Let Love Live (The Love Series #5) (11 page)

His hands went to the waistband of my pants, deftly unfastened everything and slid them down my legs along with my boxers in one less-than graceful move. “Yeah, I’m with you, but I needed you to be with me.” His words were raspy and flowed like liquid desire over my body.

He wrapped his strong hand around my cock and I returned the favor. “I’m definitely with you, but if you keep touching me like that, I won’t be with you for long.”

“I can’t hold out much longer, either.” We both looked down and watched in awe as we touched each other – a mixture of reverence and need. “Fuck…” Shane growled on a long hard thrust into my palm. “I’m coming…” I swallowed his words, sealing my lips over his as the hot jets of his orgasm flowed like lava over my hand.

“Oh shit…that’s too fucking hot.”  Shane’s hips moved erratically as he continued to come on my hand. “Oh fuck…” I gritted through a clenched jaw and Shane’s hand loosened just a touch, gliding smoothly over my cock.

“Oh, my God… yes… just like that…fuck…Shane.” His name tumbled from my mouth like a curse – a beautifully tortured curse.

We looked down at the mess between us, not sure what to say. “Wow,” was the only word my brain could process.

“Yeah,” Shane agreed before kissing me, nibbling on my lower lip.

I looked into his eyes, searching for how he felt. “I guess this means…I mean, what does this–”

Cutting me off before I could finish saying anything, he repeated my words from earlier, calming my racing heart. “We’re still us. Just more honest now.” Shane’s satisfied and happy smile settled everything in me that was unsettled. He was right.

Now we were an
us.
That thought forced a similar smile to pull at my lips.

Our smiles vanished when we heard a car door slam shut. “Shit. My mom’s home.” I jumped from the bed, tossed him a small towel to clean up, and grabbed one for myself. We were both dressed in seconds, just in time to hear my mom call up from the bottom of the stairs.

“Hey, boys. Shane, are you staying for dinner?” It was a question she had asked hundreds of times. Shane was kind of a permanent fixture around here – except for the last few months. His recent return made Mom happy to see we had been able to work out whatever issue caused us to fight in the first place.

Shane looked over at me, unsure of what he should say. I nodded and laughed before answering Mom. “Yeah, he is Mom. We’ll be down in a minute. Just finishing up studying.”

“So is that what we were doing?” Shane joked as he padded – no swaggered – to the door.

With his hand hovering over the doorknob, I put my palm against the door, locking him between it and my body. Snaking my arm around his waist from behind, I felt him melt into me. I rested my chin on his shoulder, inhaled his scent – a mixture of sweat and sex that had me hardening again. “Somehow, telling her that we were busy jerking each other off might make for awkward dinner conversation.” I licked and nibbled at his neck and swiped my hand under his shirt, up over his warm chest.

“Wanna study again tomorrow?” he nearly moaned, tilting his head to the side, offering his neck up to my roving mouth.

“Fuck, yeah.” I ground myself up against his ass before pulling away. “But let’s eat first, yeah?”

He mumbled something as he nodded his head. We both had to readjust ourselves before walking down the stairs to join my parents for dinner.

They didn’t suspect anything was different, and if they did, they didn’t say anything – that night or every other night that Shane was over
studying
. Since it was the end of the school year, it was the perfect explanation.

We
studied
a lot over the next few days, but with school ending and senior finals looming, we actually did do our schoolwork.

Work first then play, we’d joke with one another.

But to be honest, it was the after-play moments that I enjoyed the most. Those were the moments when I felt like we were really connecting. I caught myself daydreaming about those times throughout my day and night – long after Shane had already left for the night.

He hadn’t been gone longer than fifteen minutes before my phone vibrated on my nightstand as I laid there. A smug grin spread across my face as I picked up the call. “Miss me already?”

I expected to hear a “fuck off” or a soft “yeah” like I usually did, but instead, the muffled sound of angry tears filtered over the line. Fear shot through me. Did his dad find out about us? He’d already confided that being found out by his parents was his greatest fear; it was one that I understood. I feared for his safety daily.

He still didn’t say anything, which only made me grow colder, more afraid. “Where are you? You’re scaring me Shane.”

“In my car.” His cryptic response didn’t help abate my fear, but at least he’d said something.

“And where is your car?” My words were clipped, serious as I moved around the room, throwing on a shirt and shoes.

“Turning down your block,” he responded just as I peeked out my window, seeing his car speed toward my house. Something was definitely up, and by the sound of his screeching wheels, I could tell it wasn’t good.

I called out to my parents that I’d be back later and they barely lifted their heads from the TV, waving at me as I stormed out the door. Quickly, I slid into my seat and Shane jetted away from my house before I could even click the seatbelt in place.

We drove for a solid five minutes before either one of us said anything, letting the pulsing music fill the silence. Shane pulled down what would appear to most as a random side street, but I knew that it was the entrance to the town little league fields. It was past nine on Friday night, so there was no one around, and all the lights had already been turned down. The only glow came from Shane’s car as it pulled into a spot next to one of the many fields.

I let another song play, allowing myself to get lost in the nostalgia that this place held for me – for us. When the lyrics of “Home” by Daughtry began playing, I turned the volume down and laced my fingers together with Shane’s as they rested uneasily on his bouncing thigh.

“Talk to me? Please?” I twisted in my seat, my words carrying an air of hope that he’d open up.

He took a deep breath, squeezed my hand, and turned to face me. I growled in anger at the red welt covering the left side of his face. “Fuck, Shane.” I ghosted my fingers over where he’d obviously been slapped and he winced at my touch. “What happened?” He leaned into my touch as a tear streamed down his cheek.

Grabbing my hand from his face, he pulled it to his mouth, letting his lips linger there as he gathered his words. “Scranton dropped me.”

“What? Why? When?” My world spun around me as the implication of what this meant for him and for us raced in my brain.

“The letter was waiting for me when I got home. In my dad’s hands.” He chuckled humorlessly as he stared blankly out to the field before us. I sat there, quietly, letting him gather his thoughts, trying desperately to ignore the “what ifs” that were parading through my own head.

“He wasn’t happy,” he huffed. “And neither am I,” he added with a touch of sadness as he turned back to face me.

Hanging his head in shame, he averted looking in my eyes. “I fucked up, Dyl. I fucked everything up, just like I always do.” I couldn’t stand his self-deprecation, the seed of doubt his father planted long ago took root deep in his identity and colored just about everything he did. I knew when he was out on that field, he was truly happy; I hoped he felt the same when he was with me.

With that thought in mind, I tipped my head to the open field. “Come on.”  I got out of the car and walked around to his side, opening the door and all but pulling him from his seat. I dragged him out to the outfield. We rested up against the fence, the old, beat up wires uncomfortably supporting us. With our knees bent and leaned up against one another, we held hands and stared at the field on which we’d spent most of our childhood.

“Remember that time you pegged me in the head.” Absentmindedly, I ran my thumb over my eyebrow where the faint scar was hidden.

Shane chuckled. “Yeah.” He laughed again before adding, “I was fucking pissed at you, though.”

I’d never known that. I just assumed it was his stupid competitive edge coming out in the championship game. He spoke before I could even ask my question.

“Your parents came to the game – hell, they came to every game they could. Since it was the finals, your grandparents were there too with signs and all that shit. The four of them were cheering like fools from the sideline. And then there was me.” The bitterness of those last words couldn’t be missed. He was jealous and I hadn’t even thought to recognize it as such until that moment.

“Reid was at his own game so I didn’t even have him there to watch me. It’s sad when your younger brother is your biggest fan.”

I lightly stroked my thumb back and forth over the inside of his wrist, smiling at him. “Not one bit. That kid has always looked up to you, loved you – like more than a brother. To tell you the truth, I’ve always been jealous of you.”

“Liar,” he deadpanned, raising an eyebrow at me.

“No, I’m serious. You have a built in best friend. I know that sounds like some chick shit, but I’m serious.” I took a moment to sort through what I had to say. “I remember at the beginning of the season this year when we weren’t talking. I would watch the two of you joke around and laugh with each other. You were both so carefree. You could just tell you both genuinely liked being around one another, and not because you
had
to be because you were brothers. You’re lucky to have him.”

A quiet bubble of silence floated around us as the sky darkened from that midnight, sapphire blue to almost pitch black. Shane’s quiet words popped the bubble. “And when I shut you out, you didn’t have anyone.” It was a statement, not a question. The realization of what my life was like in his absence must have just hit him.

I shrugged, deflecting the emotions I didn’t feel like dealing with. He turned toward me, dropping one leg to the side so he could slide directly in front of me. “I’m sorry, Dyl. I didn’t even… I mean, I was just dealing with so much.”

“Shh, it’s okay. I’m not mad anymore.” I pulled his face to mine and rested my forehead against his. “I’d do it all again, if it meant being here with you.” A soft peck to his lips. “Like this.” Another kiss, this one lingering just a moment longer. “I wouldn’t change anything. It brought me to you, and I wouldn’t give that up for the world.”

A shy look spread across his ruggedly handsome face, his lips quirking up into a lopsided grin. With the mood lightened, I decided that we would figure out the whole not-going-to-the-same-college-anymore topic later.

“Come on.” I moved us further away from the fence, slinking down into the too long grass, letting it glide in between our fingers as we stared up at the twinkling stars.

“Truth or dare?” I asked without looking over at him.

I felt him tense slightly before exhaling a slow and steady breath. “Truth, I guess.”

“Did you really swipe the answers for Mrs. Brenna’s English final from her desk last year?”

He shot me an incredulous look, one that was clear even in the darkness of the night before busting out into a full-on laugh. “She left it right there. In plain sight. Besides, she’s like one-hundred and five years old. It was too good to be true; I had to.”

“Okay, one more.”

He gave me the side-eye. “Those aren’t the rules.”

“Since when have you known me to play by the rules?” I winked and smirked at him as he rolled his eyes. “Was it really you who super-glued all of the second floor classroom doors locked for senior prank?” It was genius, and while it pissed the teachers and principal off something awful, the kids at school were still talking about it weeks later.

His chest puffed with pride as he denied the accusation.

“You’re full of shit,” I called his bluff as I punched him on the arm.

“Yep, I sure am,” he gloated before laughing.

“I knew it.” I laughed with him, slapping him playfully on the chest. Just as I was about to pull my hand away, he twined our fingers together there.

“Truth or dare?” he asked.

“I’ll go with truth, too. Keep things even,” I joked, but I could feel the seriousness bleeding into his simple question.

“Have you ever been with a girl?”

It was a simple enough question, an understandable one, even. But it still hurt. He’d known me forever; he’d known I’d never dated anyone, never bragged about hook-ups. Was he just asking me to soften the blow of a confession that hovered in the background for him?

“No,” I snapped and tried to pull my hand away from him. Of course, he wouldn’t let me, keeping it securely tied to his.

“Good, me either.” Three simple words and my anger dissipated.

Bypassing the rules of truth or dare, he skipped over my turn, and blurted out his next question without even bothering to ask me if I’d wanted the dare. “Another guy?” Now, I was not an expert of any kind at relationships – this one was still in its infancy, but anyone could hear the emotion coloring his words.

I shimmied up next to him, moved my hand from his, and rested my head on his solid chest, resting my cheek there as the slow, rhythmic motion of his breathing calmed my soul. Placing my right hand over his heart, I breathed in his scent before answering. “There’s only been you, Shane. And I couldn’t be happier about that.”

He wrapped his arm around my shoulder, pulling me tightly to him before softly kissing the top of my head. “Me too.”

We talked for a long time, sharing stupid things that a new couple shares, that even as best friends we had never shared. Even through all the laughter, I never gave up my position curled next to him, cuddled against his chest.

The laughter faded as the seriousness returned. “Do you ever worry about being outed?” His question bothered me more than I could verbalize. I knew his concerns about his family finding out – his dad in particular – were scarier than mine, but I hated that he felt like he needed to hide me, us.

Rolling to my side, I planted my elbow on the soft ground and rested my head on my hand. “I actually planned on telling my parents before I left for school. I feel like I’m ready,” I admitted.