Leaving Liberty (11 page)

“Let me get you some coffee. Black?”
Jamie was out of her chair and headed for the kitchen, giving Lane a look that
was part laughter and part disbelief.

“Milk and sugar, please, if there is
any.” Daisy moved into the living room, that small smile still pasted to her
face. She looked wary, unsure. Something about that fragile smile made him want
to reassure her, to promise her life would be easier. But that wasn’t on the
agenda and he hated himself for it.

He took a breath, wishing there was a
better way to say what he needed to say. “I forgot to mention we’ll be planting
the garden next week.”

           
She said nothing for a moment, brows rising higher. “You’re worried I’ll have a
problem with the garden? I assumed you would be around.”

           
“Right, we will be.” He rubbed the back of his neck, wishing Jamie could have
had this conversation. But it seemed he and Daisy just couldn’t catch a break.
Everything had to be as complicated and messy as possible.

           
“Lane, please, just tell me whatever it is.” Her voice was strained.

           
“Rocky will be working in the garden.” He saw her green eyes widen. “With me.
I’ll be bringing him out here when I come till and plant the seeds. Also, on
the weekends we weed and harvest.”

           
She seemed speechless. He could see her chest rising and falling rapidly.

           
“But why?” she whispered.

           
Lane flinched at the tone in her voice. Betrayal, disbelief. “Because we’re
friends.”

           
“Your family is friends with my father?” She glanced at Jamie, who was studying
the mug in her hand, hovering in the doorway.

           
“No, Rocky and I are friends.”

           
“Why?” This time her voice was stronger.

           
 The answer was so far in the past that he didn’t know where to start.
“Why is anyone friends?”

           
She snorted, crossing her arms over her chest. “Because you have things in
common, like goals, dreams, character.” She said the last word like an
accusation.

           
“Well, maybe we do.” It was a stupid response but he was floundering under her
angry gaze.

           
“You like to drink? You can’t keep a steady job? Have a habit of kicking your
dog out the door every morning?” She was breathing hard, eyes narrowed. “Excuse
me, but you look as if you’ve showered a bit too recently to have a lot in
common with my father.”

           
“He’s different now,” Jamie said quietly.

           
“Nobody changes that much.” She spoke without breaking eye contact with Lane.
Her tone was cold, empty.

           
“They do when they accept God’s forgiveness and make amends,” Lane said.

           
She opened her mouth, face creasing in anger, then seemed to think better of
it. Her gaze dropped to the carpet.

           
“Here.” Jamie held out Daisy’s mug, steam curling off the surface. “Have a seat
and we can talk about it.”

           
She took the mug, as if dreaming, lost in thought. Lane sat down at the table
and slanted a glance her way. Her face was closed, betraying nothing.

           
“I understand how-”

           
“Lane, please.” She held up a hand, as if to ward off his words. “You can’t
understand.”

           
He fell silent. He did, just a little. His parents were wonderful, but he and
Rocky had an interesting past. After one tragic misstep, he’d lost a promotion
because of that man. Being passed over had cost him much more than a paycheck.

           
“I need to think about this.” Daisy looked up at him, then Jamie. “I’m heading
back to the library. Can we talk later?”

           
“Of course.”

“Okay, and thanks for the coffee.” Her
lips went up in a pale imitation of a smile and she left the mug on the table,
not pausing on her way out the door.

There was a long silence as they
listened to the sound of her footsteps across the porch, down the steps. Then a
second later, a car engine fading into the distance. She was gone, and there
was nothing he could do except pray she understood why he wouldn’t keep Rocky
away.

                                               
***

Daisy shifted into first gear and
followed the winding driveway toward the main road. It was all she could do to
continue the long-ago memorized motions of driving the car, because her brain
had overloaded about ten minutes before. Overloaded and shut down.

The blue sky seemed to be mocking her
with its clarity and cheerfulness. Life was a messy activity, she knew that.
But this? Beyond messy, beyond complicated.

Turning onto the main road, the tires
hummed on the pavement. Daisy blew out a long sigh.
Lord, I don’t understand
what You’re doing, but I trust You’ve got my future in mind.
That was all
she had. No fancy words, nothing clear. Just trust. It would have to do.

She glanced at the stack of papers on
the seat next to her. She’d been printing all morning at the library, hoping to
get started this afternoon on applications for grants. There were tens of
thousands of dollars in matching grants and federal loans for an old Carnegie
building like the library. She’d been ready to put in serious time on these
applications but it felt like her mind had been shut down. Yet again, her
personal life in Liberty was taking center stage.

And she hated that. Marie wouldn’t want
her to let the anxiety stand in her way. The old librarian had always been so
good at the pep talks, the to-do lists, and the goal plotting. She needed Marie
now. She’d never tried anything so big without her. Getting into college,
moving away from home, graduating and getting a real job- it had all happened
under Marie’s constant care and instruction. Daisy felt hot tears well up in her
eyes and blinked them angrily away.

Well, she wasn’t going to fall apart
now. If Lane thought bringing Rocky over to the cabin every day was going to
scare her back to Fresno, then he was wrong. He didn’t know a thing about her.
She had never put up with Rocky’s behavior when she was a teenager and she sure
wouldn’t let him run her life now.

Daisy lifted her chin and squinted at
the road, working at keeping the fierce anger burning despite a small, quiet
shadow of doubt. The picture of Lane whispering a prayer in the driveway
flashed before her eyes. Fury slipped away from her, leaving an aching sadness
behind. This was not a man who delighted in drama. He didn’t look happy when
she was shocked at his announcement. He looked… pained. As if he wished he could
fix the situation and couldn’t. She would have laughed if it hadn’t been so
awful. If there was anything she knew for certain, it was that she wasn’t going
to be able to call that cabin home, no matter how short a time, as long as her
alcoholic dad was wandering around.

Of course that wasn’t anything new.
She’d never felt at home in Liberty, never felt safe and comforted.

Pulling into a spot beside the old
library, Daisy cut the engine and glanced up at the red brick building. The windows
were clean and sparkling, the door nicely polished. The pitched roof showed
spots where the shingles were coming loose, but it was clean of debris and
branches. Everything about the place was welcoming and homey. Nita’s figure
appeared in silhouette passing through the lobby area, toward the children’s
section. This place had been the only safe spot in her childhood, housing the
only person who truly loved her. Her throat ached at the idea of walking away.

There wasn’t anything she could do,
except to follow her original plan. She would apply for grants, run the
fundraisers, and try to get the community behind her. Saving the library from
closing for the summer was possible, even though Mrs. Lindo wouldn’t pay her
and barely let her keep the keys. As for getting it in the sort of shape that
would keep the place open another fifty years, it seemed such a huge task, she
felt like she could hardly breathe. But Marie had believed in her when no one
else had. Saving Daisy McConnell when the town thought she was a lost cause and
she was determined to fight every adult within a mile? Talk about mission
impossible. She had to try, she owed Marie that much.

As for feeling comfortable here, it
wasn’t going to happen. No big deal. Just like last time, she’d do what she had
to do and get out of town.

Chapter Ten

“That went well.” Lane put a fist to his
forehead with a thunk.

“Interesting.”

He cracked an eye and gave Jamie a look.

“Why do you feel responsible for her? It
wasn’t as if you arranged the entire situation. In fact, if she’d taken your
advice and stayed in town, none of this would matter.” She took a sip of
coffee.

Lane sat up. “I don’t feel responsible.
I just feel bad.”

“Why?”

He groaned. “Now you sound like her.”

“Well, whatever it is, I don’t get it.
People who won’t take good advice drive you crazy but here you’re acting as if
you understand where she’s coming from.” She shrugged. “She’s nice enough, but
just let her do what she wants for the summer.”

He stared at the old, scarred table top.
It was made from planks from an ancient barn out on Interstate 25, repurposed
by Jamie into something to treasure. She was always the one who saw the
potential in what no one wanted but this time she wasn’t seeing clearly what
good could come from Daisy’s unexpected stay in Liberty.

“Life is too short to hold on to a
grudge.”

She sat up, frowning. “I don’t have
anything against her.”

“Not you, her.” He rubbed a hand over
his face, wincing at the sudden pain behind his eye that signaled a tension headache
coming on. “I believe she’s here for a reason, and it’s not to save the
library. Rocky needs forgiveness and she needs to forgive him, before it’s too
late.”

His last words hung in the air between
them, filling the space with silent misery.

“Lane,” she said gently. “You can’t see
every situation through the lens of Colt’s death.”

“Why not?” He tried to make his voice
even, but the crack in the last syllable gave him away. He still ached, still
grieved. “I was wrong, Jamie. It was a stupid argument and I let it come
between us. Two months later he was dead and I’ll never get to hear him say he
forgives me.”

Jamie’s mouth was pressed into a thin
line, her eyes shone with tears. “He does, Lane, I’m sure of it.”

“I know, but it’s not the same. I’ll
regret it until the day I die.” He stopped, struggling to gather his composure.
“Did I tell you he called me?”

“When?” A deep line appeared between her
brows.

“A week before the accident. He left a message
on the machine, joking around. Telling me to pull my head out of the ground and
talk to him.” He sucked in a breath. Shame shadowed his every word. “I erased
it and never called him back.”

Tears welled in her eyes. “Oh, Lane.”

“So, yes, it’s possible for me to view
every situation through the lens of that failure. I don’t want her to live with
that. And I don’t want Rocky to live with any more guilt than he really needs.”

She squeezed his fingers with one hand
and wiped her face with the other. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

He’d thought about it. Every day for
eight years, he’d thought about finally letting it all out. “I didn’t want you
to hate me.” He could barely meet her eyes.

“I would never-”

“I know.” He studied his sister’s hand,
so small compared to his own. “But I do.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever been prouder of
you.” Her words made him sit back in shock.

“For failing Colt? For turning my back
on my own brother when he reached out to me?”

She leaned forward, eyes intent on him.
“For not letting the story end here. For taking your pain and turning it into
something worth fighting for.” Tears still shone on her cheeks, and her lashes
were wet. “You’re right and I was wrong. Shrugging off their family troubles
isn’t what Christians do. We’ve got to see if we can bring them both some
peace.”

Hope struggled up in his chest like a
creature stirring from a deep sleep. He had fought despair for so long,
throwing himself on God’s mercy, pleading for the grace to move forward. “It’s
not going to be easy.”

Jamie laughed, giving his fingers
another squeeze. “I could have told you that after five minutes with the girl.”

He felt his lips tug up in an
involuntary smile, but his chest ached. He couldn’t imagine this pain ever
leaving him. Regret was etched in his life so deep it would never be rubbed
out, no matter how many hours he patrolled this city or how many kids he
coached. But he couldn’t sit back and watch Daisy McConnell make the same
terrible mistake, even if she hated him for it.