Lie Next to Me (22 page)

“Sure. Sounds fun.”

“Great. Now, turn around. I’m so hard for you. I’ve been wanting you so badly all day.”

I turned around like he asked and we had amazing sex. As I lay in bed
, and with Ian’s arms wrapped around me, my mind wouldn’t stop thinking about Andrew and the things he said about him and Ian sharing women. I could feel myself retreating, just like I used to when I was a child. I was slipping back into that world of loneliness and it scared me. I was beginning to become emotionally withdrawn. I wanted more out of this relationship. I wanted him to love me like I loved him. I needed him to want more from me than just sex. A tear fell from my eye as I slowly closed them both and finally fell asleep.

We were taking Ian’s friends out tonight for dinner and dancing. I was still amazed that Ian wanted me to join them. I’d been emotionally withdrawn the past couple of days and I could tell Ian sensed it. He asked me if anything was bothering me and I lied and told him no. If I did discuss my feelings with him, it would end in a terrible argument
, and I wasn’t up for that yet. We still had sex every day, sometimes twice, which made it harder on me because of the emotional attachment. Every day I spent with Ian, I fell deeper and deeper in love with him.

“They’re here,” Ian said as he knocked on my door.

“Okay, I’ll be down in a second.”

I looked at myself one last time in the mirror and walked down the stairs with a smile.

“Rory, I would like you to meet Connor and Ellery Black.”

Holy shit. He was hot.

“Connor and Ellery, this is my houseguest, Rory Sinclair.”

Houseguest. Nice. He couldn’t introduce me as his friend? No, I was his houseguest.

Connor held out his hand and, with a smile, he told me how nice it was to meet me. I turned to Ellery and the two of us lightly hugged. She was amazingly beautiful and the two of them looked stunning together. We climbed in the back of Ian’s limo and headed to the restaurant. Ellery and I chatted while Connor and Ian were discussing business. Connor was interested in a piece of property that he said would be perfect for an art gallery.

“Do the two of you have any children?” I asked her.

“We have a daughter who’s six months old. Her name is Julia.”

I smiled as Ellery pulled out her phone and showed me pictures of her. She was adorable and I couldn’t help but be a little envious. When we arrived at the restaurant, Connor helped Ellery out of the limo and Ian just stood there. That was odd because he always helped me out of the limo. I
noticed Ellery gave him a strange look and then looked at me. The two of them walked hand in hand inside the restaurant while Ian walked next to me. Once we were promptly seated, I ordered a cosmopolitan. The four of us talked and enjoyed a nice dinner. I excused myself, and Ellery followed me into the bathroom.

“Are you all right, Rory?” she asked as she touched up her lipstick.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Ian’s a pretty special guy.”

“Pretty special asshole,” I accidentally let slip out.

“I’ve known Ian for a couple of years
, and you’re the first woman he’s ever brought to dinner.” She smiled.

“Really?”

“Really.”

“He reminds me a lot of how Connor used to be when we first met. We can talk about that tomo
rrow. The men are going golfing, and I think maybe the two of us should go shopping. Julia can come with us and we’ll have a great time.”

“Julia’s here?”

“She’s back at the hotel with our manny, Mason.”

“I would love to meet her.” I smiled.

Ellery smiled back and we went back to our table. The four of us talked a bit more and then called it a night. We dropped Connor and Ellery off at their hotel.

“They’re a great couple,” I said to Ian.

“Yes, they are. They’re probably two of the nicest people I’ve ever met,” he said as he put his arm around me and tried to pull me closer. I resisted. “What’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing. I’m just tired.”

He hadn’t shown any type of affection towards me all night and then the minute Connor and Ellery got out of the limo, he wanted to touch me.

“Why are you so tired? Are you feeling okay?”

“Yes, I’m feeling fine.”

Ian removed his arm from me and sighed. As Joshua pulled up to the house, Ian climbed out and held out his hand.

“Oh,
now
you want to help me out of the limo?”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” he snapped.

“At the restaurant, you didn’t help me at all. You just stood there.”

“I did? I didn’t realize.”

I smacked his hand out of the way and got out myself. I just wanted to go to sleep.

“Wow, Rory. You have issues,” he said as he followed me up the stairs.

“Don’t come into my room,” I spat as I slammed the door in his face.

“You need to talk to me, Rory, and tell me what’s going on with you. If you’re upset, you need to talk to me about it.”

I stood in my room in silence. “Fine, Rory. Suit yourself,” he said as he slammed his door.

****

The next morning, Ian didn’t say a word to me. Connor and Ellery came over and the men left to go golfing. Joshua drove Ellery and me around for the day.

“She’s so adorable, Ellery,” I said as I held Julia.

“Thank you. She’s our entire world. Why don’t you tell me what’s going on with Ian? I noticed that the two of you weren’t speaking.”

“I’m sorry. Things with Ian are complicated
, and I don’t know how much more I can take,” I said as we walked into a little boutique.

“Ian is a complicated man. Like I told you last night, he reminds me a lot of how Connor was when we first met.”

“Really?” I said as I looked through the racks.

“Yes. Let me guess. You’re in love with him, aren’t you?” Ellery asked me.

“Yes, I am.”

“Have you told him?”

Julia started to whine and Ellery took her from me. “No. He keeps saying he doesn’t do relationships. I feel like his own personal call girl.”

“Aw, sweetie. You need to tell him how you feel. If you don’t, you’ll keep arguing. When Connor finally admitted to me that he was in love with me, it changed everything. We’ve had our ups and downs and we struggled to get where we are today, but it was all worth it because it strengthened our relationship and made us realize that we couldn’t live without each other.”

“What the two of you have is rare,” I said.

“No, it’s not. Two people who truly love each other can have it too. I noticed the way Ian looked at you last night. I saw something in him that I’d never seen before. If it was truly meant to be for the two of you, then it will happen. Unfortunately, sometimes we have to make them see what they’d lose if we were gone.”

“Really?”

“You’ve heard the saying, ‘Sometimes you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone,’ right?”

I nodded my head. “Yes, I’ve heard it.”

“I believe that sometimes people need to open their eyes and see what’s standing in front of them and how it could be gone in an instant.”

“You’re right. Maybe I’ll talk to him tonight. Thanks, Ellery.” I smiled.

“You’re welcome, sweetie. Don’t worry; everything will work out if it’s meant to be. Fate has a strange way of throwing two people together.”

We got in the limo and went back to the house. Ian and Connor were already back from their golf game and were sitting on the patio, having some drinks.

“Well, you’re finally back. Did the two of you have fun?” Connor asked as he got up from his seat, kissed Ellery on the lips, and took Julia from her arms.

“We had a great time.” She smiled.

Ian looked at me and then looked down. I had a headache, so I walked into the kitchen and grabbed the bottle of ibuprofen from the cabinet. I shook two pills into my hand and chased them down with a bottle of water. When I walked back out to the patio, Connor and Ellery were gone and Ian was holding Julia. I stopped and stared at him. Seeing him holding a baby was just about as sexy as him being naked.

“She’s adorable. Isn’t she?” I said.

“Yeah, she’s pretty cute.”

“Where are Connor and Ellery?”

“They went down to the beach for a minute. Connor just handed her to me.”

Julia started to fuss and I could tell Ian became nervous. “Here, take her,” he said as he handed her over to me.

I took her and, instantly, she stopped fussing. She looked at me and put her hand on my face. Ian stared at me and with a smile he said, “You’re a natural with babies.”

Connor and Ellery walked back up to the patio and Ellery took Julia inside. Their plane was leaving soon and they had to get back to the hotel and fetch Mason. Ian and Connor shook hands and lightly hugged. Apparently, they had sealed their business deal on the golf course. I hugged Connor and Ellery goodbye, gave Julia a kiss, and they left. Ellery was kind of enough to give me her phone number and told me to call her if I just wanted to talk or if I ever needed anything. I had just made two new friends. Too bad they lived in New York.

I went up to my room and Ian followed me. “I think we need to talk about last night,” he said.

I guessed this was as good a time as any to let it all out. “Yeah, you’re right. We do.”

Ian walked up to me and ran the back of his hand down my cheek. “What’s going on with you lately? You seem distant, like you were when I first brought you here.”

I didn’t know what to say. Actually, I did, but I didn’t know how to say it. My stomach was twisted in knots and I felt like I was going to vomit. This was it. The words I was about to say were going to either make us or break us and I had a feeling it was going to break us.

“I love you, Ian.”

He looked at me and then turned around and ran his hands through his hair. “No, you don’t, Rory. You just think you do.”

“You’re wrong, Ian,” I said as I grabbed his arm. “I’m in love with you.”

“You’re in love with what I’ve done for you, not me.”

Now I was pissed.
Who the hell was he to deny me my feelings for him?
“No, I appreciate what you’ve done for me, but I’m in love with you, Ian Braxton. I’m in love with you as a person. Sure, you piss me off sometimes, but I still love you. I want
us
. I want
us
to be something special to each other.”

He turned around and looked at me. “You’re loving the wrong person because I’m not in love with you.”

Those words. Those six, god awful words. I felt like I’d been stabbed all over again. In fact, the pain I just felt was worse than that.

“I don’t believe you,” I said as a tear fell from my eye. “How can you stand there and say that to me? What are you so afraid of?”

“I’m not afraid of anything. It’s just how I feel. I’m sorry if I’ve hurt you. It’s the last thing I want to do, but you’re being ridiculous.”

“I’m ridiculous because I told you that I loved you? You saved me and you made me fall in love with you. You took my soul and you stole my heart. I’m a human being and I have feelings.”

Ian looked away from me and slowly shook his head. “Maybe I was the fool for thinking that you wouldn’t fall in love with me. I told you before that this is me. This is how I am and you can either accept it or—”

“Or what, Ian?!” I yelled. “I think this has something to do with your mother leaving you as a child.”

The rage in his eyes grew even more as he turned and looked at me. I could see the fire behind the color. “Don’t you ever bring my mother up again! This has nothing to do with her.”

“Really? Because you want to hear what I think?”

“NO! Actually, I don’t.”

“Well, too bad. I think you’re scared to love anyone. You won’t let anyone in because you’re afraid they’ll leave you, like she did.”

“Bullshit. You know nothing, Rory. So spare me your stupid little insights because you don’t know what the hell you’re talking about!”

“You’ve let your father poison you all these years with his view of women since your mother left. Did it ever occur to you that she left for a reason?”

“I’m warning you, Rory. Stop right now. Just because I don’t love you, doesn’t mean you have to bring my mother into this,” he said with sadness.

I couldn’t hold it together anymore. Hearing him say that he didn’t love me was a thousand knives through my heart.

“I want the truth. When I woke up after you brought me here, you said that you saved my life and that you did something for me and I would have to do something for you. Is that when you decided you wanted to have sex with me without using a condom? I need the truth, Ian. Tell me the fucking truth!” I yelled.

He looked at me with such sadness as he whispered no. “I’m sorry, Rory,” he said as he took a step closer to me. I never meant to—”

“Stop,” I said as I put up my hand. “Don’t come any closer to me, please.” I couldn’t take any more of his bullshit. The way he manipulated me with his touch, his kiss, and his words.

“I can’t give you what you want. I wish I could, but I can’t,” he said.

At that moment, I realized that I couldn’t do this anymore. I couldn’t be his friend with benefits, his call girl, or whatever the hell I was to him. The tears were now flowing uncontrollably.

“Sweetheart, please,” he said.

I put my finger up. “I am not your sweetheart,” I said through gritted teeth.

“I’m sorry, Rory,” he said as he walked out and shut the door.

I couldn’t breathe. It felt like a ton of bricks was sitting on my chest. I got down on the floor and crawled into the corner. I curled into a ball and silently cried. After about an hour, I went into the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. My mascara-stained eyes were red and swollen and my face had streaks going down it. I washed my face and sat down on the bed. My head was pounding and I just wanted to sleep. I had to make a plan to leave. I picked up my phone and sent Adalynn a text message.