Let Me Be The One (12 page)

Lori interrupted her musings by telling Smith, “Vicki’s art is beautiful and smart and super sexy.”

“I’m not surprised to hear that,” Smith said in his deep, billion-dollar voice.

Vicki felt herself flush all the way down to her chest at the implication that he thought she was sexy, and Lori threw a Jelly Belly at him.

“Take some time off the clock, Smith.” She made a face at Vicki. “Just ignore him. He can’t stand it when a woman doesn’t throw herself at him. Zach used to be like that,” she said with a jerk of her thumb over her shoulder, “until he found
true love
.”

Lori said the words a little sarcastically, even though it was clear that Zach and Heather were wildly, and truly, in love with one other.

“You were married for a while, right, Vicki?”

“I was.”

“Do you miss it?”

She was surprised by Lori’s question. “Being married or being with my ex?”

“I’m assuming you divorced your ex because he was an ass.” Lori replied.

A laugh bubbled out of Vicki’s mouth. “I didn’t realize you knew him,” she joked.

Lori grinned back before clarifying, “I mean the living with a person part. Knowing you’ll wake up and see the same person every morning. Having someone who’s always the first person you call with good and bad news. Knowing that when you fall asleep in front of the TV with him at the end of the day instead of having hot monkey sex, it doesn’t mean you don’t love him.”

“My ex was also a sculptor and he—” Vicki paused. “—he embraced the artist lifestyle, if that makes any sense. There wasn’t a lot of rhyme or reason to our hours.”

Or any kind of accountability. It was what she’d thought was so exciting about him at first. The only thing he’d done traditionally was to marry her. But he’d had his reasons for that, most of them having to do with who held the power in the relationship, from the very first day she’d met him as the starry-eyed young sculptor.

Vicki was stunned to realize that the only person with whom she had ever done any of the things Lori had listed was Ryan.

Fortunately, just then the inning started and she could let the conversation drop away to train her gaze on the field where Ryan was throwing his first pitch of the game. He was magnificent. All that raw talent from when he was a kid had matured into athletic stardom.

In a matter of minutes, he’d struck out each of the batters. The crowd chanted his name and she was surprised when he grinned up at her again.

And then, suddenly, the chants turned into cheers.

“Oh my God. I can’t believe neither of you said anything.” Lori gave a happy little sound and threw her arms around Vicki. “Congratulations!”

Over Lori’s shoulder, Vicki finally learned the reason for everyone’s cheers.

CONGRATULATIONS RYAN SULLIVAN AND VICKI BENNETT ON YOUR ENGAGEMENT!

A picture of Ryan was on one half of the huge screen, a still shot of Vicki laughing at something Lori had said just a few minutes before beside it, with a dozen red and pink hearts layered between their pictures.

Couldn’t James be happy with pulling Anthony back into her life? Did he have to go to the press about her relationship with Ryan, and then make it doubly worse by upping the ante and telling the press they were engaged, rather than just dating?

When she looked back toward the field, Ryan was still standing on the mound looking up at her. She knew she needed to pull herself together, but how could she when her big fat lie had spiraled off in ways she’d never planned?

She felt like everything was happening in slow motion as Ryan put his hand to his lips and blew her a kiss.

The crowd cheered again, so loud this time that her ears actually started ringing. Smith put his arm around her, leaned over and said, “Smile if you can, Vicki.” His voice was calm. Soothing. “Look at Ryan and pretend it’s just the two of you here. One smile. That’s all you need to give him, and then you’ll be off the hook for now.”

Somehow, Vicki managed to follow Smith’s step-by-step, all the while trying to convince herself that they’d probably look back and die laughing about this one day. Somehow, she managed not only to smile back at Ryan, but also to blow a kiss back.

A total showman after all his years as a star athlete, Ryan reached into the air with his glove and caught her “kiss” as it blew by.

“Well done,” Smith murmured, and she was beyond glad the big movie star been there to coach her through the most horrific moments of her life.

“As soon as the game is over, I need to know everything,” Lori said. “Absolutely everything.”

The temporary glow that had moved through her when she and Ryan had been smiling at each other immediately drained away. Vicki absolutely, positively hated lying to Ryan’s family. But she needed to talk to him first to figure out their plan together before she confessed everything to his siblings.

Chapter Eleven

It was the longest baseball game of Ryan’s life.

He’d never missed a pro game, barring being injured or sick enough for the team doctors to bench him, but he’d been on the verge of bailing on it to go out and hunt for Vicki. After he’d called the number for the art studio nonstop for a half hour, someone had finally picked up and told him she wasn’t there but they were pretty sure she’d been working all afternoon.

But then when she hadn’t been sitting with his siblings at the start of the game, that elemental panic came back. For fifteen years he’d barely seen her and now he was flipping out if he didn’t hear back from her in a matter of minutes. He knew he was acting crazy, but he couldn’t help it. Not when he was now worried both about James getting hold of her
and
what a massive screwup it would be if she found out what he’d done before he had a chance to explain it to her.

Ryan had been in the fame game long enough to expect the story of his engagement to hit the Internet pretty darn fast. But he’d figured some stranger at the stadium might say something to Vicki about it, maybe congratulate her, not that Hawks management would blindside her with the big-screen congratulations.

He knew he shouldn’t be pissed at them. When one of their players was happy, they were happy. If he and Vicki had really been engaged it wouldn’t have been a big deal, apart from the fact that she was clearly uncomfortable being in the spotlight.

But when it was all a lie—one he’d orchestrated because he couldn’t stand the thought of letting her walk out of his life before he had a chance to convince her that they could be more than friends—it all added up to one big huge piece of fail.

The reporters were lined up to talk to him. One after another they all said the same thing: “Another shutout, Ryan. Looks like love agrees with you.”

He knew this was part of his job, giving them the sound bites they needed for their papers and TV shows and blogs, but after only a handful of minutes, he couldn’t do it anymore. Especially when he looked up into the stands and saw that Vicki was completely surrounded. His brothers and sister were with her, but he was the one that really needed to be there. Protecting her. Explaining it all to her.

And praying that he could make their fake engagement sound like it made sense.

The group of reporters immediately parted for him, but as he rushed to get to the stands, the team owner stopped him. “Congratulations, Ryan. Both on the spectacular win and your upcoming nuptials.”

This was the guy who signed Ryan’s massive paychecks. He had to slow down, find a smile, and get out a “Thanks.”

“I’m looking forward to personally toasting both of you at the team celebration tomorrow night.”

Ryan wanted nothing more than to show Vicki off, to claim her as his in front of his teammates and bosses. Even though she wasn’t his.

And he hadn’t even come close to claiming her.

Ten rows down from his family’s section of the stadium, he could hear everyone talking to Vicki at once.

“Congratulations!”

“We’re so happy for you!”

“What’s it like to be engaged to the best pitcher in baseball?”

“Have you set a date yet?”

“Where’s your ring?”

Ryan tried to hold onto his cool as he forced his way into the crowd of well-wishers. He wished he’d thought this whole thing through better, that he’d realized just how much it would put Vicki into the public eye. Even though he was used to it, this engagement hysteria was pretty brutal.

Smith wasn’t anywhere to be seen, but judging by the half-dozen large men in black, Ryan suspected his brother had called in his security staff to watch over Vicki. Lori had her arm around her, and his little sister was doing most of the talking to the crowd. Zach and Heather were flanking Vicki’s other side, his brothers and sister doing all they could to watch over the woman who meant everything to him.

For that alone, Ryan owed them so much more than he could ever pay back.

Finally, he was close enough to reach for her, to pull her into him and press a kiss to the top of her head. She smelled so good, like clay and woman, and he closed his eyes for a moment as the pleasure of holding her rocked through him.

When he finally looked up at the crowd, they were all waiting for him to say something. Slipping his hand through Vicki’s, he smiled and said, “Thanks so much for your support and excitement. You’ve got my personal promise that we’re going to do our best to win the playoffs and take the World Series again this year.” He made sure to widen his grin as he said, “But for the next few days, I’m sure you’ll all understand if all I want is to be alone with my fiancée.”

With that, he let Lori, Zach, and Heather deal with the crowd. He moved with Vicki up through the stands and in through one of the back doors into the clubhouse, not stopping until they’d reached one of the private batting cages.

“I was so sure that everything was fine, that James was going to leave us alone,” she said as soon as the door clicked closed behind them. “And I can’t believe he said we were engaged instead of just dating! It’s like he knew exactly what to do to try to force your hand and make you admit that we’re not actually together.”

Her voice was shaking and Ryan felt like he’d swallowed cement that had hardened in the center of his gut as she added, “I’m so sorry I dragged you into this, Ryan. If I could do it all again, I wouldn’t have told that first lie. I should have known it would spiral off into something bigger. Lies always do.”

The final eight innings of the game should have bought him time to figure out how to tell her the truth without sounding like a complete a-hole.

They hadn’t.

“Don’t come down on yourself for trusting your instincts about James,” he told her, but even though he meant every word, he knew he was stalling. He needed to just man up and say it already. “You’re right about him being a nasty scumbag, but he wasn’t the one who leaked news of our engagement to the press.”

“What do you mean it wasn’t him?”

She was frowning so hard that Ryan had to reach out to smooth his thumb between her eyebrows. He wanted to press a kiss there, wanted all this crap to go away so that he could start all over again.

“It has to be him. You and I and James are the only ones who know that we’re supposed to be dating.”

“I was trying to get hold of you all afternoon to explain.”

“Explain what, Ryan?”

“Why I had to do it.”

She stared at him in shock. “
You
did this?”

“My cousin Rafe is an investigator. He did some looking into James. That guy is a class A creep. And I don’t want him coming anywhere near you. I was worried that a guy like that wouldn’t even blink at playing a boyfriend for a fool. But if he thought we were getting married—” The look in her eyes, horror mixed with anger, stopped him. Had him saying, “After talking to Rafe, all I could think about was keeping you safe.”

“You should have asked me first.” Each word vibrated with emotion as she took a step back from him. “Why didn’t you ask me first?”

Because I don’t want you to leave me.

Ryan ran his hand over his face. “I’m sorry, Vicki.”

“Did you know they were going to do that congratulations screen...and with me wearing this awful dress?”

“No.” He reached for her and took her hand in his, even though it was perfectly clear just how upset she was with him. But he couldn’t stand feeling like he was losing even more of her, not after finally getting a chance to be close to her these past few days. “I swear I didn’t. And you look gorgeous in that dress.”

“I look like I just finished washing the floor.”

“In that case, every guy who sees a mop from now on is going to get a hard-on.” She just stared at him for several long moments, long enough for him to worry that he’d lost her for good. “I know I screwed up, Vicki, but I can’t stand the thought of anything happening to you.”

Finally, her eyes softened. “I still wish you had talked to me about it first so that I could convince you not to do it, but I know you had the best intentions.”

Ryan had been working to convince himself of that all afternoon, but the truth was, he’d had just as many selfish motives in doing what he’d done as he’d had selfless ones.

“We need to tell your family the truth, at least.”

“No.” The one word came out sharply. And hard enough that Vicki’s eyebrows went up.

“I hated lying to them today.”

“They’d understand if they knew the reason.”

Telling his family the truth felt like the beginning of a slippery slope—one where Vicki ended up sliding out of his reach. But he’d already gotten his way one too many times already.

“I won’t lie to your family anymore. I trust them and I know you do, too.” She pulled her hand from his and crossed her arms beneath her breasts. “If you won’t tell them, I will.”

He knew she was waiting for his answer, but he could barely think about anything but kissing her gorgeous mouth, slightly pursed from her irritation with him. The urge was strong enough that he didn’t stand a chance of doing anything but pressing his lips to hers softly.

A surprised gasp sounded against his mouth as her arms uncrossed so that she could steady herself against him.