor as I leaned against the island, opening the flowers and arranging them in the water. “So? Any concrete wedding plans?” I didn't care really. Her constant babble would drown out the pounding of my heart though.

She scowled at me, taking a deep breath. “Wow. How’d you get him to come back?”

It took a second for her words to sink in. I stood up straight, turning toward her. “Excuse me?”

“Listen, Matt told me what happened. I was just curious what magic words you said to Will to make him want to come back."

I shook my head. There hadn’t been any magic words. Dinner had been Will’s idea. It was his, “I love you, I miss you!” in the middle of the conversation that made me feel confident things were turning around.

“Okay. Maybe you really are dumber than you look, but you have to know that now that he's freed himself from you, Will isn’t going to wake up one morning and realize he made a mistake and then come running back to you. Right?”

I took a deep breath. “I’m not sure what Matty told you, but it wasn’t Will who left. We had a problem, and like a real married couple, we’re going to work through it.”

“Matt,” she stressed the word, “told me everything you told him.” She smirked at my raised eyebrows. “No secrets, you know. I get that you’re used to having a marriage where lies and cheating are acceptable, normal problems that real marriages have, as you say, but that isn’t the norm. Mine isn’t going to be like that.”

Matty would never cheat; loyalty was everything to him. “No, you’re right. Will made some mistakes, but Matty isn’t Will. You don’t need to worry.”

“I’m not worried about my fiancé.” Her voice was ice cold. “I’m not worried at all. But I just want you to know where you stand. There is no room for you in Matty’s and my relationship.”

I laughed. She was really something else. “Maybe it’s you who just doesn’t get it. Matty and I are just friends.”

“Sure. And that’s what Billy thinks too, right? You and Matt are just good friends with no other feelings getting in the way?”

I tried to hide it, but I knew the understanding showed on my face.

“There is no such thing as a man and a woman being just friends, Jo. Someone always feels something they shouldn’t, and someone always gets hurt. You may not understand it now, but I’m really watching out for you by making these changes.”

My mind was working in overdrive as I tried to connect the dots. “What changes?”

She raised an eyebrow. “I won’t let my marriage fail because of you. I’ve talked to Matt, and he agrees. We need to focus on us, and you and your drama need to be gone from our lives.” She moved her hand, as if pushing me out. “We both know you’re in love with him.”

“You’re delusional.” I shook my head in disbelief, unsure if she meant her and me or her and Matty.

She smiled. “No, I’m not. The only one imagining things here is you. Did you think that Matty would leave me for you?” She sounded appalled. “Have you actually looked at yourself lately? Honey, I can promise you, if you can’t keep your own husband in your bed, you sure as hell won’t be able to get mine there. After tonight—”

“Taylor!” I’d never heard Matt bellow, but that was the only way I could describe the sound he made. The glass plate made a hollow noise as he shoved it across the dining room table, walking toward us. “What in the fuck is going on?”

I looked from him back to her. She had straightened up, but her face wasn’t red, her breath wasn’t coming faster. She wasn’t worried. Matt, on the other hand, looked as if he’d just seen a ghost. His face had lost all color, and he was practically shaking. I didn’t know if it was in fear or anger, but I knew enough about people to know that these two had obviously had this conversation before. My heart sank. Not only had my best friend told his girlfriend, a person he knew I hated, the most personal details of my life, but he’d talked about cutting me out of his. I was shocked. Nothing had prepared me for that revelation.

I took a deep breath. I wanted to demand answers from him. To tell him he couldn’t get rid of me that easily. But worst of all was the feeling of ultimate dread creeping in. Suddenly, I realized that Will’s cheating hadn’t hurt this much. A life without my husband didn’t seem nearly as lonely as a life without Matty. I was that pathetic. I looked up, meeting his ocean-blue eyes. They were both right. My feelings for him crossed a line. Maybe I wasn’t in love with Matty, but I loved him. And I was definitely attracted to him. Was that really so obvious to everyone?

The moment lasted forever. I wanted to hug him, tell him I was sorry, and that I hadn’t realized. Instead, I smiled at him. “Congratulations, Matty. It was a good win today.” I turned to Taylor, who looked delighted. “I have to go.” I practically ran for the door.

“Jo!” Matty came across the kitchen and was reaching for me. “What—?”

I paused, long enough to reach out and squeeze his hand. “Good-bye, friend.”

I had never been so thankful for a half-circle driveway before. All I had to do was back up a little, put my car in first, and punch the gas. My heart beat fast as I drove back to Auburn. I thought about calling Will and begging him to come to my hotel room tonight, or even driving straight home and jumping in our bed with him. But all that would do was muddy the water even more. So I turned up my music, turned down the volume on my phone so no one could interrupt, and convinced myself that change was good. I had other friends. I could transfer units at work. I was fine.

There weren’t a lot of nights when the idea of being alone was appealing or going back to my hotel was a comfort. Tonight though, both seemed wonderful. I didn’t want to be around anyone. I got out, grabbed my cell, and left everything else in the car. I couldn’t care less if someone stole my purse. Glancing at my phone when I got out of the car made me a little sad. Matty hadn’t called. Not that I thought he would, but I was just so used to him always being there.
Well, get used to it.

I was so lost in thought that I never heard the bike revving into the hotel lot. It wasn’t until it stopped directly in front of me, blocking my path, that I looked up.

Matty stretched his booted leg out, bracing the bike upright, and cut the motor. “You okay?”

I forced a smile. At least, I hoped it looked like a smile. “Yep. A-okay.” I gave him a overly exaggerated thumbs-up. “You can go now.”

“Jo.” He raised an eyebrow and slid a hand into the pocket of his hooded sweatshirt.

“Go home to your fiancée, Matt. She’ll come hunt you down if you don’t.” I looked at the street, half convinced I’d see Taylor’s Audi speeding toward us.

“She knows where I am.”

“Yeah, ‘cause you two tell each other everything, right?”

“Joes.”

I looked at him and saw the look of confusion. I took a deep breath and plastered a smile on my face. “It’s okay, Matt. You and I, we’re good. You don’t need to check up on me anymore. I’m a big girl, with a husband of my own. I won’t be stealing Taylor’s anymore.”

He shifted. “Taylor doesn’t have a husband yet. Me? I’m your friend, and right now, that means that I do need to check up on you.”

“I don’t need you. You can leave. I have plans.”

He squinted. “Did you call Billy?”

I laughed at his look. “No.”

“So you’re gonna go back to your hotel room and wallow?”

I nodded. That was the plan.

“All by yourself?” he asked.

“Yeah. Imagine that. No one to betray my trust, no one to make me feel bad about myself, no one to—”

“Cut the shit. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and get on.”

“Get on? The death trap? Yeah, I don’t think so.”

He gave me the annoyed look he wore every time we talked about his Harley.

I sighed. “You don’t even have a backseat.”

He laughed and scooted forward. “I have a backseat, Jo.” He tapped the seat behind him. “I just don’t have a sissy bar.” Seeing my blank look, he explained, “The bar behind the seat that riders lean against.”

I shook my head. How would I stay on the bike?

He sighed, reading my thoughts. “You hold on to me, silly. I won’t let you fall.”

“I don’t have a helmet.” Then I realized he didn’t have one either. “Where in the hell is
your
helmet?”

He chuckled. “I didn’t have a chance to grab it. I… ugh… I had to use the regular door to get my bike out of the garage, not the bay door.” He laughed at my look. “Long story.”

Hmmm.
“Well, you should have taken the extra few minutes needed! It’s dangerous.”

He gave me his lopsided grin. “I couldn’t. I needed to catch you.”

I rolled my eyes. “Why don’t you have a sissy bar?”

He laughed, a deep laugh that made me smile. “Taylor won’t ride without it.” He held out a hand. “Come on. Come celebrate with me.”

I hesitated. The fact that Taylor never rode his bike made me want to. I was mad at him. Confused, but angry that he had told her all those things. I hated her though, and I was tempted to go with him just because I knew how jealous she'd be. I had no idea how to get on.

“Take my hand, put your left foot on the peg, and swing your right leg over.”

Fuck it.
I grabbed his hand and lifted myself up behind him. I glanced behind me, noticing how close I was to the back of the bike. “You’re sure I won’t fall off?”

He glanced over his shoulder as his right hand came around, grabbing my leg. “Scoot closer.”

I was already close, my inner thighs touching his butt, but I did as I was told.

He shook his head. “Closer.”

I sighed and pushed myself as close as I could get, the front part of my body flush against his back. It felt so intimate, as though we were doing something that wasn't as innocent as it really was.

His hand moved up to my thigh, giving it a squeeze. “Now put your arms around me.”

I wrapped them tightly around his belly and felt his laugh.

“Not so tight, Jo.”

I relaxed them a little.

“Now, where to?”

I shook my head. “It’s your night. Somewhere away from here.”

“It’s a gorgeous night. Wanna go to Portland?”

I didn’t. The idea of going on the freeway on that thing scared the crap out of me, but I nodded and he started the motor. It was loud, but not as loud as I’d thought it would be. The vibrations ran through my entire body. Matty started out of the lot slowly, pulling up his legs and leaning back into me when we hit the main road. Every now and then, his right hand came back and held onto my thigh. I pushed my cheek into his back, right between his shoulder blades, and watched the sights go by. There wasn’t anything between the pavement and me except a bike and Matty, but I hadn’t felt so safe in a long time.

6

The ride didn’t last as long as I thought it would, even though Matty didn’t take the freeway. At every stop sign, he turned back and talked to me, checking to make sure I was okay. Sometimes he put his hands over mine on his belly and rubbed them, helping me keep them warm and letting me know he was right there with me. His body completely blocked mine from the coming traffic and wind, and eventually I forgot to be scared and started having fun.

Matty told me once that the most relaxing place in the world was on the back of his bike. I’d argued and said it had to be the white sand beaches in the Virgin Islands, but now, I saw his point. I was completely calmed down when he backed the bike into a parking spot. And a little sad that the trip was over. He put down the kickstand and turned off the bike.

“You okay?” he asked, squeezing my hand.

“Yep.” I sighed in contentment. “That was awesome.”

He chuckled. “Good. Glad you liked it. Now you can come with me more.”

He stood up and got off the bike, stretching and slipping the black hoodie over his head. I only had a second to think about Taylor's vicious words earlier while he shoved the sweatshirt into his saddlebag then held a hand out to me. I stepped off, and his hand went to my back, rubbing the exact spot where I was sore.

“I know it’s hard on your back to sit without a bar; if you want, I’ll put it back on.”

I shook my head. This was my thing with him, and I wanted to keep it that way. “Then Taylor will want to ride.”