Leaves of Grass First and Death-Bed Editions (21 page)

 

Will you seek afar off? You surely come back at last,
In things best known to you finding the best or as good as the
best,
In folks nearest to you finding also the sweetest and strongest and
lovingest,
Happiness not in another place, but this place .. not for another
hour, but this hour,
Man in the first you see or touch .... always in your friend or
brother or nighest neighbor .... Woman in your mother or
lover or wife,
³²
And all else thus far known giving place to men and women.

 

When the psalm sings instead of the singer,
When the script preaches instead of the preacher,
When the pulpit descends and goes instead of the carver that
carved the supporting desk,
When the sacred vessels or the bits of the eucharist, or the lath
and plast, procreate as effectually as the young silversmiths or
bakers, or the masons in their overalls,
When a university course convinces like a slumbering woman
and child convince,
When the minted gold in the vault smiles like the
nightwatchman’s daughter,
When warrantee deeds loafe in chairs opposite and are my
friendly companions,
I intend to reach them my hand and make as much of them as I
do of men and women.

To think of Time .... to think through the retrospection,
To think of today .. and the ages continued henceforward.
Have you guessed you yourself would not continue? Have you
dreaded those earth-beetles?
Have you feared the future would be nothing to you?

 

Is today nothing? Is the beginningless past nothing?
If the future is nothing they are just as surely nothing.

 

To think that the sun rose in the east .... that men and women
were flexible and real and alive .... that every thing was real
and alive;
To think that you and I did not see feel think nor bear our part,
To think that we are now here and bear our part.

 

Not a day passes .. not a minute or second without an
accouchement;
Not a day passes .. not a minute or second without a corpse.

 

When the dull nights are over, and the dull days also,
When the soreness of lying so much in bed is over,
When the physician, after long putting off, gives the silent and
terrible look for an answer,
When the children come hurried and weeping, and the brothers
and sisters have been sent for,
When medicines stand unused on the shelf, and the camphor
smell has pervaded the rooms,
When the faithful hand of the living does not desert the hand of
the dying,
When the twitching lips press lightly on the forehead of the
dying,
When the breath ceases and the pulse of the heart ceases,
Then the corpse-limbs stretch on the bed, and the living look
upon them,
They are palpable as the living are palpable.

 

The living look upon the corpse with their eyesight,
But without eyesight lingers a different living and looks curiously
on the corpse.

 

To think that the rivers will come to flow, and the snow fall, and
fruits ripen .. and act upon others as upon us now .... yet
not act upon us;
To think of all these wonders of city and country .. and others
taking great interest in them .. and we taking small interest
in them.

 

To think how eager we are in building our houses,
To think others shall be just as eager .. and we quite indifferent.

 

I see one building the house that serves him a few years .... or
seventy or eighty years at most;
I see one building the house that serves him longer than that.

 

Slowmoving and black lines creep over the whole earth .... they
never cease .... they are the burial lines,
He that was President was buried, and he that is now President
shall surely be buried.

 

Cold dash of waves at the ferrywharf,
Posh and ice in the river .... half-frozen mud in the streets,
A gray discouraged sky overhead .... the short last daylight of
December,
A hearse and stages .... other vehicles give place,
The funeral of an old stagedriver .... the cortege mostly drivers.

 

Rapid the trot to the cemetery,
Duly rattles the deathbell .... the gate is passed .... the grave is
halted at .... the living alight .... the hearse uncloses,
The coffin is lowered and settled .... the whip is laid on the
coffin,
The earth is swiftly shovelled in .... a minute .. no one moves or
speaks .... it is done,
He is decently put away .... is there anything more?

 

He was a goodfellow,
Freemouthed, quicktempered, not badlooking, able to take his
own part,
Witty, sensitive to a slight, ready with life or death for a friend,
Fond of women, .. played some .. eat hearty and drank
hearty,
Had known what it was to be flush .. grew lowspirited toward the
last.. sickened .. was helped by a contribution,
Died aged forty-one years .. and that was his funeral.

 

Thumb extended or finger uplifted,
Apron, cape, gloves, strap .... wetweather clothes .... whip
carefully chosen .... boss, spotter, starter, and hostler,
Somebody loafing on you, or you loafing on somebody ....
headway .... man before and man behind,
Good day’s work or bad day’s work .... pet stock or mean
stock .... first out or last out .... turning in at night,
To think that these are so much and so nigh to other drivers ....
and he there takes no interest in them.

 

The markets, the government, the workingman’s wages.... to
think what account they are through our nights and days;
To think that other workingmen will make just as great account of
them .. yet we make little or no account.

 

The vulgar and the refined .... what you call sin and what you
call goodness .. to think how wide a difference;
To think the difference will still continue to others, yet we lie
beyond the difference.

 

To think how much pleasure there is!
Have you pleasure from looking at the sky? Have you pleasure
from poems?

Do you enjoy yourself in the city? or engaged in business? or
planning a nomination and election? or with your wife and
family?
Or with your mother and sisters? or in womanly housework? or
the beautiful maternal cares?

 

These also flow onward to others .... you and I flow onward;
But in due time you and I shall take less interest in them.

 

Your farm and profits and crops .... to think how engrossed you are;
To think there will still be farms and profits and crops .. yet for
you of what avail?

 

What will be will be well—for what is is well,
To take interest is well, and not to take interest shall be well.

 

The sky continues beautiful .... the pleasure of men with
women shall never be sated .. nor the pleasure of women
with men .. nor the pleasure from poems;
The domestic joys, the daily housework or business, the building
of houses—they are not phantasms .. they have weight and
form and location;
The farms and profits and crops .. the markets and wages and
government .. they also are not phantasms;
The difference between sin and goodness is no apparition;
The earth is not an echo .... man and his life and all the things
of his life are well-considered.

 

You are not thrown to the winds .. you gather certainly and safely
around yourself,
Yourself! Yourself! Yourself forever and ever!

 

It is not to diffuse you that you were born of your mother and
father—it is to identify you,
It is not that you should be undecided, but that you should be
decided;
Something long preparing and formless is arrived and formed
in you,
You are thenceforth secure, whatever comes or goes.
The threads that were spun are gathered .... the weft crosses the
warp .... the pattern is systematic.

 

The preparations have every one been justified;
The orchestra have tuned their instruments sufficiently .... the
baton has given the signal.

 

The guest that was coming .... he waited long for reasons ....
he is now housed,
He is one of those who are beautiful and happy .... he is one of
those that to look upon and be with is enough.

 

The law of the past cannot be eluded,
The law of the present and future cannot be eluded,
The law of the living cannot be eluded .... it is eternal,
The law of promotion and transformation cannot be eluded,
The law of heroes and good-doers cannot be eluded,
The law of drunkards and informers and mean persons cannot be
eluded.

 

Slowmoving and black lines go ceaselessly over the earth,
Northerner goes carried and southerner goes carried ... and they
on the Atlantic side and they on the Pacific, and they
between, and all through the Mississippi country .... and all
over the earth.

 

The great masters and kosmos are well as they go .... the heroes
and good-doers are well,
The known leaders and inventors and the rich owners and pious
and distinguished may be well,
But there is more account than that .... there is strict account
of all.

 

The interminable hordes of the ignorant and wicked are not
nothing,
The barbarians of Africa and Asia are not nothing,
The common people of Europe are not nothing .... the
American aborigines are not nothing,
A zambo or a foreheadless Crowfoot or a Camanche is not nothing,
The infected in the immigrant hospital are not nothing .... the
murderer or mean person is not nothing,
The perpetual succession of shallow people are not nothing as
they go,
The prostitute is not nothing .... the mocker of religion is not
nothing as he goes.

 

I shall go with the rest .... we have satisfaction:
I have dreamed that we are not to be changed so much .... nor
the law of us changed;
I have dreamed that heroes and good-doers shall be under the
present and past law,
And that murderers and drunkards and liars shall be under the
present and past law;
For I have dreamed that the law they are under now is enough.

 

And I have dreamed that the satisfaction is not so much
changed .... and that there is no life without satisfaction;
What is the earth? what are body and soul without satisfaction?

 

I shall go with the rest,
We cannot be stopped at a given point .... that is no
satisfaction;
To show us a good thing or a few good things for a space of
time—that is no satisfaction;
We must have the indestructible breed of the best, regardless of
time.

 

If otherwise, all these things came but to ashes of dung;
If maggots and rats ended us, then suspicion and treachery and
death.

 

Do you suspect death? If I were to suspect death I should die
now,
Do you think I could walk pleasantly and well-suited toward
annihilation?

 

Pleasantly and well-suited I walk,
Whither I walk I cannot define, but I know it is good,
The whole universe indicates that it is good,
The past and the present indicate that it is good.

 

How beautiful and perfect are the animals! How perfect is my
soul!
How perfect the earth, and the minutest thing upon it!
What is called good is perfect, and what is called sin is just as
perfect;
The vegetables and minerals are all perfect.. and the
imponderable fluids are perfect;
Slowly and surely they have passed on to this, and slowly and
surely they will yet pass on.

 

O my soul! if I realize you I have satisfaction,
Animals and vegetables! if I realize you I have satisfaction,
Laws of the earth and air! if I realize you I have satisfaction.

 

I cannot define my satisfaction .. yet it is so,
I cannot define my life .. yet it is so.

 

I swear I see now that every thing has an eternal soul!
The trees have, rooted in the ground .... the weeds of the sea
have .... the animals.

 

I swear I think there is nothing but immortality!
That the exquisite scheme is for it, and the nebulous float is for it,
and the cohering is for it,
And all preparation is for it .. and identity is for it .. and life and
death are for it.

I WANDER all night in my vision,
Stepping with light feet .... swiftly and noiselessly stepping and
stopping,
Bending with open eyes over the shut eyes of sleepers;
Wandering and confused .... lost to myself .... ill-assorted ....
contradictory,
Pausing and gazing and bending and stopping.

 

How solemn they look there, stretched and still;
How quiet they breathe, the little children in their cradles.

 

The wretched features of ennuyees, the white features of corpses,
the livid faces of drunkards, the sick-gray faces of onanists,
^x
The gashed bodies on battlefields, the insane in their strong-
doored rooms, the sacred idiots,
The newborn emerging from gates and the dying emerging from
gates,
The night pervades them and enfolds them.