Legacy of Secrets 01-Cursed Secrets (23 page)

“I know,” I said with a nod, “and thank you. Can I ask you one more thing?”

“I suppose.”

“What part do I play in this? I’m virtually powerless,” he eyed me a moment.

“You will be the only one holding her together once this all begins. You aren’t as powerless as you think, son. You just have to be able to realize your own potential. Some gifts aren’t as obvious as others,” he smiled and placed a warm hand on my shoulder.

“You do realize that if she finds out I lied to her about all of this I’ll probably be dead anyway?” I said incredulously. The last thing I wanted to do was lie to her again.

“I’ll make sure she knows what your role was. In the end, I’ll be able to give her all the answers she will need,” he reassured with a smirk. I nodded, with little understanding, and left.

The ride home was quiet, both of us lost in our own thoughts. Wasn’t everything hard enough without this? I groaned internally. She would hate me by the time this begins, but I desperately hoped Emerson was right.

“So how are we going to pull this off?” Austin asked with a sigh.

Now that was the million dollar question.

Lia

Austin came in, looking frazzled, followed by Christian. They both sat on the sofa opposite me and began looking through the journal and papers. Neither of them acknowledged my presence. I was beginning to get annoyed, when Christian looked up and motioned to sit tight. Something happened while they were gone. I sighed loudly and threw the blanket off, revealing my naked legs. That got their attention.

“I’m sorry I didn’t realize you were awake,” Austin said, masking his anxiety.

“I’ve been sitting here staring at you two for the last five minutes. What’s wrong now? Did Josiah show up again?”

“No, this actually doesn’t have anything to do with him. Would you mind covering yourself please?” Christian responded clenching his jaw.

“I would mind, actually. Tell me,” I glared at him.

“I think your grandfather might be the Shaman we were looking for,” Austin looked at me with a mixture of emotions. I watched his expression and couldn’t help but burst into laughter.

“That’s crazy. There’s no way it’s him. He’s barely seventy,” I wiped my eyes and applied more drops.

“He
appears
seventy. I’m a good judge of energy, Lia. His energy is older than he seems. I don’t think he practices anymore, but even if he is one of the original Shamans the connection to the Spirit World must still be strong if he’s maintained a regular human life afterward.”

“What do you mean?”

“Usually when someone stops practicing, they sever ties with whatever magical forces gifted them. Once that happens, the lifespan is usually short. Less than that of a mortal life, in fact.”

“So you’re telling me that my grandfather is immortal too?” I croaked.

“Not anymore. He ages now, whereas before he probably looked as young as we do. In his current state, he’s probably found a way to slow the aging process and therefore has been able to lead a fairly normal human life,” he went back to examining his papers while I chewed my lip.

“He knew something was up. He didn’t talk much, but I could tell he was uneasy. I’m sure he doesn’t think you know what I am, but I’m pretty sure he knew. He will probably be checking up on you soon and we need to figure out whether it’s wise to open up about this to him,” Christian met my terrified gaze. I was completely speechless.

I swallowed thickly and wrapped the blanket around myself as I stepped outside. Finding out about so much I hadn’t even known existed was exhausting. I was drained, mentally and emotionally. Running away seemed like a good idea, but I remembered Josiah and decided against it. I wanted to run home and tell Nana and Pops everything, but something told me Nana didn’t have a clue about any of it. I had to admit the closeness to Pops was more than just our blood relation. I felt connected to him. The more I thought about it the more sense it made. I went back inside and met Christian and Austin with a new determination.

“He knows. He’s always known what I am. He told me a story about The Wives. I think this is a reference to the Shamans during the wars. He said when they found out their husbands were dead, they asked God to stop the pain and were gifted with abilities that could protect the weak from evil. The Wives eventually weren’t needed anymore and went into hiding. He said when they are needed, they seek out the ones to protect in order to uphold their pact with God. He knew all along.”

They stared at me, wide-eyed, soaking up the story. It felt good to contribute. Pops was telling me to embrace my gift and I hadn’t a clue what he meant at the time.

“Well then, I guess that settles one question. Do you think we should tell him?” Austin asked, clearing his throat.

“Honestly, I do. He knows more about this than anyone else. I don’t think he’ll leave the house, but he’ll be able to give me some type of instruction. What else do we know about Shamans?” I sat between them on the sofa and was immediately overwhelmed with different sensations. One side was super charged from Christian and the other was smoldering from Austin. I braced myself on the coffee table for a moment attempting to catch my breath.

Both of them moved several inches away, gasping for air. Apparently the energy was just as strong on the outside. Laughing nervously, I leaned forward looking over the different printouts of information. Surprisingly, it was easy to tune the guys out as I scanned feverishly for information. I had to pause several times for more eye drops and I ignored Christian’s protests. My stubborn was showing.

“This says that Shamans were mostly healers and I remember you telling me that before. Does that mean I’m a healer?” I turned to Austin who shrugged.

“From what I remember, Shamans were the best healers around during the old days. Unfortunately, I don’t know if that gift was exclusive to all of them. Did you find anything else?” he leaned forward slightly, stopping before our legs touched.

“I’m not sure. Can I take this with me when I talk to Pops? Something tells me he’ll be able to fill in the blanks.”

“I don’t see a problem with that. Christian?”

“If it will help it shouldn’t be a problem. Have you eaten anything?” he asked flippantly.

“No. I can feed myself, thanks for asking,” I turned my back on him.

“Fine. I’m leaving. You should sleep soon, your eyes are tired,” he disappeared in a huff.

I sighed and pushed the papers back onto the table. I was starving, but I didn’t want to tell him that. I hadn’t eaten anything since the day before and my stomach yelled at me. I smiled at Austin as I went to the kitchen.

“So, are you handling all of this alright? Is there anything I can do to make it easier?” he asked, helping to cart items from the fridge.

“I can’t really expect to have much time for all of this to sink in. The best thing to do is process only the information I need then move on to the next. I can bury us all in questions if I don’t. Obviously, we don’t have time for that,” I downed a bottle of water while he watched me curiously. My eyebrows rose in question.
             

“I think tomorrow we’ll work on centering. It should help with the residual energy. I do have a question though, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Shoot.”

“What type of energy do you feel from me?” he set out to making his own sandwich, hopefully not noticing my pause.

“Uh, well, it’s warm,” I blushed.

“Warm as in color or literal heat?” he looked at me with genuine curiosity and I smiled.

“Heat. I don’t really know how to describe it. I just know it’s like a blanketing heat,” I looked away as I finished making my own food.

“Hmm, that’s kind of nice. What does Christian’s energy feel like?” I dropped several items in the sink, eager to finish the conversation and retreated back to the sitting room. He followed; clearly not ready to drop it.

“It’s like static, but it lingers. Not quite as powerful as electricity, but it’s not always pleasant,” I pushed the memories aside trying, and failing, not to think about what almost was.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” he placed a hand on my shoulder. I shrugged and he removed his hand, mumbling more apologies.

“I’m not really uncomfortable. I’m just trying really hard not to make
you
uncomfortable. Blocking out my emotions is harder since you did that spell. Most girls get to fantasize and dream, but I’m stuck forcing that away for the sake of other people. It’s not easy,” I reassured him.

We continued eating in silence. We studied the journal and Shaman histories until my eyes hurt so badly they burned. I excused myself and took a long, hot shower. I yearned to run. So much confusion cluttered my thoughts and I felt claustrophobic.

After dressing for bed, I splashed more drops in my eyes and sat on my bed in a daze. Images of the last few weeks washed over me and I embraced them. It felt good not to hold back or push thoughts aside. I relished the memories of laughs and stolen moments with Christian and sped through the hateful parts. I couldn’t deny that I wanted him, but more than anything I just wanted my friend back. My phone chimed, startling me.

             
I will run with you tomorrow if you want. I know the last few days have been rough. –C

I stared at the message for a while, debating on whether I should respond. My resolve caved.

             
Thanks. Are you off hunting? –Lia

             
I was, but I finished hours ago –C

             
So why are you still gone? –Lia

I sighed and settled into the fluffy comforter. Clutching the phone, I fought with my droopy lids. Eventually sleep overcame me and I drifted into a dark world all alone.

Christian

Why was I still gone? Because it was too difficult to stay around her all day without wanting her. Because I knew that the longer I stayed, the closer I would come to breaking my promise and that scared me more than anything. Because I was desperately trying to figure out how we were going to keep all the information Emerson told us to ourselves. I had no idea what part I was supposed to play in the plan and I needed to get away.

I was never really far. Actually, I was able to sneak away to my room without notice. A huge plus of being a silent predator. Occasionally, I would venture out until it was late enough for her to be sleeping so I wouldn’t have to endure her sadness. I knew I was the cause. I had told her that I wouldn’t use her, but that’s what it seemed happened. She was right to hate me.

I arrived home to find her sleeping with her cell phone. She fell asleep waiting for my response. For some reason I was capable of deceiving her, but when she wanted the truth, my best response was silence. My father would have turned in his grave at my actions. I hung my head and sulked back to my room.

I checked every avenue I could think of for more information about Shamans but fell short. The internet wasn’t very helpful with factual information pertaining to creatures that may or may not have existed. I began drifting to better thoughts of Lia and me together on her bed. Her scent was overwhelming; her body warm against mine. Shudders rippled through me. Agony and longing lingered over the places she’d once touched and I couldn’t stop the barrage of memories from overtaking me. I lay on my bed, breathing heavy, allowing a small amount of time to fully appreciate her at the most vulnerable. She was so real.

Before realizing it, I was in her room again staring as she slept peacefully. I was glad she had peace that night, I didn’t enjoy her pain. She stirred, sensing me, and blinked several times before realizing I was real.

“Christian? What’s wrong?” she sat up, reaching for me.

“I’m not sure,” I furrowed my brow, trying to remember what brought me to her.

“Do you want to lie down? You haven’t slept have you?”

“I haven’t. I don’t want to keep you awake,” I sat on the edge of the bed trying to decide what to do.

“You won’t if you lie down. What’s the matter?” she asked more lucid.

“This is just harder than I expected. For some reason, I ended up here although I know I shouldn’t be. None of this makes sense,” I rubbed the back of my neck. She reached over and touched my hand, setting off a chain reaction of sparks. Her breath shuddered and she began pulling me toward her.

“You don’t have to do or say anything. Obviously a part of you wants to be here and that’s enough for me. You don’t have to stay, but its okay if you do. Nothing has to happen tonight,” she whispered in my ear and I inhaled in her hair.

“I shouldn’t,” I whispered back, leaning into her.

“But you want to…” it wasn’t a question.

“Yes,” I growled in her ear and her heart skipped a beat.

“Then stay, Christian,” she said pulling back to look into my eyes.

“I don’t know if I can without complicating things,” I watched her face fall, “Not because I don’t
want
those complications, but because I care more about hurting you than hurting myself.”

“I miss my friend. Not just the guy who takes my breath away. It hurts me more to know that I’ve lost both,” she let go of my hand and pushed herself back against the pillows. Of course she knew I hadn’t thought of that, but I didn’t know how to separate the two.