Lessons of the Heart (28 page)

“Maybe we should pick something else. I don’t want you to ruin the book.”

He shifts next to me, bringing us nose to nose. “Nonsense. Books are made to be enjoyed and that’s what we’re going to do. I’m going to read you this book and you are going to enjoy it.”

James gets comfortable again and I lean my head against his shoulder. Part of me wants to turn and see the actual words themselves but the larger part of me wants to stare at his profile.

Unsurprisingly that’s the part who wins out in my internal war.

I watch his mouth as he reads, focusing on his lips and the way they curve around each word, making each one my new favorite word just because he’s saying them. The quiet timbre of his voice is soothing, giving inflection when necessary and never monotone. He reads with the passion of someone who truly appreciates the literary works of the great ones. There aren’t many people in this world who enjoy reading with the technology boom of the last decade. When given the choice between reading the book or watching the movie, most will opt for the movie because, in their opinion, reading is boring. Truly this is one of the downfalls of our society.

And to find someone who shares this same passion, who appreciates it and cherishes it enough to want to share it with me, makes this night the best first date in the history of the world.

James is a quarter of the way through, meaning that we’ve just been lying here for a couple hours, doing nothing but enjoying each other’s company.

He pauses and turns to me. The light from the fire behind me dances in his eyes, making them spark from the glowing embers.

“You still with me?” he asks, placing the open book on his chest to save his place.

“Mmm,” I respond and nod my head slowly. My body feels peaceful as my eyelids droop slightly.

Closing the book, he places it on the coffee table next to us while turning his body and pulling me close.

“You look tired, sweetheart. We should go to bed.” He gently brushes away some hair from my forehead. I don’t think I have the energy to move quite yet. Just listening to his voice has relaxed me so much that I just want to stay here, wrapped up in him and never leave. Forget the outside world and all their judgments that are trying to keep us apart. I just want to be here, in his arms, where I belong.

“I don’t want to move. I love being cuddled up next to you.”

“Oh really? And why is that?” he asks.

“Because we fit together so perfectly.” I scoot closer to him and nuzzle into his neck. “Plus, you smell really good right here.” I run my nose over the spot, taking a deep inhale of his scent mixed with the cologne he put on tonight. It’s enough to awaken my slumbering libido as it stirs to life.

“What else?” he asks hoarsely. His feet run along mine and then slowly up my calves, pulling my legs between his.

“I love the taste of your skin,” I say, taking a slow swipe along the pulsing vein on his neck.

My fingers clutch his shirt; unbuttoning it the rest of the way and pulling it from the confines of his slacks until it’s completely open. His breath hitches as I trace each defined muscle I can find before wrapping my arms around his neck.

“Bed,” he groans and slowly moves us into an upright position. I straddle his lap with my dress hiked up my thighs.

James’s hands follow the path of the newly exposed skin on my legs, climbing higher and higher until he reaches my waist. He stands up in one fluid motion and I instinctively wrap my body around him as we make our way to the bedroom.

“What about the fireplace and candles?” I ask.

He stops and sets me down in the hallway. “Don’t move. I’ll be right back.”

James disappears around the corner. Something rustles, followed by a loud clank and the sound of crumbling wood as it turns into ash. The light dims significantly in the living room, letting me know the fire isn’t completely out, but it’s not the roar that it once was a few hours ago. And since we never put any more logs on, it shouldn’t take long for it to dissipate.

“It’ll burn out quickly now that I’ve spread it around,” he says, lifting me from the ground and putting me back into the position we started in. “Now where were we?” he asks.

I grab his face and kiss him with the passion that’s slowly building to a boil inside me. White hot heat is pouring out of my every pore, need and lust combining with our underlying love has my body on fire.

He walks us to the bed and gently lays me down. I crawl into the center as he leans over me, following my movements until he’s centered directly above my outstretched body. I run my hands up his naked chest and flick my tongue against his.

“You’re wearing too many clothes,” I say.

James quickly sheds his shirt, slacks, and socks until he’s completely and utterly naked. And nothing has ever looked more glorious in all of humanity than this man completely bared to me. I move to untie the string at my hip which holds my dress together, but his hands cover mine and he shakes his head teasingly.

“Let me. I want to unwrap you as if you’re my own special present.”

The heat emanating from my skin travels south, igniting every nerve and leaving me aching and panting for him to press his body against mine. James takes his time though, slowly letting the tie unravel and fall apart. The fabric is then slowly lifted up piece by piece as a round of goose bumps appears on the newly exposed flesh.

He sucks in a sharp breath of air when he finds my surprise. “Sweet mercy you’re not wearing any underwear.”

I give him my best slow seductive smile as the material falls completely away from my body, arching my back off the bed as he tosses it carelessly to the floor.

“Surprise,” I say, pulling him back down to me. Our lips crash together, feverishly devouring each other. We roll over one another, moving from one side of the bed to the other. The sheets and comforter get tossed to the floor with our discarded clothes, leaving nothing to get in the way.

“I need you, James. Now,” I pant out and blindly reach over to the drawer holding his stash of condoms.

He pulls away from me long enough so I can twist my body to the side to open the drawer with ease. But then all logic and thought are removed from my brain as his tongue makes contact with the sensitive flesh between my legs.

“Oh fuck,” I cry out, abandoning my quest. Instead, my hands fly to grip his hair, pulling him closer to me as he sucks on my clit with expert precision.

“God, baby, you taste so sweet. I couldn’t wait any longer. I needed a taste of my dessert.”

Another slow swipe of his tongue and I can feel the muscles slowly begin to tense in preparation of what’s to come. It starts off slow, quiet, then gains intensity as it pulls in energy from all muscles not currently being used in the center of my body. Like creating a tower out of blocks, each one having an exact place as it climbs higher and higher into the sky.

“More. It’s so good.”

James inserts a finger into my tight opening and begins to rhythmically stroke my front wall, causing my toes to curl and my fingers to grip the sheets beneath me. The carefully constructed building blocks shake and then tumble to the ground, creating a wake of dust and debris as I cry out his name over and over again into the room.

I can barely hear the opening of the drawer through the ringing in my ears. My eyes slowly come into focus as I watch him slip on the condom and brace his body so it’s hovering above me.

“You look so beautiful when you come. I need to see it again,” he says while guiding himself into my now wet entrance. He slides in with ease, stretching me inch by glorious inch. Our eyes lock when he’s fully inside me.

“I love feeling the moment where we become one. There is no greater sensation than this. None.”

My hands cup his cheeks again and I pull his mouth to mine with a need to taste him. He stokes the fire deep within me until what’s left of the life I knew before is ashes.

“You feel too good to be true,” I whisper, barely able to keep my emotions in check.

James slowly starts rocking into me with a leisurely tempo, not rushed or looking for an end. It’s as if he’s savoring the moment, appreciating it for everything it is, everything it could be and will be. He’s making love to me as if I am the only thing that matters to him in the entire world.

Our kisses become less frantic and more in tune with our movements. Slow and sweet, unhurried and reverent. Time stops and stills while we bring our bodies together to match the feeling in our hearts.

“I love you,” he whispers against my lips. I wrap my legs around his waist tighter, urging him forward, deeper, needing to chase the release that’s looming on the edge of my sanity.

“Faster,” I beg while digging my heels into his ass.

He increases his tempo. “I’m not going to last much longer if you keep that up. Are you almost there?” he asks. A thin sheen of sweat appears on his brow and he traps my hands next to my head with his.

“Yes. So close.”

James expertly rolls his hips and hits my clit in just the right spot. I explode instantly, pulling him deeper in me as I contract and pulse around him. My eyes want to roll into the back of my head from the intensity. His expression keeps my eyes locked on him as I watch him jerk several times before succumbing to the orgasm while calling out my name. I can feel each pulse as he empties inside me, prolonging my own release. We cling to each other until he falls on top of me, sweaty and breathless.

I run my fingers through his hair as he rests his head on my shoulder. Nothing has felt better than this. Our bodies are a sweaty mess. The sweet smell of sex lingers in the air and James is naked and spent on top of me.

The perfect date.

“Best first date ever,” I breathe.

He picks his head up and kisses my collarbone, my neck, my jaw, and then finally my lips.

“Best
last
first date ever,” he corrects. We kiss again as he pulls out of me, rolling to the side to remove the condom.

I bend over the bed while he cleans up and tuck the sheets back into place while leaving the comforter still in a heap at the end. James pulls me into his side and covers us with the sheet. Sleep threatens to come fast as we both yawn and press into each other.

“I love you,” I sigh, brushing my fingertips against his chest. He grabs my hand and lightly kisses my palm.

“I love you too.”

We drift off to sleep, our bodies sated and spent, not worrying about the outside world until we’re thrust back into reality tomorrow.

“H
UNGRY?” JAMES ASKS ME AS
he takes out several pans from the cupboard.

I honestly don’t know what I am. I could be hungry if I allowed myself to think of anything other than how much I’m going to miss this free time with him. Instead of giving a verbal cue, I just shrug my shoulders and pray he’s looking at me since I can’t stop staring at the marble countertop.

“Britta, look at me,” he pleads.

My eyes slowly meet his and the same sadness that clouds my thoughts shows in his eyes. He leaves the pan on the stove and rounds the counter to pull me into his arms. James settles in between my knees. I rest my head on his shoulder and cling to his back.

“I don’t want to leave. I want to stay here with you. Please don’t make me go back.”

Tears threaten to fall from my eyes as I burrow my head further into him. This weekend has been the best I’ve ever had. And I know what will happen the minute I step outside this house. We will go back to secret glances and stolen moments. Things that appease the mind but are never enough for the heart. It’s not sufficient anymore to know that he loves me, that he can’t stop thinking about me. It’s not even close to satisfying just being in the same room as him anymore. He’s my match, my soulmate. And I’ve never been more confident of anything in my life except for this. We belong together. I know it and he knows it.

His hand lightly cups the back of my head and softly strokes my hair as the first tear rolls down my face. He rubs his other hand soothingly up and down my back while pressing his cheek into the crown of my head.

“Sweetheart, this isn’t the end. We’re not over. We will never be over.” He brushes away another tear with his thumb. “This is a minor bump in the road. We won’t let this get us down. You are the most important thing to me and it breaks me to see you upset. Please, please don’t cry. We’ll still see each other,” he says, lightly brushing his lips against mine.

“It’s not the same. It’s not enough anymore. Don’t you see? We can’t go back to how it used to be. I can’t go back to sneaking around and pretending that I don’t have feelings for you. Do you know how jealous I get when I watch others who get to talk to you openly? How crazy I feel when I look at the man-eater put her hands on you like it’s her right? Part of me wants to run away or transfer schools, but I know it would only raise more suspicion. The other part of me wants to take the GED test now so I can leave school and be done with it. I have my acceptance letters and have already given my intent to Harvard.”

He shakes his head and sighs. “You can’t do that. I won’t let you throw away your future.”

“I’m not throwing away my future,” I cry as more tears stream down my face. “I’m saving my future, can’t you see that? Say you’ll come with me to Boston. I know we’ve never talked about what’s going to happen after I graduate but please, I need you with me when I go to Harvard. You can transfer your graduate work and attend there with me or even BU if necessary.”