Lessons from the Heart (24 page)

‘No, of course not,' she says, as if I've said something obscene. ‘It's his leg or hip. It's broken or dislocated, or something.'

‘Poor Billy.'

‘I've brought everyone back. But I want all the teachers and monitors together. We'll have to decide what to do.'

‘But who's with Billy? Now?'

‘Mr Jasmyne and Miss Temple have just gone out there. But all the rest – I want all the rest, we've got to decide what to do.'

‘But they'll get him down all right?'

‘Just go,' she says, ignoring me and yelling over her shoulder. ‘Go and find that … that good-for-nothing. And tell them I want them immediately.'

‘But where will I look?' I gaze around. ‘They could be anywhere.'

‘You'll find them,' are her last words as she disappears into the first line of the girls' tents. ‘Up,' I hear her shouting. ‘Everyone up. I want everyone dressed and on assembly near the buses in ten minutes.'

I drag on some shorts, a tracksuit top, and am immediately boiling. I pull it off, and scrabble around in the gloom of the tent for a T-shirt. I spot Toni's flung at the end of her sleeping mat and pull that on, smelling her perfume. I remember her pink top. Christ.

I look first in the showers, the toilets, the laundry. Which is stupid, they won't be there together. I'm still not thinking, still half-asleep. I run back out onto the lawns. Some of the girls are emerging from their tents now. I hear the mixture of inquiry and complaint in their voices. ‘What's wrong? What's going on? Why do we have to?'

There's no sign of Toni or Mr Prescott. The campground is huge. They could be anywhere. You'll
find them
, Mrs Harvey had said, nastily, as if I already knew, as if I was part of it. And then, amazingly, without thinking, I do know. I go back to our tent, pull on my joggers and run through the lines of tents. ‘Laura, what is it?' Luisa and Sarah call after me. ‘Just get dressed,' I say. ‘Mrs Harvey will tell you. It's all right,' I shout, seeing the fear and confusion on their faces. ‘Just get dressed.'

I run on through the perimeter hedges of wattle and tea-tree. My breath – I'm still only half-awake – is coming in painful gulps now, and my throat is dry and sore, but I run anyway. Across the gravel bed of the carpark and up the red slope behind the camp. The earth is thick but soft here, a red loamy sand, and my feet sink into it, and have to be dragged free after each step. The climb's not steep but it's long and unrelenting, and the sand gives no footing. There are other prints, I see now, though I didn't need to. Toni, Jesus. She was supposed to be there with the climbers. She was on duty. So was Mr Prescott. But why did Mrs Harvey go without them in the first place? No one came to the tent to look for her. Before. As far as I know.

I am almost at the top, panting, and squinting into the sun now which is hot, though it's just risen, and the sweat's already running from every pore in my body. Under my arms. In my eyes. And then, as I come level with the top of the dune, I think I see something, something white against the bright red of the sand – a cloth, or a flag, a white flag, rising, and falling. Another step, and I think I see the fold in it as it rises.
Rises
–? With the air this still? And then in the same moment a cry comes from somewhere, it could be someone's name, out on the dune, and it's not a
fold,
I realize, but a cleft. And not a flag. And then the sweat and the glare relent for a second, and I see properly, and I turn in the same moment and run back down the slope.

‘Toni?' I call loudly, turning again, halfway down. ‘Mr Prescott?' And climb the dune for the second time. Walking this time. The breath in my ears is even harsher now. ‘Toni?' And when I get there and see them, they're standing, and both Toni's hands are at one side of her skirt, smoothing, or adjusting. Mr Prescott's standing behind her, his lips are moving. I see Toni's hands fall to her sides, and I start running again.

‘Toni!' I call. ‘Mr Prescott!'

‘What is it?'

‘It's Mrs Harvey. She –'

‘Get your breath, Laura,' Mr Prescott says, and he's the one who's come forward now. Who's taking charge. ‘How did you know where we were?'

‘I didn't, I just came here. Mrs Harvey told me to look everywhere.'

Toni's said nothing yet, she's just searching my face. I can't tell what she's thinking.

‘Jesus,' Mr Prescott says, looking round. ‘What time is it?'

‘You missed the Climb. And Billy Whitecross was running on the Rock. He wanted to be first, and he's fallen …'

‘Jesus,' Mr Prescott says again. ‘I'd forgotten all about it.'

And then it's Toni who actually says: ‘Is he –?'

‘No, he's broken his leg, or his hip, or something.'

‘Jesus,' seems all Mr Prescott is able to say. He looks as if
he's
the one who's just had the fall.

‘Mrs Harvey sent me to get you. She wants you both straightaway. She wants all the teachers and the monitors,' I say, and the three of us are moving already. And at one point, where the path narrows between the circles of spinifex and only one person can go at a time, they both stand back and let me go first, and it's like I've rounded them up and they're criminals and I'm bringing them to jail or something, and I don't like this and as soon as the path widens, I slow down and they have to go past me again, and that, I realize, is almost worse, because it feels like I'm driving them before me.

‘I clean forgot about it,' Mr Prescott's found his tongue. He's leading the way now, and Toni's between us but hasn't looked back at me once. Her head is down, and I want to say something to her, to tell her it's not so bad, but I can't think of anything. Because it
is
, and she must know it. And so must Mr Prescott. Whose hand keeps going to his head as if he has to keep checking that it's still there. ‘But why?' he says to himself. And then he turns and looks back over Toni's head at me.

‘Why didn't they take someone else, if they couldn't find us?' he asks. ‘Did they even look properly?' Something's changing in his voice, and he's almost angry. ‘I mean, why didn't they get Gerald, or Tremblings if they thought they needed more people?'

‘I don't know, Mr Prescott. I've just woken up.'

‘And one of the other monitors in place of Toni,' he says. ‘And anyway, I thought
you
were climbing this morning?' And it's almost as if he's saying it's my fault or anyone's fault, and not his. And it's unfair, but I don't get angry back because I know it's just him being worried. ‘Weren't you climbing because you missed out before?'

‘I didn't decide,' I tell him as we reach the bottom of the dune, and already, I can see, some of the girls have stopped whatever they're doing around the tents and are looking across the lawns at us. Their eyes wide-awake now, working it out. ‘I decided I'd go if I woke up – by myself, I mean – and if I didn't, then that meant, deep down, I didn't really want to go.'

Mr Prescott looks at me, as if he doesn't know what I'm even talking about. ‘Where is she?' he says.

‘Who?'

‘Mrs Harvey. Where are we supposed to meet her?'

‘She said everyone was to assemble at the buses, Mr Prescott.' And I
am
about to say it's not my fault, stop shouting at me, when I see him look at Toni for the first time since I came up to them, and the look on his face is so hurt and confused and tender, all at the same moment, that I don't. I just fall back even further and let them go in front, and I'm glad I do because they're looking straight ahead as they walk, but I hear the whisper of Mr Prescott's voice, then Toni's, then his again. And he goes off in one direction, and hardly turns to say: ‘Thank you, Laura,' as if I've brought him a cup of coffee or picked up his javelin or shot-put for him or something.

By the time she gets to our tent, I've nearly caught up with Toni. And there
is
something, I realize, I'll have to say to her after all.

‘You'll have to change,' I tell her.

‘What?'

‘Before you go to Mrs Harvey. You'll have to change.'

She looks where I'm looking.

The back of her skirt has a red stain where the earth has mixed with something liquid. She twists her skirt, puts her hand on the stain, tries to brush it, but it's sticky and she stops immediately and looks at me.

‘Thank you, Lolly,' she says. As if I've just saved her life or something. When it's nothing. But just
Lolly
says everything to me …

When we finally get to the buses, Mrs Harvey has all the children around her and is explaining what's happened. She seems calm now and totally in charge. There's no sign of Mr Prescott anywhere. As we approach, I see Toni looking around for him.

‘Well, Antonia,' Mrs Harvey breaks off, ‘there you are at last.' And the kids, I see, are silent, but their faces are all going
Oooh,
and I feel unhappy and guilty again because it's almost as if I've dragged Toni there, handcuffed, like a criminal or a prisoner. ‘I'll deal with you later,' Mrs Harvey says to Toni, and just for one second then I think Toni's going to do something stupid, and put out her tongue and rebel completely. And I say, ‘Toni,' softly, to prevent it.

But when Toni turns to look at me, I'm not sure this is true after all because her face isn't upset or angry or panicked or anything. It's almost like she's the calmest one there, and is hardly even thinking about what is going on now, or Mrs Harvey or me or the kids watching or anything, but is miles away thinking about something else altogether. And Mrs Harvey, I think, sees this too and she can't help herself – she's red and angry all over again.

‘Some people,' she says to the children, but her eyes, I see, keep flicking back to Toni's face, ‘are so irresponsible, so selfish and … and …
irresponsible
' – is all she can think of – ‘that they're quite happy to see other people hurt and injured.'

‘Is Billy really hurt?' one of the boys asks, and she has to pay attention to them again.

‘We think it's a broken leg, or there's something wrong with his hip. But …' she says, and I know this is for Toni's benefit, ‘it could have been so much worse, he could have fallen off the Rock itself. You've seen those plaques.'

‘Yes, Mrs Harvey. There are four.'

‘Five,' Luisa corrects them. Loudly.

Toni turns then and walks away from the group, in the direction of the buses.

‘I want to see you, Antonia Darling,' Mrs Harvey shouts after her, ‘as soon as I've finished here.'

Toni doesn't turn or reply, just keeps walking steadily away from us until she vanishes behind one of the buses. Mrs Harvey continues to stare after her, her gaze so intense it's almost as if she can see through aluminium and steel.

‘Where's Billy now?' a friend of his asks.

‘The rangers were there – they were going to bring him down,' Mrs Harvey tells him. ‘And by now there'll be a doctor from the Resort, an ambulance …'

‘It's the Flying Doctor,' someone says.

‘Yes, they keep an ambulance here all the time. We'll see their Headquarters when we get to Alice Springs. But just for now though …' she says, and tries to stop all their questions, even though she's the one who provoked them in the first place.

‘Will Billy get to fly to hospital?'

‘I don't think so.'

‘Will he go in a helicopter?'

‘For the moment,' she says again, and waits until she has all of their attention, ‘I want you all just to be good and helpful, will you do that for me?'

‘Yes, Mrs Harvey.'

‘Get something for your breakfast, and then start packing your things and taking down your tents. Will you do that?'

‘Yes, Mrs Harvey.'

‘Off you go then,' she says, and the kids break up and begin to move away. But Mrs Harvey's not looking at them. She's looking at the buses, where Mr Prescott has suddenly appeared.

‘Well?' she demands, when he comes up. But Mr Prescott has his normal tan and colour back again where before he was looking as if a vampire had drained all the blood out of him.

‘I'm going out to the Rock,' he says, not asking, even though Mrs Harvey is supposed to be in charge. Especially when something goes wrong. ‘I need to see how Billy is. Dave said he'd take me in the bus.'

Miss Harvey looks at him for a moment. ‘Very well. That might be a good idea. It'll be an hour or so before we've packed here anyway. However …' she waits till she's got his complete attention, ‘that girl is not to go.'

‘But she's involved too. She was supposed to be there.'

‘Dwayne,' Mrs Harvey says, and she doesn't sound angry any more. If anything, she sounds more as if she's pleading with him. ‘For Godsake, start thinking, will you? What is this all going to look like? When it's written down?'

Mr Prescott drops his head then. Like a schoolboy himself.

‘It'd be much better if Antonia were here, under my eye, don't you think? For everyone's sake?'

Mr Prescott just nods.

‘If you want to take someone,' she says, and there's a note in her voice that assumes I'm as dumb as the little kids she's normally talking to, ‘it might look better if you took Laura, here. Or one of the boys? Because all this will have to be thought about, won't it?'

And it's almost like she's talking in code, but I understand, of course. And maybe she knows that, and is actually talking to me all along, and testing me. And I can also tell she likes Mr Prescott but just thinks he's a young fool, and it's all Toni's fault.

‘Okay,' he concedes. ‘Laura can fill Toni in on everything later.'