Liberty Begins (The Liberty Series) (16 page)

I’d never be his equal. He was too big for me, larger than life, with ability and talent and perspective that far eclipsed mine. My love was beginning to feel like worship. I couldn’t explain or rationalize the powerful feelings of need and contentment that consumed me when he was near me.

Looking at him like this made me want to cry. I felt consumed by my need for him, my love for him. It was completely overpowering. I felt the need to touch him so I started lightly tracing a pattern on his chest. As soon as our skin connected, it was like someone lit a match; it was like I was on fire, burning, the flames licking me deliciously. I leaned over and started kissing his chest. He murmured. “John,” I said quietly. “John, wake up.” He opened his eyes slowly, a smile creeping over his waking face.

“Good morning, angel,” he said to me softly. I leaned over and kissed him.

He pushed me back gently and held up one finger. “Hold that thought,” he said. “You already brushed your teeth, and that’s not fair.” He slid out of bed, naked, and I saw his enormous erection; it was almost comical but for the sharp pang I felt in between my legs. It actually hurt, I wanted him so badly.

“Hurry,” I called. I could hear him in the bathroom, running water, probably brushing his teeth. I took the opportunity to get up and put on the bikini and fluff my hair; I had a very specific scenario in mind. I grabbed John’s bathing suit off the back of a chair. I knocked on the bathroom door and opened it a crack, handing his swim trunks through.

“Are we having coffee first?” he asked through the door, and there was a low, sexy growl in his voice that made me clench.

“Coffee after,” I called. “I need you. I need you more than I need coffee, and that’s saying something.” I laughed, trying to keep myself in line. All I really wanted was him out of that bathroom and into the pool, before his father came down for breakfast and the cleaning lady showed up.

He came out, shirtless and in his bathing suit, looking sexy as hell. He grabbed my hands and pushed my back up against the large bureau in the room. He pressed the length of his body up against mine and I gasped at the pressure of his erection. He put his lips against mine and parted them with his tongue, searching for mine. They touched briefly and an electric spark shot through my body; he pressed himself into me, and I grabbed his ass, trying to force him inside of me in spite of our bathing suits.

“Ha ha,” he laughed softly, pressing his cock up against me and then pulling it back, teasing me. “That’s my girl.” He stepped away from me and led me from the room. I checked the clock before we left: five am. We had a little time.

We hurried down the stairs. John turned off the alarm, hit the start button on the coffee maker, and led
me out onto the stone patio. The sun was up over the ocean, beginning its ascent over the sky. The blue water of the pool shimmered invitingly. “My father won’t be up until six,” John said, wrapping his arms around me and covering my shoulders with kisses. “I would like to have both you
and
some coffee before then.”

“Yes, sir,” I whispered, and I rubbed his strong, broad shoulders rhythmically, wriggling my bikini-clad breasts against his bare chest. He lowered his powerful hands over the sides of my body, as if he was sculpting me. I leaned in and kissed him, crushing my breasts against him, and he moaned. He grabbed my ass and pulled me against him; I threw one leg up over his hip, trying to angle his penis inside me. Just the tip went in, with both his bathing suit and my bottoms covering it, but I still pulsed against him, willing him to enter me, needing to feel his full hardness inside me.

He grunted and stepped back, still holding me with one arm, and untied one side of my string bottom. It dropped to the ground. He led me to the stairs of the pool, then, and walked me down; the cool water felt amazing against my naked skin. I shivered and clung to him. He picked me up and walked me farther into the pool, and I could feel the water swirling all around us, deliciously cool up against my heat. I wrapped my legs around his hips and balanced myself on top of his erection. I kissed him, hard, trying to press him into me again, and he moved us to the edge of the pool. He lifted me out of the water and sat me on the edge, delicately, and spread my legs apart; my nakedness was level with his face. I watched as he slowly undid his swim trunks and pulled them off underwater. He placed them next to me on the pool’s edge and gave me a wicked grin.

“Kiss me,” he said, and I leaned down and kissed him, my breathing coming and going roughly. He put his hand on my chest and then pushed back; then he leaned in and put his mouth on my clitoris, lightly. I leaned my head back and moaned. He continued to lick and kiss and suck down there; I was shuddering, shaking. I heard myself begging him to take me.

“John, please ... I need you,” I whimpered, while he bit and sucked and licked. My hips thrust upward and I moaned some more, begging, and he must not have been able to take it anymore. He put his hands on either side of me and lifted himself from the pool. I raised my head and through my hazy veil of lust I saw his perfect, naked, gleaming body with water rushing off of it. He pulled himself up further and entered me in one fluid motion, slamming into me. He kept at it, filling me, thrusting harder and harder. The world went topsy turvy as he continued to thrust into me, punishing me, again and again; the horizon tipped.

“Oh my god!”
I heard myself yell. “OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!” I came then, hard and screaming; my body wracked with spasms around him and I grabbed his perfect, muscular ass as I clenched myself around him. “Don’t stop,”
I whimpered, as my orgasm continued to shudder as he slammed into me.

“Don’t pull out,” I heard myself beg. “Don’t stop. I can’t take it.” He was in me so deep that it was like I’d never felt him before; my orgasm continued to shake me, pulling him in further and further inside me, my body stretching with pleasure that bordered on pain. John’s thrusts were becoming longer now, I could feel him on the edge. I cupped his ass lovingly and pulled him into me as deep as he could go. He leaned back then and looked at me,
intensely
; then he pressed down and kissed me, his tongue rubbing against mine, my back against the cold concrete of the pool deck.

“Mine,” he said, and he started to shudder. “All mine.” He thrust into me again, deeply, and I could feel his hot liquid heat explode inside me. “Ah!”
He threw his head back, and I could see the cords stand out in his neck; his whole body went rigid. I could feel another orgasm rolling inside me, in response to his; I pushed him into and out of me again and again, while he moaned, and I exploded around him, screaming his name. He rested on me gently then, on the concrete, holding his full weight off my body so I didn’t get hurt by the rough stone.

He kissed the side of my face tenderly. “I’m pretty sure you just woke my dad up,” he said, grinning wickedly. I clapped my hands over my eyes, mortified. “And most of the neighbors.” He slowly slid out of me, chuckling, pleased with himself. I cried out softly when he left my body; I felt so empty. He got up and grabbed towels for us. He wrapped his around his waist and sauntered over, sexy as hell.

“Don’t give me that sexy look,” I said, grunting and sitting up. “I can’t take anymore sexy.”

“Coffee,” John said. “Let’s go get coffee. Then it’s time to pack up.”

My heart skipped then and I shivered a little.
It was go time.
I wrapped the towel around me more tightly for warmth as I watched him walk away.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

It’s A Shame About Ray

I picked up the new aviator sunglasses John had given me and carefully put them into their case. I grabbed a box of tampons from under the sink and put them in my bag; I’d gotten my period, a fact I’d somewhat wistfully gotten notice of earlier. I brushed my wistfulness aside. I had other things to think about. I tossed my
carry-on
bag over my shoulder and took a final look around. It was empty; Sean had come and packed it all up and the suitcases had been moved up to the guest bedroom in the big house. I didn’t know what that meant, and I was trying not to think about it.
I don’t know
when, or if, I’ll ever be back here,
I thought.

I closed my mind down, not willing to think about it anymore, and concentrated on taking it step by step down the hallway. “Now you look like you’re walking through a minefield,” Matthew called out, his voice booming down the hall, making me jump. “Yesterday it was skipping, today it’s skulking,” he said, catching up to me. His own carryon bag was slung casually over his shoulder.

“You’re a hard girl to keep up with.”

“I’ve got a lot on my mind,” I said, shrugging.

“For sure,” Matthew said, and patted me on the shoulder. We stepped outside and he put his sunglasses on. They were aviators, just like my new ones.
We were going to look like a well-dressed band of bounty-hunters,
I thought.

“See you on the bus, Liberty,” he said, and slapped me on the back. He headed off towards the garage.

I was heading up to the big house to say goodbye to Mr. Quinn. The thought gave me butterflies. Butterflies with heavy wings. I didn’t know when I’d see him again. I felt I owed him a great debt; he’d seen through what my father hadn’t been able to, and he’d done it out of the simple goodness of his heart.

“Liberty,” he said, when I walked through the front door into the kitchen. “I’d thought you’d gone already.”

“And not say goodbye?” I said, and I was mortified to feel my eyes fill up with tears. “To my ESPN buddy? No way,” I said, setting my bag down and going over to hug him. He held me tight for a moment and then released me. His eyes were moist too, and we both looked away from each other, embarrassed.

“I need you to promise you’re going to listen to my son,” he said, pouring himself a glass of water. “He knows how to keep you safe. For both of our sakes, and in this instance, I mean his and mine, I need you to promise. Neither one of us are going to forgive ourselves if something happens to you.”

“I promise,” I said, and nodded. “I don’t want to be any more trouble than I’ve already been. Trust me.”

“I do trust you,” Mr. Quinn said, looking at me fondly. It made my heart hurt. “And you haven’t been any trouble.
Here’s the information about your father’s estate,” he said, putting a heavy cream envelope into my hand. “Contact the lawyer when you have time. Now, moving on … have you and John talked about your arrangements? After Ray has been secured?”

“No,” I said, looking down, blushing furiously. “We haven’t gotten that far yet.” He sighed and I continued to look down at my sneakers.

“John is very in the moment,” Mr. Quinn said, “and he’s out of practice with relationships. Woefully out of practice.” He chuckled. “I know for a fact, though, that he wants you to come back here. Would you consider it?”

Please, I can't hear this now,
I thought. I
made
myself
look
up
at
him
and
smile
.
“We’ll figure it out. Thank you. For everything,” I said, and my voice choked up. “You saved me,” I managed to whisper. I grabbed my bag and gave him one last slightly unceremonious wave. I had to get outside, fast.

When I did, I burst into tears.

Get a grip, Liberty,
I thought.
I had to go onto the bus now, and face everyone else, and deal with Ray, and every other thing I had in front of me. It was no time to show weakness. Yet I had never felt weaker.

Your suitcases are up there,
I thought, trying to comfort myself.
And
Mr
.
Quinn
says John wants you to come back.

But then what?
I thought.
If
I
let
myself
just
come
back,
what was I going to do here? I was a stripper. I came from nothing. I had no place in this world. Even if I did, I would have to make John reconsider his day job. I couldn’t live on the verge of a heart attack every day.

There was only one way I was ever coming back here, I knew. The thought of what I had to do sent shivers down my spine.

Later,
I thought,
think about it later.

I sighed, wiping the tears off my face and squaring my shoulders.
The bus. I had to get back on the bus.
We were taking it to Providence, and getting on a flight there. We had a few stops and then we’d be in Eugene.

I didn’t know what we’d find there.

* * *

John and I did our best to act professionally on the bus and on the plane, i.e. we did not kiss, hold hands, or grope each other. We did, however, sit next to each other. I found myself holding my breath a lot; if I could smell him, my mouth would start watering, and then all hell would break loose.

It was after one a.m. when we arrived at EUG. I had been too wired to sleep, but now I was exhausted from the long flight. “We’ll take a cab to the place we’ve rented,” John said, gently patting my shoulder. “We’re almost there, now. You can get some sleep soon.”

Less than ten of us had flown out; Matthew, Sean, Corey and Ethan, along with Michael, the medic, and some guys that John said were observation specialists that I hadn’t really interacted with before. “They know where he is, or at least, where to look for him,” John had said, and I left it alone at that.

It felt strange to stand on the sidewalk in front of the airport, back in my city; the air was slightly humid and warmer than I’d expected. The quality of the air was the same as I remembered, though. It was different from Nevada and from Rhode Island — I couldn’t say how, but the air tasted like home.

Home.
I had such mixed feelings about this; on the one hand, I really did hate Ray, at least, as much as I was capable of hating another person. I knew he was a bad person who did not have remorse. I knew he didn’t love my mother and never mourned her; I also knew that if he could have managed to string me out and use me as his whore, he would have been delighted.

John and I took our own cab. I let myself rest my head against him then, finally, and he exhaled in relief at my closeness. “It’s about a twenty minute ride to the house,” John said, throwing his arm around me. “Now that we’re alone, there’s some things we need to talk about.”

I felt my body tense up. John must have felt it, too, because he stroked my hair, trying to calm me.

“It’s okay. It’s going to be okay,” he said, calmly.

“Everything?” I asked, and there was an edge of hysteria to my voice.

“Everything,” he assured me.

“First, we’re going to watch Ray tomorrow — to see if anything’s changed,” he said. “If we get the chance, we’ll just take him, but I’m not being that optimistic. We need to get our bearings.

“Second, once we capture him, I’m going to let you direct our course. This is about
you.
I’m going to let you decide what you want to do with him,” he said, calmly. He sounded much more relaxed than I felt. “It’s going to be your decision. But I want you to know, I will do
anything
that you ask.”

“The more violent, the better, right?” I asked. I sounded like I was joking, but I wasn’t. I remembered quite clearly what he’d said when I told him the whole story about Ray. John would be thrilled for the opportunity to issue him some physical justice.

“Whatever you say, dear,” he said, deadpan. “Now also, I thought you might be curious about Darius. He’s on a plane back to Brazil, in a wheelchair, and Kevin’s trailing him.”

“Are you okay with that?” I asked, genuinely curious. I still didn’t know what to make of the Darius situation. I didn’t know if he’d end up being helpful or not.

“I’m happy to have some space from Darius,” John said, and laughed. “As you know, he’s not my favorite person. And Cruz and I are happy with anything that his return to society can provide us with: addresses, names, anything — even if it’s false, it’ll at least be something, and it might lead somewhere. In any event, it will be something more than what we have right now. Which is nothing.”

“I’ve been thinking…” I said, and let my voice trail off. I
had
been thinking, all through our long flight, and before, this morning, back at the house.
It was just such a crazy coincidence, and it had brought so much trouble down on all of us.

“How is it possible,” I asked, slowly, unsure of quite how to proceed, “that you came to find me? It seems like there’s too many crazy circumstances —” I started to stammer and I sat up straight, accidentally knocking his arm off me, truly frustrated by my own inability to fully grasp the big picture. This was my life we were talking about, and I felt like I’d been out of the loop of it, out of the driver’s seat, for too long.

“You were working for Cruz, and at the same time, your father wanted you to keep handling my father’s case,” I spluttered, letting the full incoherence of it wash over me.

“Correct,” said John, calmly.

“So you came to Vegas for Darius,
and
for me?” I asked, disbelieving.

“Correct,” he said, calmly again. “Liberty, I’ve already told you all this.”

It was true, but the full force of it was just hitting me. Maybe it was because now I knew about my father, or maybe it was because we were back here, so close to the end, and I just
had
to figure it out, once and for all.

“But that’s just crazy,” I said, shaking my head. “My father, who I’ve never met, does business with your father? And you happen to be friends with one of the club owners where I work, across the country?”

“Guilty as charged,” he said and shrugged.

“How can this all be?” I asked, putting my head in my hands. Before I’d met him, I’d had nothing. Another sad image of me, alone at my chipped card table in Vegas, flashed before me and I winced. Now I had everything, more than I’d even bargained for.

“
You
think it’s crazy,” John said, looking at me. He seemed slightly exasperated, like he was trying to explain something over and over again, as if to a small child. “I don’t see it that way at all.”

I looked at him blankly. It
was
nuts. It was coincidence on top of coincidence.

“It’s fate,” John said. “You
still
don’t see that?”

I shook my head at him,
no.
That still seemed like crazy talk to me.

“You want to know how I know? How I know for sure?” he asked. I nodded mutely, and he placed my hand over his thudding heart.

“My father asked me for a favor when I was out in Vegas. I wasn’t thinking about it — I was totally focused on Cruz, on Darius. But you know what? The first night I met you, my heart stopped. I haven’t been the same since. You’ve changed me. You’ve changed my life. That’s how I know it’s fate. Because I love you.
This
,” he said, putting his arm around me once more,
“
was meant to be. It’s real. For me, anyway,” he said, and I actually heard a note of insecurity in his voice.

“It’s real for me, too,” I said. I looked up at him.

“It just seems too good to be true. Parts of it, anyway.” I laid my head on his chest and closed my eyes.
Home,
I thought, and it had nothing to do with the city outside. I realized that I’d changed, too. Probably for good.

“I love you so much,” I said, and buried my head in his chest. “I’m just so afraid.”

“Don’t be,” John said, misapprehending me. “I’m right here.”

* * *

The house we’d rented was beautiful, of course. It was a split level, all done in neutral colors, immaculate and perfect. The master bedroom was on the bottom level, and several more bedrooms on the upper floor. The furniture was tasteful, expensive, and utterly forgettable.

“We’re down here, away from the guys,” John said, whisking me down the stairs and throwing our bags down. “One of the perks of dating the boss.” He turned to me and gestured to the king-sized bed and the neutrally-tiled master bath beyond. “Get ready for bed and go to sleep,” he said. “We’re going to do surveillance on Ray tomorrow, early. I’m going to go meet with the guys, and then I’ll be down. We can sleep for about six hours.”