Lexington Connection (8 page)

“This is Diana. Have I called at a bad time?”

“I can’t hear you. Just a minute.” Then as an aside, “Honey, go ask Aunt Irene if she’ll look for your suitcase in the front closet.” Then the noise faded. “I’m back, this is Jessie.”

Diana’s heart sank. “I’m sorry, Jessie. Obviously I’ve called at a bad time. This is Diana.”

“Diana! Are you here in town?” Jessie didn’t sound exactly eager.

“Yes. But it’s okay. I just wanted to see if you were available. You sound busy. It’s all right.”

“No. Let me think. I’m sorry, Diana. It’s—it’s just been a madhouse here. Let me think.” And then there was a distraction again. “Harry, I’m so glad you could come by. No, I’ll be there in a minute, need to take care of this. Yes, I understand.”

Jessie came back to the phone. “I’m sorry, Diana.”

Diana gave up any ideas she had. “No, I’m sorry. You’re clearly into something. Don’t bother with me. We just didn’t connect this time. I’ll call again when I’m back.” She was already tearing this page out of her little black book.

“No, Diana, please, wait, let me think. Are you there?”

“Yes, I’m here.”

“Where are you?”

“I’m at the Hilton.”

Jessie took a deep breath. “Yes, it is a very bad time, but I really need to see you. Can I come by?”

“Of course you can. You know you can.”

“I don’t know when it will be; it might be very late.” Her breathing was heavy, she sounded distressed. “Maybe it’ll be too late.”

“You come when you can. I’ll be here. Room Two Sixteen.”

“Diana?”

“Yes?”

“I’m glad you came.” Then there was some shouting and Jessie was distracted again. “I’ve got to go. It may be late, but I’ll be by.” The connection was broken.

Diana stared at the phone as she hung it up. Maybe this calling wasn’t a good idea. She went to the window. This wasn’t what she expected. Jessie sounded upset, hassled. She shook her head. She had been lucky every other time, Jessie had been readily available. Now? She didn’t sound pleased to hear her. It sounded like there was a party going on. Yet Jessie had said she really needed to see her. In spite of everything going on, she
needed
to see Diana. But what was going on? Diana didn’t like things happening she didn’t know about. A good part of her, the logical part, said it was time to go, no matter what she had told Jessie, it was time to check out, hit the road, not come back. The other part, the part that responded to Jessie, couldn’t do it. Jessie said she needed her. She couldn’t run out on Jessie and that’s what it would be if she left now. She would have to play this out. She could leave immediately after.

The hour grew late. Diana ordered room service, not daring to leave the room. She had told Jessie she would be there. She ordered a movie and then couldn’t watch it. She paced, her imagination going all sorts of directions as she reined it in again and again and again.

Midnight came but no Jessie. Diana tried not to get angry; Jessie had said it might be very late. She twiddled her thumbs, lay down on the couch, dozed off and jerked awake. She had only been asleep for ten minutes. She couldn’t have missed her in that time.

She’s getting too close, she ended up telling herself. This isn’t just fun and games now. I’m waiting on her, and I’m worried about her and that’s not supposed to happen. I’m supposed to come to town and if she’s here, she’s here; and if she’s not, then maybe next time. So why am I pacing, waiting, worried?

Just when she was convincing herself she needed to pack and get the hell out of Dodge, there was a light rap on the door. She raced to the door but she hadn’t lost sense entirely. She checked through the peephole to see Jessie, jeans, white shirt, long raincoat, complete with sunglasses. Then as Jessie waited for Diana to unlock the door, she removed the sunglasses. Her face was swollen, her eyes red, dark circles under her eyes. Diana couldn’t get the door open quickly enough.

“Jessie! What’s wrong?”

“You’re still here. I was afraid it was too late.” Jessie stood back. She looked at Diana as if at a stranger. She shook her head. “I shouldn’t have come. I’m sorry.” She turned to go and Diana caught her arm.

“No, you’re not leaving, Jessie. What’s wrong? What’s happened?” Jessie stood there, frozen, not turning back. Diana tugged on her arm. “Jessie, come sit down,” she implored in a more gentle voice. “Come talk to me. You look like you need to sit down in a quiet place. Come in with me.”

Jessie rubbed her face. “Maybe for a little bit.” She allowed herself to be drawn into Diana’s rooms.

Diana locked the door without releasing Jessie’s arm. “Let me take your coat. It must still be raining out.” She hung up the coat, put her arm around Jessie and led her to the sofa. She picked up the television remote, switched the channel from the action movie to soft soothing jazz. Jessie sat down without any awareness. “Do you need something to drink? Have you eaten?”

“That would be nice. I think so, I don’t remember. There was so much food.”

Diana went to the wet bar, poured two drinks, the cold 7-Up Jessie preferred and then a straight shot. She looked like she needed it. She brought them both over, held them both out. Jessie reached for the straight shot, brought it to her lips slowly, uncertain, unseeing. Then she took it straight down, closing her eyes, shuddering as it went down. She handed the glass back to Diana.

Diana set the soda down on the table beside the sofa. She sat down beside Jessie, sitting on one leg, half facing Jessie. She took hold of her hand. “Honey, what happened?” She brushed Jessie’s hair back. It had been recently cut, neatly trimmed. She stroked Jessie’s face. “Talk to me.”

“You just get to town?”

“Yes.”

“Did you go to the bar?” Jessie rested her head back on the sofa.

“No, I came right here.” She watched as Jessie tried to speak, started several times but nothing came out. Whatever it was, it had hit Jessie hard. Diana decided she would have to be more direct. She came up on her knees beside Jessie, straddled her so she could look into her face. She slid her hands around Jessie’s jawline, lifting her head. “Tell me,” she commanded quietly. “Did something happen to Nicki?”

“No, Nicki’s fine.” Jessie closed her eyes, her head limp in Diana’s hands, not resisting, letting Diana’s fingers massage the back of her neck.

“Where is Nicki tonight?”

“She’s over at Aunt Irene’s.”

“That’s who I heard you talking about on the phone,” Diana remembered. Jessie nodded. “Honey,” she said cautiously, guessing. There could only be one reason why Jessie could be so shattered and Nicki at her aunt’s. “Did your dad have another heart attack?”

Jessie’s face crumpled but she nodded.

“Did he not make it this time?”

Biting her lip, Jessie shook her head, and she began to cry.

“Oh, honey, I’m so sorry.” She pulled Jessie to her, wrapped her arms around her as she felt Jessie’s arms encircle her. Jessie cried, breaking down completely. She clung to Diana and Diana held her, rocking her, holding her, brushing back her hair, making soothing sounds. “Shhhh,” she soothed after a while. Slowly Jessie stopped crying but Diana felt it was more exhaustion than anything else. “Do you want to tell me what happened?”

“Happened Monday,” Jessie choked out. “Called me. He was at the horse farm. Couldn’t get there in time.” She looked up at Diana, stricken. “I didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye, to tell him I loved him.”

“He knew you loved him,” Diana reassured her. “You’ve told him every day. You took care of him. He knew.”

Jessie shook her head. “I met the ambulance at the hospital. He was already gone.”

“Oh, honey, that must have been so hard.”

Jessie closed her eyes, losing some of her composure again. “Not as hard as telling Nicki. I don’t even know what I told her.” Diana slowly rocked Jessie, feeling Jessie rest against her. “The funeral was just yesterday.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t come into town earlier.”

“I couldn’t have seen you yesterday; so much was going on.” Jessie rested her head on Diana’s shoulder. “There was so much to do, so many people. It’s been a nightmare.” She relaxed a little. “I’m so tired but I needed to see you.”

“I would have waited for you, dear.” Diana could feel Jessie’s exhaustion. “You said Nicki was at her aunt’s?” Jessie nodded. “So there’s no reason for you to go home, is there?”

“No.”

“Then why don’t I put you to bed?” Diana said quietly. “You’re exhausted. You need to sleep. You go home, you’ll be alone. You don’t need that tonight.”

“That’s what I told everyone, that I needed to be alone. Otherwise they wouldn’t go away.” Jessie was relaxing without even realizing.

“Yes, you needed to get away.”

“Nicki may call.”

“She has your cell phone number. You brought it, didn’t you?”

“Of course.”

“Then let me put you to bed. I’ll hold you. You can sleep. I’ll wake you in the morning so you can be at home when Nicki comes home.”

Diana stepped backward off the loveseat and pulled Jessie to her feet. Jessie was pliant; Diana led her into the bedroom. Jessie stood unmoving beside the bed, her eyes closed. With tender care, Diana undressed her.

“Bathroom,” Jessie said in a tired voice. Diana pointed her toward the bathroom and Jessie obediently padded her way. Diana pulled out a nightshirt, knowing it would be a little short for her. Any other time she would think it was alluring; tonight, she just wanted to tuck her in.

Jessie returned, drooping with exhaustion. Diana helped her into the nightshirt, pulled back the covers for Jessie to crawl in. Jessie stretched out, sighing as she relaxed against the fresh sheets, her arms stretching out and under the pillows. Diana sat on the bed beside her.

“When did you sleep last?” She brushed Jessie’s hair back.

“Ahhh, I slept some Wednesday night, but not much. Nicki slept with me; she cried herself to sleep.” She reached out for Diana.

“Who was there for you?” Diana asked rhetorically.

Jessie squeezed her hand. “I was hoping you would come.”

Diana smiled as she examined Jessie’s fingers. “I guess you called me.”

“And you came.” She sighed again and her breathing evened out, signifying she had fallen asleep, still holding onto Diana’s hand.

Diana watched over Jessie, the light from the bathroom shining on her enough that Diana could see how exhausted she was, how she relaxed as she slept, her hand reaching out for Diana’s. Every time Diana tried to withdraw her hand, Jessie gripped it tighter until finally Diana gave up. The light was still on in the other room, the television gave the soft murmur of modern jazz. She couldn’t leave Jessie but she wasn’t sure she could sleep either. She bent down and kissed Jessie’s shoulder.

Watching over her that night, worried about her, she slowly came to the realization that she loved this woman. At some point, sometime when Diana hadn’t even noticed, she had crossed the point where Jessie was just a fine contact for bed sports. Diana was truly concerned about what happened to her, wanted to take care of her, wanted to be with her.

Whoa,
she caught herself.
This is not good.
At the same time, as she watched Jessie sleep, holding on to her, she could think,
This is wonderful.

***

“I’ll be fine,” Jessie assured Diana the next day. She covered Diana’s hands holding her face. “I had a good night’s sleep, thanks to you.” She kissed Diana lightly on the lips. “Don’t worry about me.”

Easier said than done
. Diana searched Jessie’s face. Jessie did look better; the circles under her eyes weren’t as dark. She still looked like she had cried a lot, but the exhaustion was gone. Diana released Jessie, glancing at the clock, going around the room, gathering her belongings.

“I’m so sorry I can’t stay,” Diana apologized for what must have been the umpteenth time. “I’ve got a deadline this trip. I’ve carved out as much time as I dare.” She shook her head. “I hate leaving you.”

“Oh, and has it been easy every other time?” There was a twinkle back in Jessie’s eyes. She grabbed Diana’s hand and pulled her close. Standing together, face to face, holding hands, Jessie turned serious. “You don’t know what last night meant,” she whispered. “I know we’ve had great sex every other time, and we didn’t do anything last night. That wasn’t the point. I could sleep because I knew you were there. I had someone who was there for me. I didn’t have to ask or explain. That was important. I’ve never had that before.”

Diana glanced at the clock again. “I’ve got to go.” She pulled away only to come back, distraught as she ever remembered being.

Jessie grabbed her by the shoulders, shook her slightly, held her firmly. “Diana, I’ll be fine. You got me through the bad part.” She caressed Diana’s face. “You’ve got to be careful.” Diana gave her a startled look, caught her breath. “You worry like this and I might think your heart is involved.”

Diana let out a sigh of relief. “Yeah.” She pulled herself together. “I can see how you might get that idea.” She ran her fingers over Jessie’s lips. “I hate leaving you.”

“Go,” Jessie said. “Things to do, places to go.”

Diana left, but leaving Jessie standing alone in that hotel parking lot was the hardest thing she had ever done, and it was miles and miles before she could get the image out of her mind.

***

“Something happen in Lexington?” Margaret asked. “You seem—I don’t know, unsettled.”

“Didn’t go the way I planned, some things came up.” Diana passed it off. “Everything quiet here?”

“Pretty much. It’s beginning to be noticed how much you’re gone.”

“I like to travel. Business is picking up.”

“Being predictable is dangerous.”

Diana paused. “I’m careful.”

“Be very careful,” Margaret warned.

Making connections was even harder after that. It didn’t matter. Diana understood family responsibilities and obligations. Those virtues had been hammered into her since childhood. What puzzled her most was her own behavior. Her contacts with Jessie had become even briefer than she would have thought possible and still she came back. All she wanted was to see Jessie, be with her for a while. A late afternoon lunch, coffee at midnight. A walk in the park, watching over Nicki. Each time she saw the tall, dark-haired woman who must live and sleep in blue jeans and a white shirt, she felt her heart leap. It had nothing to do with any sexual contact although they still flirted, still wanted, but just couldn’t. There wasn’t enough time.