Letter to Belinda (28 page)

That was bad, because she yearned to talk to someone who was mature, and understanding of someone her age. Someone who would understand her wants, needs, and desires, and able to fulfill them.

But then again, that was good, because he apparently had none of the normal male 35-year old sex drive
,
of a man facing ‘mid-life crisis’. That was the impulse that caused men his age to do stupid things when a woman was within a mile of his territory, to prove his ‘manliness’. Lennie was, quite simply, a kid, stuck in a 35 year old body. She wondered if that was confusing to him, or if it caused him problems, but from what she had seen over the past few months that she had known him, it didn’t bother him a bit. Every day was just another day to an 8 year old kid. Nothing more, nothing less. He accepted life as it came to him. As long as he was that way, she would count her blessings. She knew all too well that men had a sexual ‘on’ switch, and once she turned it on, it was hard to turn it off. Lennie appeared to have a faulty switch.

When they arrived in Southside, she followed the address until she came to the Cancer Treatment Center at UAB, which was a big shock.

“Lennie, do you have cancer?”

“Not that I know of. What is cancer?”

Boy, had she opened a can of worms! She didn’t want to get into a long explanation of what cancer was, so she just replied, “It’s a sickness.”

“You mean like the flu?”

“Yes, something like the flu.”

“I don’t know. I don’t feel like I’m sick. I have headaches sometimes. My doctor said for me to come here for some tests.”

She parked on the street, and fed two quarters into the parking meter, and they went inside. “You are supposed to see a Dr. Thomas, and according to the directory, Dr. Thomas is on the third floor, in the Neurology Department.”

“You’re good with directions, Miranda! I never would have found this place.”

“Well, if you have to come back a second time, you’ll know where it is.”

“I hope I don’t have to come back up here again. This is too far!”

They signed in, and sat down to wait, and the nurse called his name immediately. Miranda got up to go with him.

“Are you a family member?” the nurse asked.

“No, but I’m a close friend.”

“We really shouldn’t let you in, unless you are a family member. That is our policy.”

“But he doesn’t have a family!”

“Mr. Kellerman, is it okay with you if she comes with you?”

“I’m not Mr. Kellerman! That was my Dad before he died! My name is Lennie Kellerman!”

“Okay Lennie, is it okay for this lady to come with you?”

“Sure it is!”

“Can I speak with you privately?” Miranda asked the nurse.

“Yes, right this way.”

“Stay here, Lennie. I’ll be right back.”

Around the corner, Miranda said to the nurse: “Look, Lennie has no family, and no close friends. He is mentally retarded, and lives by himself in my neighborhood. He trusts me, and I need to go with him to make sure he doesn’t panic. He does that in strange places, and around strange people. He really needs me there with him.”

“Well, I suppose it’s all right. It’s just that the doctor will be discussing his private medical condition with him, and he is entitled to his privacy. We can leave that decision up to him.” They returned to where Lennie was waiting, and the nurse asked him.

“Lennie, do you mind if she goes back and sees the doctor with you?”

“No, I don’t mind! I want her to go with me!”

“Then I guess it’s all right. Follow me this way, Lennie.” She took them to an examination room, and told them that the doctor would be right in.

“You fixed it up so you could come with me, didn’t you, Miranda?”

“Yes I did! I knew you wanted me there, so I fixed it!”

“I’m glad you did, because I get scared in here by myself!”

Time passed slowly. Finally Dr. Thomas came in and introduced himself, and he informed Lennie that he was going to have an MRI, which had been requested by his family doctor.

Lennie nodded. Miranda asked the doctor to explain what an MRI was, so Lennie would know what was going on.

“You lie on a cot, and are moved into this tunnel, which takes a 3-D picture of what is inside you. It’s painless, and it shows us what you look like inside, without cutting you open.”

“So you won’t have to cut me open?”

“Not at all!”

“That’s good. Will you be through by lunch time?”

“I don’t know about that. After the MRI, I will let you go to lunch, but you need to be back here by one, so I can go over the results of the MRI with you.”

“Okay.” Lennie seemed relieved that they would be allowed to go to lunch, because for him, lunch was the highlight of the whole trip. Miranda, on the other hand, was getting a bad feeling about this whole thing. No one said it, but her intuition told here that bad news was just around the corner, and she felt bad for Lennie.

21
 

A
s Lennie was signing in at the Cancer Treatment Center, at UAB, Janice and Penelope were sitting in Janice’s car, out front of the Country Quick Stop, watching Bob’s house, to know when he left.

Janice had felt uneasy, picking up Penelope in front of a house that was cordoned off with yellow police ‘Do not enter—Crime scene’ tape. But no one had seen her. They had been sitting there at the convenience store for several minutes, and were starting to wonder if he had already gone.

“Here he comes!” Penelope said. “I hope he doesn’t stop here!”

“He won’t. He’ll be pushing it, to get to Bates Park by 10 o’clock.”

Janice seemed to be right, as the maroon Ford truck came out of his driveway, and headed east, toward Laurel Grove.

“It worked like a charm!” Janice said proudly. “We’ll give him a minute or two, to get on over in town, in case he forgot something.”

“No, we’d better go on now! That will give me more time to hunt for my Bible, in case he hid it somewhere.”

“Are you sure he’s gone?”

“I sure hope he is! Let’s go!”

Janice started her car, and went up the road, and into Bob’s driveway. She pulled in and parked in such a way that Bob could not block her in, if he did come back unexpectedly.

“Okay, I’m going in! Blow your horn, if you see him coming.”

“Don’t worry, I will!”

Penelope apprehensively walked up on the porch, and looked back at Janice, who was using sign language to urge her on. She opened the screen door, then tried the main oak door. The knob turned, and the door opened easily. She gave Janice the ‘thumbs up’ sign, then disappeared inside.

Janice passed the time by telling herself that she was doing a good thing, the
right
thing. It wasn’t burglary, because Penelope was going after her own Bible, and besides, the door was left unlocked, so there was no breaking and entering. If they got caught there, by Bob, or the police, or anyone else, she would say that they had come there to see Bob, and they thought he was inside the house, the reason she had went on in. Yes, that should work. But they wouldn’t have to resort to that, because no one would notice them here anyway. They would be long gone by the time Bob suspected that something wasn’t right at Bates Park. She watched the clock on her dash, and wondered what was taking Penelope so long? The plan was simple, in and out, no complications.

Inside the house, Penelope was petrified to be back in the same house where such awful things were done to her so many years ago. She wished this whole place would just burn to the ground! But not before she found her Bible.

She wondered why God allowed such wicked things to go on in the world, and how such wicked men as her Dad could go through life unpunished? It wasn’t right that such a wicked man could live well for all these years without God’s retribution falling on him. He had seemed to prosper, while at the same time,
she
was the tortured soul, unable to find peace, and she was the victim! She had become an alcoholic, and a drug addict, and a slave to degrading sexual perversion, because of what
he
did to her! He had never shed a tear of remorse over what he had done. Where was the justice in that? She knew God would judge him in the next life, and would, no doubt, cast him into the Lake of Fire, just like the preachers say, but to her, that was not good enough! Her Dad needed to suffer torment
now
for what he had done to her! But was
she
the one to inflict such judgment on him? No, she was terrified of him! Just being in his house with him gone, was terrifying enough! Any time she was around him, any courage she had mustered, just melted away, trickling to the floor, along with the contents of her bladder. She couldn’t help it, he scared the piss out of her!
So
find
your
Bible,
and
get
out
of
here,
she told herself. This was the
last
place she wanted to see her Dad.

Her Bible wasn’t in the most obvious places, like on the mantle, or the cluttered coffee table. She made sure, by raking everything off into the floor, bit at a time. She checked out the roll-top desk, with the same results, no Bible. But she did find a stash of 100 dollar bills, in the neighborhood of 5,000 dollars. At first, she mindlessly stuffed the wad into her dress pocket, but then thought about it, and returned it to its hiding place. She wanted nothing of her dad’s stuff, not even money. It felt so
dirty.
She moved on to the kitchen, checking out the cluttered table there, with no results. Only one more possible location she had not checked yet, and that was the bedrooms.

She went into her room first, but it was obvious that it was not there. In the years since she had been gone, her Dad had made her bedroom into a catch-all junk room. That just left one place to look, and she really didn’t want to go in there! Her Dad’s bedroom! She hesitated at the door, trying to muster the courage to go in there. She knew that if it was here, it had to be in his bedroom. With the feeling that time quickly running out, she forced herself into the bedroom.

She froze when she saw a naked woman in his un-made bed! She slapped her hand over her mouth, to keep from screaming, because the woman did not look to be alive. There was something unnatural about her position. Penelope crept closer, unable to take her eyes off the woman. When she got beside the bed, he realized that she the woman
wasn’t
real!
She was one of those life-like silicon dolls! Her Dad was keeping company with a giant sex toy! But there was something strange about the head. It was partially covered with a sheet, but she could see that there was something
taped
over
the
face!
The only way to see what it was, was to throw off the covers, and turn the fake woman toward her. She was so fascinated at this, that she momentarily forgot about her Bible, and turned the doll over. She immediately wished she hadn’t.

The large picture taped over the doll’s face, was
her
Senior
portrait!
The half smiling portrait of herself looked back at her with accusing eyes! Penelope was repulsed, and backed away from the bed, running into the dresser so hard, that things fell over with a clatter. She looked around, and realized that she was still alone in the room. Just her, and her sex toy look-alike!
How
perverted
could
my
Dad
get?
What
wouldn’t
he
do?
The answer to that was scattered all across the top of his dresser. All kinds of lubrication oils, and unmentionable sexual stimulators. But then, right there in the midst of it, was her Bible! She raked the jar of lubricant off her beloved Bible, and used a dirty towel to wipe crud off the cover. She hugged it to her chest, as though she had found a long lost friend. She didn’t know why she was so comforted by it, but now that she had it back, she could go.

What was that?

A noise from the kitchen? Was someone in the kitchen? Janice perhaps?

No, probably her imagination, or more likely, some of the junk settling that she had earlier rummaged through. But she found no comfort in that thought, because she knew it
could
be
her Dad!

She froze for what seemed like several minutes, listening intently for another sound, but heard none. If she had, she probably would have freaked out. She had her Bible, now to get out of this den of perversion. She somehow believed that with her Bible in hand, God would somehow protect her. (Though God never seemed to be around, when her Dad was having his way with her as a teen. Why would God suddenly protect her now?)

As quietly as a mouse, she began leaving the bedroom. She made it to the doorway and stopped, looking both ways.

Nothing. That was good. This old house was so solidly built, that there had never been any squeaking floorboards. That was good. She could move about silently, with no fear of being heard. She moved back down the hallway, to the kitchen, and was relieved to see that no one was there. She was as tense as a cat, muscles tight as banjo strings, but seeing no one in the kitchen caused her to relax a bit. All she had to do, was go through the living room, and out the front door, to where Janice was waiting on her. But before she did, just to satisfy her doubts, she moved toward the kitchen sink, and used the back of her hand to push back the dirty kitchen curtains, to see into the back yard.

And there sat her Dad’s maroon truck!

She almost screamed!

He was here! He had gone down the highway, then turned off on the old fire lane, and driven right around to the back of the house!

But where was he?

Maybe he didn’t even know she was here?

A calm voice from behind her shattered her thoughts.

“Penny, you decided to come back home!”

(Penny,
that
was
what
he
called
her
when
she
was
a
little
girl.)