Lex (Unconventional Hearts) (36 page)

In the past years we lived together, we
rarely had sex. She did her thing and I took care of Emma and me. I
stayed with her until Emma was ready to start school full time. I
knew appendix J would be enforced when going for custody. So I
wanted to make sure Emma could make her own cereal and dress
herself before I left Melissa, because I can’t be there on those
weekends she has her and I don’t want my daughter to starve. If I
had left her when Emma was still in diapers she would have no doubt
came home with shit in her diaper and rashes so bad I would have
probably taken her to the ER. It wasn’t worth testing my theory for
my own benefit of being with Lex, not when my daughter’s health and
wellness was at stake. I know some may think; ‘Well Gage you could
have petitioned the courts to not allow visitation. Or turned her
in.’ That’s very true, I could have, but what good would that have
done me if my daughter was dead because she’d drowned in the
bathtub when her mom was outside smoking a cigarette. Or fell down
the stairs because she couldn’t walk down them without assistance.
The fear was too great to be selfish about. I worry enough as it
is. That’s why I keep my phone on me at all times and Emma has her
own personal kid’s cell phone that I stuff into her backpack only
on the weekends she’s with her mom. I’m frantic when it comes to
her.

“Gage. Gage. Hello Gage. Come in Gage.” Lex
is talking to me, and I peer down at her, my body still holding her
to the ground. The sadness and anger on her face has dried up and
shifted into one of great concern.

“Sorry.” I roll off of her and onto my back
into the grass, staring at the night sky. It’s clear tonight and
the stars are twinkling even more so. It’s breathtaking.

This time she sits up in her jeans and coral
fashion tank top and sits beside me. Her hand resting on my chest.
“Talk to me.” She coaxes in the gentlest tone.

“Why should I? I bring you here to show you
my life, to have you with me. I could have gone a few days without
seeing you since I already told the guys I’d come this weekend. But
instead, I gathered up enough courage to ask you to come
along….”

She giggles. “You didn’t ask me. But that’s
okay. I’m glad I came.”

“No you’re not. You just told me you wanted
to leave.” I blurt, I know it’s a little rude to rub it in her
face. It’s true though. If she only knew how hard, it was for me to
ask her in the first place. I don’t want to pressure her into
anything. I don’t want to force her into things she’s not
comfortable doing. I keep telling myself that she wouldn’t let me
do those things if she wasn’t ready. She’s pushed me away before. I
just pray that she
does
push me away or tell me to stop when
it becomes too much for her to handle. I know I can’t handle stuff
from my past because of my mother. Like drinking beer, I can’t do
it. It’s a mental thing for me. I know she has way more vices then
I do because she’s experienced even more brutality than I could
even fathom.

“I know I said that, and I’m sorry. I’ve only
ever kissed two men in my life. And I’ve surly never kissed anybody
in front of someone else. Let alone a group of somebodies.”

“Two other than me? That’s all.” She’s a very
talented kisser. I would have guessed she’s kissed way more than
that. I always forget that even though she is angelically
beautiful, she’s not experienced sexually. It’s very hard to wrap
my head around. When you look at her, you’d think every man has
thrown themselves at the mercy of her feet and begged to be used as
her sex slave.
Lady
between her legs or not, most men could
care less because of how unfathomably pure and delicately feminine
she is.

“No…not two other than you. Two,
including
you. Just you and Brian. I never kissed before I
met him. I was nervous about a boy finding out about lady and
making fun of me. I didn’t want to feel the shame. I felt enough
shame my whole life, not being what my father expected me to be. I
couldn’t bear another blow to my already frail self-esteem. But
that’s neither here nor there. What’s wrong? What’s on your
mind?”

See! This is why she is perfect. This is why
I am in love with her. She opens up to me for a moment, just a
small peek into her past from her own eyes. Then she turns the
story into making it about me and making sure, I’m okay. Selfish
women like Melissa aren’t like that. That’s what makes Lex, even
more of a precious gem.

“I was thinking about Melissa, my ex-wife.
Emma’s with her this weekend and it kills me to have here there.”
Lex starts to rub small comforting circles on my chest and down my
stomach.

“Okay… keep going.”

“Melissa is an awful mom. You wouldn’t know
about that because your mom is great. But I feel like Emma is going
to get the same childhood as I did. That she will have the nutso
mother who could care less about her. It’s true. But I’m trying to
be here and make up for the lack of mother she has. Melissa isn’t a
mom. She’s barely a human being. And because of the courts, I have
to allow her to go there every other weekend. When Emma comes home
I do a physical check on her. To make sure she hasn’t been
physically harmed. I’m scared shitless. That’s why it helps when I
come here on the weekends she’s with Melissa. If something happens,
I won’t be there, but my sister Tasha is on call and so is my dad,
should I need them if something arises. If I don’t stay away, I
feel like I might be stupid and go over there to check up on her
and flip out when I see the tiniest thing I find inappropriate.
Once, when I dropped her off, I found an opened condom wrapper
jammed in the doorframe. I lost it of course. Took Emma away from
there and Lincoln had to come over to my apartment and retrieve
Emma because I was in breach of our court orders. Unless the parent
is participating in lewd acts in front of the child, it doesn’t
matter if there is an opened condom wrapper. I knew that. I just
didn’t give a fuck. ”

Sighing, I watch Lex as she’s attentively
listens to me and continues her gentle caress of my chest and
stomach. If feels cathartic to finally voice my inner most feelings
to someone other than my sister. It feels even better to open up to
the woman I love, while we sit outside in the middle of spring,
with nothing but the incandescent moonlight to bathe her pale
supple skin. I love the way it shines off her long dark hair.
Astoundingly beautiful is only a fraction of how I view my Lex.

“I would have been angry too. I’m upset just
thinking about it. I understand your frustration, and I know Emma’s
not mine. Even though I do love her, I wish she had a better mother
too. You said you were having problems with Melissa yesterday. What
was that about? Same stuff or something different?”

“Emma told her about you and her and staying
the night. And about making me breakfast in bed. It was the first
thing Emma shared when she went to her house. I didn’t think about
talking to Emma about it beforehand. I should have known she would
announce it to the world. It was the topic of her show and tell
last week. She carried a My Little Pony to school and told her
class all about you. Her teacher Mrs. Hammer called me the next day
to congratulate me on having a positive role model in Emma’s life
and how much happier she’s been. To say you’ve made an impression
on her is putting it mildly. So, Melissa as you know is aware of my
feelings. She knows about the obsession…”

By painfully tugging my happy trail through
my shirt, she shuts me up, “Please don’t call me an obsession.”

“Sorry, she knows about my love for you. That
better?”

I search her face and she smiles and bows her
head. “Yes. Much.” She agrees and continues her sweet caresses up
and down my body, filling me with warmth.

“As I’m sure you can understand, Melissa even
though she doesn’t know you, doesn’t particularly care for you. It
has nothing to do with you and who you are, it’s because of me and
my feelings. Our daughter spouting happy things about you to her
shitty mother basically caused my ex-wife to lash out at Emma and
me. Leaving Emma a bawling mess and me so pissed I wanted to kill
somebody.”

Lex gasps, covering her mouth and scoots
away. “I’m so sorry. I’m so, so, so, so sorry.” She cries.

Shit!

I sit up and reach for her, grabbing ahold of
her hand so she can’t run. “Lex, no. This isn’t about you. This is
about my ex-wife being a bitch. Not about you, sweetheart. Not you
at all.”

“It is too.” She cries, utterly devastated.
“Emma got emotionally scarred because of
me
. Why do I let
people I love get hurt? I hurt my father by not being the son he
wanted. I hurt my mother because I wanted to be a girl and my dad
took it out on her. I hurt my mom and Roni, because I thought I
loved Brian when I first went to live with him. I hurt everybody.
If I had just stayed away from Brian, you wouldn’t have seen my
case. Emma would still have a mother and father married, and I
wouldn’t be so messed up.”

My Angel is killing me. My heart is ripping
down the center, weeping for her. None of this is her fault. I wish
she understood that.

“No. Lex. I want you. You can’t change the
past. And yes, Emma is sad for a little while. Do I like it? No. I
was a raving lunatic last night. Or I would have come over. I
couldn’t let you see me like that. Emma is better because of you.
You make us both happy. Stop this self-deprecating nonsense.” I
crawl over to her, pull her protectively in my arms and lay us down
into the grass to stare at the stars.

“Can you please stop fighting this?” I
whisper.

“I don’t know how. I feel like you deserve
better than what I can give.” She’s so wrong about that one. It’s
quite the opposite. She’s too good for me. If only she’d hold that
much value in herself.

Folding her fingers into my mine, we hold
hands. “If you can give me yourself, that’s all I want. Baggage,
pain, insecurities, I want it all. I just want
you
.”

“I want you too.” She whispers so lightly to
herself, I’m not sure if she knows I heard it or not. Either way,
it doesn’t matter. We are making progress. And that’s the first
step to our forever.

Chapter Twenty-Three

Sunday

Lex

“Wake up beautiful.” A sexy voice draws me
out of my slumber, as his warm hand cascades down my cheek. “Does
my Angel want some breakfast? I have a
surprise
for
you.”

The way he says surprise has my mouth
watering, turning my thoughts to something other than a
normal
breakfast. If that breakfast includes Gage, naked,
with his thick manhood stuffed into my mouth. Then yes, that would
be the best breakfast of my life. Listen to me; I’m such a naughty
girl. I don’t think I’ve ever been a naughty anything.

Opening my eyes, I blink to focus on his
gorgeous smiling face. His eyes are sleepy, his chin stubble is
even longer and his eyes look brighter this morning. Happy
brighter.

“Well hello there, my woman. Rise and shine.”
He kisses my cheek and pecks me on the lips. “Time to wake up and
come to the kitchen.”

I frown. “I thought I was having
breakfast
in bed. You know the kind that includes sausage.”
Oh my God. I just said what I was thinking. Naughty Lex. What has
gotten into me?

“Sausage, huh?” He winks, raising his sexy
brow, and stands. Opening up the button on his fleece pajama pants
he pulls out his long succulent hard cock through the opening. “Is
this the kind of sausage you were referring to?”

Shyly I nod, biting my lip, unable to break
my stare. It’s
that
sexy.

“I’ll make you a deal. I’ll feed you a little
bit of my pre-come, if you let me have some of yours and then we
will both go into the kitchen. They’re already waiting for us.”

“Won’t that torture us? I’m already turned
on. So are you.” I point to his erection. I don’t like his idea. If
I’m hard, that means people could see her and tucking her erect is
almost impossible.

“Yes, it will. But it’s that or nothing. If I
ravage you now, we will be in here too long.”

“Fine.” I huff and stick out my tongue. “Feed
me.”

Chuckling with a heartwarming smile, he pumps
his shaft in long languid pulls, producing a pool of silken
pre-come to ooze, he presses his meaty head to my lips, and I lick
the slick goodness into my mouth with a soft moan.

“God I love having you touch me.” He groans,
and pumps his shaft once more, producing another bead on his head.
I lick it and he pulls back, tucking his hard-on back into his
pants.

Throwing off the covers, I look down. I
completely forgot what I was wearing or how I got here. Last night
I fell asleep talking to Gage about our lives, as we rested
romantically under the stars. He carried me inside, my arms draped
over his shoulders. I remember momentarily waking up but I don’t
remember him stripping me nude.

Leaning over the edge of the bed, he helps
himself to lady, and swirls his tongue around her, groaning in his
throat as he sucks all the pre-come from her with a wicked smile.
Igniting my lust filled desires tenfold, and my sac aches, wanting
him to bring me to a sensational release.

“All done.” He stands walks over to a dresser
in his bedroom and pulls out a deep purple silk nightgown. It’s
short, heart neckline with thin spaghetti straps. Something I would
never wear because it dips to low in the back and that will show my
scars. In his walk-in closet, he retrieves a matching deep purple
silk robe, now that I can do. It’s perfect.

“I got these for you.”

“Why? Because you’ve ruined numerous sets of
my expensive pajamas and panties? And where are my clothes?”

“You’re not wearing your clothes; this is
breakfast in
our
cabin. Wear the pajamas. And yes, I’m
sorry, but taking the time to remove the thin fabric is hardly
worth it. It’s more fun ripping it off of you.”