Leaves of Revolution (26 page)

“SO WHEN WERE YOU planning on showing me your hand, Linnea?” William’s voice was unexpected, interrupting her half-asleep daze as she stared into the fire in the sitting room.

Across from her, Zander raised his head – and an eyebrow. “You still didn’t tell him?”

“I’m fine. I didn’t cut my hand
off
.”

She regretted it as soon as the words were out of her mouth. Everyone in the room was silent, looking anywhere but at her or at each other.

An hour ago, when he’d stepped out of Max’s room for long enough to accept a plate of dinner, William had broken the news that he wasn’t sure Max’s arm could be saved – at least not all of it. Max didn’t know yet; they’d all been sort of in shock since then.

 Only William didn’t seem to acknowledge the awkwardness of her comment. “It still needs to be treated, Linnea,” he said, though he walked toward the window instead of her, setting his bag on a low table as he went.

They still hadn’t heard anything from Nathaniel. Thomas and Zander kept taking turns pacing to the window and back, looking for any sign of him, or for a message from a bird.

Quinn had already had to talk Marcus out of going out into the snow searching for him – it wasn’t worth it to risk Marcus’ life, since there was a good chance Nathaniel was safe in the village, and not out in the weather.

Thomas cleared his throat. “At this point, I’m just praying he’s not out there. Even Aidel would have a challenge getting us a message through
that
.”

Sometime since dinner, the weather had turned from an ordinary snowstorm to a blizzard. The wind shook the windows every couple of minutes, and the air outside was blindingly white. As William looked out, something – a stick maybe – flew up and smacked the glass, making all of them jump.

After a tense few seconds, William confirmed that it hadn’t caused any damage.

“We should go out and close the shutters,” Thomas said. “It’ll help it warm up in here anyway.”

“Depends on your definition of
warm
,” Zander grumbled, though he got up and followed Thomas without hesitation.

William continued staring out the window as long as he could, until the heavy wooden shutters clattered shut, blocking his view – or most of it. Someone opened the slats a little, but William still turned away and came to sit on the table across from her. “Okay Nay, let’s have a look.” He grabbed a pillow and set it on her lap before taking hold of her towel-wrapped hand and laying it on the cushion.

“It’s not still bleeding,” she said.
At least not enough to seep through the towel.

He nodded, though she could tell he wasn’t really focused on what she was saying; his mind was somewhere else.

When Quinn appeared in the doorway a second later, Linnea was relieved.

“Hey,” Quinn said, walking over and laying a hand on William’s shoulder.

She would probably never cease to be amazed at the way Quinn’s touch could literally turn the light back on in her brother’s eyes. His whole body grew visibly less stiff as he lifted his hand to his shoulder to place over hers.

Quinn leaned down and kissed the top of his head, pausing to comb his hair back off his forehead with her fingers before she came and sat down on the couch beside Linnea.

“Samuel’s fed and back with Mia,” she said. “He should be good for a little while.”

“Is he asleep?” William asked.

“Not for the night.”

“Good. I miss him.”

Linnea sometimes wondered if Quinn had any idea just how much she meant to William, but then she was pretty sure that Quinn was just as affected by him.

She winced and sucked in a breath as William pried the towel from the spots where the blood had begun to dry. A fresh trickle started flowing from her pointer finger. She knew she sounded dramatic when she mumbled, “What are you going to do to me this time?”

Quinn chuckled and gently rubbed Linnea’s back, but William only shrugged. “It’s up to you, Nay. It’s not that bad. The bleeding will stop. Two of the cuts are fine. This one,” he pointed to the fresh blood, “will probably leave a scar if I don’t put a stitch in it, but it will be small. So you can choose.”

“Will it heal faster if I let you do it?”

“Yes. Faster and better. It’ll stop hurting sooner, too – though it’ll hurt worse tonight and tomorrow once the numbing stuff wears off.”

She sighed. She didn’t care about the scar, really, but she didn’t want to be any more useless to everyone than being nearly five moons pregnant already made her. They’d already had to help her so much when she’d been sick; she needed her hands. “Do you have time to be worrying about me?”

“I wish that wasn’t a valid question right now, but yes, I can give you a few minutes. Max is asleep, and James… I’ve done everything I can. Now I can only keep him comfortable and wait to see what happens.”

She nodded. She’d been in to see James earlier. After seeing that, she wasn’t sure what to wish for.

“Do you think Nathaniel would be able to do anything else if he was here?”

“No. Although I wouldn’t have had to allow that Nicholas guy to mangle Max’s arm getting the arrow out.”

“Will…” Quinn’s voice was low; she leaned all the way forward until her forehead was nearly touching William’s and squeezed his knee with her hand.

He closed his eyes, inhaling and exhaling deeply several times before he opened them again. “I know,” he whispered.

“Ugh. All right, enough,” Linnea said. “There’s still a chance James will make it, right?”

“Yes.”

“And still a chance that Max’s arm will be okay?”

William grimaced. “A chance, yes.”

“And Callum Haddon is dead, along with nearly all of the troops that didn’t desert him. Things could be worse. I think it’s time to celebrate instead of moping.”

Quinn gave her half a smile. “You’re right. Things could be a lot worse tonight.”

“Especially for you,” William teased, as she felt a sudden stinging sensation in her finger.

“Ow, William!” She gritted her teeth. “You are not my favorite brother right now.”

Though his head stayed down, concentrating on her hand, she could see his forehead crinkle in amusement. “Am I ever?”

“No.”

That was a lie – mostly. She did actually appreciate his skilled, steady hand, especially a moment later when the door in the entryway burst open with a blast of frigid air, and he didn’t flinch. He didn’t even look up as a snow-covered object flew into the room, flapping ice crystals everywhere. He did use his thumb to brush away the freezing drop that landed on Linnea’s palm.

He was a lot less annoying now that her finger was going numb, too.

“It’s just us,” Thomas called.

“And a
bird
,” Linnea said.

As if she'd called it, the creature circled over her head and then landed on the table next to William, blinking right at her.

“Who are you?” she asked. She’d never seen this bird before.

“He’s one of Tobias’,” Zander said from the doorway. His hat was so crusted with white, it might have been made from snow.

At the sound of his voice, the bird perked up, nodding once at Linnea before flying right over William’s head and across the room, landing on Zander’s shoulder.

“All day, he’s been saying that the bird belongs to Tobias,” Thomas said, “but all day the bird has been disagreeing with him. Not always politely, either.”

Quinn stood and walked halfway across the room, making the clicking sound that ordinarily summoned a bird, but this one didn’t budge. Instead it tapped one foot on Zander’s shoulder.

Zander flinched. “I don’t think I like having those talons quite so close to my neck, Miss Bird.”

The chirruping sound the creature made sounded exactly like a chuckle, and she launched herself down, swooping neatly to land again on Zander’s outstretched arm.

“That’s better. Thank you,” he said, reaching with his other hand to pop open the clasp on the bird’s canister. “Do you have anything in here?”

She did. Several small sheets were rolled together inside the container. One fell as Zander pulled them out. Thomas retrieved it and then took the whole roll of papers and handed them to Quinn.

Linnea was frustrated at being pinned down by her hand as she watched Quinn frown, flipping to the last paper first and then try to organize the notes again.

“It’s from Nathaniel,” Quinn said after a minute. “He’s safe – he never left Valderwood. He was in the middle of some kind of surgery when he and Tobias decided the storm looked too threatening to chance it.”

“Is there a place he’s welcome to stay there?” William asked.

“I can only guess they have some kind of option. He didn’t say who they were with, just not to expect him until the weather’s clear for travel.” She looked at Zander. “And Tobias sides with the bird in the argument you’re having. Apparently he recognizes her from his barn, but she’s never been willing to carry messages for him before.”

“Looks like you found yourself a bird,” Thomas said.

Zander’s eyes widened. “Can I just
do
that – just find a bird and take it?”

“No,” Linnea said, chuckling, “you can’t. The proper way to phrase it is that she’s found a human. If you’re nice enough to her, she might keep you.”

“I don’t think I’ve been very
nice
to her so far.”

“She gets to decide that, too.”

“And if I don’t
want
a bird?”

As soon as he said it, the bird flew from his arm to his shoulder again; Linnea laughed as her talons made indents in his sweater.

Zander heaved a heavy sigh. “All right already! I’m sorry!”

Everyone in the room was laughing by the time the bird landed on the back of an armchair.

“Well, you are good for entertainment value, anyway,” Zander said. “Since we don’t have the internet.”

Linnea could see it, though – he already liked the bird at least as much as it liked him. She wasn’t going to be surprised if the thing flew out of his room in the morning.

“Okay, Nay, I’m all finished here.” William’s words startled her; she’d almost forgotten he was right there, working on her hand.

“Thanks,” she said, after the second it took her concentration to return. “That was fast.”

“Not really,” William said, glancing back at Zander and the bird. “But I think we were both a little distracted.”

She didn’t know what he meant by that, but whatever it was, if he didn’t stop looking at her that way, she was going to kick him. Lucky for him, he packed up and left the room – probably to go check on Max and James again.

“So what are you going to name her?” she asked, walking over to Zander and the bird.

The terror in Zander’s eyes nearly made her laugh again. “I have to come up with some kind of bird name now?”

“Apparently she doesn’t have one,” Quinn said, flipping through the pages of Nathaniel’s note again.

“I don’t know anything about bird names.”

“There aren’t rules. You can just pick something you like.”

He frowned. “Your birds all have some kind of strange bird names. She’s already going to be odd for hanging around me.”

This was
so
the wrong time for her to be finding anyone adorable. “Fine. How about Larya?”

“That’s a bird name?”

“Sure.”

He narrowed his eyes. “You’re not just telling me that so that my bird will be the strange one and I won’t even know?”

“Meech, Zander! Have I really been that awful to you before?”

He might have tried to answer the question – if his face hadn’t been turning purple. The laugh that spilled out of him filled the entire room. “
Meech?
” he spluttered when he managed to catch a breath. “I’m asking an honest question here, and you come out with
meech?
”

She looked at Quinn. “Not a word in your world?”

“No.” Quinn glanced up from her letter only long enough to give Linnea the same kind of look William had.
Stupid married people.

“All right then. Yes, Zander,
meech
. Now you have a new bird and a new word.”

“And it’s not even my birthday,” he muttered.

LINNEA HAD NO IDEA what time it was when she came out of Max and Thomas’ room and pulled the door silently closed, but she knew it was late, so the sight of the figure in the hallway surprised her.

“What are you doing out here?”

“Second night of duty,” Zander said. “I didn’t realize you were still up.”

She looked down the hall. The door to the bedroom she’d been using was standing wide open.

When she looked back at him, she thought maybe his cheeks had gone a little red, but she couldn’t tell for sure.

There was no reason to say anything.

“Is William still with James?”

He shook his head. “I promised to wake him if Dorian came out and said they needed him so he’d listen to Quinn and try to get a couple hours of sleep.”

“He’ll be back in an hour, tops.”

“He already poked his head out ten minutes after he went in there.”

“Sounds about right.” She frowned at him. “You’re not supposed to still take a night shift when you end up working the entire day, you know.”

“And you’re not supposed to still be wandering around the house at midnight checking on everyone when there are other people to do it. I don’t seem to remember you getting enough sleep last night, either.”

“
I
wasn’t riding around the kingdom and fighting in battles all day. I took a
nap
earlier, before everything got so crazy. You can’t go days on end without any sleep…” She paused as she thought of something. “You were sleeping in there, with Dorian and James.” In the room where James was now fighting for his life.

He pressed his lips together so tightly they nearly disappeared.

“Zander!”

His eyes dropped to the floor, and something at the bottom of her rib cage went right along with them.

She took a deep breath. Was he planning on sleeping on the floor in the hallway? “Nathaniel isn’t here tonight. His bed is empty.”

Zander grimaced. “He’s sharing a room with Marcus.”

“Is Marcus in bed?”

“No.”

“Come on.”

When he didn’t follow her immediately, she grabbed his hand.

His whole body stiffened before he yanked it back.

“Sorry,” she whispered. Though she didn’t know if she was.

“No, I’m sorry. You just surprised me.”

He was a terrible liar. “Come on then.”

Fifteen minutes later, Zander had a bed to sleep in and a change of clothes, though she wasn’t entirely convinced he would use either. At least she’d tried.

She was halfway down the hall contemplating actually going into her own room when a door opened and Dorian stepped into the hallway. She hurried over to him.

“Is everything all right?”

He nodded. “James is awake. He must be feeling a little better because he insisted I get out for a little while and make myself a fresh cup of tea.”

“I can get one for you.”

“He was fairly insistent that I be gone for at least ten minutes.”

She smiled – or tried to.

He turned to look at the door. “I don’t like leaving him for that long, though.”

“Would you like me to stay with him for a little bit?”

His hesitation was clear, but eventually he disappeared down the hall while she knocked softly and then opened the door.

“James?” she whispered.

“Princess Linnea?” His voice was weak, but he definitely looked better than when she’d come in here earlier. Or more conscious, at least. The cut by his left eye didn’t look too terrible, but she knew the more egregious injuries were hidden underneath the piles of quilts.

“Yes, it’s me.”

“What time is it?”

“I don’t know. Late. How are you? Are you in pain?”

“It’s all right for now.” He was lying, but she decided to let it go. “I’m sorry you have to see me like this, though.”

“You’re sorry for me to see you like what? A hero?”

“Not quite, milady. But thank you.”

She swallowed hard. “Can I get you anything?”

He shook his head, then lifted his hand a little, jiggling the rubber tube that ran from his hand to a glass bottle hanging from the bedpost. “I can’t have anything else.”

“Right, sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, Princess. Actually, it is I who need to apologize to you.”

“You’re a guard, James. You did what you were supposed to do. I heard you saved the lives of those children.”

“I don’t mean that. Given the chance to do today all over, there’s nothing I would change. If I could have saved any more of those people, I’d have gladly laid down my life right then to do so.”

“And that’s what makes you one of Quinn’s very best guards – it’s what makes all of us, myself included, so incredibly grateful to have your service.”

“But it’s also why I must apologize for my recent attempts to pursue your affections.”

Her stomach twisted into unnatural shapes and she could feel her pulse everywhere. “I don’t think that’s something you should have to be sorry for, either, James.”

“Yes it is. After what you’ve been through, after losing Ben the way you did, it was horribly unfair of me to even consider asking you to put yourself in that position again. You’ve already made the ultimate sacrifice in marriage to a soldier.”

“
I
didn’t get into a swordfight. You’re being too hard on yourself.”

“No, I’m not. My sacrifice might be large, but it’s easy. I knew my life might be forfeit when I made the choice to join. I’ve been living on borrowed time as it is ever since I was arrested by Tolliver. And now that it’s time to pay that debt, it will be simple.”

“It’s not time to pay that debt yet. You’re going to be fine.”

He closed his eyes for several seconds, which was good because it meant he couldn’t see her trembling lip.

His eyelids were a deep bluish-gray color that suggested a little too strongly that he might not be wrong, but she wasn’t going to think that way right now. He seemed to have trouble lifting them back open. “Either way, no one will ever ask me to do it twice. It would be wrong of me – was wrong of me – to even consider asking you to risk a price you’ve already paid.”

“Don’t I get to decide what price I’m willing to pay?”

“Certainly you do, milady. But we both know you weren’t attempting to pursue me.”

“Only because I’m not pursuing anyone right now, James. If I was in a different place…”

“Then I would have considered the return of your attentions the highest honor, milady. But it still wouldn’t make it right for me to ask for them. My greatest fear now, whatever happens, is that you might feel obligated to me in some way, and I never want that.”

“Well, I do owe you my sincere gratitude for your excellent service.”

“I’ll accept that.” His lips curled into the smallest semblance of a smile.

If they hadn’t lapsed into silence then, she would never have heard the tiny knock on the door, but she did, and turned around in time to see William enter.

He only managed to get his mouth halfway open before she stopped him with her most threatening glare. “You don’t get to comment on my bedtime unless I’m allowed to comment on yours.”

William sighed, but didn’t respond. “Are you ready for some more pain medicine, James?”

The way James looked now made it hard to believe she’d been having a full conversation with him only moments ago. His breathing was labored, and he barely managed to give William a nod of assent – though Will was already at his bedside with a glass syringe full of pale yellow liquid.

Once the medicine was in the tube, the harsh movements of James’ chest calmed, and his eyes closed. Within seconds, Linnea knew he was asleep. She stood and leaned over him, brushing his hair back from his hot, dry forehead before planting a kiss there. “Rest well, James,” she whispered.