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The job she'd always dreamed of, she thought. Right there, landing in her lap.

But was it the life she really wanted?

Adam showed up at the Sea Star at eight o'clock that night, just like he'd promised Casey.

He hadn't crashed at Fezza's--he hadn't even gone over there. He just didn't want to be around the awkwardness and the pain of seeing Tessa pack and leave. Instead, he'd actually rented a room at a North Bend motel. He knew that if he went home, they'd talk, and he'd do something stupid, something desperate.

Like, say, ask her not to go.

But what right did he have? She wanted this. Everything about their friendship had been focused around her getting the respect that she deserved and moving ahead in her job. She had that right.

So why do I keep feeling like I'm getting screwed?

He shook his head. That morning, he'd gone to work, just like always. He'd done his job. And he'd come home to the strangely quiet house that still smelled like almonds and cinnamon and Tessa, and he'd felt hollow as an empty bottle.

But he was still dressed up--well, dressed up enough. And he was going out to dinner, just like he'd said.

Why should he feel guilty?

"You look good in that jacket," Casey said, walking up to him. "You'd probably look better without the frown."

He realized he was scowling, and quickly shook his head, trying to shake off his attitude, as well. "It's good to see you," he said, and it was. She'd had her honey blonde hair cut--there weren't fly-aways, like Tessa usually had. It was perfectly straight and the edge was razor sharp.

"Like it?" she said, doing a little spin.

"You look very...New York," he said finally. And she did. Very polished, very put together.

Almost too perfect, and consequently, somehow unreal. The complete opposite of Tessa, he realized.

She frowned. "Is that bad?"

"No," he said quickly, then walked up to the host. "Um..."

"Reservation for two," Casey said quickly, a bit preemptory. The host took them to their table. She strode ahead, her legs looking miles long in the deep red high heels she was wearing. Tessa would probably kill herself in heels like that, he thought, then winced.

Stop thinking about Tessa!

"Rough day at work?" she asked, the picture of sympathy.

"Nah. Well, a bit." He shrugged. "Not important, really. How'd the interview go?"

"Well, I think." She smiled brightly. "Wouldn't it be weird? Moving back here to Seattle."

"After all you did to get away," he said, then stopped. "Sorry. I didn't mean that to be snarky. I mean, you just really wanted to go to a bigger city."

"I'm realizing that Seattle is a big city," she said. "Big and special. One of those cases where I didn't know what I was missing until it was gone." She shot him a pointed look. "Do you know what I mean?"

He didn't even know what time Tessa's flight back was. He wondered absently if that guy from Impresario was taking Tessa out to dinner--schmoozing her, getting her to stay in San José.
You'll love it here, blah blah blah! Smooth flirty bullshit!

He grimaced. Maybe even something like: 
Why don't I show you around a bit more myself?

He suddenly felt like punching someone.

"Can I get you a drink?" the waiter asked smoothly.

"Absolutely," Adam said, then realized he was perhaps a little too vehement. "I'll have a beer...whatever you recommend." If he hadn't been driving, it'd be something stronger.

"I'm feeling like a nice dry white wine," she said, then spent a few minutes chatting back and forth with the waiter. Casey really did look good, he thought.

A year ago--hell, a few months ago--he'd have sold almost everything he owned to have this chance with her. Now, they were having dinner together. In the restaurant they'd had their four year anniversary, he now remembered----a place he'd planned on proposing around Valentine's Day.

Now, he just wanted to go home and play
Call of Duty
 until he was cross-eyed and passed out.

They ordered dinner. "I was glad that you called me," Casey said, toying with her wine with perfectly manicured fingernails. "You wanted to see me for a reason, though, right?"

Right. The bookstore. Just because Tessa was leaving didn't mean he wanted to leave the sisters high and dry. "You were going to bring something, right? Some package?"

She looked surprised. "Wait, what?"

"The publicity stuff. For the sisters, the bookstore," he repeated.

"You were serious about that?"

He stared at her for a second, puzzled. "Why would I make that up?"

"I thought..." she looked at him, stunned. "You know. That you just wanted to see me. That you missed me."

He still stared. "Well, I did miss you," he said.

"I missed you, too."

"But those girls are going to get evicted if they don't get promotion."

She sighed. Then she pulled out her phone, tapping away. "I emailed you the files I have on some possible news targets and newspaper contacts I have," she said. "Happy now? Can you perk up, so we can enjoy our meal...and focus on other things?"

"You just emailed it?" He frowned. "Why didn't you do that before?"

She huffed out a breath. "I forgot how obtuse you were," she said.

"Right," he snapped back. "Listen, you told me to be here. I told you what I needed help with. Why are you so bent all of a sudden?"

The waiter was in the process of delivering their food and he remained placid even as he hastily put their plates down and fled.

"I really thought you'd be different by now," she said, stabbing at her broiled tilapia with her fork. "You never come out and
say
anything. You always hedge and haw. You didn't ask me out--you kept hanging out, and being there, and waiting. I had to ask
you
out."

"I was respecting you," he argued.

"No, you were being afraid," she corrected. "You didn't even ask me to move in with you when you bought that house, even though you still stayed with me all the time, and I was practically living there."

He blinked. "I was waiting."

"Waiting! That's all you do," she said. "You never just come out and
ask
. You just wait for somebody else to make the move. That's why I moved to New York. I was doing everything, for both of us. You didn't care about getting ahead, or moving forward with me. You were
stuck
."

"So why the hell are you having dinner with me now?" he said, not caring that other diners were starting to stare.

"Because I thought you were finally going to man up and ask me to stay!"

It was like she'd slapped him. He pushed a little back from the table...and then looked at her.
Really
looked at her. He saw the tension, and the impatience. Most of all, he saw desperation.

And that's when it hit him.

"Oh," he said, quietly. "So that's how it is, huh?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You aren't moving back because of me," he said. "You got fired."

She went suddenly still, like a rabbit sensing a hawk. "I...I don't..."

"You got fired, and you're having a hard time getting another job in New York," he said. "So you're moving home. You're not getting offers. You're looking for a job." His eyes narrowed and he kept going. "You keep fiddling with your left hand--ring finger. Like you're used to fiddling with a loose ring there. So what, you were engaged?"

Now her mouth dropped open. "I was not."

He sighed. Then he picked up his phone, dialing. "Hello, Mrs. Sanderson? Hi, yeah. It's Adam. Yes, it has been a while."

"You're calling my mother?" she hissed.

"I just wanted to ask--did you know that Casey was engaged out in New York?"

She reached over, grabbing the phone out of his hand and shutting it off. "It wasn't that serious," she said. "It was quick and stupid."

"And now it's over." It was like looking at the project board at work--click, and he made the connection. "He worked with you. That's why you got fired."

The angry red blush told him he was on the right track.

"So you're going back to Seattle, on your own terms. You'll show him," Adam said, and that hollow feeling came back. "Not just with the job, but bouncing back with a new guy. Or rather, an
old
guy, who waited for you. Just that frickin' easy."

"It wasn't like that," she said. "He treated me like shit, Adam. It made me realized how much I had with you. How much I lost."

He closed his eyes for a second. Tessa wouldn't do this to him. She would never have done this to him. She'd never lied, and even if she left, she'd never come back and play him this way, just to soothe her own hurt feelings.

And she wouldn't let him sit around, either. She wouldn't push him to be something he wasn't. She liked the same things he did......except for things they didn't, like
Sherlock
 or
Mystics
. And she'd shared them. Just like she'd played
Skyrim
 when he'd shared it with her.

She cared about him
for who he was
. Not for what she could change him into, or what he could do for her.

He'd been an idiot.

"I want you back, Adam," Casey said, quietly. "It'll be just like you wanted it to be."

"Sorry," he said, standing up and leaving money for the bill on the table. "But it really can't."

"But I love you!"

He saw the tearful, pained expression.

"I'm really sorry," he repeated. "But I'm in love with someone else."

CHAPTER 12

Adam stood at SeaTac Airport, looking at all the arriving flights from San José. He'd had about eight cups of coffee to make up for his lack of sleep the night before, but he figured he'd probably be shaking anyway, even without caffeine jitters.

He'd been there a few hours, hoping she was actually coming back tonight. He had tried to call, but her phone was off. He wasn't sure what he was going to say, but he had to say
something
. And he really, really wanted to say it to her as soon as possible.

When he saw Tessa walking out of the gate, looking determined, he felt a huge surge of relief, followed by a cannonball of adrenaline and nerves.
Of course, she always looked determined,
 he thought to himself, smiling. She was wearing San José business casual--khaki slacks, white shirt, long sweater--as well as her customary ponytail. He knew the minute she saw him, because her eyes widened.

"Adam?" She said with obvious surprise. "What are you doing here?"

"Waiting for you," he said.

"I was going to get a shuttle..." She stammered. "I thought you were, um, out."

"Yeah, well, I've been waiting all day and I couldn't wait another minute, so I figured I'd catch you here." He took a deep breath. "And I wanted to talk to you as soon as possible, before you made any decisions."

"But I've already..."

"Just...please," he interrupted. "Hear me out, okay?"

Throngs of people moved around them, like currents around a rock. He didn't care.

"I had dinner with Casey. And it made me realize some things."

Her face fell. "You don't have to tell me. I'm not basing my decision on...whatever it was we have. Had," she corrected herself.

"
Have
," he said, his voice emphatic. "That's what I'm trying to tell you."

He framed her face in his hands, then leaned down and kissed her--firm, insistent, pleading. After a second, he heard her drop her roller bag as she wrapped her arms around him, pulling him tighter. Grateful, almost delirious, he melted into her.

After what felt like the world's longest moment, he heard applause. He pulled back to see a small crowd had gathered. "That's how you do it!" an old codger said, with a creaky laugh.

"I'm next!" a girl said.

He felt his cheeks heat, and Tessa smiled sheepishly as they moved off to one side. "I had to tell you that I'm falling in love with you. First, I just thought you were a way to help make mortgage, when you first moved in. Then I realized you were a good roomie--and really, a good friend. Then something just happened, and I found myself looking forward to seeing you at work and at lunch and having dinner with you, and even watching TV and then we slept together and it was like, Jesus, I found it, the complete package. This is what I've been looking for my whole life."

She stared at him.

"I know you're looking for more," he said quickly. "I respect that. You want to be respected, and you deserve to have the job you want. I don't want to be the guy who stood in the way of that. And I thought if I just let you go, you wouldn't resent me, and I wouldn't be
that guy
...the guy who asks you to give up your career so you can be with your boyfriend." He paused. "Incidentally, I'd like to be your boyfriend."

She let out a surprised giggle.

"Right. We'll put a pin in that one. But what I meant to say was, if you've decided to go to San José, I'll wait. We can do the long distance thing, if you're okay with it. It's a short flight," he said, as much to remind himself as her.

"You'd fly down to San José?"

"Or fly you up here," he said. "Absolutely. And I've never really done phone sex before, or sexting, or whatever, but I'm willing to try."

Now her giggle was a full blown laugh. "Thank you?"

He stroked her face, her hair. "You're worth it. And I'm not just going to quietly let you go. I'm fighting for this one, damn it."

"That's very...forceful of you," she said. "Very alpha."

He froze.

Her smile was like the sun. "Is it bad that I find that kinda sexy?"

He kissed her again, and felt her smile against his lips.

"I called them tonight, before my plane took off. I turned down the job.'