Lies of the Heart (12 page)

“Obviously not.” She pulled away from his warm hands, disengaging physically as well as emotionally. Bracing herself, she waited.

He blew out a hot breath. It fanned her face. Her blood warmed and her middle clenched. She wanted him. But did he want her? A slice of hurt ripped through her. “Chance, is it…me? Don’t you want me?”

Deep grooves formed between his brows. “What, are you crazy? Of course I want you. It’s just your…” he trailed off and she silently pleaded for him to finish. He tried again, “Tessa, honey, please think about this some more. Your granny will very likely raise our baby with you. Can you even picture her doing that?”

Shaking her head, she asked, “What’s wrong with that? She loves babies. I love babies.”

Suddenly, he jerked his head to his right and stilled. “Did you hear that?”

“No. And don’t change the subject.”

Turning back to her, he said, “I swear I heard something. A whine maybe.”

Placing a hand on his muscled forearm, she felt the tension ripple through him.
Or was that desire?
she wondered as he captured her gaze. The gray deepened. She gulped hard. “Back to you and me, Chance,” she croaked, and then cleared her throat. “The only reason why I agreed to this cock-a-mamie marriage was because you were going to give me a baby in return. You can’t back out on me now.”

He shook his arm free of her hold, and then ran both hands threw his hair. “I’m going to explain this as simply as possible, all right?” Dropping his hands, he stared straight at her. “Your granny hates me. If I father your baby, she’ll transfer that hate onto him or her. I won’t have that on me.”

His words echoed through her stunned mind. “No,” she whispered, trying to remain in complete denial. But reason forced its ugly head to stare straight into her face. Tessa turned away from Chance, from the demons.

The touch of his hands on her shoulders made her still. “Don’t,” she choked out. His fingers brushed across her back as he pulled away. A quiver ran down her spine.

“Oh, sunshine, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

She tried to laugh. It came out more of a hollow puff. “Well, Chance Deveraux, you did a damn fine job of it anyway.”

He swore viciously. “There’s only one way out of all this, isn’t there?”

“Divorce?” she croaked.

“Eventually.” He paused. “But that’s not what I meant.”

A sliver of hope pierced her heart. She twisted to him. “What’s that?” Desperation colored her words. It must have been written all over her face, too; he looked at her with a certain degree of pity.

“You won’t like it.”

Bracing herself, she said, “When have I liked anything to do with this lately? Just tell me.” Her unspoken words, I’ll do anything, rushed through her head.

“Cut all ties with your granny.”

Blood roared in her ears. If he’d dropped a bomb in her face she couldn’t have reacted more thunderstruck. “Are you crazy?”

Before he could answer, he turned his head again. “There. Did you hear that?”

Silence reigned. “No. And stop doing that or I’ll find a frying pan and bash you one.” She curled her fingers into her palms. “You’ve got some nerve blackmailing me.”

He yanked his head around to face her. A wave of bewilderment chased across his rugged features. “Blackmail?”

“Yes, blackmail.” She put her fisted hands on her hips. “And don’t look so darn innocent. You want me to dump granny, then you’ll give me the baby I want. If that isn’t blackmail, then I don’t know what is.”

He closed his eyes for a moment and shook his head. When he looked at her again, she swore she saw chagrin in his. “Lord, I’ve made a mess of this.”

“You’re telling me. Heck, I knew I should have had you sign your oath in blood before I agreed to the terms of the will.” She tried to smile at her lame attempt at humor, but only her chin quivered. Biting her lip, she quelled the tears that threatened to spill.

Drawing a hand down his face, he coughed back his chuckle. “Yeah, maybe you should have, I don’t know. Tessa, if this was just between you and me, it would be one thing. And a whole lot easier. But we’ve got more people involved that has a right or needs to be.”

Slowly, the anger whirling inside her began to ease. As it did she relaxed her aching fingers and dropped her hands. It appeared to her as if he suffered from this decision as much as she was at the moment. “Why couldn’t this be different? Why couldn’t a baby heal our families instead of tearing the poor innocent child apart?” A thread of resignation wound through her questions.

Lifting a hand, he trailed his fingertips across her cheek. The warmth of his touch reached all the way down to her core. A pang throbbed through her. And her heart ached. Cupping her cheek now, he gazed intently into her eyes. His swirled with varying emotions.

“God help me, but I just can’t,” his voice cracked, and then he cleared his throat. “No matter how much I want you, sunshine, I can’t bring a baby into this world to knowingly expose him or her to harm. I’ve done some shitty things in my life, but never that.”

“Oh, Chance,” she whispered brokenly, finally knowing he was right. Granny would adore a baby, but not his. Never his. Oh, she may grudgingly care for it if forced to. But Tessa knew that the endless verbal abuse would scar the child.
Just as it did me.
She tried to dislodge that last thought from her mind. It clung to her like a second skin. Where praise had been hungered for all her life, Tessa had received the opposite. She never complained, however. Crumbs were better than nothing.

Sighing heavily, the fight gushed out of her, leaving her tired and weary. Chance gathered her close. She welcomed the strength and warmth of him. His arms cradled her close and his strong, steady heartbeat sounded like music to her ears. He stroked her back. Leaning down, he pressed a soft kiss to her head. His tenderness brought tears to her eyes.

Suddenly, he stilled. A second later, he grabbed her shoulders and pushed her away. Blinking up at him, she asked, “What? Is it me?”

He dropped a quick, hard kiss to her lips. “Not you. It’s that damn noise again. I’m going to check it out.”

Before she could answer, he rushed to the door. In his haste, he ran into a corner of a box piled on top of another. It tipped over and spilled its contents. “Damn,” he muttered, bending down to scoop up the heap of old photographs.

Tessa joined him. On her knees beside him, she shuffled them together. Suddenly, her attention was caught. Picking up one on top, she said, “Why, they’re all ripped.”

Taking it from her, he examined it closely, and then glanced down at the rest. Frowning, he said, “That’s funny. I never saw any of these before.” With his index finger he pointed to the young man and woman standing with their arms around each other. “That’s granddad and my grandmother.” He flipped it over, and then back again when he saw the blank back. “They were teenagers by the looks of it.”

“It couldn’t have been torn accidentally, not by the nearly perfect tear by your granddad’s side.” She bent closer and examined the others. “They’re different pictures, but all of them are torn, leaving just your grandparents in them. That’s strange.”

He shrugged, stuffing the one he held into his back pocket. “I’ll ask my grandmother about it next time I see her. But, in the meantime, I’m going to find out what that sound I keep hearing is.”

Two minutes later, when all the old pictures were back in the box, Chance raced down the stairs. Tessa was on his heels. At the open back door, she heard a whining sound. “It’s coming from over there.” She nodded to their right.

He looked over his shoulder at her, saying, “I knew I heard something. See, I’m not crazy after all.”

She smiled cheekily at him. “Well, now that part’s debatable.”

Doing a double take, he chuckled. “That’s my girl, still have the old spunk left in you.”

When he held out her hand, she put hers in it. Lean fingers wrapped around hers and she swore her heart tugged at the same time.

“Come on, let’s go investigate.”

Less than a minute later, she followed Chance to the alley. She stilled as she spotted movement under a big piece of cardboard. “Ah, Chance, maybe we shouldn’t disturb him.”

Just then a pitiful whine reached down into her middle. Sympathy shot through her.

“Is that human?” he asked under his breath, as he silently advanced down the dimly lit, narrow passage.

She listened closely. It came again. “No, not human. It’s some kind of animal and it’s probably hurt.” Tessa rushed forward.

He clamped a steely arm around her middle from behind. “Whoa there, sunshine. It could strike out at you if you’re not careful.” Easing her behind him, he squatted down, and then gingerly lifted the piece of dirty cardboard.

Two big soulful brown eyes stared up at Chance, and then her. Her heart hitched. “Oh, a dog.” She knelt down beside Chance and held out her hand to the whimpering animal. Slowly, his tongue came out and licked her fingers. She giggled. “It tickles.”

Slowly, she drew him out. Long, velvety brown ears flopped nearly to the ground and his low to the ground body lumbered out of its hiding place. Brown, white, and tan patches covered him.

“A basset hound,” Chance said with a smile in his voice, petting its head. “What’s this?” The change in his tone had Tessa’s full attention. Chance pointed to the front left paw the animal held up as he limped a little closer. “He’s hurt.”

***

As he lay on his side on the Vet’s covered stainless steel table, Tessa petted the dog’s soft coat. He made small cooing sounds in the back of his throat, obviously liking the attention. Warmth spread through Tessa. If she could fall in love with an animal at first sight, she had. “That’s all right, boy. Once we get the x-ray results back, we’ll get you fixed up and home in no time.”

Chance moved to the other side of the table. The heat of his gaze had her lifting her head. “Home?” he asked tightly.

She frowned, picking up on the tension radiating from him. “Yes, home. Ours.” At that, a muscle jumped along his jaw. A chill went through her. “Why not? He has no collar or tags, no identification, nothing. I’m keeping him.”

“Hell, Tessa, you can’t be serious.”

Suddenly, a flash of memory stole through her mind. As a boy Chance had a huge Saint Bernard who’d followed him everywhere. An image of her granny calling the pound because the dog appeared to be foaming at the mouth snuck up on her and filled her with cold realization. She cursed silently. “Oh, Chance, I’m sorry…about Manfred.” Tears smarted her eyes and she blinked them away. “Granny thought he was trying to bite me instead of lick my hand.”

If he could grow any stiller, he’d have been made out of granite. “Forget it.” The two clipped words held such pain.

“How can I?” Her voice cracked. “It’s because of me he was put to sleep.”

“Not you. Your granny’s to blame.”

Searching his gaze, she read so much hurt and betrayal there. Her heart clutched painfully. The truth poured out of her as she said, “She hated him, you know. It was just an excuse to get rid of him. I begged her not to.” She stopped, too choked up to continue.

Across from her, Chance reached out a hand to cup her cheek. With his thumb, he brushed away a tear clinging to the edge of her eyelashes. “I know,” he said roughly. The warmth of his hand and the pain in his voice shot through her.

For a long moment she stared into his eyes, watching the agony swirl in the depths. Slowly, he dropped his hand back to his side. “Do you see why I can’t give you that baby now? And why we shouldn’t keep this dog?”

She gasped. Looking down into the soulful brown eyes of the dog, she felt a cold sensation rush through her. “No. I won’t let her do that to this one. I swear.” Gulping hard, she lifted her chin and stared into Chance’s eyes. “I’m keeping him.”

He stiffened. “No.”

“Yes.”

“Damn it, Tessa!” He dragged a hand down his face.

“Don’t fight me on this one, Chance. You’ll lose.”

He jerked his head up and dawning chased across his face. “This is about the baby, isn’t it?”

Determination ran through her, growing stronger by the second. She shrugged. “Could be.” Thrusting out her chin, she said, “You may deny me my baby, but you don’t have any say about the dog, understand?”

A grimness settled around his mouth. “Who’s blackmailing who here?”

His words were like a dagger. “I don’t like it any more than you do,” she whispered brokenly. Reaching out to him, she grabbed his forearm. “Please understand, I’ve never had anyone or anything that loved me back in my life. Well, not like I wanted them to.”

His obvious discomfort struck a nerve deep inside her.

“You didn’t either, did you?” she asked, trying to form the words as her mind raced. “Your granddad loved you, but there was always this sense of disapproval coming from him, wasn’t there?”

“I tried.” He cleared his throat. “But it was never quite right. In the end, I always disappointed him somehow.”

A strangled chuckle caught in her back of her mouth. “Well, I always disappoint granny. In her eyes, I can’t do anything right.”

In the thick silence that hung between them, Tessa felt it pulse with unspoken regrets, missed chances, and a sense they shared more than they ever realized.

He swore under his breath, then turned away from her. Leaning his fisted hands on the low counter against the wall, the muscles in his back rippled with suppressed emotion. She tried to speak, even opened her mouth, but nothing came out.

In a low tone, he said, “No one’s ever hung around, stuck it out with me.”

The few simple words struck Tessa to her soul. Empathy wrenched through her. Slowly, she continued where he couldn’t go himself, “Your parents left by dying on you. Manfred left, unwillingly, but he did. Your wife left you, too.”

“Now granddad,” he said softly. He straightened. Deep grooves marred his rugged features around his mouth.

Swallowing hard, she said, “So now you either choose not to get involved or you leave before they can leave you, right?”

“Yeah,” he choked out.

“Even with him.” Tessa glanced down and rubbed the dog’s soft velvety ear. A thought whispered through her mind and she lifted her head, gazing into Chance’s tortured eyes. “It’s not just because of granny, is it, that you don’t want a baby? You realized that you’d have to walk away.”
And you wouldn’t do that to a baby, you wouldn’t do what had been done to you, leave him or her.