LeClerc 01 - Autumn Ecstasy (34 page)

When the curls disappeared, he groaned aloud, unaware of the sound drifting across the room. Linsey hid a smile, continuing to appear innocent of his growing passions.

Bear’s gaze traveled up her body, and he wondered when she had let down her hair. It hung over her shoulders, veiling her flesh. His eyes snapped back to her hands as she worked another button free, and he saw the inviting crevice of her navel. Bear’s hands went to the buttons on his pants. He stepped out of them before she could finish her last button.

“Woman!”

Linsey raised her eyes, and he watched as her expression turned from studied innocence to total seduction. She let her gaze drift slowly over his body, and it felt like a caress when it reached the level of his throbbing hardness. Slowly her eyes returned to his face, and she lightly licked her lips.

She tossed her head, and her hair flipped behind her shoulder, exposing one cotton-covered breast while seductively covering the other. With a slight shrug, the chemise seemed to drift from her shoulder, hanging for the length of a heart beat on the tip of her breast before sliding down. Linsey reached for the other side, effectively shielding her naked breast from his gaze with her arm.

Bear felt sweat bead his upper lip as he waited for her to free her other breast. An eternity passed before she slid the other strap down her arm. The lacy article of clothing clung to her hips, and Bear swallowed hard as he tried to pierce the hazy veil of red effectively hiding her breast.

Linsey turned toward the bed, put her hands under her hair and flipped it so that it cascaded down her back. It rippled in a fiery waterfall as she wiggled and let the chemise slide down her long legs.

“Woman, are you trying to drive me out of my mind?” Bear’s voice was a barely audible, husky whisper.

Linsey looked over her shoulder, her silken tresses successfully hiding her body from his view. She smiled softly, her eyes a beckoning emerald gaze, “Why would I do that?”

“Because you’re wicked!” He was unaware of moving toward her, his legs following a command of their own.

“Are you complaining?”

“Never!”

Bear reached for her, turning her into his arms and pulling her against his body. His mouth met hers in a kiss hot enough to set the world on fire as he slowly lowered her to the bed. He knelt between her welcoming thighs, his body ablaze with a passion too intense for the slow, gentle loving he’d always known with her.

“Woman, what am I going to do with you?”

“Love me.”

He did.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Held captive by the glowing aftermath of their nearly violent loving, Linsey lay with her head on Bear’s shoulder, listening as his pounding heart slowed to normal. His arms were wrapped protectively around her, and she knew she’d never feel as safe anywhere else on earth. This was where she longed to spend the rest of her bfe. And she would fight to stay there, using any available weapon.

“Don’t take me back.” She kissed the smooth skin beneath her cheek. “I don’t think I could live without you.”

“Mon ange.”
Bear’s voice was thick with regret. “I must. You have been protected all your bfe. There are , too many dangers waiting around every corner, and I can’t assure you a happy future here.”

Linsey sat up beside him, and he caught his breath at the beauty of her body as the firelight danced over it.

“Bear, no one knows the future. We can only take each day as it comes. With you, I would live my life to its fullest, and when problems arise we will handle them together.”

He shook his head, his eyes pleading with her to try to understand. “If you were to die because of something that could never have happened in the city, how do you think I’d feel?”

Placing her hand against his cheek, Linsey bent and kissed him. “It would be my choice to stay; you would go on, knowing I had been happy. We will create memories that will stay with us forever. Don’t make us spend the rest of our lives lonely for each other, perhaps growing bitter by the separation. I would rather have one year with you than fifty without you.”

Bear closed his eyes feeling the loneliness he knew would be his when she was gone. The future loomed bleak, every new day as desolate as the last.

“I will move to your city,” he finally said.

Linsey knew, without a doubt, that Bear would not survive living in a crowded city. He was a man of the wilderness, as free as the wind. He had to have the space of the forest, the challenges that went along with living on the frontier.

“No.” She slowly shook her head. “You couldn’t live in a place that has buildings instead of trees, people instead of animals. It would be easier for you to cut off your right hand than it would be for you to live in town.”

Bear knew she was right, but he wondered if he’d ever again be content anyplace without her at his side.

Lifting his hand from his chest, Linsey placed a gentle kiss in his palm. Slowly she lowered it to the slope of her abdomen.

“I carry your child.”

Silence as thick as storm clouds filled the room. It rolled and bounced around them as Bear closed his eyes while a pain sharper than any he’d ever known shredded his heart.

“I know,” he whispered.

“You know?” Linsey’s brow rose in amazement. “The Grandmother told me.”

“Are there no secrets from that woman?”

Bear let his hand drift over the rounded mound, treasuring the touch. He raised up and kissed her belly, then pulled her back into his arms. Side by side, legs entwined, they shared the knowledge of the life they had created.

“We will be married before we reach Philadelphia.”

“What?” Linsey tried to sit up, but be held her firmly.

“I will give you and the child my name; then no one will frown at his illegitimacy.”

“I will be a wife without a husband?”

“You’ll have a husband,” he replied.

“Sure, one I never see.” Again she struggled to be free, and Bear let her go. She sat up and pulled a blanket around her shoulders.

“I will come each spring to see you and my son.”

“Your son?” Linsey murmured a Gaelic curse. “The baby will be nearly a year old before you know if it is a son or daughter! Will you come each spring and leave me pregnant with another child that you can visit the next year?”

“No,” Bear pulled his arm over his eyes, trying to evade the picture she was painting. “I will not touch you again.”

“Oh, how nice!” Her voice thickened with sarcasm. “A husband I’ll see every spring, who will not be my lover. A father whose own child will not know him. I don’t need a husband like that!”

“My son needs my name.”

“Why? Since the war, illegitimacy carries no stigma. It is the duty of every woman to produce children to populate this new nation.” Linsey climbed off the bed and began pacing the room, the blanket flowing cape-like around her. “We will not be married. I’ll not wed a man who will not be my husband.”

“I will not argue this with you, woman.” Bear sat up and leaned against the wall. “My son will have my name.”

“We’ll consider our time together as a handfast,” she continued, ignoring him. “It is a time-honored tradition in Scotland. Sometimes it leads to marriage, sometimes not. I’m wealthy enough to support my child. He, or she, will want for nothing … except a father.”

“Linsey!” Bear clenched his hands into tight fists. “Who knows, I may find a man in Philadelphia that I want to marry. He will become the father to my child.”

Pain tore through him with the swiftness of a breath as he thought of another man as her husband. The promised agony of their separation was nothing when compared to the torturous knowledge of another man touching her, holding her … loving her.

“You are destroying me,” he said with a moan. “What do you think you’re doing to me?” she whispered. “I love you so much I feel like I’m dying from just the thought of being away from you.”

Tears filled her eyes, making her voice quaver with anguish. “Please, Luc, don’t send me away. I will die little by little without you.”

“I must.” His voice, too, was filled with agony. “For your own safety, I must take you back. I couldn’t protect Snow in the center of a crowded village. How could I ever hope to protect you, here where there is nothing or no one for miles? I don’t think I could survive losing you, Autumn Fire. Don’t ask that of me.”

Linsey walked to the table, sat down and placed her head in her hands. Nothing was resolved. The long night passed in silence, except for the occasional sob escaping her control.

From the bed, Bear listened, his heart breaking. He wanted to comfort her, to seek her comfort. The tortures of the damned were their companions through the long, dark night.

Linsey walked around the small cabin, touching this and that, letting the memories tumble through her mind. Tomorrow they would begin the journey back to Philadelphia. Months ago it had been all she wanted, to go home to the only life she had known. But now this had become home, this floorless cabin deep in the woods. She had fallen in love not only with Luc LeClerc but with his wilderness.

She could hear Bear outside the opened door finishing his preparations for the trip. Their departure was several days earlier than he had originally planned, but neither of them could stand the wall of silence that had grown up between them. They shared the same cabin, the same bed, but when night came, Linsey curled up in a tight ball, her back to Bear. They spoke only when necessary, which was seldom. Ail the words had been said, all the arguments aired. To wait longer just caused the agony to grow.

Linsey touched the kettle she had used to melt endless buckets of snow and felt the tears slide silently down her cheeks. She had never cried so much in her life! She fought to hide the tears from Bear, but she knew he was aware of them. He would catch sight of her flushed face, and the telltale muscle in his jaw would start to jump.

He still insisted that they marry before reaching Philadelphia. With a shrug, Linsey agreed. It seemed to mean so much to him, and she knew she’d never marry any other man. Nothing seemed to matter much to her now.

Startled from her thoughts by voices outside, she dried her tears and walked to the door. Wolf spoke quietly with Bear. The baby was in his arms; beside him stood Chattering Squirrel holding a rope tied to the goat.

Seeing her, Chattering Squirrel dropped the rope and ran across the clearing, throwing himself into her arms. Linsey hugged the toddler tightly, her green eyes again clouding with tears.

“Maman?” Squirrel pulled away, his face showing his bewilderment. “Maman here? Fower here?”

Linsey bit the inside of her lip, blinking fiercely. “No, sweetheart. Your maman and sister are not here,” she whispered, trying to swallow the lump forming in her throat.

His dark eyes expressed his disappointment with heart-breaking eloquence. “Maman gone, no take me. Why maman go, no take me? Me good boy!”

Linsey raised her eyes to the men and found in their dark gazes the same torture she was feeling. How to explain to a two-year-old that his mother and sister were dead was far beyond her ability. She pulled Squirrel into her arms and tried to comfort the child as he repeatedly asked for his mother.

“My sister,” Wolf said quietly, “I must ask a great thing of you. If you choose to say no, I will understand.”

Linsey stood and carried Chattering Squirrel with her as she crossed to him. She handed the toddler to Bear, then turned to Wolf, waiting for him to continue.

“Many years ago, the Shawnee nation split. Half of the people decided to leave this land that the white man wanted and journey west. The other half, including the people of my tribe, decided to stay and fight for the land of their birth. If we had gone, my tribe would still be strong, but because we stayed we have suffered as never before.

“I must lead my people over the great mother of all rivers, in hope of finding and joining with our own people. It will not be an easy journey. My people are weak, still sick. Whole families are gone; in some a child survived, in others an old person. In some several lived but suffer blindness or a cough that shows with Wood.

“We are no longer strong and proud. Many will not live to see a new land, but all insist that we go. The spirits surrounding our village are no longer friendly. As their chief, I must lead them in a search for a new home.

“I ask, woman of my brother, that you care for my son until I may return for him.” Wolf looked down at the child sleeping in his arms. When he lifted his eyes, Linsey almost flinched from the agony on his face. “There is no woman to see to his needs. I fear for his life should I try to take him with me.

“Summer Eyes, will you care for my son so that I may lead my people without having to be concerned for him. Will you keep him and protect him for me? It is not an easy thing I ask of you, my sister.”

Linsey looked quickly at Bear and saw his almost imperceptible nod. “Wolf, it is a great honor to be asked to watch Nathan Morning Hawk. I will love him as my own child until you can return for him.”

Wolf raised the baby to his shoulder and spoke softly to the sleeping infant. Closing his eyes for a brief moment, he gently rubbed his cheek against the soft one of his son’s, then handed the baby to her.