Let Love Find You (42 page)

“Then you know
why
I need to kill him!”

“No, if I’ve learned anything in my wretched life, it’s that you don’t need that on your conscience. If it’s who I think it is, be satisfied he won’t survive my retribution.”

Devin walked away before he did something right then that
he’d regret. He was still as furious as when he’d arrived. How unsatisfying that meeting had gone. He should be pleased the bastard was dying, but he hadn’t expected that. What did he expect—before he thought the man was trying to kill him? What had he hoped for, prior to that? Some noble reason for his father’s staying out of his life? His father
did
think he’d done the noble thing, to keep them apart. Was it? Would Devin be any different now if he’d grown up knowing the man? Wouldn’t he have hated him either way?

He went home to Jermyn Street. He had so much filling his mind, his aunt had to yell at him to get his attention. She handed him a note with a worried frown. “This wasn’t sealed, care to explain?”

He read,
She hates your guts, but she’s going to shoot me if I shoot you. Come back to Norford, we need to talk. Rafe.

Devin burst out laughing. Raphael Locke certainly had a way with words, but these words washed away Devin’s guilt and every other nasty emotion that had been bedeviling him.

“I do believe the lady loves me,” Devin said with a grin.

“You gather that from her hating your guts?” Lydia huffed. “Amazing.”

“Y
OU KEEP HAVING MY
chair removed from your bedside.”

The whiny tone was so typical. Garth was disgusted as usual. At least he didn’t hold himself accountable for how this pathetic excuse for a man had turned out. The boy’s mother had spoiled him beyond redemption, paying his way out of every scrape, never letting him face up to the consequences of his actions. It’s too bad her husband didn’t show them both the door when she cheated on him. But Garth wasn’t her first indiscretion, and Marianne’s husband would have been a hypocrite to divorce her when he’d never been faithful either.

“Possibly because I don’t want your company?” Garth said as the boy came to stop by his bed. “But you are too stupid to take the hint.”

Farrell pretended not to hear that, reminding him, “You sent for me.”

“This once, yes, I did. But you won’t be here long enough to get comfortable, so the arrangement of my furniture is of no consequence.”

“Actually, I thought I might stay here with you for a spell, if you don’t mind. Got a damned duke’s son after my hide. Thinks I tried to force m’self on his sister. He showed up at my brother’s house. I just barely managed to slip away.”

“Yes, I know.”

“You know? How—?”

“I’ve had a letter from your mother this morning. The Locke heir is the least of your problems. Your family has now officially washed their hands of you.”

Farrell paled. “Mother won’t forsake me!”

“Of course she will. Why do you think she sent you to ingratiate yourself with me in the first place? Because she was fed up having to pay for your weaknesses. But you’ve outdone yourself this time, haven’t you? Your stupidity at the Locke estate gave your mother what she finally needed, an excuse to be done with you for good. But I’ve assured her I will take care of you.”

Farrell laughed in relief. “I’ve grown on you, haven’t I? A chip off of the old tree, eh?”

“That was your first mistake, to compare yourself to me. To live a life with nothing to be proud of? Did you really aspire to that?”

“Isn’t that what you’ve done?”

“Indeed, but as you see, I can and always have been able to afford to sin. A debauched luxury, as it were. You, on the other hand, have done nothing but hold your hand out to your mother, expecting
her
to pay for your sins. It’s fortunate for you that she didn’t know just how deeply in debt you really are or she would have turned her back on you long ago.”

“But you’re going to pay off my debts now? It’s a trifle amount to you. I would have asked you sooner . . . but . . .”

“Yes, we know why you didn’t. You didn’t want to appear
to have your hand out, when you had it out the moment you walked in my door.”

“I’m your son, damnit! Just because you didn’t raise me doesn’t make me any less your responsibility. You can’t leave everything to that other bastard of yours. I deserve at least half—”

“You didn’t want half, you wanted it all. Did you think I wouldn’t find out what you’ve done, what you’ve attempted? How dare you try to kill my heir!”

“Because you’re an old bastard making the wrong choice!” Farrell snarled at him. “He’s no better than I am. With him gone, you’ll have no choice but to leave it all to me.”

“The minds of fools still manage to amaze me. That would never have come to pass, boy. Reward a pathetic imitation of myself? Not bloody likely. But you’re too stupid to recognize the truth when you hear it. You would still try to kill him, wouldn’t you? Even when it would net you nothing.”

“I hate him because you favor him! Just as the earl favored Justin over me!”

“Envy, jealousy, sloth—if I had a shred of regret for what I’m going to do, you’ve put it to rest. I suppose I should be glad you bragged to that moneylender that I was your father. It expedites this nicely, that he came to me quite some time ago. If you don’t know what that means, it means I’m already in possession of your debts.”

Farrell started laughing. “Ha! I knew you couldn’t forsake your own flesh and blood. Thank you, Father. But you should know, that blighter still takes payment on my debt from me. I’ll have to get that back from him.”

“Truly, you didn’t inherit this stupidity from me. He accepts your mother’s trinkets because I told him to. You weren’t to know that your freedom rests in my hands until I was done
being amused by you. That day has arrived. Can you pay off your debt today, Farrell Exter?”

“You know I can’t.”

“Did you hear that, magistrate?”

“Every word, m’lord.”

Farrell gasped and swung around to see the large men blocking the doorway. There was a scuffle as he tried to escape. Garth closed his eyes, too tired to be interested any longer. But a fragrance warned him he couldn’t sleep just yet, a scent he hadn’t smelled in over thirty years. It surrounded him, took him back to a time of innocence. . . .

“Like me, he won’t be missed,” Garth said without opening his eyes. “But I’m sorry you had to witness that, Father.”

“Cleaning up your mistakes this late in life?” Owen responded.

“One of them.” Garth opened his eyes to feast them on his father. The old man had aged well. Garth had resisted the urge, all these years, to find that out sooner. “How much did you overhear?”

“Enough to hope his debt warrants a long term.”

“He will end his days in prison,” Garth said cryptically. “I take it you got my letter?”

Owen nodded as he came forward. “It was eloquent. It actually sounded as if you were dead, until I got to the postscript that you were still alive.”

“I was too tired last night to rewrite it. It wasn’t supposed to be sent until I was gone, but Devin found me, so I suspect you’ll be hearing from him soon now that he knows the truth. Figured you might appreciate prior warning.”

“I never thought I would have reason to thank you for anything, but thank you for Devin. I wish I could have known
sooner, but you explained why you kept him a secret, and even I agree with your reasoning. You never cared about your legitimate children, much less your bastards.”

“I don’t have as many as you assumed. I wish I could have known this one sooner, too, but, don’t worry, I made sure he won’t remember me with fondness. You two can hate me together.”

“I never hated you, Son. I hated what you did to yourself, and to others. I hated that you never felt remorse for those you wronged.”

“It takes death to want atonement—when it’s too late,” Garth said tiredly.

“It’s never too late to ask for forgiveness.”

Incredibly, tears filled Garth’s eyes. He shouldn’t ask. He knew the answer. Too late was too late. “Could you forgive me, Father?”

“I already have.”

H
ER EYES WERE
so red from crying, Amanda wasn’t letting anyone other than Alice into her room. She felt bad, though, to use the same excuse with her father that Ophelia was giving the guests who asked after her, that she wasn’t feeling well. Preston didn’t insist on seeing for himself, as Rafe did. All he’d said was “When you’re ready to talk, I’m here,” which made it pretty clear that he knew she wasn’t really sick.

Rafe must have blabbed—before or after he got back from calling out Farrell Exter? Ophelia had told her about that, and how angry Rafe was that he didn’t get his hands on the would-be rapist. But at least Exter’s family had assured Rafe that Farrell would have no more help from them ever again, and because his debts were so high, they expected him to be in debtors’ prison soon. His brother Justin had even confided that would be less embarrassing to them than a scandal over what he’d attempted to do and hoped Rafe would be satisfied that he’d be in prison for a long time.

Most of the guests had already gone home. Only a few
stragglers were left. Having decided that she was going to be an old maid after all, Amanda knew it was time to stop hiding. The thought of marrying one of her previous choices just for the sake of getting married was now abhorrent to her when her heart was already taken. She’d have to let her family know and went downstairs to find her father. She’d let her beaus know, too, if any of them were still there.

Reaching the bottom of the grand stairs, she was shocked to see the butler opening the front door—with Devin on the other side of it. Panicking, she swung about before he noticed her and came face-to-face with Kendall Goswick blocking a quick escape. Not now!

“I trust your appearance means you are feeling better?” Kendall’s tone seemed a bit stiff, but that wasn’t surprising. He’d come here just to see her, but she’d been absent the last few days of the party!

“Yes, I—”

“I saw you riding with Devin the other morning. I confess I was struck with jealousy that you prefer to spend time with him instead of me.”

It sounded as if he was still jealous. She ought to leave it at that, but couldn’t. He deserved to know why she was going to be an old maid.

“He was teaching me to ride so I could ride with you, at least that’s how it started.”

“Good God, the truth would have been preferable!”

“That was the truth, but—you’re right, I did fall in love with him. I’m sorry, Kendall. You really were my first choice before that happened.”

“I will take my leave now.” He bowed stiffly. “I’m sure you two will be very happy.”

“Kendall—”

He didn’t stop. He quickly ran up the stairs to collect his belongings. She didn’t try again to stop him. She felt so bad for dashing
his
hopes.

Then she heard the voice behind her that could make her heart quicken. Usually. It just made her want to cry now.

“Who was he wishing happy?” Devin asked.

She took a deep breath. She blinked back the tears in her eyes. She wouldn’t turn to face him, though. “You and I. He didn’t give me a chance to tell him I’ve decided to never marry.”

“Never is a long time, Mandy.”

She heard the amusement in his tone, she just doubted her hearing. He wouldn’t dare find this amusing!

“What choice do I have?” she said bleakly. “You’ve ruined me for any other man.”

He shook his head. “You aren’t ruined, not in the least.”

“I didn’t mean because of what we did. I mean—oh, never mind. If you’ve come to give me the reasons why you won’t marry me, save your breath. That you simply don’t love me would have sufficed.
Nothing
else is worth this—”

“In here, you two.”

Amanda winced at her father’s stern tone and expression when she saw him standing by his study door. She followed him into the room. She hoped Devin wouldn’t, that he’d just leave. But he came in behind her and closed the door. Preston took the seat at his desk and indicated the chairs in front of it. Amanda shook her head. She felt she was going to burst into tears at any moment and run out before anything was said.