Legend of the Seventh Virgin (39 page)

I should be pleased that I had given him an uncle whom he admired so much.

Essie came out to meet us — as always, a little shy in my company. She took us into Granny’s room. Granny was in bed; it was not one of her good days, she told me.

Her black hair was in two plaits and she looked older; she had always seemed out of place in the Pollents’ house, although I knew that Essie had done her utmost to make her welcome and at home. The room with the neat dimity curtains and the starched counterpane was not Granny’s style; and there was about her an air of resignation, as though, I thought with alarm, she had come here to await the end.

Carlyon climbed onto the bed to embrace her and for a few minutes she talked to him. He remained passively polite in her arms, watching her lips with some concentration, but I knew that he was longing to be with Joe. Essie had told Joe that we were here and when he came in at the door Carlyon was off the bed and rushing at my brother. Joe lifted him in his arms and held him above his head.

“So you be come along to give a hand, have ’ee?”

“Yes, Uncle Joe, I’ve come to give a hand.”

“Well I got to go along to Farmer Pengaster this morning. One of his horses. I be thinking that a bran mash’ll be all she’s needing. What do ’ee think, partner?”

Carlyon put his head on one side. “Yes, I
do
think all she be needing is a bran mash, partner.”

“Well, look ’ee here, how’d it be if you was to come along with me and have a look at her? I’d get your Aunt Essie to wrap up a pasty for us in case we was to feel a bit peckish.”

Carlyon had thrust his hands in his pockets; he was standing with his weight on one leg as Joe stood; he hunched his shoulders which I knew to be a sign of joy.

Joe was glancing at me, his eyes alight with pleasure. There was only one thing I could say.

“You’ll bring him back this afternoon then, Joe.”

Joe nodded. “Reckon our rounds’ll bring us that way. I’ve got to look in at the Abbas stables …”

Carlyon gave a sudden laugh. “Better be going partner,” he said. “It’s a heavy morning.”

When they had gone, Essie going with them to wrap up the pasties, Granny said to me: “’Tis good to see them together.” She laughed. “But you don’t think so, lovey. Your brother’s not good enough for you now.”

“No, Granny, that’s not true …”

“You don’t like to see the little one playing the vet, eh? And Joe so happy to have him and he’s so happy to be with Joe! I trust Joe’ll have a son one day, but till that day, lovey, don’t grudge him a little share in yours. Remember how you used to love your brother. Remember how you were going to have all the best for him as well as yourself. You were born to love, Kerensa my girl; you do it with all your heart and soul. And ’tis good to do what you do with all your power, for then you do it well. And the boy’s worthy of your devotion, but don’t ’ee try to force him, girl. Don’t ’ee do that.”

“I’d never force him to do anything.”

She laid her hand over my own. “You and I understand each other, Granddaughter. I know your mind because it works as mine does. You’re uneasy. You’ve come to talk to me about it.”

“I’ve come to see
you
, Granny. Are you happy here?”

“My bones is old. They creak, lovey. When I stoop to pick my herbs there’s a stiffness in my joint. I’m not young any more. I’m too old to live alone, they tell me. My life is done; now I be lucky to have a comfortable bed where I can rest my old bones while I’m waiting.”

“Don’t talk like that, Granny.”

“’Tain’t no use shutting your eyes to truth. Tell me, what brought ye here for a talk with your old Granny?”

“It’s Johnny.”

“Ah!” A film seemed to pass across her eyes. It was often so when I talked of my marriage which was a painful subject to her. She was delighted that my dream had come true, that I was mistress of the Abbas, but I sensed that she wished it could have come about through some other means.

“I’m afraid he’s wasting money … money that should be Carlyon’s.”

“Don’t ’ee look too far ahead, lovey. There be the other one.”

“Justin. He’s safe … for a while.”

“How can ’ee be sure? He might make up his mind to marry.”

“If he were thinking of marriage he would have said so by now. He rarely writes to Mellyora and when he does he never mentions marriage.”

“I’m sorry for parson’s daughter. She were good to you.”

Granny was watching me but I could not meet her eye. I had not told even her what I had done that day when I had found Judith at the bottom of the stairs.

“And you and Johnny?” she asked. “There’s a severance between you?”

“Sometimes I feel I don’t know much about Johnny.”

“There’s few of us — however close we be — who can see down deep into another’s heart.”

I wondered if she knew my secret, if those special powers of hers had revealed it. I said quickly: “What should I do, Granny? I’ve got to stop him wasting money. I’ve got to save Carlyon’s inheritance.”

“Can you make him do as you say, Kerensa?”

“I’m not sure.”

“Ah!” She gave a long drawn-out sigh. “I fret about you, Kerensa. I wake sometimes in this room of mine and it do all seem so strange at night, and I fret about you. I wonder about that marriage of yours. Tell me this, Kerensa, if you could go back … if you could be a maiden once more and the choice were yours, what would it be? Single and fighting your way in the world, a governess or companion — for you had the education to be that — and freedom; or the Abbas and the marriage that had to go with it?”

I turned to her in astonishment. Give up the Abbas, my position, my pride, my dignity … my son! And for the sake of being an upper servant in someone else’s house! There was no need to consider my answer to that. My marriage was not all that one hoped for in a marriage; Johnny was no ideal husband and I was not, and never had been, in love with him; but I did not have to consider for one moment.

“When I married Johnny I made the right choice,” I said, and I added: “for me.”

A slow smile touched Granny’s lips.

“Now I be content,” she said. “No more fretting over you, lovey. Why did I doubt? You knew what you wanted right from the time you was a little one. And this new trouble? Don’t you fret yourself. You’ll see all’s well. You’ll make Mr. Johnny St. Larnston dance to your tune.”

I felt better after that talk with Granny. I drove back to the Abbas alone, assuring myself that I would insist on Johnny’s sharing the burdens of the estate with me. I would discover how deeply in debt we were. As for the mild irritation of Carlyon’s interest in Joe and his work, all children had these enthusiasms; he would grow out of that when he went away to school and on to the University.

It wasn’t easy to tie Johnny down. When I tried to discuss business with him he became flippant; and yet at the same time I sensed a lack of ease in his manner and I knew that deep down he was concerned.

“What do you propose to do?” he demanded. “Wave your witch’s wand?”

I retorted that I should like to know exactly how matters stood, and that we might get advice.

“It’s not advice we need, sweet wife. It’s money.”

“Perhaps we could cut down expenses.”

“Brilliant idea. You begin.”

“We’ll both begin. Let us see if we can find means of economizing.”

He laid his hands on my shoulders. “The clever little woman!” Then he frowned. “Be more clever still, my love, and keep your nose out of my affairs.”

“But Johnny … I’m your wife.”

“A position you secured through bribery and corruption.”

“What?”

He laughed aloud. “You amuse me, Kerensa. I never saw anyone more able to play a part. All the lady of the manor now. Even my mother never had quite such an air of the
grande dame
. I’m not sure that you ought not to be at Court — we’re too simple for you here in St. Larnston.”

“Can’t we be serious?”

“That’s what I want to be. I’m asking you to keep out.”

“Johnny, if there’s a way I’m going to find it. There’s Carlyon’s future to think of.”

He shook me then. “I’m warning you, Kerensa. I don’t want your advice. I don’t want your help.”

“But this concerns us both.”

He threw me from him and stalked away.

I had an uneasy feeling that it was more than the lack of money which was worrying Johnny. He wouldn’t confide in me; at times he gave me the impression that he hated me; but I was determined to find out.

There were afternoons when he went into Plymouth and did not return until late at night. Another woman? A sudden suspicion came to me that it was she who was ruining him; for myself I did not care, but I cared for Carlyon.

Johnny was a careless man; there were occasions when he forgot to lock his desk.

I told myself that everything I did was for Carlyon and although I did not enjoy going through his private papers I was prepared to do so for the sake of my son.

The morning Johnny left his desk unlocked I learned what I wanted to know.

Johnny was gambling. That would explain his visits to Plymouth. He was deeply in debt, and the majority of his liabilities were gambling debts.

I was going to put a stop to this.

Johnny was not at home. I guessed that he was at the gambling club in Plymouth for he had ridden off that afternoon. I was enraged against him. I had blazed at him, telling him that I knew what he was doing, demanding to know if he had some crazy idea of winning a fortune. I could see that was exactly what he hoped for.

And there was nothing I could do to stop him.

Mellyora and I dined alone together. She knew I was worried because she had always been able to sense my moods; and she guessed that my anxieties were concerned with the estate.

“Things have been going wrong ever since …” she began.

I did not answer. I could never bear her to refer to Justin.

She was silent, her eyes lowered; I knew that she was thinking of all that might have been. Was she seeing, as I was, herself sitting at this table, Justin smiling at her, a happy Justin, content in his marriage? Was she thinking of the son — the future Sir Justin — who might at this time be asleep in the nurseries?

I felt angry with her. I said sharply: “Things have not been going well at the Abbas for some time.”

She played with her knife and fork. “Kerensa, there’s going to be a lot of poverty hereabouts.”

“You mean when the Fedder mine closes?”

She looked up then and her eyes were full of pity. She nodded.

“It can’t be long now,” she went on. “And then …”

“It seems to me that we’re all falling on hard times.” I couldn’t help it but I had to know what was in her mind, so I went on: “Mellyora, have you heard from Justin lately?”

“Not for two months,” she answered, and her voice sounded tranquil. “His letters have changed.”

“Changed?” I wondered whether she noticed the fear in my voice as soon as I had spoken.

“He seems … more at peace. Reconciled.”

“There is … someone else?”

“No. It is just that he is at peace … spiritually.”

I said harshly: “If he had really loved you, Mellyora, he would never have left you.”

She regarded me steadily. “Perhaps there are several kinds of love, Kerensa. Perhaps it is difficult for us to understand them all.”

I felt contemptuous of them both — Justin and Mellyora. I need not reproach myself. They were not capable of deep and passionate love. Love for them had to be right and conventional. That was no way to love. What I had done need not haunt me. After all, if they had really loved, they would not have allowed themselves to be parted. The only worth-while love was one which was ready to cast aside all worldly considerations for its sake.

We were suddenly aware of unusual sounds. The tramp of feet, the sound of voices.

“What’s happening?” I asked, and we were silent, listening, as the voices came closer. I heard the loud clanging of the doorbell, followed by silence and Haggety’s footsteps. Then the sound of voices and Haggety was coming to the dining room.

I looked up as he entered. “Yes, Haggety?”

He cleared his throat. “’Tis a deputation, Ma’am. They want to see Mr. St. Larnston.”