Less Than a Gentleman (28 page)

“No thank you.” Caroline tensed as a surge of anger swept through her. “Jane’s son has been here all this time? How could he stay here when his mother was being held prisoner?”

“He did go home,” Simon declared.

“When? I didn’t see him.” Caroline planted her fists on her hips. “And where was he when his mother was starving to death? Jacob and Thomas had to save her. How could he let other men rescue his mother?”

“The wages of sin,” Richard murmured, and helped himself to another swig of rum.

Simon glared at her. “Major Thomas is a hero.”

“I beg to differ.” Caroline lifted her chin. “Where is this Matthias? I’d like to give him a piece of my mind.”

“You’ll find Major Thomas outside,” Richard explained. “He wanted to be alone. He blames himself for my injury. And he blames himself for the death of those two men.”

“Why would he—” Caroline studied Richard, then Jacob. They knew something, she could tell by the way they avoided her eyes. A cold shiver crept into her bones.

She needed to see Thomas. Now. She threw open the tent flap and marched outside. She scanned the campsite, searching the dirty, scarred faces.

Her Thomas was here. He had to be. He loved her. And she trusted him. She’d given him her heart.

“There he is.” Simon followed her outside and pointed in the distance.

She spotted Thomas Haversham, far away in a grove of trees. His back was to her as he leaned against the trunk of a loblolly pine. The slump of his shoulders spoke of his despair. Poor Thomas. She moved toward him to give him comfort.

“Major Thomas!” Simon shouted. “There’s someone here to see you.”

Caroline halted.
No, don’t turn around. Don’t be a liar. Don’t break my heart.

He turned.

C
HAPTER
T
HIRTY-
T
WO

“C
aroline? What are you doing here?” Matthias strode toward her.

She stepped back, her face pale and stricken.

What was wrong? He noted Simon’s confused expression.
Major Thomas
, the boy had called to him.
Damn
. She knew who he was.

She backed away, her eyes glistening with tears.

“Caroline.” He moved toward her. “We need to talk.”

She shook her head. “I don’t talk to strangers.”

“We’re hardly strangers.”

“No?” She lowered her voice. “Tell me, Matthias Murray Thomas, do you normally bed a woman
before
introducing yourself?”

He sucked in a breath. “No. You’re the first.”

“Lucky me.” She pivoted and stalked away.

He followed her. “I don’t blame you for being angry.”

She snorted and kept walking.

“I apologize. I know I should have told you sooner.”

She swiveled to face him. “Why didn’t you? Why weren’t you honest with me?”

“I— At first, I wanted to know if your attraction to me was real, that it had nothing to do with wealth.”

She gave him an incredulous look. “You thought I was hunting for a rich husband? Like Agatha? How could you?”

“I didn’t know you then. How was I to know you could be trusted? You were lying about your identity, too.”

Her eyes narrowed. “I confessed the truth. Why didn’t you?”

“I didn’t want to lose you. You said you wouldn’t involve yourself with a soldier.”

“So that justifies lying to me?”

“I was always honest about my feelings.”

She huffed. “And I’m supposed to trust you on that?”

“Yes, dammit. I wouldn’t have proposed marriage if I didn’t love you.”

As a tear coursed down her cheek, a pang of guilt pierced his heart. He had lived with his lie for so long, he had ceased to understand how badly the falsehood would hurt Caroline. How could he convince her he was true when all she could see was a living, human lie?

Her whispered voice was laced with pain. “You let me call you by the wrong name when we made love.”

“Thomas is my
last
name—close enough. I wasn’t offended.”

Her eyes flashed with emerald fire. “How generous of you. I would certainly hate to offend.”

Dammit, everything he said was coming out wrong. “Can we put this behind us? Please?”

“What are you asking? That I forget our relationship was built on a lie?”

“Our love is not a lie! Caroline, does it really matter? We’re alive, and we love each other.”

“It matters to me! I trusted you. I trusted you to be honest. And you would have been honest if you trusted me.”

He tugged at the cravat around his neck. “I’m a wanted man. It was better for you not to know.”

“Why? Did you think I would turn you in?”

“Not on purpose, but you did warn me on more than one occasion that you have a loose tongue.”

She flinched and stepped back. “You have a low opinion of me, Matthias Murray Thomas. And my opinion of you is even lower. Good day.” She pivoted and marched away.

V
irginia sat up in bed. “Caroline, what happened? Dottie told me that you and Jacob left suddenly.”

Caroline wandered into Dottie’s bedroom off the kitchen. “I learned that Tarleton had set a trap for the partisans. I was afraid for Father, Quincy, and Josiah, but I saw them. They’re alive and well.”

“And your Thomas? How is he?”

Caroline blinked away the tears. She’d cried all the way back from Snow’s Island. Now she was determined not to waste another tear on him. “He’s . . . gone.”

Virginia gasped. “He was killed?”

“No.” Caroline slumped on the edge of the bed. It felt like he had died. Thomas Haversham was gone, and a stranger named Matthias had taken his place. How could she love a man she didn’t know? “I lost him.”

Virginia narrowed her eyes. “What do you mean?”

“He lied.”

“Who? Thomas?”

“He lied to me! He was never a butler.” The baby woke with a cry, and Caroline groaned. “I’m sorry. I’ll get him.” She trudged toward the cradle and lifted the newborn in her arms.

Virginia loosened the drawstring at her neck. “We always suspected Thomas was more than a butler.”

“Yes, but I thought he was at least honest about his name.” Caroline cooed to the crying baby, “Sweet little Jamie. You won’t grow up to break a little girl’s heart, will you? You won’t seduce her with lies ’til she’s too blind to see the obvious? You won’t be a
scurvy jackass
, will you?”

“Give him to me.” With an exasperated look, Virginia reached for the baby. She settled Jamie at her breast, and his cries ended abruptly. “Now, tell me everything.”

“What’s to tell?” Caroline collapsed on the bed and stared at the ceiling. “I was a fool to believe him. After all, he was a miserable excuse for a butler. He was obviously acquainted with members of the militia. And he knew all about the secret passageway.”

“
Secret passageway?
”

Caroline winced. Was Thomas right to worry about her loose tongue?
Blast him!
He still should have trusted her. She sat up. “I am so vexed with him! I wager he was laughing behind my back all this time.”

“He always seemed rather serious to me.”

Caroline’s eyes misted with tears and she shook her head. “I refuse to shed another tear for him. I’ll never see him again.”

“So it is over?” Virginia frowned. “Have you suddenly forgotten that you love him and agreed to marry him?”

“This is not
my
doing! He’s the one who lied. He’s not Thomas Haversham. He’s Matthias Murray Thomas.”

Virginia gasped. “He’s Jane’s son?”

“Yes! He’s a blasted major in the army.”

Virginia’s mouth twitched. “A successful soldier and owner of this plantation. How dreadful. No wonder you have rejected him.”

“ ’Tis not amusing.”

“Caroline, he’s a wanted man. I would expect him to protect his identity.”

“Not to me! Not when we—” Caroline lowered her head into her hands.

“You feel betrayed?” Virginia whispered.

“I—I gave him everything. I felt so . . . exposed. Why couldn’t he do the same?”

“I’m sorry, sweeting. You still love him, don’t you?”

Caroline wiped a tear from her cheek. “Yes. No. I don’t know.”

“Has he ever said he loves you?”

Caroline nodded. “Several times.”

Virginia smiled. “That’s good. I was married to Quincy for months before he could admit that much.”

Caroline gaped. “You’re in jest. The man was obviously in love with you.”

“Obvious to everyone but him. And me. You cannot expect a courtship or marriage to sail along without an occasional storm. If you love each other, you will persevere.”

“But I don’t even know him. I know nothing about Matthias.”

“Then take the time to get acquainted.” Virginia nudged her sister with her foot. “He’s still the man who loves you. The man who wants to marry you.”

“You think I was wrong to fuss at him?”

“Goodness, no. He deserved it.” Virginia switched the baby to her other breast. “He should come crawling on his knees, begging you to forgive him.”

Caroline sighed. “It feels so strange, thinking about him as Matthias now. I hope he’s as miserable as I.”

“H
ell’s bells, you look miserable.” Richard gazed at him with blurry eyes.

Next to his cousin’s cot, Matthias perched on the end of a log that served as a makeshift chair. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so drunk.”

“They keep filling my canteen with more rum. You want some?” Richard offered the canteen with an unsteady hand.

Matthias helped himself to a drink. “Do you know one of the men who died had a wife and two children?” He recalled the man he had met on the Pee Dee while looking for Major Munro’s daughters. The children had lost their home because of him, and now, they had lost their father. “I asked him to join the partisans. He’s dead because of me.”

“You didn’t shoot him.”

“I might as well have.”

“Bullshit.” Richard grabbed the canteen. “You’re just wallowing in self-pity. If I wasn’t injured, I’d knock your teeth in.”

Matt’s mouth fell open. “You’re more drunk than I thought.”

“You’re more stupid than I thought.”

Matthias took a deep breath and rose to his feet. “I’d better go. I refuse to clobber an injured man.”

“That’s noble of you.” Richard gave him a wobbly salute that missed his brow and bounced off his nose. “Where are you going? Your wedding?”

Matthias paused, a tent flap gripped in his hand. A pain shot through his chest. “She left me.”

“Oh, right. She found out you were lying to her.”

Matthias dropped the flap. “ ’Tis for the best.”

“So you’re giving up that easily?”

Easily? There was nothing easy about this. “What kind of life can I give her? I cannot go home with a price on my head. Everything I have done has only made matters worse. The homes on the Pee Dee were destroyed because of the escape I initiated. The British took over my house because I burned all the ferryboats. Hickman imprisoned my mother because of me. Two men have died because I led them into a trap. And you were injured. Hell, you wouldn’t even be here if it weren’t for me.”

“That’s not true.”

“You were raised a Quaker. You never would have joined the army if you hadn’t been following in my footsteps.”

“Damn you!” Richard struggled to sit up. “You think I haven’t a mind of my own?
I
decided to join the army. I defied my father and his beliefs. It was
my
decision, and you cannot steal it from me.”

Matt stared at his cousin a moment. “Very well. It was your decision. Now lie down before you do yourself harm.”

“Why? If I start bleeding again, will it be
your
fault? Do you take responsibility for the entire world?”

“I must take responsibility for the consequences of my actions.”

“You cannot have it all. I want my share back, dammit.” Grimacing, Richard reclined against the bare pillows. “As for our escape from the British, even if you hadn’t initiated that, the partisans would have still rescued us. It was the British who made the decision to destroy homes, not you. When you burned bridges and so forth, you were simply following orders and good ones, I might add. It was not your decision to imprison your mother. In fact, you rescued her. You’re not cursed, Matt. You’re full of shit.”

He snorted. “That’s pithy. I’ll have it put on my gravestone.” He turned back to the tent entrance. “Get some rest.”

“I’m not done. God willing, I’ll never be this drunk again, so you’d better listen.”

Matthias groaned

“You’re afraid to get married,” Richard declared.

“Not true. I was planning to marry today.”

“Then why did you give up?”

“I didn’t give up. Caroline rejected me.”

“You gave up. You didn’t go after her.”

Matthias clenched his fists. He had wanted to go after her, but then he had told himself she was better off without a wanted man for her husband. He’d convinced himself he was backing off for her sake. Because he loved her.

But dammit, how could he live without her? Why was he fighting for freedom if he wasn’t free to be with her? “I have to get her back.”

“That’s more like it.” Richard took another swig of rum. “But what will happen when the war ends and you go back to being a wealthy plantation owner. And slave owner. How will Caroline like that? How will
you
like it?”

“It doesn’t matter what I like. I made a vow to my grandfather that I would take care of the plantation.”

“I know what you saw, Matthias. You wrote about it in your diary. You drew a bloody picture of it.”

“You read my journal? Dammit, Richard. That was none of your business.”

“I wanted to know why you were having nightmares. You would never talk about it.”

“Shut up and rest before you start bleeding again.”

“You hated how your grandfather treated the slaves. You hated the way your father forced the women into his bed. You hated how much it hurt your mother.”

“Bloody hell, enough!” Matthias strode toward the cot and glared at his cousin. “All right, you want the truth? Before I met Caroline, I had planned never to marry. I was going to be the last owner. No more heirs. No more vows.”

“For God’s sake, Matt. Why are you making yourself miserable over a vow to our grandfather when you have no respect for him?”

Matthias paced across the small tent. “I wanted to keep my word. And I need to keep the plantation for my mother. She’s been accustomed to wealth all her life. I cannot ask her to live in poverty.”

Richard leaned back against the pillows, frowning. “I think she would prefer to see you happily married with children than live like a queen all alone.”

Matthias rubbed his brow. For years, he had avoided Loblolly and its responsibilities. He had tried to pretend Jacob didn’t exist. He’d tried to ignore the fact that someday he would inherit slaves. And all those years, he had been running from the truth. No wonder he was so adept at lying. He even lied to himself. “I’ll deal with it.”

“Good.” Richard handed him the canteen. “Talk to Jacob. He has some good ideas, and he wants to help. Loblolly is his home, too.”

“All right.” Matthias swallowed some rum and handed the canteen back.

“You’ll apologize to Caroline?”

“I’ll get her back if I have to belly crawl through the swamp to do it.”

“Good.” Richard gave him an ironic smile. “You’ll be a married man. Might as well get used to begging.”