Leo Maddox (17 page)

Clara had left the door cracked and I motioned for Maggie to be quiet again. I desperately needed to hear whatever was being said out on that porch.

“Are you here for a reason?” Clara’s voice asked impatiently on the other side of the door. I couldn’t see her, but I could picture the bored, indifferent look on her face that went along with that voice. She used to use it on me all the time. “My family is kind of in the middle of something and—”

Something cut off her words. Because I heard nothing next. Inching forward, both Maggie and I peeked through the crack in the door. Fuckface was kissing Clara. Forcefully. I nearly flung myself out that door. But as immediately as he must have forced himself on her, Clara pushed at his chest and said, “Sorry, Andrew. You can't kiss me. I fucked Leo.”

I sucked in a sharp breath.

Maggie let out a small gasp.

Clara said those untrue words and I hardly knew what to think. But, nonetheless, they were effective words. Andrew let her go immediately, stepping backward off the porch. Standing in the grass, he bent over with his hands on his knees and his face wrinkled in pain.

“Once?” he coughed out.

“No. Repeatedly,” Clara said, lying once more.

She was cold as ice as she spoke too. Emotionless. Heartless. I still didn’t know what to make of it all.

Andrew moaned, clutching one hand to his chest. It took him several long seconds to compose himself. I swear to God, I think he was going to vomit. But when he finally did glance up at Clara, my heart almost broke for him. Almost. Not quite. And then I realized…everything that was happening now had been Clara’s plan all along.

She wanted to hurt Andrew—the same way he’d hurt her sister. He’d fallen in love with her and now she was tossing him aside like yesterday’s garbage. I wasn’t sure if I was impressed or deathly afraid. If Clara hurt me like that…I doubt I’d ever recover.

“I went away with him to New York for the weekend and it just happened,” she explained to him, her voice turning a little gentler now.

He nodded and slowly straightened back up. “Are you going to keep fucking him?” Andrew bit out.

“Yes,” she responded, a little breathless. “We're together now. Like
together
together.”

Andrew groaned. “Then you should know he does this sort of thing all the time.”

“What sort of thing?”

“Do you really think you're the first girl he's whisked away on his private jet and put up in one of his fancy park suites in Manhattan? You're a pretty toy, Clara, but for the kid who has everything money can buy, there will always be a prettier toy out there. And when Leo gets bored—like he always does—where will that leave you?”

My breath became trapped in my lungs. Clara and I were barely together and obviously we’d had no opportunities to discuss our past relationships. But if Andrew was going under then it was apparent he wanted to take me down with him. His words made my heart feel like it was being squeezed through a vice. I finally had Clara looking at me the way I’d always wanted her to look at me—and now I had to deal with this.

Because, unfortunately, Andrew’s words about my past were the absolute truth. Before that night on that balcony, I often used my money, good looks, and personal jet to trick women into sleeping with me. I’d spend each weekend lavishly showering a different girl with gifts, screwing her brains out, and then come Monday I’d get rid of her the way Clara was getting rid of Andrew.

I hated Andrew. But I was no better than him.

And then, like the cherry on top of a shit Sunday, Andrew gave Clara a hug. It was an honest-to-goodness genuine hug. I could do nothing but stand there and watch it happen. She didn't return his gesture, but she didn't push him away either.

“Leo's not good enough for you,” he told her. “He's not good enough for anyone. Don't let him into your heart because he will break it the first chance he gets.” He let his arms fall away from the girl I feared was no longer mine and then he started walking off toward his car.

“You're wrong,” she shouted before Andrew could leave. “Leo's good. Maybe some of the stuff he does isn't so good, but he's good. He would never hurt me.”

What?
I couldn’t believe she’d told him that after finding out about my repulsive past behavior. Andrew disappeared into his car and drove away, and the very moment he was gone I pushed open the front door and stepped outside to confront Clara. She shouldn’t have called me good. It somehow hit a cord deep inside me.

“You mean that?” I asked her.

She shrieked in surprise and whipped around to find me standing on the porch behind her. Jesus Christ. Instead of appearing angry with me, she stared up at me…as if she was searching for
my
acceptance. As if she were afraid I might be angry with her for what just transpired between her and Andrew. Dammit. Just when I thought I couldn’t possibly love her anymore, I fell for the girl all over again.

Nervous as hell, I rubbed a hand over the back of my neck.

“How much of that did you hear?” she demanded.

“Everything. Maggie and I heard everything.”

The front door opened wider, revealing Maggie.

“Why did you tell him we slept together when we haven't?” I asked.

Her face flushed a deep shade of red. “I don't know. I wanted to hurt him. Did Maggie tell you that he cheated on her? When he confessed he liked me a couple of weeks ago, that's when I came up with the idea to fake-date him. I thought I could use his feelings against him—make him fall hard and then crush him the first chance I got. Seemed like now or never,” she explained, shrugging her shoulders.

I gave her a small smile. “Well, I personally enjoyed seeing Andrew bent over, dry-heaving on your front lawn.”

Maggie giggled. “Classic.”

“You guys saw that?”

“We were watching from inside,” Maggie answered. “Next time just kick him in the balls. It will have the same effect and get the job done quicker.”

Despite everything, Clara laughed.

“You're ruthless, killer,” I told her, smiling widely now, “and very deserving of that nickname.”

“Well,” Maggie interrupting, probably sensing that Clara and I needed some time alone, “I’m still going for a drive, so I better go before it gets dark.” Then she hugged Clara. Of all things, she hugged Clara. “Thanks for getting even with Andrew for me. You're braver than I am,” she said to her sister and walked off toward the garage.

“Are you mad about what I told Andrew?” she asked, now that we were alone.

God, how could she even ask me that?
After the things Andrew told her…she was somehow seeking
my
approval. Crossing my arms tightly over my chest, I moved to lean against the porch railing.

“No. I don't care if you tell the whole world that we slept together,” I joked. But I couldn’t even play off my feelings with my normal cockiness, so I went for the truth instead. “I'm hoping one day it might be the truth. But you need to know...some of the stuff Andrew said about me is true. I
have
taken other girls for weekends away in my jet. Not because I liked them, but because I wanted to get them in bed. I haven't done that sort of thing for a while now, but that doesn't excuse it.” I sighed heavily. “Because I'm crazy about
you
. This isn't the time or the place I wanted to say this, but you need to know...I'm in love with you, Clara, I always have been.”

* * *

“What?” The word burst from Clara’s mouth. She turned away from me and sat down onto the concrete steps of her front porch.

“I love you,” I repeated. Now that I’d said those three little words, there was no longer any need to hide anything.

“Yeah, I heard that part already,” she groaned. “So, last summer when I called you ‘gay’ and you called me a ‘lesbian’—you were secretly in love with me the whole time?”

“Yes.”

“At my graduation party, when you called me ‘ridiculous’ and said I was a baby for getting into that fight with Dad, telling him I never wanted to play stupid golf again—you secretly loved me then too?”

“You
were
being ridiculous and childish. Everyone knows how much you love golf. But yes, then too.”

“And when—”

“Yes, Clara. Yes, every single moment, good or bad, I’ve loved you.”

“Why?” she demanded, glancing over her shoulder, her eyes tentatively finding mine. She had tears in her eyes. And it hurt that she’d even question why I’d loved her. Of course I loved her. “Why?” she repeated. “Why me? I don't understand.”

“I don't understand it either,” I said and then quickly shook my head before adding, “No, that's not true. I understand it perfectly.” Moving across the porch, I sat down beside her on the steps. Desperate to touch her somehow, I reached out and intertwined one of my hands with one of hers. Her whole body tensed and I believe her hands were trembling. But hell, my hands may have been shaking as well.

She stared down at our joined hands, unwilling or unable to meet her eyes, as I spoke.

“I love you because you say and do whatever the hell you feel,” I told her. “You aren't afraid to call me on my shit and tell me when I'm being an asshole. You look at life differently than anyone I've ever met—like it's a gift and you can't get enough. You don't make friends easily, but when you do, you're the most loyal person I know. You can be incredibly thoughtful yet unbelievably stubborn, and I love both of those sides of you. And when we're in the same room...I can't take my eyes off of you. I always want to be near you and hear what you have to say, even if it only leads to us fighting.”

A small sob left Clara’s lips. Her gaze left our hands and our eyes met.

My free hand cupped her beautiful pink cheek as I finished what I needed to say, “I care about you so much it hurts. I want this to work between us. I've never wanted anything more.”

Her eyes drifted closed and she leaned into my touch. It was in this moment that I knew I had Clara’s heart. I don’t know if it’s something I’d had all along or if I won her over that very moment, but I could feel my love returned in this one small gesture. It was as if I’d been searching for something that was lost my entire life and had suddenly found it.

I dipped my head closer to hers, brushing my lips against her shoulder.

“Um.” She swallowed and opened her eyes. “What did you mean when you said you haven't done ‘that sort of thing’ for a while? You haven't taken girls to different destinations or you haven't…uh, dated?” Her cheeks blushed bright red as she asked this.

“Both. I lost myself for a long time to drugs and drinking and girls, but you saved me. Without even knowing it, you helped pull me out of the dark. That night freshman year, when I fell off that balcony in The Village, a lot of shitty things had been running through my head. Then you appeared and it reminded me of how crazy I'd always been about you. It gave me hope when I needed it more than ever. And since that night, I've been working at being better. I'm not sure I'm ‘good’ like you told Andrew, but I'm trying. And no, I haven't dated since then. I’ve been all yours, even if you didn’t know it. Always yours. Do you remember sitting with me after I fell that night?”

She took a deep breath, closing her eyes for a small moment—as if she was remembering the very moment that meant everything to me. When she opened her eyes, she slowly nodded.

“A few minutes with you was all I needed and suddenly nothing seemed so bad anymore. So, even if nothing comes from this—if it all ends tonight—then at least you finally know how I feel. Either way, I'm always going to be here and I'm always going to love you. It's not something I can stop. Trust me, I've tried. But like I said when I kissed you in the Alligator Lounge, I sure as hell don't want to fight my feelings anymore.” I stood to my feet, my hands moving to my pockets.

I’d just pulled out all the stops—said everything I felt inside my chest. I needed her to say something in return.

“Leo, I—” she started.

Totally interrupting the moment, Reed came out the front door and joined us on the porch. “Oh, there you kids are.” His eyes shifted back and forth between us—like he knew he’d just killed our moment. I loved him, but hated him for his timing.

“Did you need something, Dad?” Clara asked impatiently.

“Yeah,” he answered. “I called Ed over at Ed's Heads Salon. He happened to be there late today and said you could come over. You need to leave now though. He won't wait around forever.”

No! I loved her purple hair.

“Fine, Dad,” she grunted.

What the hell? Was she not even going to fight him on this? She fought him on everything else.

“And Leo,” Reed said, motioning for me to follow him. “Come inside and tell me more about that private detective you know.”

Reed disappeared through the front door, fully expecting me to follow behind immediately.

Fuck that.

“I better go,” Clara said. “He's going to harass me until I change my hair.”

I frowned. “I like the purple.”

“Me too. But you know how it is, all about appearances around here…”

“Oh, believe me, I know.” I knew a little too well. “If you want…you can come over to my place after. I'll be around,” I said, feeling so uncharacteristically unsure of myself.