Life-After (10 page)

Hershel was a picture perfect marine stereotype, tall, chiseled features, square jaw and loud as hell. When I stepped off the bus he was leading the new recruits in push-ups, at first I thought he was the drill sergeant, turns out he was fresh meat just like me. When the real drill sergeant arrived he tore into Hershel and Hershel puffed out his chest and returned the shouts in kind. As punishment Hershel was ordered to run until he puked, I did not see him for days.

Throughout the first few weeks of boot camp Hershel made it his mission to be the best. Every time trial there was to beat he did it. Hershel never complained, never gave up and did everything with a proud smile on his face. At first I thought it was arrogance, but as I watched him I realized he had real pride in himself and he believed in the alliance military.

One night while I was on guard duty I heard the sounds of someone crying near the firing range. I found Hershel leaning against a tree staring up into the night sky. When he noticed me he quickly stood up wiping away his tears. I asked him what was wrong and at first he was hesitant, but soon he told me what had happened.

Hershel joined the military not only because he wanted to fight but because the military would support any family members you left behind. I learned Hershel was from Paramount City; his father had died of an illness and he was raised by a single mother. When Hershel turned ten his mother was diagnosed with Lineage Disease, a disorder that slowly caused complete muscle failure. He learned that Factor Twelve was working on a muscle enhancing formula which also could be used in the treatment of Lineage Disease.

Hershel knew the only way to get hold of the formula would be to join the military. It was not abnormal. The war had left many countries on the brink of collapse. Unemployment was over fifty percent and many people were left without the basic necessities. All resources went to the war and in turn the little resources left were used to benefit the alliance soldiers and their families. Hershel’s mother’s only chance for treatment was to be covered under her son’s medical plan.

Earlier that afternoon Hershel received a call. His next door neighbor had found his mother collapsed in her home. By the time she was taken to the hospital she had died. Hershel lost his main reason for joining and I believed the next thing he was going to tell me was that he would go A.W.O.L. He told me that he would never quit and would continue on because he made a promise to his mother that he would. After that night we became friends and for the first time ever I had someone I could confide in.

Over the next few weeks Hershel and I learned all about each other. I told him everything about my life and I learned everything about his. We became friendly rivals competing against each other in our training events. We had a common goal and that was to show up Sara. Of course until I fell for her.

A few weeks before finishing boot camp we were transferred to the advanced teams. Codenamed Alpha Factor, we were the best of the rookies. By then Sara and I were moving forward with our relationship and I was introduced to our squad commander, Lieutenant Commander Jonathan Kane.

We were to be part of a special training course which was to be kept secret until we were ready to begin. Later that night Hershel told me he knew what the training would be. V.R.T.S was created to simulate conditions we may encounter in the field. The Federation was known to torture its prisoners using pain and pleasure to get information out of enemy soldiers. The V.R.T.S was nicknamed the Coffin because of the small capsule-like device that the trainee would be placed into. Wearing a sensory suit the soldier would be totally immersed within a virtual world that the V.R.T.S engineers could control.

The idea of being connected to a device that controlled what I saw and felt was extremely unsettling. Dealing with nightmares as a child and my other mental issues, the last thing I wanted was some scientists connecting a computer to my brain. Hershel laughed it off saying I was being silly and that it would make us better soldiers. He convinced me everything would be fine, he gave me his word and that was good enough for me.

The training was done in two’s. Part of me wanted to be with Sara who had also made the team, but I was happy to be paired with Hershel. We were to work as a team to accomplish a variety of missions and we would be scored and timed. Suited up and strapped into the machine, Hershel’s voice came over the internal speakers telling me to relax, that it would be over quicker than I knew.

I found myself in complete darkness and slowly the reality around me came into sight. Everything felt so real. I could touch, taste and smell everything as if it were real. Hershel and I completed a series of test missions without incident then we moved into the real training. At first I was able to remember that nothing I was experiencing was real, but the engineers compensated for that by adding elements like pain. We had to behave as if it was real or we could suffer damage that to our mind.

What I did not understand was that time could be manipulated within the V.R.T.S. It felt as if weeks had gone by and soon we had forgotten that we were in an imaginary world. Hershel and I believed we were trapped behind Federation lines trying to escape. To us it was real, the danger, the fear of death.

We had reached a check point and devised a plan to get by, but something went wrong and we were captured. Separated I was locked in a tiny cell with no food, water or sunlight until I thought I was going to die. Just as I prepared for death they would pull me from my cell and give me enough food and water to live. If I refused they would strap me down and feed me intravenously.

They did not ask me a question for months. One night I was pulled from my cell and put in another. There was a man balled in the corner trembling, it was Hershel. I tried to help him, but he would not respond. When the guards came I asked them what they had done, but they did not answer, not with words anyway. They struck me with their weapons until I lay bloodied on the ground. They just laughed and left me there.

For the next two weeks I nursed Hershel back to where he slowly began to speak, but it was incoherent babble. He spoke about his mother and how the war was a sham, it made no sense. When the guards returned they took us both. They dragged us to an examination room. There were two metal tables where they strapped us in. Above us there were seats where people could come an observe us. I yelled and cursed at them, but they did not care. I was ready to be tortured, but all they did was shine a green light over us and left us there.

Day’s went by with the green light just shining on us. I watched as the people above came and went but I had no idea what they were doing. There was a point where I wondered if they were doing something to me but it was not working. That theory was reinforced when Hershel began screaming. He was shaking violently crying out in agony, but no one came or even reacted to him. I yelled out telling them to stop, I was almost at the point where I would give them any information just so they would stop hurting him. Then in an instant everything went dark and the screaming stopped.

I awoke sometime later in the camp hospital; the bed beside me was empty. I slowly began to remember what happened to me. There was a knock at the door. Jonathan entered with two doctors and approached my bed. I asked him what happened. He told me there were complications with the V.R.T.S that we were trapped in a feedback loop. They wanted to know why I was barley affected by the experience. I asked what they meant by that. Jonathan’s expression changed, it came to be one I would easily recognize.

He told me Hershel’s mind could not handle the feedback and it overloaded. They used terms that I did not understand but that was what happened. Hershel’s mind shut down and he died. My mind remained resilient and they were able to pull me out. At that point I did not care about my life. I had lost the only friend I had up to that point. Under orders I was subjected to their tests so they could figure out why I survived. I never got to attend Hershel’s funeral. By the time I was released Hershel’s body had been sent home to be buried next to his mother. I only had Sara to turn to for comfort.

I was never told why my mind was not affected while in the V.R.T.S. The military continued to use it and I was ordered to keep quiet about everything that had happened. Being in a virtual reality made me realize how easily the mind can be tricked, manipulated. There were some nights in the field I would wake up and wonder if I was still in the machine. How do we know what is real? It was a question I once asked Sara, she died before I received an answer.

Hearing her words, that everything had been a lie shattered any peace I had found. I sat up from the bed breathing heavily, sweating profusely. It was morning and I was alone in the cabin, Clara was gone and her side of the bed was cold. Panic shot into me, I began to question everything I had experienced, all I wanted to do was find Clara and learn the truth. I rushed from the bedroom searching the house but she was not there. I ran outside into the backyard, the bright warm sun and sweet smell of the flowers had returned, but Clara was still nowhere to be found.

“
Clara!” I yelled out. “Where are you?”

“
I’m right here, David.”

I spun around to see her standing there smiling at me. She was wearing a yellow summer dress and had her hair tied into a pony tail. I grabbed her lifting her into the air. She giggled as I spun her around so happy to have her with me. The questions, the doubt was still there, but I fought against it because I wanted what I had to be real.

“
Where did you go?” I asked her. “When I awoke…how did you appear behind me?”

Clara smiled tilting her side slightly to her left, she would do this when I asked a question she found interesting. She grabbed hold of my chin with her hands and pulled me towards her. They were so warm, so soft. She kissed me then took my hand and began walking, leading me around towards the front of the house.

“
You had questions before.” Clara said. “You wanted to know if this was heaven, if religion was correct. We have spent so much time in the past I haven’t been able to tell you about your present, our future. There is so much I have been tasked to explain to you.”

“
Tasked?” I questioned.

Clara continued walking until we came to a small hill overlooking a vast green valley; it seemed to go on forever. The beautiful scenery and the perfect day pushed back my need to question what I was seeing, but it was still there in the back of my mind. I believed Clara could sense it. I learned that a lovely prison is still a prison, if that was what we had found ourselves in then I had to know.

“
As I told you we are not alone here.” Clara explains. “Here is where all human souls go when they die.”

“
So everyone gets to go to heaven?” I asked.

Clara smiled slightly and lowered her head. I could tell what she was thinking. I was never one to talk about religion, heaven or hell. I believed what made us was what we did when alive. I had no expectations of an afterlife. Perhaps that is why the death of the people I loved caused me so much pain.

“
Heaven…” Clara began. “Heaven is a word used by people unable to understand what lies beyond death. This is not the afterlife, this is our life after. When we become old enough to make our own decisions it is up to use to shape our lives the way we want it. You were always correct in believing that what you did while alive was what mattered because here, you happiness or sorrow depends on how you crafted your life in the physical world.”

“
The physical world…?” I questioned.

I had not heard Clara speak like that before. After her parents were killed Clara abandoned her belief in religion. Though I never joined her when she would attend services with the other Trinity members, it made me happy to see her so content after she did. There was definitely something missing when she turned away from her faith. She had already loss her parents and leaving the people she had created a bound with left her empty. I did everything I could to fill that void, but in the end I believed I had failed.

“
So what you are saying is this place can be either Heaven or Hell?” I asked.

“
Yes, David.” Clara answered. “You bring everything you were from the physical world here. Any pain or unresolved issues upon your death follows you to your next life. This is why I had to tell you the truth about my death, about Richard. Even though I had found enough peace to enjoy this life when your time to pass over came my past memories began to overtake me. When you arrived I could feel your pain and it amplified mine. Since what you see is created by us, it can also be easily manipulated by our feelings. The life energy that is everything that we were in the physical world can become unstable. Just as I can create our own personal paradise, you can also create your own personal hell and become trapped within it.”

It was the same as my dreams. Once I learned to control my dreams it allowed me to have peace when awake which in turn allowed me to be at peace when asleep. It began to make sense. Everything is connected through our mind, our perception. This did pose a problem. The voice told me everything I saw was a lie and I knew too well the mind can be controlled, the senses fooled. How could I be sure what was real, what we created and what was being created for us?

“
So who created this place?” I asked. “Is there a God here? How did everything begin?”

“
I will show you what I can, David” Clara answered. “We will start at the beginning.”

Clara turned to me and placed her hands on the side of my face. She smiled at me as her eyes turned pure white and shined with a brilliant glow. I could feel her presence enter my mind and in an instant reality was washed away in a blinding light. The brightness faded like a dimming bulb into darkness. My physical body had faded from me into a feeling of weightlessness.