Learning To Live (Zombie Overload Series) (5 page)

"Shut
up. So I take it, then, that nothing else exciting happened. You can
be such an asshole, Jake."

"Yeah,
but you love this asshole." He grins that damn killer-grin at me
again and makes my insides melt.

I
roll my eyes at him and look out my window.
I definitely
don't
love him...I don't!

We
come to a small town, and to my surprise, Jake pulls up to a gas
station. I ask him what he's doing and he tells me that vehicles do
need gas sometimes...and he's hungry.

"Well, you just
said you stopped by Hooters, so maybe next time you're there you need
to focus on the
food
."

"Ha.
Ha. What is it you like to say? Oh, yeah. Bite me!"

Jake
laughs at the feigned pissed-off look I give him as he jumps out of
the truck. I stay in my seat and watch for anything that moves. I
hear Jake put the gas nozzle in the tank and then silence. After a
few moments of that silence, I whip my head around to look toward the
back to where he should be, but he's gone!

I
feel a few seconds of panic before I tell myself he must have gone
inside for some reason. I force myself to relax and turn back to look
out my side window...and scream bloody murder!

Shoving
open the door, I hit Jake in the stomach with it...hard.

"You
stupid ignorant piece of dog shit! What the hell?" I kick and
punch him. He's laughing, but yelps each time I connect. "
I
hate you
! You are the biggest damn jerk alive...
or
dead!"

Jake
bear hugs me. Then, still laughing, he asks if I'm done trying to
kill him. I snap back, "No", and he just holds me while I
fight to get free.

Then
he backs me up against the truck. Recognizing the look in his eyes, I
stop fighting and turn my head to the side, away from him.

"Jake,
no," I plead in almost a whisper.

Jake
stops, sighs, and backs away from me. He turns and walks back to the
opposite side of the truck.

I
watch him go, but I don't feel bad. In fact, I'm kinda angry about
it.
Why does he keep tempting me? Why can't Jake understand I
do
still love Will, no matter how much my body reacts to him?
I
climb back in the truck, slam the door, and rest my forehead against
the cold glass.
Ugh!
This is just one more complication I
don't need!

I
sigh, lift my head, and look around-remembering how loud we were.
Still no zombies. I wonder if all the undead have completely
zombified this town and left in search of fresh victims?

I
look to the back and see Jake standing by the pump, filling the tank,
and I decide to get out. I reach back in for my gun, slip it in my
holster, and then walk around the truck to where Jake is standing.

"Hey,"
I greet him, softly.

"Hey,"
he answers back, just as softly. He looks miserable and upset.

"Look,
it's ok. It's done. Forget about it," I tell him.

He
gives me a sharp look, "I'm not sure I can, Canada. I'll try to
give you some time, but I can't even promise you that. I want you.
I'm sorry."

I
look away from him, appreciating his honesty-but at the same time,
his words irritate me.
I need him to be strong because I'm not so
sure that I can be.

He
finishes filling up the tank and we head into the store. The inside
isn't very large. It has three short aisles and we clear each one.
There are a set of restrooms, another door that says "employees
only" and then, finally, a door that is unmarked and I assume
may hold a manager's office.

Jake's
clears the restrooms and the office and then we both go through the
employee door, excited to see the room stocked full with all kinds of
goodies. I move to the back corner of the room, reading labels on the
boxes as I pass. When I reach the wall and turn around, Jake is so
close to me, I can't move. Fire burns in his eyes, and my legs
suddenly feel weak.

He
wraps his arms around me and-just like that-I'm wrapping my own
around him. When our lips meet, the kiss starts slow, but quickly
builds up to the hot passion we shared just a short time before. Jake
moves his lips from my own and places a hand on each side of my head.
He gently pushes my head back and layers kisses around my neck,
moving up to my ear, and sending chills through my body. I gasp when
his lips attach to my neck and the suction bruises my skin.

Finally,
he takes his mouth from my throbbing neck and leans his forehead
against my own, his hands pressing against the wall on each side of
my head. Our heavy breathing fills the quiet of the backroom. Jake's
eyes are closed and then suddenly, they're not. My eyes widen and my
heart leaps when I look at them.
So beautiful. So damn intense!

Jake
clears his throat and with his forehead still against mine, says, "I
want you, Canada. I want you bad! But not here and not in the truck.
I want the first time I make love to you to be in a bed, in a house,
and safe. Will's gone, Honey." My eyes fill with tears at the
mention of Will. Jake puts one hand on the back of my neck and
lightly massages. Softly, he continues, "I'm sorry, Sweetheart,
but he is. And you know that. Let me take care of you and the boys.
Let me love you. I'm not asking you to forget Will, I would never do
that. But I need you. I love you."

I
watch him as he watches me, waiting for my answer.
He's right,
Will
is
gone. I don't have a husband to take care of me and
the boys anymore. Back when the world was normal, I would never have
considered moving on so fast, but this isn't a normal world. This is
a world where fighting and surviving is now the norm. I don't want to
do this alone. I
can't
do this alone. And why the hell should
I have to?And―
wait
. He loves me?
Me
? I'm not so
sure I believe he really does but I won't lie and say it doesn't make
me feel good to hear it. But again, he's so very beautiful, so
sexy...and I'm so
not
! Plus we've only known each other a few
days. Can people 'love' someone in such a short amount of time?

Then
my thoughts go back to Will. Will and I fell in love fast, as in day
one.
So I guess it's possible, IF I were someone like Sara.
I'm not in any way beautiful or sexy and no real prize. Except to
Will I was, of course! Hell, Sara is the type men fight and kill
over-definitely not someone like me. So, no, I don't believe him, but
I can't imagine Will would want me to try staying alive and keeping
the boys alive alone, either. I believe he would want Jake to take
care of us, if he absolutely couldn't do it himself. Of course Will
didn't care too much about Jake when he was alive and knew Jake had
kissed me, but now that he's gone, Will would want someone tough who
knows how to fight and keep others alive to protect us. I know he
respected that part of Jake. So it would be ok with Will if I had
Jake in my life, right?

Screw it. I
have to do what I have to do now.

I
watch Jake's eyes widen as I smile up at him. I nod my head and he
gives out a shout and a laugh, picking me up and swinging me around.
My body aches with pain-not being fully healed yet-but I don't care.
Jake kisses me hard and deep, and the pain is forgotten. He holds me
away from him, his eyes shining with happiness, and tells me he's
going to get the truck and move it to the back door so we can load up
what we can of the boxes, and then get out of here.

I
smile and nod my head, then my eyes follow him as he leaves the room.
My mind wants to fight me on my decision, but I ignore it. Instead, I
allow myself to feel some happiness.

While
he's gone I start moving boxes closer to the back door.
I
hear the truck pull up and I walk over to open the door, jolting to a
stop when I hear the cowbell on the
front
door clank as it's opened.
What
did he go back to the front door for?

Then
it crosses my mind that it might not even
be
Jake in the front, but
I'm too
afraid to go look.
And I don't want
to open the
back door in case it
is
Jake
in the front with a very good reason why he left the back in such a
hurry.
SHIT!
What
do I do?

My
heart is slamming into my chest from the panic that is building and
my mind is barely able to function. Finally getting my shit together,
I run over and hide behind a large stack of boxes in the corner. The
lighting in this room is dim, so in the corner, it's almost dark. I
feel pretty confident no one will find me here. I don't think,
whoever it is, is an undead unless they've learned to open
doors―
Wait! Did that door open
in
or
out
?
And could a zombie have gotten past Jake who had just left the front?
What the hell is going on? If Jake is messing with me, I'm gonna kill
him!

Anger
fills me with that thought, but not enough to make me storm out
acting like a fool. Hearing footsteps approach the storeroom, I
crouch down even more and pull out my gun, careful not to make a
sound. The steps are slow and have a distinct slide to them.
Ah,
hell! It's an undead. Damn it!

Even
though my body is screaming at me not to move, my mind is telling me
that I have to be the one who's ready and
not
the one who's
surprised, so I force myself to peek around the box.

It
comes into view with another step and a scream echoes through my body
and my mind, almost totally shutting down both. I only make a short,
strangled sound aloud-but it's enough.

Its
head slowly turns toward me. I back up the few small steps I can
before I slam into the wall.

Please!
Please, don't make me do this! Not this!
Please!

The
zombie reaches its arms out toward me, shuffling and limping in my
direction. I can't raise my gun.
I just can't!

I
hear its raspy moans. I look into its sunken face. Its eyes droop and
its mouth hangs open. Its hair is matted and filthy. Its clothes are
torn and stained.

The
undead is closer, just six feet away. Somehow, I find a small amount
of strength left in my body, and I raise my gun.

Pointing
it as its head-I close my eyes, open my mouth, and scream with so
much rage, so much anger, and too much pain.

"
I
love you, Will!
I'm so sorry."

Then
I pull the trigger.

I
collapse on the ground next to my husband. I don't care what he'd
become, how he smells, or how he looks. This man was my husband and I
love him.

I
throw myself across his back, crying and screaming from the pain.
Emotional pain that is so much stronger and deeper than even before
when we left him behind and I knew he was dead. The pain was great
then, but I didn't know
he was a zombie
. Now, I know. And I
shot him. I shot my own husband! The man who was everything to me.

I
know he was already dead, that it was no longer my husband. I really
do. But when it's someone you love-someone you could never imagine
yourself hurting-and you have to put a bullet in their head? The
person you said "I love you" to, who said the same to you?
The one you dreamed of growing old with? Had held and been held by?
Went through good and bad times, which only made your relationship
grow stronger with? No one should have to do this!
No one!

I
vaguely hear movement behind me, but I don't care. I feel hands grab
my arms, pulling me away from my husband, and I fight to get away-not
because I think it might be a zombie, but because they are taking me
away from my husband. Then I hear my name being called and Jake is on
the floor behind me, his arms around my chest and stomach, trying to
hold me back from Will's body.

Jake's
stronger than I am and I fall back against him. We just sit on the
floor like that, him holding me as I cry from anger and pain. Jake
lays his chin on top of my head and places his hand on my cheek. My
sobs eventually quiet in volume but the intensity is still strong. I
turn, wrapping my arms around Jake's head, and tuck my face into his
neck, unable to look at Will's body any longer. Jake pulls me tighter
to him, trying to comfort and calm me.

"I
thought I...told you...not to touch...my wife."

Jake
jumps back about two feet and I jump in the air about the same
distance, both of us screaming. Jake grabs me and yanks me back with
him. We both press against the wall and stare at Will's body. But
Will's eyes are open and-and he's
breathing
!
Still nervous, we stay against the wall.