Letting Go (Vice, Virtue & Video) (5 page)

James and I sit at a table near the window in the small
Greek restaurant. I come here a lot when I miss him—so I practically
lived here freshman year. I wanted to take him here today, since he’s leaving
tomorrow. It reminds me of all the delicious food his mom cooked when we were
little. James, of course, learned all those recipes, and he stepped them up to
restaurant-level. This place is good, but nothing compares to what James can
whip up.

“So you’re working pretty frequently now, right?” I ask, pulling
a piece of chicken off my kabob.

He pops a falafel in his mouth and nods. “Yeah. Trying to
stay busy, climb the ranks and shit.”

“You must be doing a good job. Didn’t you tell me you got
nominated for one of those award things?”

“Yep. It was pretty sweet. I’m not gonna win it, but it’s
still cool.”

He recently received a big nomination for a prestigious porn
award. He’s trying to act like it’s no big deal, but I remember how excited he
was when he called me about it. I didn’t really know the porn industry had
awards before James told me. According to him, there are actually several award
shows for the adult industry. The one that gave him the nod is supposedly the
biggest. It would be the equivalent of the Oscars, I guess. Even though I knew
absolutely nothing about it, I was happy for him.

“How do you know you’re not going to win?” I ask.

“They always give it to older guys,” he says. “I’m still too
green. They’ll give it to one of these dudes who have been in the business for
a decade. It’s a paying-your-dues thing.”

“Ah, I see.”

“Still gets you a lot more work, though. I booked, like,
five jobs within the first two hours of them announcing the nominations.”

“Wow! You’re in demand, stud,” I tease.

“People dig me. I just can’t help it,” he playfully brags.

“How’s life outside of porn?” I ask.

“Good. Pretty much the same as before.”

“So…threesomes and bitchy porn stars?”

He laughs and shakes his head. “They’re not all bitchy. In
fact, I prefer my threesomes with the nice girls.”

I roll my eyes, but I can’t help but chuckle.

“The only thing is, so many of them are porn stars
twenty-four seven, you know what I mean?”

I shake my head.

“They like to fuck. I get it. We all like to fuck, but
sometimes I feel like that’s all we do.”

“James Laird feeling burned out on constant sex? Somebody
alert the media! I can’t believe my ears right now!” I joke.

“I’m not burned out on it,” he replies. “Sometimes it gets a
little boring, is all.”

“I’ve never heard you say anything like that before in my
life.”

“Don’t get me wrong, it’s still fun. I went to see
The
Borne Ultimatum
with this girl, and she cave me a handy in the theater. It
was pretty cool.”

His expression is much less enthusiastic that it normally
would be. I can tell he’s trying to convince himself.

“That seems kind of gross.” I blush as I shake my head. “I
mean, what about cleanup? It’s not like those old porn theaters. You wouldn’t
expect to go to a Matt Damon movie and sit down in someone’s jizz.”

He laughs loudly, leaning over the table like he can’t
handle it. “That’s what your mouth is for,” he says, grinning.

“Eew!” I grab my stomach like this is totally nauseating.

“It’s not like it was opening weekend. It wasn’t crowded in
there. We went in; we sat kinda toward the back. Halfway through the movie, she
starts rubbing my crotch. Pretty soon, she’s jerking me off, and I’m just
trying to keep quiet. There’s a lot of action in that movie, so people don’t
hear anything over the sound effects and stuff. She blows me for a little bit,
I finish, then we watch the rest of the movie.”

I raise my eyebrow as I stare at him. “Honestly, that has
got to be the saddest handjob story I’ve ever heard.”

He looks surprised, and he erupts in laughter. “Sad?” he says
breathlessly. “How is that sad?”

“First of all, you can’t even go the duration of a feature
film without having to get off? Second, I feel bad for anyone around you who
saw what was going on. People are there to watch a movie, not watch two
off-duty porn stars mouth-fuck in the back row.”

He’s cracking up as he listens to me.

“That story lacked anything fun or exciting—and you
didn’t even sound that pumped when you recounted it to me just now. Hence, sad.”

He scoffs, but he’s smiling. “I’m sure if it had been you
getting finger blasted in the back row you would have found the whole thing
very exciting.”

“I doubt it. I will never get finger blasted in the back row
of anything! I have no desire to engage in public finger blasting.”

“I’m sure I could change your mind,” he jokes, winking at
me.

“I just don’t
need
shit like that. With you, it’s
like you need it.”

“Oh, so now I’m a fuckin’ sex addict?” He grins
mischievously at me. “You think I’m addicted to pussy?”

“What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without it?” I retort.

“I don’t know. Couple weeks, maybe.”

I smirk. “No comment.”

He snickers and winks at me. “You’ll see, cupcake. Once you get
some good dick, you’ll be hooked too.”

“James!” I gasp, immediately blushing.

“You’re staying in my room again tonight, right?”

I assume he’s changing the subject, so I nod.

“Good. I’ll get you in my bed and give you the D, baby!” he
jokes. “I’ll have you so addicted you’ll need a twelve-step program to cure
you.”

“Oh, my God!” I cover my face, peeking at him through my fingers.
“I will not be needing any D from you! I’m officially passing on the D,
thanks.”

“All right. We’ll see what happens.”

I’m completely blushing as I shake my head at him. “Shut up
and eat your pita.”

He snickers, gives me a wink, and takes a bite. I can see
that cocky look on his face, the triumphant “I win, cupcake” smile he gets when
he thinks he’s beat me in a little word battle. The funny part is, I love that
smile.

When we go back to his hotel at the end of the night, no D
is served, but there’s a lot of cuddling, and I can see that he’s truly happy to
be spending time with me. I fall asleep all tucked into his side.

My phone alarm goes off on the nightstand and I quickly shut
it off. Lola’s still asleep next to me, and she makes a little groan as she
rolls onto her side facing away from me. That girl loves her sleep, and I know
she hates waking up early.

Unfortunately, I have a flight to catch in a few hours, so I
slip out from under the covers and quietly make my way to the bathroom. I brush
my teeth and go through the motions before I hop in the shower.

I hate leaving. I hate it more than anything. Every time I
see Lola nowadays, there’s always the point where one of us has to go, and it
sucks. You grow up seeing a person every day, and then shit changes and you
have to start arranging visits with them. I used to just walk across the lawn
to her house. Now I have to book flights and make hotel reservations. I don’t
want to do that shit for the rest of our lives.

As I’m toweling off, I come up with an idea. She said after
college she’d go wherever she could find a job. I need to get her to apply for
jobs in California, preferably anything within ten miles of me. I need to
convince her that it’s the place to be, and that the world will be her fuckin’
oyster if she just moves out there. That way we can see each other all the
time, and we’ll still have the option of the spontaneous pop-in instead of the
highly scheduled visit. I could see her every day again, and there is no way to
even describe how much I fuckin’ need that.

I come back out into the room to find her still asleep. She
starts to stir when she hears me getting my jeans on and putting my stuff back
into my suitcase.

“You’re leaving already?” she asks sleepily.

“Yeah, baby,” I say, coming over to sit on the side of the
bed. “I gotta get down there pretty soon or I’ll miss my flight.”

She looks kind of sad, but I lean over and kiss her
forehead.

“You stay in bed,” I softly tell her. “Checkout isn’t ’til
noon, so you can get some rest here before you have to go to class. Take a
shower, order some breakfast, enjoy the lap of luxury for a while.”

She laughs and smiles up at me, so I tuck her hair behind
her ear and smile back.

“I better see you again soon,” she says in a fake threat as
she points at me.

“You got it, cupcake.”

I sigh and look in her eyes for a second. I really want to
stay. I want to crawl back under the covers and spoon her so I can press my
nose into her hair. She smells so nice, and that fragrance always makes me feel
mellow. But alas, I have to go.

“I’m gonna see you soon, baby,” I whisper, cupping her jaw.

“I hope so,” she replies.

“Why don’t you knock me a little kiss goodbye?” I say,
tapping my cheek.

She sits up and I can feel her smiling as she presses her
lips to my face. She doesn’t just give me one kiss. She gives me five.

“I’ll text you when I land,” I say, standing up.

I take one last look at her, then I take off for the
airport.

I’m totally wiped out by the time I get home. An early
wakeup call and a six-hour flight have kicked my ass. Even though it’s early
afternoon, I’m ready to take a nap. I’m also starving, so I toss my bag in the
bedroom and go into the kitchen to make a sandwich.

It’s crazy because my house feels more like a hotel than the
hotel. All my stuff is here, but it feels sort of emotionally stark. I get this
feeling a lot after visits with Lola. Everything’s bright and buzzing when I’m
with her, and it feels dull and mundane without her. This is exactly why I need
her around me. It might have been a little extreme to ask her to move in with
me, but life just sucks without her. Everything would be so much better if she
were here, and the prospect of seeing her every day is almost too good to get
my hopes up about.

I’m halfway done with my sandwich when my phone rings. It’s
Rick, and he sounds kind of frantic.

“Kid! Thank God!” he says. “I need you to help me out this
afternoon.”

“With what?”

“I got a shoot today, and that bastard Troy is two hours
late. Everybody’s getting restless and Jessica’s threatening to walk off my
set.”

“Oh, shit,” I reply.

“So I need you to come down and replace him. I want to send
him a message that he’s fuckin’ replaceable, you know? You’ll come in there and
rock the shoot, and he’ll see that I got much better talent than him.”

I’m kind of flattered by that comment, even though I know
Rick’s probably saying it to butter me up so I’ll agree to come do the shoot.

“What kind of scene are we talking about here? I literally just
got back from visiting Lola, and I’m pretty fuckin’ tired, Rick.”

“It’s just a boy-girl scene, nothing too strenuous. We can
get it done in two, maybe three hours tops.”

I pause to think it over.

“I’ll pay you double what we were paying Troy.”

He’s sweetening the pot, and it’s working. “Yeah, all
right.” I finally agree.

“Ah, you’re a life saver!” Rick replies. “See, kid? This is
why you’re my favorite performer: professionalism. You treat this like a
fuckin’ job, unlike some of these schmucks.”

I chuckle to myself. “Text me the address. I’ll shower and
head right down there.”

“Fantastic! Thanks, kid.”

“You owe me one,” I joke.

“I will pay you back in spades, my friend!”

“All right. I’ll be down there as soon as I can.”

I hang up the phone and try to figure out how many Red Bulls
I’m going to have to chug to get the energy for the shoot. I have to dig deep,
to summon any remaining energy I have. I put my thoughts of Lola on the
backburner and start psyching myself up for the scene. Back to the real world,
for now.

###

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First
Dance

Free introductory short story

Revealed

Vice, Virtue & Video book #1

Letting Go

James and Lola novella

Captured

Vice, Virtue & Video book # 2 (coming soon!)

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James Laird and Lola Caraway have been next door neighbors
and best friends since elementary school. James was always the ultimate player,
and after graduation moves to LA and finds his place as a rising star in the
porn industry. Lola, three years younger, is a studious overachiever and on
track for graduation and success in college.

Lola knows about and accepts James and his debauchery; it's
never been a secret between the two friends. However, a hometown visit prompts
James to face his evolving feelings for her, especially after his conservative
family discovers his true profession and she comes to his rescue. Not wanting
to seduce the innocent Lola, he returns to California, where he sets his sights
on becoming a superstar in the industry.

While Lola is visiting James from college, they dance around
their attraction to each other. After Lola admits she's never had an orgasm,
James offers to be her hands-on teacher. A lifetime of friendship with a
manwhore tells Lola that she should not get attached to James as a lover, as
tempting as his offer may be. Can she please her body while still protecting
her heart?

From the author of some of the highest rated erotic romance
on Smashwords comes this first look into a world of love, friendship...and
porn.

Find out where to download the Vice, Virtue & Video series
here:

http://biancagiovanni.com/where-to-download