Letting You Know (35 page)

Deacon
gave me a tender smile in the darkness of the car. A loud honk behind
us made us both jolt apart, laughing nervously as he drove past the
stop sign.

Feeling
the back of my neck, how my pulse was vibrating, I held my breath.
He's
right, I should just let things progress. Trying to decipher what's
okay or not okay in my mind is useless.

I'm
just terrified of feeling hopeful... only to have it turn out to be
exactly like it was before.

Rumbling
onto a side street, I motioned for Deacon to slow down. “It
should be coming up. She said it was number twelve.”

“
Here,
then,” he said excitedly, pulling the SUV up along the snowy
lawn of a squat white house. “Is this it? I expected an
apartment, I guess.”

“
Well,”
I mumbled, leaning forward so my nose touched the glass, “a lot
of houses have been converted into 'apartments' here for renting.
This is the place she said, but...”
But
it looks too nice. They couldn't have moved here, could they?

That
was when the front window blinds shifted, a familiar face peeking out
at us where we sat warily on the street.

It
was a face I knew inherently, the kind you could never forget.

It
was my father.

“
This
is it,” I breathed, gripping the handle. “This is their
home. Come on.”

We
had hardly gotten out of the vehicle before the front door opened,
the light pouring out onto the dark snow and illuminating my stunned
face.

In
a thick black jacket, a hat that covered most of his head, my dad
stomped out into the cold. He was upon me before I had a chance to
react.

Not
that a reaction was even possible.

“
Leah,”
he breathed, crushing me into him in a tight embrace. “God,
Leah.”

“
Dad.”
It was a single word, but my voice still cracked.

Is
this really happening?

Pushing
my face against his jacket, the pressure behind my eyelids finally
broke.
No,
I don't want to cry, stop.
Hot
liquid rolled down my cheeks, vanishing into my scarf.

In
my ears I heard the crunch of the snow crust breaking under more
feet. Dad let me go, but only so my mother could swoop in for a tight
hug.

This
is perfectly surreal.

She
let me go, holding me at arms length with watery eyes full of raw
joy. “I can't believe you're here,” she said.

“
Neither
can I.” It was an honest response.

“
Come
on,” she said, looking from me to Deacon. “Let's get you
both inside. It's freezing out here.”

The
southern boy had his arms full of our bags. I wondered how long I had
been standing there, hugging my parents, that he'd been able to
gather the luggage up from the trunk.

My
legs felt numb as we walked into the house, warm air tickling my
nose. It smelled like vanilla and coffee; nothing like the heavy
scent of tobacco I had been expecting.

Are
they not smoking anymore? How...?

“
Nice
to meet you guys,” Deacon said behind me after the door had
shut, sealing the cold wind away. Setting the bags down, he offered
his palm to my dad. “I'm Deacon, Deacon Day.”

“
Well,
that's a nice name,” my dad said, gripping my boyfriend's
fingers for a firm shake. “Call me Josh. So, you're the one
dating my daughter, hmn?”

“
Ah,
yes sir,” he nodded, flashing his best grin. “That I am.”

“
Here,
come sit down. You can leave those bags there for now,” Mom
said, unzipping her coat and hanging it over the couch.

They
all moved, removing winter coverings, chatting warmly as they
gathered on the furniture. I was stuck standing there by the door,
gazing around in a haze of disbelief.

If
I'm not careful, will I wake up? Will this all shatter around me?
The
apartment was cozy, adorable, even. The rugs were dark charcoal,
eggshell walls decorated in photos of myself and my sister.

I
could see the kitchen from where I stood in the main room, the
apparent parlor with the sofa and television taking up space.

How
big is this place?

“
Leah,
take your coat off and come sit down,” Dad urged me, sinking
deeply onto the couch himself. “It's freezing outside, isn't
it? Keep expecting more snow to fall.”

“
It
snowed pretty bad last night out where we were in Kentucky,”
Deacon commented.

“
Oh?”
My mom chuckled, wandering into the kitchen, her back to me as she
fiddled with the sink. “We got some the past couple days, but
they keep talking on the news about a big storm still coming.”

“
Getting
more than a white Christmas this year,” Deacon said. They all
laughed politely, all of them but me.

Standing
by the door, I still could only stare.

They're
just... having a normal conversation. What the hell happened in the
last two months? They look so different, healthier and happier.

I
feel like I'm going crazy.

“
Leah?”

Looking
up, I saw Mom staring at me from the stove. Feeling sluggish, I
blinked at her. “What?”

“
I
said, do you want some hot tea?”

“
I—sure,
okay.” Clenching my hands, I noticed the confused look she sent
me. The room felt quiet suddenly, everyone watching me with degrees
of worry.

Shaking
my boots free of snow, I slid them off, busying myself so I could
gather my thoughts. This was beyond a dream, I'd never have thought
up a situation like this before.

A
house, rented or not, no smell of smoke and they just have this aura
around them. This is the weirdest mystery.

Looking
up through my lashes, I caught Deacon smiling at my Dad, laughing at
something I hadn't heard.

Will
he think I'm a liar? That I made up everything I said about my past,
with this being all he has to go by?

No,
Deacon wouldn't think that. But I doubt he realizes how freaky this
is, either.

Peeling
off my coat and scarf, I hung them by the door. On stocking-clad
feet, I began walking around the room, peering into the doorways.
Besides the living room and kitchen, I found a restroom, and one
bedroom.

“
Here,”
Mom said at my elbow. Turning, I took the steaming mug from here,
glancing around the apartment again. “Do you like it?”

“
It's
really nice, Mom. But, I mean, how did you guys...?”

I
couldn't place it, the way her eyes flickered, as if they couldn't
manage to focus on me. It was like a sudden rush of uncertainty.

She
wants to tell me, I think, but she's also... scared? Unsure?
Something is obviously going on, though.

Breaking
the moment, Dad called out to us from over the back of the sofa.
“Come on, come sit down, Leah.”

Mom
spun away, gathering up the other mugs of tea to bring to the men.
Following her, I shook my head when Deacon made room for me between
him and my father on the sofa. “I'll sit on the floor, it's
fine.”

Folding
my legs under me, I settled on the plush material. In my hands, the
mug of tea was almost forgotten.

I
couldn't let myself think of anything but the amazing scene in front
of me.

Deacon,
and my dad, sitting together. Just... sitting there. When my mother
joined them, sinking in the middle, the spot that had been meant for
me, I bit back a laugh.

Yeah,
this is too much.

“
So,”
Dad sighed, bending forward until his elbows rested on his knees.
“Tell us, how have you been?”

“
Me?”
I asked, blinking. “How have—how have I been, Dad? No, I
want to know how
you
guys have been.” Crinkling my eyebrows, I gave a meaningful
look around the room.

Tell
me about how this happened!

My
parents shared a look, Mom hiding behind her steaming drink. “Another
time. Sweety, we're really happy to see you. We want to know what
you've been up to. Tell us how California is? Or how,” he
added, clapping Deacon on the shoulder, “you met
this
guy.”

Seeing
the blossom of pink travel across Deacon's cheeks brought a helpless
smile to me. As weird as all of this was, I couldn't pretend it
wasn't exactly what I had always wished for.

Not
even Owen got this kind of welcome.

Tugging
at the tea bag in my mug, swirling it around, I chuckled. My prickly
barrier was falling, defenses crumbling in the wake of how much I
just
wanted
to enjoy the attention. How nice it felt to have anyone, my parents
especially, seem so interested in my relationship.

Not
picking it apart, not questioning like there's something wrong. They
like him already, I can tell. They don't even know him, but...

“
It's
a long story,” I said, taking a small sip of the sweet water.
“Do you guys remember Vanessa?”

“
'Course
we do,” Mom laughed. “You and her were always running
around, drawing little comics together and making up adventures.
Didn't she move to... she moved somewhere, right?”

A
flash of frustration welled up in me, a reminder that what had been
such an important time in my life had meant so little to anyone else.

Tugging
my hair, I felt a dull pain. “She left to attend college in
California, yes. Her parents ended up moving to Nevada, actually,
soon after. To be closer.”

“
Oh,”
Mom whispered.

“
Anyway,”
Deacon cut in, drawing every eye in the room to him so smoothly,
“Vanessa and I went to college together. We both stayed out in
California when we graduated.”