Legend of the Seventh Virgin (33 page)

“Of course I’ve been drinking. What else have I? Wouldn’t you drink … ?” She stared at us glassily, waving her arms. “Wouldn’t you … if your husband had his mistress here in the house … if he made every excuse to get away from you … to go to her …”

“We must get her to her room quickly,” said Justin. He was looking at me almost pleadingly so I went to Judith and took her arm.

I said very firmly: “Judith, you are not well. You have imagined something which does not exist. Come, let me take you to your room.”

She began to laugh wildly, demoniacally. She turned towards Mellyora and for a moment I thought she was going to fly at her; I quickly placed myself between them and said: “Mrs. Rolt, Lady St. Larnston is unwell. Please help me to take her to her room.”

Mrs. Rolt took one of Judith’s arms, I the other, and although Judith tried to free herself we were too strong for her. I caught one glimpse of Mellyora’s face; it was quite stricken; I saw the pain and shame in Justin’s. Never, I imagined, had there been such a scene in the history of the Abbas — the shocking element being of course that it was happening in the sight of all the servants. I saw Johnny; his smile was sly; he was delighted at his brother’s discomfiture and at the same time proud because I — the lady’s maid — was the one who had taken charge of the situation, the one on whom Justin was relying to end it as quickly as it could be ended.

Between us, Mrs. Rolt and I dragged the hysterical Judith to her room. I shut the door and said, “We’ll just get her to bed, Mrs. Rolt.”

We did so and covered her up. “Dr. Hilliard gave her some sedatives,” I went on. “I think she should have one now.”

I gave it to her and to my surprise she meekly took it. Then she began to cry weakly. “If I could have a child it would be different,” she murmured. “But how can I? He’s never with me. He doesn’t care for me. He only cares for her. He never comes to me. He shuts himself in his room. The door’s locked. Why is the door locked? Tell me that. Because he doesn’t want me to know where he is. I know, though. He’s with her.”

Mrs. Rolt clicked her tongue and I said: “I’m afraid, Mrs. Rolt, that she has been drinking.”

“Poor soul,” murmured Mrs. Rolt. “Can you wonder at it?”

I raised my eyebrows to imply that I wanted no confidences and Mrs. Rolt immediately recoiled.

I said coldly: “She will be quiet in a moment. I don’t think there is any need for you to stay now, Mrs. Rolt.”

“I’d like to help all I can, Ma’am.”

“You have been a great help,” I told her. “But there is nothing else to be done. I’m afraid Lady St. Larnston is sick … very sick.”

She had lowered her eyes: I knew that there would be sly knowledge in her eyes.

Mellyora was in distress.

“You must see, Kerensa, that I can’t stay here now. I’ll have to go.”

I was thoughtful, wondering what my life would be like without her.

“There must be something we can do.”

“I can’t endure it. They are whispering about me. All the servants. I know it. Doll and Daisy chatter together; they’re all silent as soon as I appear. And Haggety … He’s looking at me in a different way as though …”

I knew Haggety and I understood.

“I must find some way of keeping you here, Mellyora. I’ll dismiss Haggety. I’ll dismiss all the servants …”

“How could you? Besides, it wouldn’t help. They’re talking all the time about us. And it’s untrue, Kerensa. Say you believe it’s untrue.”

“That you and he are lovers? I can see he loves you, Mellyora; and I know you have always loved him.”

“But they are suggesting …”

She could not look at me and I said quickly: “I know you would never do anything of which you were ashamed … you or Justin.”

“Thank you, Kerensa. At least you believe that of us.”

But what help was it to be innocent when everyone believed you guilty?

She turned to me suddenly, “You are clever. Tell me what to do.”

“Be calm. Be dignified. You are innocent. Therefore behave as though you are innocent. Convince people …”

“After that dreadful scene. How?”

“Don’t panic. Let things drift. Perhaps I’ll think of something.”

But she was desperate. She did not believe that I or anyone could help her.

She said quietly: “It is all over. I must go from here.”

“What of Carlyon? He’ll be brokenhearted.”

“He’ll forget me. Children do.”

“Not Carlyon. He’s not like other children. He’s so sensitive. He’ll grieve for you. And what of me … ?”

“We shall write to each other. We shall meet now and then. Oh Kerensa, this isn’t the end of our friendship. That’ll never end until one of us dies.”

“No,” I said fervently. “It’ll never end. But you mustn’t despair. Something will happen. It always does. I’ll think of something. You know I never fail.”

But what could I think of? There was nothing I could do. Poor grief-stricken Mellyora! Poor Justin! I believed they were the sort who would accept their fate however unendurable. They were not of my kind.

Mellyora studied the papers. She wrote for several posts. A parson’s daughter with some experience as a lady’s companion and a nursery governess should not find a post difficult to come by.

Each year a small circus came to St. Larnston; the big top was set up in a meadow just outside the village and for three days we heard the sounds of music and voices floating through the country lanes. For a week or so before the arrival of the circus, and for some time after, there was no talk of anything else; and it was a tradition that all the servants of the Abbas should have a free half day to visit the circus.

Promptly on the appointed day the vans came trundling along the lanes. I was never more glad of the diversion which I hoped would turn the conversation away from Justin, Mellyora, and Judith.

But that very morning there was a letter for Mellyora. She called me to her room to read it to me. It was a reply from one of the posts for which she had written — a revealing letter, I called it, clearly betraying the kind of woman who had written it. She would be prepared to see Mellyora and if her qualifications and references were acceptable give her a trial. There were three children in the household and Mellyora’s duties, it seemed, would be to be their governess, their nurse and their slave. All this she would do for a minute salary; she would be expected to keep to the nurseries; her youth was against her but for a smaller salary than the gracious lady would have paid a more experienced governess she might be given a trial provided the interview was satisfactory.

“Tear that one into shreds,” I commanded.

“But Kerensa,” she said, “I’ve got to do something. It’s no worse than the others.”

“She sounds impossible. The most fearful snob. You’ll hate it.”

“They are all the same and I shall hate everything — so what difference does it make? I’ve got to do something. Kerensa, you know I’ve got to get away.”

I looked at her and realized how much I was going to miss her. She was so much a part of my life. I couldn’t let her go.

“You’re not going, Mellyora. I can’t let you go. In fact, I won’t.”

She smiled sadly. “You’ve become accustomed to giving orders, Kerensa. But I’ve come to the end. I’ve got to go. Since that awful night, I can’t stay here. When I met Haggety on the stairs this morning he barred my way. It was awful. The way he looked at me. His fat hands … I pushed him away and ran. But that’s not the end of it. It’s the same everywhere. Tom Pengaster at the back door for Doll. The way his eyes followed me. I saw Reuben in the lane. His jaw wagged as though he were laughing … secretly. Don’t you
see?
”

I knew then how desperate she was, that she had made up her mind and that I wasn’t going to find it easy to stop her going.

Mellyora would go out of my life as Joe had gone; and Mellyora was important to me.

“You can’t go,” I said, almost angrily. “You and I belong together.”

“Not any more, Kerensa. You’ve become the respectable married woman whereas I …”

I remember that moment even now. The silence in the room and the sudden roar of the caged lion as the circus cavalcade passed through St. Larnston.

It was a moment of uneasiness. Life was not moving as I wanted it. I could not bear to lose Mellyora; she was part of my life; every time we were together I was aware of the change in our positions and compared the past with the present. I could not help but feel satisfaction in Mellyora’s presence, yet at the same time I deplored her unhappiness. I was not all bad up to that time.

“Something will happen to stop this,” I said, clenching my fists.

Something would happen. I was sure of my power to control our fates.

Mellyora shook her head. Heartbroken, she was passively accepting hers.

Carlyon came in with Doll who had taken him to the end of the lane to see the cavalcade. His eyes were brilliant, his cheeks scarlet. I could never look at him without marveling at his beauty.

“Mamma,” he said, running to me and throwing his arms about my knees, “I have seen the lions.”

I picked him up and laid my cheek against his. I thought: What does anything matter while I have him?

But all was not well with him; he withdrew himself slightly to peer anxiously into my face.

“Mamma,” he said, “I saw a nellyphant. Two nellyphants.”

“That was lovely, my darling.”

He shook his head.

I understood when I took him to the nursery. He went straight to his toy and knelt down beside it; he put a cautious finger on the black boot buttons. He said: “You’ve got your eyes on, Nelly.”

He gave the toy a little push and it rolled across the floor until it reached the wall. Then he turned to me and the tears were streaming down his cheeks.

“Nelly’s not a real live nellyphant,” he sobbed.

Mellyora had written asking for an interview. I was certain that if she went she would get the post, for her prospective employer would pay her less than was usual and congratulate herself on having acquired a parson’s daughter.

The servants seemed absent-minded; I could hear them continually whispering and giggling together. Even Mrs. Salt and her daughter seemed excited. The circus brought strangers to the place and perhaps there was an added thrill for them in case the terrible Mr. Salt might be among them. Haggety would accompany Mrs. Rolt, Doll would go with Tom Pengaster and perhaps they would let Daisy go with them. Lunch was to be served half an hour earlier so that they could clear up and get away in good time.