Learn to Fly (36 page)

“
Hey!”
Duke stormed towards her, pointing his finger in her face. “I
don’t need your charity, say the word and I’m gone!”

Lenny stood her
ground, she was afraid in that moment that maybe Duke actually would
leave but she was too stubborn to take back her words. Instead she
jutted out her chin and clenched her jaw.

“
You
can’t keep running away from the things that scare you!”
Duke threw his hands out to the sides in exasperation.

“
I
didn't run away!” Lenny shouted back, angry tears burning the
back of her eyes.

“
Really?”
His sarcasm thick, “then what would you call it?”

“
Escaping!”
Lenny's stomach fell to the floor as she shouted her truth across
the garage. His eyes grew wide at her response and she felt her
hands starting to tremble. The room was quiet and Lenny could hear
her pulse roaring through her ears. She looked down at the floor,
unable to watch Duke's face as he tried to read her mind. Tried to
figure out where she had gone. She was tired of carrying her secret
for so long. She knew it had changed her. She had let it change
her, propelled that change. She didn’t want to be who she had
been. She wanted to be someone else. She wanted to be safe.

“
Were
you a prisoner?” He asked, his voice calm, concerned.

***

“
I'm
not...I'm not doing this.” Lenny's voice sounded tired and
scared. Duke knew he was almost there. He didn't want to push her.
He had wanted her to come to terms with it on her own. She was more
stubborn than he had given her credit for. He knew that there was a
huge likelihood that she would hate him after this. He had to take
that risk. She needed him to.

“
What
happened, Lenny?” It was the question everyone kept asking
her, the one she had never answered.

“
I
told you, I don't remember.” She crossed her arms over her
middle and stared at the floor. Duke thought she looked especially
small like that.

“
You've
never forgotten a detail in your life. Tell me the truth.”
His voice was hard, unforgiving. A flash of terror went across her
face. How he hated himself.

“
What
happened to the girl who looked fear in the face and laughed as she
found her line?” Her eyes unfocused and he knew he was
reaching her.

“
What
happened to the girl who flew past seasoned backwoods riders and
raged down the ridge line in Alaska?” She shifted and turned
away from him. Duke was close, he could feel it. He was going to
have to wreck her before he could save her. He raised his voice
again, forcing the issue. “What happened, Lenny? Where’d
she go?”

“
I
can’t do this.” Lenny started to the door of the garage
but Duke got there first.

“
No,
we do this now. No more running.” He blocked the way with his
body and Lenny tried to push past him but he was solid. He grabbed
her by her shoulders and looked into her face as she stared at the
center of his chest.

“
Let
me by, Duke.” Lenny said, a false fire on her tongue.

“
No.”
Duke repeated. He clenched his jaw, having a final debate with his
insides on whether or not he should be doing this. “I want to
know what happened to you.” He swallowed his own fear and took
a deep breath. “I wanna know where the girl is that I fell in
love with.”

Lenny met his eyes
at last and he saw pain and betrayal covered by confusion.

“
What?”
The word was a whisper and he almost didn't hear it due to the
ringing in his ears at his own confession.

“
Yeah,
Lenny.” His voice low. “Where is the strong, powerful,
confident woman that I am hopelessly in love with?” He'd said
it twice now. He hoped he didn't throw up before they got through
this.

Lenny looked down at
the floor; she reeled like she'd just gotten the wind knocked out of
her. She turned to walk away but Duke grabbed her arm and whirled
her back to face him. Lenny pushed him away with force, her face
twisted in anger.

“
Stop
saying that!” She yelled. “Stop using that word! What is
wrong with you people?”

She backed away from
Duke, her eyes wild. “Shane, Luke, now YOU?! You don’t
know what love is! Stop throwing that word around like it means
something!” She screamed at him, her hands clenched into fists
at her sides.

Duke felt his tears
pool in the corners of his eyes as he watched her fall apart in front
of him. He couldn't stop now, he was committed, and they were almost
there. He grabbed her by the shoulders again and looked her square
in the face.

“
Tell
me what happened, Lenny! Tell me what
really
happened
before the accident! 'Cause I know damn good and well this isn’t
about a bad wreck!”

Tears started to
spill down Lenny’s cheeks as they stared at one another. The
look of defeat that hung in her eyes broke his heart. A sob caught
in her chest as she tried to breathe normally and Duke folded her
into his arms. He held her body as it shook with released emotion.

“
Shane
slept with Cody.” She clung to him as the truth escaped her
lips.

Duke closed his eyes
and held her close. So that was it. That was the big secret.

“
When?”
He asked gently, pressing his cheek to the top of her head.

“
At
the Olympics, the day before my event...the day before the crash.”
Her breathing steadied as she brought her emotions under control
again. “I caught them. They said that it was my fault for
being,” she swallowed and her voice was laced with cynicism,
“such a tease. They said I was incapable of love and Shane
needed a
release
before his event. And I was too
selfish
to help him with it.” A disgusted shiver swept through her
body and Duke resisted the urge to put his fist through a wall.

“
I
couldn't get my head right, I lost focus.” Lenny continued
shakily. “That's how I wrecked.”

She pulled away from
him and tried to wipe the watery mess off her face. She was red and
splotchy but her eyes were clear. Finally.

Duke didn't want to
let her go. He wanted to hold her until she felt safe again. But
that wasn't his place. Instead, he sat down on the garage step and
she settled next to him.

The rest of the
story spilled out unencumbered and he had to bite his tongue to keep
from going off on his own tangent against Shane and Cody.

“
After
the accident, they both came to see me in the hospital. The doctor
said I had enough brain damage that I probably would never remember
the previous twenty-four hours. So I went with it. I just couldn't
foresee trying to figure out how to walk again while dealing with
their shit, you know? I thought they'd get tired of the whole thing
and move on if I ignored them. Then Shane moved out here and Cody
wouldn't shut up about a rematch and I guess I just decided I wanted
to try a different life for a while. One where I didn't have to see
those two every day.”

“
Why
didn't you just confront them after you'd recovered?” Duke
couldn't help but ask.

“
Because
then they would have known that I lied about forgetting it. And I
was afraid that would make me just like them.”

“
You
could never be like them.” Duke put an arm around her shoulder
and pulled her against his side.

“
I
didn't realize how much time had gone by until I found the engagement
ring in Shane's truck. I couldn't live a lie, I had to leave.”
She paused and looked up at Duke, her face sorrowful. “I’m
sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”

“
No,
Lenny” Duke cut her off. “They were wrong on so many
levels. I understand why you split. You don’t have to
apologize.”

Lenny
was quiet for a long time and then she said, “I can’t
stop thinking that they might be right.” Duke looked at her
with a frown. “What if I
am
incapable of love?”

Duke sighed heavily
and held her tighter. “You’re just incapable of their
twisted version of love. You have more heart and passion than anyone
I have ever met. I see you with your family and your friends and
even complete strangers. You’re kind and compassionate and you
honestly care.” He paused, letting his words sink in. “You’re
capable of great love; greater than those two will ever experience in
their lifetime.”

He wrapped both of
his arms around her and blinked back his own tears. Finally. After
so much avoidance and running away, maybe now she could begin to move
forward. He knew there had been a connection between her accident and
her resistance to fall in love. If he could just get her past her
fear, she’d fall headlong in love with the man who deserved her
the most. And as much as Duke hated to admit it, it wasn’t
him.

“
We
need to get you on a line as soon as possible. You can't let them
take that away from you. And not up at Aspen, here, on your home
turf.” His voice was thick with emotion.

“
What
if it’s been too long? What if I forgot everything you’ve
taught me?” She asked honestly.

“
Then
I can
re-teach
you.” Duke replied. “I’ll always have your back,
you know that.”

She seemed to
consider his proposal and he felt a thrill go through him that she
didn't outright say no this time.

“
How
about you get some sleep, and we’ll talk about a plan tomorrow
over breakfast.” He helped her into a standing position.

She gave him a
contrite smile, “I think I really screwed things up with Luke
tonight.”

“
One
thing at a time. Let’s get you on a line first. We can fix
everything with Thor after that.”

“
Thor?”
Lenny asked quizzically.

“
Well,
you know, he has that chiseled jaw and those piercing blue eyes.”
Lenny laughed as Duke directed her up into the house and shut off
the lights to the garage.

***

They took the sleds
as far as they could and then started to hike up the mountain, the
terrain getting steeper the further they climbed. Lenny refused to
think about what was waiting ahead. Instead she focused on the
climb. She tried to drink in the wilderness. Savoring every breath
that included the scent of fresh pine. Her steps were solid, she
didn’t have trouble finding safe footing the whole way up.
Duke was ahead of her and she could tell he was making sure to clear
a little of the path to make it easier for her. She was, after all,
out of practice.

The band had
protested, when then found out what the plan was but Lenny calmly
explained that this was something she had to do. She could tell they
felt left out by being left at the Lodge but she had to do this
without an audience. Luke, especially, seemed jilted. But like Duke
said, one thing at a time.

***

Duke was proud of
Lenny for telling him the whole truth last night; he knew it hadn’t
been easy. He was determined that she see this through. Nothing had
ever seemed so right like when Lenny took to the slopes. His insides
were still churning from all the new information. Shane had better
stay away or Duke would end him. And Cody, even though she was
Duke’s niece, was no longer welcome in his home. Lenny was
really the only one who had ever mattered to Duke.

She’d saved
his life at a time when he was falling apart. He’s gotten into
the Hollywood scene of snowboarding and things went from awesome to
terrifying very quickly. You can only drink yourself into a blackout
so many times before you decide that enough is enough. He got off
the bottle and moved to the mountains where he met his niece’s
best friend.