Leon Uris (46 page)

‘He is my brother. I love him.’

‘But so are Kamal and Omar.’

‘I have come to appreciate Jamil’s qualities. He is eager to fight.’

‘I will consider what you have said and perhaps leave it up to the three of you to stand the outer night guard.’

‘But that brings up the mathematical imbalance and that brings up the honesty that has overcome me. We need two good sets of guards down by the sea.’

‘Surely you do not expect Haj Ibrahim to leave this most urgent command post.’

‘Such a thought never occurred to me,’ I added very quickly.

‘Then there is no way to correct the imbalance.’

‘A vague possibility occurred to me,’ I said.

‘Are you trying to reason with me or to persuade me?’ Ibrahim said.

‘Merely trying to correct an imbalance. We can increase Kamal’s and Omar’s daytime tasks to those things which they can handle. As you already know, Father, we can send neither of them to Jericho, for they have already bungled their tasks there. The information they return with is rarely sound and they may have even given away our location. They must do things like gather firewood and set traps and go to the springs. They cannot be given tasks in which a decision must be made.’

‘If what you say finds merit in my heart, then we will have to do it with three night guards.’

‘It will be a burden that we do not have to bear ... mathematically,’ I said.

‘Ishmael, do not try to enlighten me with your education. We have six men. I must remain at the command post and, according to you, two others are worthless. That leaves three men. Does that not make six?’

I closed my eyes, drew in that breath of fear that I had so often drawn in, and said, ‘We have a healthy, capable woman who has almost nothing to do.’

‘I do not grasp your meaning,’ Ibrahim said.

‘Father,’ I said shakily. ‘I have taught Nada to shoot my rifle. I will put her up against anyone here ... except you, of course.’

‘And you also allow her to ride behind you on Absalom and you are secretly teaching her to read and write,’ Ibrahim said.

OH! By the Prophet’s holy name! I knew I would be thrown from the ledge fifty feet to the ground with a slap, a kick, a shove! I closed my eyes and waited for the collision. I had been so careful to keep it secret! So very careful!

‘I am sure Sabri would like to stand night guard with Nada,’ Ibrahim said.

‘Oh no!’ I cried, jumping to my feet, exuding family honor. ‘I meant only myself and Jamil!’

‘Sit down,’ my father said with an ominous softness. ‘What you are trying to do with Nada is not possible. It will only lead to a life of confusion for her.’

‘But our old life is gone, Father.’

‘Then we must spend years waiting for it to return and in the meanwhile we must not abandon what we know and who we are. What possible good will it be for Nada to read and write?’

‘When we leave here ... during the years it may take to get back to Tabah ... Allah only knows. She may need a job.’

‘Never.’

‘But to read and write may ... may bring her happiness.’

‘She will be happy with the man I marry her to.’

‘Father, things have changed!’

‘Some things never change, Ishmael. Allow the woman to walk in the path in front of you and you will catch her wind for the rest of your life.’

He was adamant and his orders for me to cease teaching and helping Nada were absolute. I had failed badly in my mission and I wanted to leave.

‘Sit down,’ he said again. Looking out to the desert, he treated me as abstractly as he would a stone. ‘We must watch Sabri. He comes from a town of unscrupulous thieves. A family can have only so many male children, but only one son. You are learning your first lesson about forming close friendships. To be the son that follows the father, you must learn what is real about everyone around you ... who will be your loyal slave ... who will play both sides ... and mainly who is dangerous. Few leaders outlive their assassins. If you have a hundred friends, throw out ninety-nine and beware of the other. If, indeed, he is your assassin, eat him for lunch before he eats you for dinner.’

I must have seemed like an idiot. My mouth was too dry to respond.

‘Well, my son, you have aspired to leadership from the time you could walk.’

‘I am stupid,’ I blurted.

‘A combination of many stupidities can end up being a worthy man if he learns from his stupidities. The balance of man and woman is like the balance of life in this desert ... very fragile. Don’t play with it. As for Sabri. ...’

‘I am humiliated,’ I whispered.

‘I knew of Sabri from the first minute,’ Ibrahim said. ‘Do you really believe that he was forced to sleep with an Iraqi officer, to live with him day and night?’

‘He was starving!’

‘A boy in Nablus with the skill of an auto mechanic starving? Or perhaps, after looking over a situation of hardships, the comforts the Iraqi Army had to offer were too great.’

‘Why did he come with us?’ I asked.

Ibrahim shrugged. ‘Maybe he was tiring of his Iraqi friend, maybe his Iraqi was tiring of him. Perhaps they had a lover’s quarrel. Perhaps Sabri had helped himself to too many things around the Iraqi warehouse and was about to be caught. Who knows? He deals in opportunities. Perhaps he thought the opportunity to come with us was the best chance to escape some trouble or another in Nablus.’

Was it all that baffling? How many times each day did Sabri make me momentarily uncomfortable by an overextended embrace, a passing touch, a long squeeze of the hand, a woeful expression. How many nights did I awaken to find Sabri ‘accidentally’ askew in his sleep, with his body all up against mine so I could get an instant feel of his hard prick, and him waiting cleverly for me to make the first advance?

What was going on between him and Nada!

I was ashamed of my stupidity. Of course Sabri was playing a game. He could manipulate anyone with his charm and lull them into believing he was their friend. At the same moment, he would violate a friend’s sister. I must get to know people better.

Haj Ibrahim continued to stare out at the desert. How wise he was. How naïve and foolish I had been.

‘We must watch him with extreme care. The best traitors are the ones like Sabri who can gain your trust. If he lays a hand on your sister, I shall condemn him to death. You, Ishmael, who aspire to lead, shall have your first practical lesson. You will do away with Sabri—in close—with a stroke of the dagger.’

S
OMETHING TAUNTED ME CONSTANTLY
above my ledge. Several hundred feet up was an opening to another cave. Of course, there were many caves around Qumran. Those that were easily accessible we explored from time to time. Others simply could not be reached, except by expert climbers with proper equipment.

This opening above was up a steep wall, but I had learned that there could be many routes to the same objective. One learns of little foot- and handholds, small leaps, the use of ropes.

For many hours and days, I watched the movements of the mountain goats through binoculars. It became the utmost challenge. Nothing of value had been found in any of the other caves, so I fantasized that this one was filled with treasure. It was becoming an obsession,

One morning I was sitting on my ledge with Nada, lolling the time away, when Sabri joined us. Despite my father’s sharp words, I felt quite comfortable with them together there. Besides, we would be doing nothing wrong, only talking.

Soon the three of us were looking up to the high cave and speculating about the possibility of reaching it.

‘I think I have figured out a way,’ I said.

‘It would be no problem,’ Sabri concurred.

‘Then let’s do it!’ Nada said excitedly.

Sabri shrugged. ‘I don’t feel like it today. It is too hot.’

Truthfully, I was glad he said it first because, well, it wasn’t that I was scared ... too much. ... However, it was a sheer wall.

‘Perhaps tomorrow,’ I said.

‘Yes, perhaps tomorrow,’ Sabri agreed.

‘Oh wait,’ I said, ‘I can’t do it tomorrow. I must stand guard. How about the day after tomorrow?’

‘I can’t the day after tomorrow,’ Sabri said, ‘I have to go to the springs.’

‘And I am busy the day after that,’ I said.

‘Next week.’

‘Yes, next week.’

Nada jumped to her feet and laughed at us. ‘You’re afraid!’ she cried. ‘Both of you are afraid.’

‘No such thing!’ we protested in unison.

‘Then let’s go!’ With that she scampered up into the rocks like a mountain goat. ‘Come on,’ she called back tauntingly.

Naturally, neither Sabri nor I could tolerate such insolence from a female. We got to our feet shakily and puffed out our chests.

‘I’ll get some climbing gear,’ I said. I really hoped that by the time I returned she would have abandoned the idea. I made my way back to our cave painfully slowly. I rolled up a long line of rope and placed it across my shoulders, filled a canteen, grabbed a flashlight, and made my way back even slower.

Oh shit! Nada had not only not abandoned the climb, she was a good two hundred feet above, laughing and teasing Sabri, who was inching up, clutching at the rocks awkwardly. I begged my legs to stop shaking, said a prayer to Allah, and started up. Oh, the utmost horror of it! I glued my eyes to my hands as they seized protruding rocks. When my foot slipped, I made the mistake of looking down at it and the cliff plunged down at least a million feet ... or even more. ...

I was dying to scream out that I had had enough because it was occurring to me that we also had to climb down. Of course, I had to wait for someone else to quit first and I had an awful feeling that it wasn’t going to be Nada. Every time I caught a glimpse of her black dress, I could see her scampering upward with an agility that showed no fear.

‘Come on! Come on!’ she kept shouting. ‘It is beautiful up here!’

Please Allah, there was a small flat spot where they had stopped to rest. I prayed that by the time I got to them they would have reconsidered the rest of the climb because I was about to pee in my pants. When I reached them, Nada was standing over Sabri, trying to comfort him. He had become frozen with fear, unable to move up, down, or sideways. He could not even speak.

‘Phew,’ I uttered. I was deliriously happy that Sabri had quit first. ‘Well, no use going any higher,’ I said. ‘Don’t worry now, Sabri. It is no shame. We will help you down with the ropes.’ I put my arm about his shoulder, reeking with sympathy and at the same time covering my own quaking. Sabri was fortunate to have such an understanding friend as me.

‘Bad luck. We’ll try again. Huh, Sabri?’

He emitted a little peep like a chick that had just broken out of its egg. When I looked up, Nada was gone again. Uh oh. I got to my feet very cautiously and flattened myself against the wall as far back from the edge as possible, but made the mistake of looking down again. Oh God!

‘Nada!’ I shouted, ‘you come back! This is a command!’

‘Ishmael! Up here! Come! There is a large crack we can follow. It is much easier!’

I looked up. I looked down. I was dead either way.

‘Sabri, let’s finish it. Nada has found a way.’

‘I c-c-c-can’t,’ he blurted.

No use trying to force him. He was paralyzed, locked from head to toe. ‘Then stay here and don’t move. We will be back soon. All right?’

He managed to nod his head.

Things got easier because it was impossible for me to be more frightened than I was. Then I became downright bold as the cave opening loomed closer. Well, Nada wasn’t afraid. She must have been crazy. I had never really depended on a girl before, but nothing ever felt so good as her hand pulling me up over the edge.

‘Isn’t this fun!’ she panted.

‘It was easy,’ I said.

We stood before the opening hand in hand. One always approaches the opening of a cave the same way ... with caution. I flicked on the flashlight and prodded her to go in ahead of me. She tiptoed gingerly, waiting for bats to fly out, but there were none. I came up behind her and probed with the light around a huge room.

Nada shrieked and flung herself into my arms.
There!
In a corner! A pile of human bones.

‘It’s all right,’ I croaked. ‘They’re dead.’

Then we saw something sadder still. There was a huge jar which had broken to reveal the skeleton of a little baby with a small pitcher and some grain near its head.

‘I wonder who it was,’ she said.

We poked around. There were more children’s bones at a stone altar of some kind which still had fire marks on it. We didn’t know what it all meant, but with each moment our courage became greater and we dared look deeper. We probed three halls and each of them had evidence of former life. There were dozens of small pots, most of them broken, a sandal, a braid of hair, grain, bits of cloth and baskets, a kind of kitchen stove of stone, utensils.

My flashlight dimmed, indicating that the batteries were wearing out. ‘There’s nothing worth anything,’ I said, disappointed. ‘We’d better get out.’

‘Wait! Back there,’ Nada said, pointing to an opening. It led to a room so low that she had to get on her hands and knees to enter it.

‘Come on, Nada. If this light goes out, we’ll be in trouble.’

I was mad because she didn’t listen to me, but I had no choice but to crawl behind her. ‘It’s too low,’ I complained. ‘No one could live here.’

‘But they could certainly hide something.’

We came to a dead end, all bunched up together, making it difficult to get turned around again. I played my light around, but all we could see was a pile of sticks.

‘Nothing here,’ I insisted.

‘Somebody must have brought these sticks in here,’ she said.

‘So what?’

‘Wait. Listen,’ she said.

‘I don’t hear anything.’

‘There, where you brushed up against the side, turning around.’

‘Just some stones sliding,’ I said. ‘I’m not turning around again.’

‘Ishmael! Point the light. What is that!’

All I could see was a small piece of basket that had slid out of a crevice with some stones. Nada picked up one of the sticks and dug at the spot. It was as though a trapdoor had suddenly opened. Things started to fall out! There were many! Six or more! It was so tight, we were almost on our bellies. We couldn’t really examine what they were. I grunted my way into position, took a stick, poked at the hole, and enlarged it so my hand could fit. I reached in and pulled out three more metal things. My flashlight dimmed again.