Authors: Deanndra Hall
Tags: #Romance, #Drama, #Erotica, #Erotic Romance, #Mystery
Where to start? “Get comfortable. It’s a long story. But first, you should know, I don’t believe in any particular religion, but my mother is a typical Italian Catholic mother. She’ll grow to love you, but she won’t like it if you’re not Catholic. And you’re not, are you?”
“Nope. I’m Pagan. I’ve found that’s worse than atheist for most people. I guess I’m doomed, right?”
Tony laughed. “No, if you’re Pagan, I’m guessing you can handle my mother. What are you, a Buddhist or something?” he asked. She could tell he was clueless.
“Nope. Wiccan, among other things.” She paused. “I’m also a witch.” Her gaze was steady, and her eyes seemed greener than usual.
“Uh, okay,” he responded, his eyebrows peaking. “I’m not going to ask exactly what that means; we can talk about it later. Plenty of time for that. So consider yourself warned.” He stopped, then added, “And for the record, it doesn’t bother me one bit.”
“Taken under advisement. Now, let me get comfortable.” She lay back on the tablecloth with her jacket under her head.
“Here, take mine too.” Tony peeled off his jacket and handed it to her. “This is going to take awhile.”
He sat back, took a deep breath, and started. She watched the muscles in his jaws tense. “You know I’m divorced. But unless you’re tapped into the gossip groups, I’m guessing you don’t know about Dottie.” Nikki shook her head.
“Dottie and I met when we were sixteen. I came back to the states for summer break in high school and met her at the pool in the park. We dated for six years and got married when we were twenty-two. My parents were very disappointed; they’d hoped I’d find an Italian girl during the school year, marry her after I graduated, and bring her back to the states. But Dottie’s family was Italian, so I think they just decided she’d do. I’d never had another girlfriend or sex partner; Dottie was all I knew. At the time, I was her first and only too.”
“Anyway, she never seemed to like sex much, but I thought that’s how it was supposed to be – hell, I didn’t know. When we’d been married for a year, she started saying she wanted a baby. I was young; it meant more sex for me, so I decided hey, why not? Took us a few years, but Clayton was born when I was twenty-six.”
Nikki interrupted him. “Wait, I’m sorry. I’m fifty-one – fifty-two in September,” she offered. “And you’re how old?”
“Fifty-seven – fifty-eight in September.” God, he was a good-looking fifty-seven. She nodded for him to continue. “So we had Clayton. He weighed seven pounds and twelve ounces, perfectly healthy. I brought them home from the hospital, and it didn’t take long for things to start heading south.”
“How so?” Nikki asked.
“When he was two weeks old, I came home one day and found him still in his bed, still in the diaper he’d had on overnight, hadn’t been fed, changed, bathed, nothing. Everything was soaked. He’d screamed until he couldn’t scream anymore – he was shaking all over and was almost catatonic.” Nikki looked horrified. “When I asked Dottie what had happened, she said she just didn’t want to be bothered.” Nikki’s eyes widened. “I cleaned him up, held him, and fed him while she read a book.”
“Good god!” Nikki was shocked – what kind of woman was this?
“The next day, I came home at lunchtime to check on them. Good thing I did – same scenario. I didn’t know what to do. I asked her again what was wrong. She glared at me and said she didn’t want that baby and I should find someone to take him. I was twenty-six. I had a newborn baby and a wife who didn’t care if we lived or died. My dad had passed away the year before, and I was trying to keep the company afloat. I really didn’t know what to do or what was going to happen.
“I called my mother and asked her to come and get Clayton and some of his things. When I left the office that evening, I went to her house, told her everything, and asked her what to do. She said she’d go every day and stay with them.
“Then things got really dicey. Dottie would curse at my mother, throw things at her. She threatened to kill the baby and blame it on Mamma. It was so bad that Mamma couldn’t stay there anymore during the day, so I started taking Clayton to her every morning and picking him up on my way home. The house was a wreck. It was like Dottie was trying to see what kind of mess she could make. It wasn’t fit to live in, so I tried to hire a cleaning woman, but Dottie was so horrible to her that she quit after three days.
“By then, it was time for her six-week postpartum checkup. I went with her and told the doctor what was going on while she sat there and swore I was lying. He said he thought she was suffering from classic postpartum depression and gave her medication, which, of course, she wouldn’t take. When Clayton was two months old, I had her committed for the first time.”
“Oh, god, that’s horrible!” Nikki gasped. “I mean, horrible for you. Horrible for everyone.”
“Oh yeah? It gets worse. She’d get out and do better for awhile. Then she’d get worse again. When it was bad, she’d disappear for days. I’d come home and find her in bed with anyone she could get to sleep with her. Drunks, drug addicts, anyone. It’s a wonder none of them killed her and robbed me, or that I didn’t get some kind of disease. No way was I leaving Clayton with her either. He went to daycare. At least that way I knew he was safe and his needs were being met.” Tony stopped and took a deep breath. “Then, when he was three, she started saying she wanted another baby. And, once again, still under thirty, I saw it as an opportunity to finally have sex with my wife. So she got pregnant again.
“But the weird part was that, while she was pregnant, she was completely normal. She’d started hearing voices and having hallucinations, but while she was pregnant, she was fine. She kept the house clean, cooked somewhat-edible meals, fixed up the nursery. I thought everything was finally okay. She still wasn’t really warm toward me in bed, but she was decent and civil. It was actually more than I’d ever hoped for.
“Then Annabeth was born. She was a beautiful baby, bigger than Clayton had been, and very, very strong; really lively too. And two days after she was born, it all started again. I couldn’t believe I’d brought another child into the world to have to live with that. The guilt was devastating, but it was too late; I had to deal with it. So she went to daycare too. My mom helped when she could. Dottie went in and out of the hospital dozens of times. She threatened to kill us, to kill herself, to set the house on fire. I started making myself go numb just so I could deal with her. There was nothing between us, and that was fine, anything to protect myself. She spent most of her time tearing me down, telling me how worthless I was, ugly, totally inadequate in bed. I still hear her voice in my head, every day. It was hard; still is.”
After all the years that had gone by, Tony’s anguish was still raw and fresh. Nikki found herself holding her breath against his pain.
“About the time Clayton turned thirteen, she started asking me for a divorce. At first, she just hinted at it. Later, she outright asked, demanded even. I wouldn’t give her one. Her family was the worst bunch of Italian trash you’d ever find, and even
they
had abandoned her; and yeah, she was a good Italian Catholic. Who would’ve thought?” he asked sarcastically.
“Anyway, I couldn’t just throw her to the wolves. I felt responsible for her; why, I don’t know, but I did. She’d come in from sleeping with two or three different guys . . . I’ll spare you the details, but she’d show me the evidence. Some of the things she let them do to her, well, it was horrible. She’d hit me, slap me, kick me, scream at me, trying to get me to give her a divorce. I kept hoping some break would take place. She’d go to the hospital, get out for awhile, go back.
“Then, one day, she went to the hospital on her own and stayed for a year. We’d go to see her, but she told them she didn’t want to see us. When she got out, she announced she wanted a divorce because she’d fallen in love with an orderly there. At that point, I’d had all I could take. Clayton was sixteen and Annabeth was twelve. They’d never really had a mother, and I’d never really had a wife. I decided if she was willing to divorce me to marry a fucking orderly at a mental hospital, I’d let her go. That was sixteen years ago.”
He stopped and took a deep breath. Nikki reached out and put her hand on the side of his face, stroking down to his chin and raising his face so he could see her expression; the love and admiration visibly bloomed there. “You, Tony Walters, are a saint. I don’t know how you were as patient as you were.”
“I’m no saint, but I tried. I was desperate.” He put his hand on hers and dropped them both to the tablecloth. “Problem is, she’s still around. Since then, she’s been married, oh, I think four times, I’m not sure. She turned up a couple of months ago, asking for money. She shows up from time to time, making a commotion and hurting everyone, and then disappears again. I can’t help it – I hate her. I realize she’s sick, but she’s just so damn mean.” He squeezed his eyes shut, and Nikki could see a tear in the corner of each, then he opened them and blinked, his face suddenly tired and drawn. “So that’s my story. A doozie, huh?”
“Sure is.” She gave him a tiny smile. “Makes mine pale in comparison.”
“Nope. My story is mine; your story is yours. No one is better or worse. It just is what it is.”
Nikki smiled at him, but a question popped into her head. “So, how many women have you dated since your divorce?”
“One.”
“Who?”
“You. Last night was the first real date I’ve been on since I was sixteen. Unless you count Elaine Burrows,” he laughed.
“Who was she?”
“No one of any consequence, rest assured,” he insisted. “I think she wanted to date my bank account. I wouldn’t let that happen, so that was that.”
“Smart guy.” She patted his head in dog fashion and laughed; Tony laughed too. She was so damn easy to talk to, and he felt so relieved to get it all out.
Then she surprised him by asking, “So when was the last time you had sex with anyone?”
His eyebrows shot up into his hairline and he smiled. “Um, a couple of years ago.”
“I thought you said you hadn’t dated anyone,” she queried, her eyebrows knitting into their own question marks.
“That’s right.” He didn’t elaborate, and she waited as long as she could.
“So . . . ?”
“As I said before, that, my dear, is a conversation for another day!” He grabbed her around the waist, rolled her onto the tablecloth, and looked down into her face. “However, I’ve been waiting to do this, and I think the wait is over.”
Tony leaned down to her and kissed her. He didn’t just kiss her; he sealed his lips to hers and poured himself into her. Nikki had never been kissed like that, ever, not with that intensity or fervor. He didn’t wrap his arms around her or press his body against hers; he just kissed her like he was starving and she was his only nourishment. His tongue explored every fraction of an inch of her mouth, and hers reciprocated eagerly. She felt something stirring deep inside her, a craving she couldn’t quite name, and her nipples began to throb and go hard. She was getting wet and hot and, as he plunged his tongue into her mouth, her pussy clenched tight. She reached up and put a hand on either side of his face, and he caressed the side of her face with one hand. He paid close attention and got just what he was looking for – he felt her squirm ever so slightly, and he knew she was every bit as aroused as he was. When he broke away and pulled back, he looked down at her with a dark, smoky gaze that put a flutter in her chest. She took a quick glance and confirmed – the bulge in the front of his jeans was significantly bigger than it had been ten minutes before.
“Wow. For a guy who hasn’t been dating, that was some kiss,” she whispered, gasping and licking her lips. He tasted like macadamia nut cookie.
“Let me tell you something, baby. I’ve been saving those up for a long time. I guess I was saving them for you.” He kissed her on the tip of her nose and pulled her up to a sitting position. “We’d better get up and walk around before we do something much sooner than we intended. Might even get us arrested!” They gathered the leftover picnic things and put them in the car, then found their way to the walk and strolled out through the green space.
“Yeah, hon, what’s up?” Tony had dropped Nikki’s hand to dig his phone out of his pocket and answer it; Annabeth.
“Dad, where are you?”
“I’m at . . . dammit. I totally forgot. I’ll be there in a few minutes.”
“But where are you?” she asked again.
“I’ll explain later. There in thirty.” He hit END and turned to Nikki. “I promised my kids I’d watch the game with them this afternoon and I completely forgot. I’m so sorry. I’ve got to go home or I’ll never hear the end of it.”
“Cards and Reds?”
“Yeah, it’s the . . .” He stopped. “How did you know that?” he asked, puzzled.
“We’re, um, I’m a Reds fan.” She stared at the sidewalk as they walked back toward the car after what had been a blissful hour of strolling and chatting. “I still keep up with all the scores. I used to watch all of the games.”
“Used to?” Tony echoed.
“Yeah. Not much fun when you’re, well, just not much fun anymore.”