Least Said (26 page)

Tina
made
sure
that
I
did
exactly
that
and
I
felt
like
such
an
idiot
trailing
back
and
forth
in
my
newly
acquired
finery,
which
meant
that
not
just
Jon,
but
Calum,
too,
could
voice
an
opinion
on
every
garment
and
insist
in
unison
that
there
wasn’t
a
single
one
that
didn’t
suit
me.
This
dress
brought
out
the
colour
of
my
eyes,
those
trousers
gave
me
a
bottom
that
even
Beyoncé
would
envy,
and
those
shoes
made
my
legs
seem
endless.
The
compliments
got
more
and
more
outrageous
but,
though
I
was
laughing
along
with
everyone
else,
every
time
I
even
stabbed
a
guess
at
how
much
I
might
have
spent
in
total
I
felt
sick
to
my
stomach.

Even
William
staring
at
me,
clearly
awestruck
by
the
glamorously
garbed
mummy,
and
piping
up,
‘You
look
just
like
a
princess,’
didn’t
totally
dispel
the
unease
I
felt
at
my
extravagance.

‘Come
on,
now,’
Jon
coaxed,
as
we
made
our
way
upstairs
to
get
ready
for
our
evening
out.
‘What’s
bothering
you,
because
something
is,
isn’t
it?’

‘Everything
was
very
expensive,
Jon,’
I
said,
knowing
guilt
was
written
clearly
across
my
face.
‘I
never
go
in
those
kinds
of
shops,
had
never
even
heard
of
most
of
them.
You
couldn’t
find
a
price
tag
for
love
nor
money,
so
I
have
no
idea
how
much
I’ve
spent
–
except
that
it
will
have
been
way
too
much.’

Jon
closed
the
bedroom
door
behind
us
and
pulling
me
to
him,
he
held
me
close
and
rested
his
chin
on
the
top
of
my
head.
His
laughter
rumbled
against
my
ear
and
I
could
hear
it
in
his
voice
as
he
said,
‘If
you
bothered
to
keep
an
eye
on
our
finances,
my
lovely,
and
didn’t
just
leave
it
all
to
me,
you
would
know
that
a
few
clothes
and
pairs
of
shoes
aren’t
going
to
break
the
bank
–
however
expensive
they
are.’

‘But
there’s
the
holiday,
and
we’re
trying
for
another
baby...’

‘Mmmm,
so
we
are,’
his
arms
tightened
and
he
grinned
wolfishly
as
he
wondered
out
loud,
‘I
wonder
if
we
have
time
to
be
work
on
that
before
the
taxi
gets
here.’

‘Be
serious,’
I
pushed
him
away,
‘we
won’t
be
able
to
afford
either
if
I
waste
all
our
money
on
–
on
fripperies.’

Jon
roared
with
laughter.
‘You
talk
as
if
we’re
practically
penniless
–
or
will
be
if
you
buy
a
designer
label
or
two.
Will
you
trust
me
when
I
tell
you,
once
again,
that
between
us,
we
earn
far
more
than
we
ever
spend?
We’re
never
extravagant,
rarely
treat
ourselves,
when
was
the
last
time
we
had
a
good
night
out
–
a
decent
meal
is
a
rarity.
Even
Will’s
tastes
are
simple.
In
a
shop
the
size
of
Hamley’s
-
and
with
Calum
and
I
tripping
over
each
other
to
spend
money
on
him
–
do
you
know
what
he
chose?’

I
shook
my
head,
but
I
had
a
premonition,
a
horrible
feeling
that
I
wasn’t
going
to
like
what
I
was
going
to
hear.

‘A
rugby
ball,’
Jon
chortled,
‘a
rugby
ball
that
cost
just
a
few
quid.
He
couldn’t
be
talked
out
of
it
and
he
insisted
there
was
nothing
else
he
wanted.
A
rugby
ball,
I
ask
you,
what
on
earth
would
make
him
choose
something
like
that?’

Chapter 7

‘He’s
a
boy
,’
Tina
told
me
flatly,
when
I
managed
a
few
words
with
her
under
the
guise
of
leaving
instructions
for
William’s
care
while
Jon
and
I
were
out.
‘Boys
like
rugby,
they
like
football,
and
sometimes
both.
We’ve
discussed
this
before
and,
personally,
I
would
be
far
more
worried
if
he’d
chosen
a
toy
gun
or
a
knife,
given
the
times
we
live
in.’

‘But...,’
I
began.

Tina
cut
in
before
I
could
say
more.
‘You
might
not
like
me
for
saying
this
yet
again,
Wendy,
but
there’s
no
one
else
who
can.
You’re
letting
this
obsession
with
a
long
ago
and
meaningless
one
night
stand
take
over
your
life,’
she
continued,
and
her
tone
was
quite
sharp.
‘You
imagine
you
see
a
man
who
is
a
virtual
stranger
and
who
–
there
is
the
slimmest
chance
-
might
be
Will’s
biological
father,
and
you’re
allowing
the
fixation
you
have
with
him
to
take
over
your
life.

‘If
you
go
on
like
this,
Wendy,
I
feel
I
have
to
remind
you
that
you’re
in
grave
danger
of
opening
up
Pandora’s
box
and
ruining
a
few
lives
in
the
process
–
not
least,
that
of
a
little
boy
and
the
father
who
absolutely
dotes
on
him.
For
God’s
sake,
Wendy,
for
once
and
for
all,
let
it
go.’

I
knew
she
was
right
and
that
I
must
get
a
grip
on
an
imagination
that
had
always
tended
to
run
away
with
me, especially
where
Will’s
conception
was
concerned.
I
did
my
best,
pushing
my
fears
and
concerns
deep
down
inside
of
me
in
order
to
enjoy
a
rare
night
out
with
a
husband
who
meant
the
world
to
me
–
in
fact,
together
with
our
son
he
was
my
whole
world.
The
answer,
I
was
becoming
more
and
more
convinced,
lay
in
me
becoming
pregnant
again,
because
that
alone
would
allay
my
fears
regarding
Will’s
paternity.

Having
another
child
hadn’t
been
high
on
my
list
of
priorities
which
was
why
I
hadn’t
really
contemplated
the
idea
seriously
before,
believing
that
if
it
happened
that
was
fine,
and
if
it
didn’t
that
was
also
fine.
I
had
always
been
more
than
grateful
for
the
one
child
we
had
–
but
now
my
priorities
had
changed
because
there
were
other
things
to
consider.

Not
only
would
a
new
baby
prove,
once
and
for
all,
that
Jon
was
capable
of
fathering
a
child,
but
would
also
complete
our
family,
give
Will
the
brother
or
sister
he
was
always
asking
for,
and
me
the
peace
of
mind
that
was
becoming
increasingly
elusive
since
that
chance
face
to
face
meeting
with
the
guilty
secret
from
my
past.
Tina
might
poo-poo
it,
but
there
was
no
doubt
in
my
mind
that
the
man
I’d
bumped
into
in
the
store
that
day
had
been
no
other
than
the
one
person
in
the
world
that
I
had
hoped
never
to
set
eyes
on
ever
again.

Jon
had
always
been
the
one
to
take
care
of
contraception,
which
was
odd,
given
the
facts.
I’d
just
always
assumed
that
it
had
been
his
way
of
convincing
himself
that
his
fertility
wasn’t
really
in
question
–
despite
the
low
sperm
count
verdict
we’d
been
given.
If
I
was
honest,
though,
we
hadn’t
always
been
ultra
careful
over
the
years
since
Will’s
birth
but
then,
I
reminded
myself,
neither
had
we
been
putting
any
real
effort
into
conceiving
a
child.
That
was
definitely
about
to
change
–
in
fact
it
already
had,
I
acknowledged
and
smiled.

‘Penny
for
them,’
Jon
said,
spearing
a
scallop
onto
his
fork
and
popping
it
into
his
mouth.

‘I
was
just
thinking,’
I
told
him,
not
altogether
truthfully,
‘that
for
us,
under
the
circumstances,
oysters
would
probably
have
been
a
more
appropriate
choice
of
starter.’

‘Oysters?’

I
just
stared
at
him,
raised
my
eyebrows
and
rubbed
my
foot
against
his
leg
under
the
table.

‘Oh,’
he
grinned
and
leaning
closer
whispered
in
my
year,
‘that’s
where
you’re
wrong
because
you’re
the
only
aphrodisiac
I
need,
woman,
you
look
good
enough
to
eat,
yourself.
In
fact,
if
we
weren’t
staying
with
friends
I
would
suggest
skipping
the
show
and...,’
he
leaned
close
and
whispered
in
my
ear
just
what
he
would
like
to
be
doing,
and
sooner
rather
than
later.